Something I've been thinking about...

This semester, I am in a class called, "Pastoral Care with Adolescents." I also am finishing up a module tomorrow that also deals with faith in youth, children, and families. For the latter class, I had to read a book and write a paper about it. I chose the book, "Hurt" by Chap Clark. It was interesting, to say the least. The book deals with the issue of abandonment being the underlying cause for a lot of the things teenagers are having to face in today's modern world. Teenagers today are under a lot of stress, and it seems to be systemic from the family and other adults who are off doing their own things instead of being parents and mentors. I'm not saying all adults are hands off when it comes to the lives of teens, but it is a reality for many people.

Reading that book made me think about how teens don't have people to talk to whom they can trust to not just "tell them what to do" or to put all sorts of pressure on them. And that got me to thinking about how when youth approach us, it would do us all well to treat them with respect and love. Only with respect and love and grace are we showing Christ's love to them. We don't show the love of God in Christ when we beat them over their heads with our Bibles, or doctrine, or theology, but when we accept them, warts and all.

And then THAT got me to thinking about this time when I was in high school (the real point of this blog post). I was maybe a junior or so, when a young lady in the class below me came up to me one day. She was one of the girls who was not "popular" in the traditional sense of the word. She wore baggy clothes and didn't have "nice" hair or expensive jewelry, or this or that. She had a reputation for being a stoner/drinker/party person. She swore a lot, she fought a lot, and she skipped school a lot. But, we had P.E. together, and because I tried to be one of those people who would talk to anyone (The MAN isnt' going to tell me who I! can be friends with!), I guess we were on friendly enough terms. I guess I should also include the fact that there were maybe 350 people, tops, at my high school. Everyone knew everyone else, and everyone was always up in everybody else's kool-aid, but it was a pretty decent place to be. I also should include that, while I believed in the Triune God, I was not one of those students who was trying to be a "soul-winner" or whatever. That sort of thing is not my style. Instead, I just tried to live my faith, in the ways a 16-17 year old, mainline Protestant denomination, Christ follower can.

Anyway, back to the young lady. We shall call her "Jessica." She came up to me one day and said something along the lines of, "You believe in God, right?" To which I replied something like, "Yes, I do."

She said, "Well, this is going to sound weird, but I've never heard about who Jesus is. Who is he? What does he do? I've honestly never really been told about him."

And the class was over, so we were walking toward the hallway out of the gym and I told her a little bit about who Jesus is. That Jesus loves us; loves ALL people. That he gave his life so that we could be forgiven." And she said something like, "But what do you have to do to be loved like that?"

And I think I replied something like, "You don't have to do anything. Jesus loves all people." And then, we had to go to our different classes. And thinking back on it, I just think about how it could have seemed that I was dismissing her questions because I wouldn't STOP WALKING to class while she was talking to me. And I didn't ever follow up with her. And I don't think Jessica got the answers she was looking for that day, or that she ever changed.

But the sheer fact that she CAME to me to ask is something I am humbled about now that I have 7 or 8 years between me now and the me then. I wish that I could have been more patient, or more persistent (not in a crazy way, but in a, "I'd like to give you more time to discuss this if you'd like" way). I wish that my witness to Christ could have been more faithful in actions, instead of in just words. I wish that I would have just been more mature, and more cognizant that "rule following" and getting to class on time is not that big of a deal when someone wants to know what Jesus is like.

I'm thinking, "She saw me as someone she could talk to honestly and openly about faith." Holy Cow. Wow. It is my fervent prayer that I am still someone who teenagers can relate to, but I don't have much interaction with them (other than my old friends from Restaurant that I have on MySpace). And I am reminded to pray for Jessica, and hope and pray that she is still curious about this Jesus guy, and who he is. And pray that someone will be more gracious than I was, in order that the radical and life-changing love of Christ might be made evident to her.

Prayers for Northern Illinois University

As a native of the great state of Illinois, and an alum of Illinois State University, I am just flabbergasted about what has happened at NIU. DeKalb, Illinois is less than an hour and a half away from my hometown. A dear, dear friend of mine was a student there, but graduated last May with a Master's degree. I can only imagine the pain and grief that the entire student body is feeling.

So often we take our physical safety for granted.

During this difficult time, I would ask for your prayers to be with that community as they try to make heads or tails of the senselessness of the violence that has entered into their lives.

Psalm 121
I lift up my eyes to the hills-
from where will my help come?
My help comes from the Lord,
who made heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot be moved;
he who keeps you will not slumber.
He who keeps Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.

The Lord is your keeper;
the Lord is your shade at your right hand.

The sun shall not strike you by day,
nor the moon by night.

The Lord will keep you from all evil;
he will keep your life.
The Lord will keep
your going out and your
coming in
from this time on and
forevermore.

Molita!

When I was at junior college, I took an introduction to psychology class with a really neat guy. He used to pass around a sheet of paper for us to write our names on and that was what he used for attendance. But, the thing is, the only times he looked at the paper was on test days. So, I gleaned that he was a funny type, and thus, I would write my name as Trishalita or Trishmolita or Trishalitalicious or Trishypants or some such thing. I found it amusing, and I figured it wouldn't be such a bad thing so long as he could get that it was me.

Anyway, after the first test, he and I were talking one day before class started. He said, "Someone wrote something mean after your name on the attendance paper." I said, "What'd they write?" And he said, "Something like, 'Trishmolita' or something." I replied, "I wrote that!" He asked me if that was really my name and I told him that Trisha is my real name, but I was just goofing around. I figured he might get a kick out of it, too.

So, fast forward to the next test day. I wrote another weird something after my name. Then, the next time we met for class, he approached me again and said, "Someone wrote something mean after your name again." I told him that it was me doing the writing, and that it was for fun. So, this pattern went on til about the last few weeks, when he started getting the joke. He started calling me funny little things like, "Trishyroo" and whatever. I found it endearing. He was slightly bizarre, but really, a very funny and charming man.

Anyway, so I was so amused by that semester's antics with the professor that I told Sis and BiL about it. They were also amused, and have since started calling me Trishmolita on occasion. Also, if you call my cell phone and get my voice mail, it says, "Trishmolita is not available...." The other day, a seminary friend called my phone while we were in class so that I could have her number since I gave her mine. Anyway, she hung up and she said, "Who's Trishmolita?" I told her the psychology story, and she was amused (I think).

Tonight, some of us went out to HyVee to get some ice cream. HyVee has individual serving things of ice cream. Since I'm not really into ice cream all that much, I thought that was great. But anyway, all day and night, the same seminary friend has been calling me "MOLITA!" And I REALLY like that nickname! It's so different! I told her to spread it around. Now it's my job to come up with a nickname that sticks with her. It may be slightly tough, but I think I'm up to the challenge.

Anyway, tonight was really awesome. I know I said it a while ago, but I'm REALLY starting to like it here. :) yay!

What a day.

Here I am, diploma (cover) in hand, with all that smart goodness having been bestowed upon me by the powers that be. Actually, though, I won't get my diploma til about March or so. I don't care, whatever. As per usual, I'm going to bore you with just about every boring detail of the day...

I was frantically cleaning my house yesterday/last night, and finally went to bed. Unfortunately, I've had a cold and so I couldn't sleep last night. So, I took some acetaminophen and finally konked out. I set 3 alarms and the first one went off, I bolted upright, shut it off, and sat there jacknifed in my bed for about 2 minutes, watching the numbers tick by. I thought, "Is it really 6:15 already?" So, I got up, got ready, grabbed my cap and gown, and drove to CollegeTown. I parked farther away than I'd thought I was, because I didn't realize that there wasn't a gap between the buildings I needed to get by. I ended up walking for about 10 minutes just to get to the entrance I needed to get to. I got there plenty early though. They started passing out our name cards, and then we went to the next stop, which is the arena in which graduation is held. We were sectioned out according to major, number on our name card (alphabetical) and all that good jazz. I was number 30 and the woman in front of me was, naturally, 29. It's weird, those around me were all Soc. majors, and yet, I didn't know half of them. But anyway, I got to talking to Ms. 29 and it turns out she is a licensed minister! I had no idea. I told her of my plans and she wished me good luck, and also helped me put on those STUPID hats they make graduates wear. It was really neat to meet her. Plus, she was really nice.

After a while, we were told to start going into the actual arena part where the spectators were sitting. We had to open our robes first so the powers that be could make sure we were not packing any alcohol or something. So, we zipped back up and processed to our chairs. After we were all seated, there was a bunch of blah blah blah-ing, and clapping, and what not. The Doctorates were awarded first, then the Masters degrees, and finally they got to the undergrads. Because Sociology is the 3rd to the last major alphabetically, we were toward the back. I couldn't really see what was going on, but surprisingly, I was not very nervous at all. The marshall came and told our row to go. So, we started walking up there. We got to the end of the bleachers where the band was (you can't see back there from the majority of the arena) and there were pro photographers taking pictures. I wasn't expecting that, either. They threw all these instructions at us and I didn't hear a word the lady said. But, I got my photo taken and went into the line again. Then, we get closer and someone was taking the name cards so those announcing could read our names and any special distinctions we had (I had none) and we could walk across the stage and get our diploma (covers). So, they started saying my name, I walked, shook hands, held the diploma, and had my photo taken again. Then, I walked down the steps. Well, you should know that my school has two people saying the names; one on each side of the platform. Sociology was my side, obviously, and the other side was a different major. So, I walked down and saw a bunch of Soc. professors. The first one was a really cool guy I had my 2nd to last semester. He gave me a hug and said to keep in touch. I said, "It's been nice knowing you." and he said, "Make sure to visit!" and then I shook another profs hand because I didn't know her. Then, I saw another prof I knew and she gave me a hug and said congratulations and I said "Thanks Dr. X!" and then I shook hands with the rest of the people.

Now... Hehe. One of the problems with the hugging is that I'm not really much of a hugger. I value my personal space and up until recently I didn't really even like people to touch me at all. But, I guess I'm changing because today, the hugs made me feel special and loved. But, the other problem with the hugging is that the profs didn't hug all the soc majors that came down. I guess I really am special. :) hehe. So the problem was that the hugging took a little while and I didn't see where the person ahead of me went. It was all happening so fast that I started to return to my seat down the wrong side aisle, (There were two; one for our side of the platform and one for the other side) so I had to step back, and then I thought, "Am I going the right way?" and then I kind of waffled back and forth for a few seconds before heading down MY aisle toward my seat. I felt like such a complete idiot! But, I returned to my seat and then everyone else did their thing and that was that. Then, there was a bunch more blah blah blah-ing and finally we got to process out. My family told me they would not be waiting for me outside; that I should just start for home so we could get the house and food all the way ready and what not. But, I stayed and talked to some friends for a few minutes and then decided to leave. Getting out of the parking lot was difficult, but a kind person saw me in my car, lipped "Are you trying to get out?" and when I nodded yes, they let me out. (Ah the benefits of not taking the robe off to drive home!)

Anyway, I got home and we got the stuff ready and waited for people. At 2:00, (the time the invitation said) people started coming. Pastor and his wife came and they each gave me a hug and handed me a bag of gifts, and my aunt and uncle from the burbs came, and a whole bunch of people. Even a few church folk came.. I was expecting a few more than the couple who came, but that's ok. People are busy. But, I felt bad because I didn't get to talk to Pastor and his wife really while they were there because they went in and were talking to others while I was meeting, greeting, and conversing with those who were coming in. About 15 or 20 minutes later, Pastor and his wife came back out and said they had to be going because they had to go stir meat for another congregant's party (He graduated at the 1:00 ceremony). They gave me a hug bye and said congrats and all that good stuff. Several family friends and relatives, and a few of my own dear friends came, too. It was a wonderful day, for which I am extremely grateful. (Although I NEVER did get "bouncing off the walls" excited; I'm slightly disappointed).

After everyone left, I started opening the cards and gifts that people so generously bestowed on me. I'm always amazed at the generosity people show. I appreciate everything, especially reading the wonderful cards that were given to me. I love cards with handwritten notes of support and encouragement. I'm a sucker for them. This little lady with whom I worked wrote me a very touching note in her card and it just made me miss her all that much more, considering I no longer work there. Pastor and his wife gave me a bag of stuff and I was curious about what was in there, but I opened it last. There was a card with a wonderful note in it, two books with notes on the first pages of each, and the thing I let out a little laugh of joy for: A MySeminary sweatshirt! Haha! I'm such a bum and I'm always bumming around in sweatshirts, and they got me one! But like I said, I am just truly touched by the generosity, love, and support I have been shown these last few weeks and I am excited to write out thank you notes to those who helped share in this special day with me. I wish there was a way to put the feelings in my heart into their hearts so they could know exactly how much they all mean to me.

Once I finished recording the gifts, I started watching some VH1 and I fell asleep with a major headache because I hadn't eaten all day because I was just not in the mood to eat. And then I woke up when Ma turned the T.V. off. I said, "I'm watching that!" lol. And now, I find myself blogging about the whole day, and just being moved (to echo the presiding feeling of the last few weeks, I will add: almost to tears) by all the emotion and love. I am so truly thankful that people care enough to take time out of their schedules, to write handwritten notes, to talk with me, and just share in life. It's amazing. Community is a wonderful thing. God has blessed me richly, and I am so very thankful.

Saturday is the big day!

I'll be graduating in only 2 days! I can't believe it. The house still isn't all the way clean and I'm slightly freaking. My mom is one of those people who NEVER throws anything away, so I just feel slightly overwhelmed. I have the living room and most of the front porch (facade or foyer, if you so please) looking nice, but there is a lot left to do. I needed a break though, and thus the blogging. I haven't had class all week. My Senior Experience class met last night at a pizza place in CollegeTown. Prof P. bought the pizza; we were just responsible for beverages. I'm a big fan of water, so really, the excursion only cost me in gas! Yay! But, I needed to go anyway to sell my books back. Yeehaw. I also sold back my parking permit today for way more than I thought I'd get. But they SEND that to you, so I went and came home with the same amount of money.. Ah well. I'll probably need a few bucks when it comes in the mail. Ok, well I need to go now. Lots of stuff to do yet! Blessings in your own frenzy!

Almost done

Tomorrow is the last day of real class for me at College. I can't believe it. And, I don't HAVE to take any finals because my history prof doesn't make his students take all of them, and my capstone class doesn't have a final. We are presenting our findings from all of our research tomorrow. Well, I'm not in the presenting group, but it's all of our findings. I did a bunch of editing. I can't believe it. We're almost there. I just have this unfounded fear that a member of the faculty who comes to see our presentation is going to heckle us and tell us we did a shoddy job and we're going to fail. I know that's not logical, but I'm one of those, "Can't breath till it's over" people. You know the type. I don't get mean and psychotic, but I'm slightly stressed and grateful that I have chewable Pepto in my car for occasions such as this. :) Hehe. I'm out.

Holy Cow!

My University is closed today! Wow. I didn't think they EVER closed, considering that about half the population lives in the dorms or student apartments. Wow.

In other news, I'm simply agog* to get to my last day of work tonight. I hope they don't call me off.

*Agog is Yourdictionary.com's word of the day from November 27th. It means "intensely eager." You learn something new every day!

Wintry Mix

It's snowing/sleeting/ice-pelleting outside. The weatherman has predicted 7-10 inches by tomorrow. Ugh. Sorry, but considering the fact I've been a commuter for the past 4 years, I hate snow, ice, and all things that make driving hazardous. At least I don't have to go to school tomorrow. WooHoo for only having Tuesday/Thursday classes!

In other news, tomorrow is my last day of work. I hope we're not dead slow on account of the weather. In all actuality, we probably will be. I will be unemployed for the first time in 9 1/2 years. One of my co-workers gave me a "Good Bye" card tonight with a hand-written note inside. For my reaction, see my previous post. :) That's all I've got to say about that.

Announcement!

I've blogged before about my neurotic frugal tendencies. Well, here's another story about them.

I'm graduating on December 16th, and School makes you buy your graduation gown, tassel, and cap from them. So, I did that, but I REFUSED to spend 40 bucks on announcements. A friend of mine collaborated with me and we (meaning she) did 99% of the work and printed a bunch of announcements up for me. All I had to do was figure out the verse I wanted on there and give her the details.

Be strong and courageous
Do not be terrified;
Do not be discouraged,
for the Lord your God will be with you
wherever you go
Joshua 1:9

Then, there's information about the open house we're planning to have and the school's seal is at the top. I am VERY happy about the way they turned out. G, you're the best! Thanks!

A little song by me (Just be glad you can't hear me singing it)

Verse 1:
I go to school at Illinois State
And I like to Pro-cras-tin-ate
All my papers are gonna be late
and my group'll throw me in the river to be fish bait

Chorus:
Ooohhh, procrastinate, procrastinate
Oooohhh, late, late, late
Ooohhh, procrastinate, late, fish bait

Verse 2:
I should be writing a paper due this week
But instead I'm writing a song that reeks
Cuz I'm really a great big geek
An easy semester is what I seek

Chorus:
Oooohhh, this week, this week
Oooohhhh, song that reeks
Oooohhh, this week and my song reeks

Verse 3:
It's time to return to my stuff
I need to get off my lazy duff
I can add lots of adjective for fluff
To make my paper long ENOUGH!!

Chorus:
Ooooh, stuff, stuff, stuff
OOOhhhhh, lazy duff, lazy duff
Ooohhh, adjectives for fluff.

The End. Anybody out there gifted with putting lyrics to music? I think we have a top ten hit.

Ay Carumba...

I can't believe it; bowling is almost over. I only have this week to try and bowl my 200 game. Frankly, I don't think I'm going to make it. I came close one day, and have floundered ever since. Oh well. I'm going to get an "A" in the class, and that's the main thing, I guess.

I got a B+ on my first history test. That is somewhat disappointing to me because I want to get an A in order to potentially graduate with some sort of honors. I am hundredths of a point away from graduating Cum Laude. I don't know if I'm going to make that, either... Oh well. There are worse things in life than not getting that stamp on your diploma.

My Capstone Class is FREAKING ME OUT! Yikes. There is a lot of stuff to do and it seems not nearly enough time in which to do it. I'm scared. But you know, December 16 will be here before we know it. I can't wait.

Really, I can't wait till December 1. I am SO INCREDIBLY ready to be done with Restaurant. Ugh. The drama there just... sucks. Yup. That about sums it up.

In other news, my newest nephew is so darn cute I could just eat him up. I was over there yesterday and I picked him up and held him out from me and he just started laughing. Then I put him above my head and said, "Look how high up you are!" and he laughed some more. I love that child so much I could puke. And with that, I'm off. I think I'm going to hit the hay.

Oh yeah, one last thing... No word from Seminary yet. My future still hangs in the balance! I'll let you know when I know. I'm sure you're all dying to hear.

Things on my mind...

I confess; I listen to Christian Contemporary Music. Some of it I like, some of it, I could really do without. But anyway, there are a few CCM radio stations that I am near enough to hear, and so my presets include the stations. Well, I'm sure as many of you know, October is Clergy Appreciation Month. Therefore, the stations air little blips telling us how we can make our appreciation for our pastors known. I've noticed something that bothers me though... On these commercials, the announcer says something along the lines of, "Here are some ways you can make your Pastor and his wife feel appreciated..." Or, "Your pastor. He's there with you..." Not once have I heard a statement that recognizes that women are pastors, too. And I thought, "Y'know... Maybe they're just saying 'him' as a generalization." But then I thought that they might later be more inclusive. But they're not. And it just kind of bugs me that even radio stations have become so right-wingish. I mean, really. There are many women out there who are very effective pastors. Just look at all the wonderful pastors at RevGalBlogPals and really, all over the Internet. It just bothers me that here we are in the year 2006, and some people can't get over the fact that God can and does call women into ministry. I know... It's just a radio blip. But still...

Another thing has been on my mind as well... In my senior experience class, there are some people who have been rather nit-picky about our professor. One of them went to her today and made "our" complaints known. This also bothers me because I don't have complaints about the professor. I don't like the class, but that's just because it makes me incredibly nervous. It's really the only thing that could cause me to not graduate. My other 2 classes aren't difficult at all. But, more importantly than this class making me nauseated, I think is the fact that some of the students present themselves as our spokespeople. And the one came into the room today and was talking to her friend and the friend said, "If you two are friends now, we can't be friends." That in itself bothered me, but then, the professor talked with us about "our" concerns for about half an hour and the second girl was acting all nicey-nice to the prof. It's just fake and I don't really like it. The half hour talk just drove home to me the point of just how unsettled conflict makes me feel. Conflict drains me. It is something I need to work on. Not all congregations can be as wonderful as the one to which I belong, and I don't want to go around feeling drained all the time. That just came up because the seminary application asked for the applicant to write an essay in which they discuss the things that energize/drain them... But, I could not think of anything at that time, so I just submitted my candidacy essay (which they said it perfectly fine on the application. I'm not a complete slacker). Anyway, those were just a few things I wanted to discuss. OH yeah, and I had PIZZA tonight for dinner! It was good. But now I have to go to bed because I have to drive my mother to the hospital tomorrow to have a procedure done. Bright and early. Yay... Not.

It's a Small World After All

Today, I was walking to bowling here at School. On my trek, I like to go through the student union because it takes less time than walking around through the parking lot. Anyway, I was walking along and minding my own business when I looked up and saw a man who looked oddly familiar. I waved at him and then I realized that I had waited on him, his wife, and his uncle at Restaraunt the night before! I got a little closer, and he stopped, I stopped, and I noticed his wife was there and she also stopped! haha. They had this look of incredulity on their faces when the wife said, "I didn't know you went to school here!" And I said, "Yep, I'm in my last semester" And then our conversation continued on a little bit and we all introduced ourselves to each other (Not something people really do in restaurants with the waitstaff, y'know). And the wife told me she works here, and that if I need anything, I could come to HerHall for help. I was flabbergasted. It was so nice because sometimes I just think of myself as another face that people don't remember outside of the context in which they usually see me. But, these people recognized me from fifty feet away, while I was in completely different clothes, a different setting, and all that good stuff. Granted, these people are incredibly nice to wait on because they are friendly and polite, I still wouldn't have expected them to remember me outside of Restaurant. It was just a nice start to my school day. It makes me feel good. Don't ask me why; it just does.

The end is near!

No, sorry, I'm not prophesying anything here! I'm not the Kentucky Prophesy Guy (Woman, in my case). I have been thinking a lot lately about the future. A million questions have been running through my mind. "Will I be accepted to seminary for January? Will I get in to the extended CPE term? When am I going to quit my job? What do I need to take with me? Am I going to fit in? Will I be able to handle the rigors of theological education? Is this really my calling?" All these questions and some others related to these questions have been running through my mind. But, in my thinking, I at least think I know when I'm leaving Restaurant. I would like my last day to be Friday, December 1st. I plan on graduating on Saturday, December 16, so having two weeks off prior to that will help me get things in order, and will also help me have time to finish up my research. So, as I was driving to school today, I realized that the end is in site for my "career" at Restaurant! I didn't realize it until today that, as much as I like serving the people who I have come to know and love there, I am ready to be gone because of all the drama that is Restaurant. I'm thrilled. I've been there for 9 1/2 years and it is time to move on! So, I'm thrilled. And now, people are standing around waiting for a computer here at school, so I'm going to stop blogging and let someone else have my station. Hasta.

Yuck.

'Sup, people? Man, I should be in BED right now! I'm bad. Oh well, I have a legitimate reason for being up this late. I just got done with my homework. And no, I wasn't procrastinating (well, I was, but not too terribly). I actually was busy and couldn't get to my work. I am leading worship this Sunday and so I had to write my message and get it sent to Pastor. He and his wife are leaving tomorrow to go on vacation. I hate having to drag him away from what he is doing on vacation to read the message I should have had sent to him prior to their departure. So, I wanted to get that done. I did and he gave it the thumbs up. I'm thrilled. So, then, our church council meeting was changed from Monday to tonight (Wednesday, even though it is technically Thursday right now) because of the Labor Day holiday. I had to go to that because I am the secretary. Plus, they talk about me a lot because of the Student Aid fund and what not. I like to be in the know, ya know? So, I got home tonight and had some dinnah and then got (almost) straight to my homework. If I wasn't feeling so crappy, I might have been able to get at it sooner, but I think I have a sinus infection or something. It's making me queasy. :( Thank the Lord for chewable Pepto Bismol (it actually tastes like that old candy "bottlecaps"). And anyway, I've noticed something in several of my recent posts... Sometimes I am a little too negative. I think I'm going to start working on that because negativity is not something I want to let get a foothold in my life. Pastor and I have been talking about my impending application to seminary and I have been feeling weird about that, and kind of down on myself. He talked to the dean of students at the seminary to which I plan to apply and the dean said that starting in January isn't a bad idea. Pastor emailed me and told me about his convo with that man. He gave me a little boost when he said, "Some things/people are worth the extra investment." Now, I didn't think much about that comment until tonight when I stuck around after council to have a brief chat with Pastor. I thought he had meant that some extra time at Seminary wouldn't be a bad thing because it's a cool place. But during our chat, he said, "Did I make myself clear when I emailed you the last time?" And I said, "Yes. Extra time at Seminary wouldn't be bad because it's worth the extra investment." And he said, "I meant that YOU are worth the extra investment." Thanks for the reminder, Pastor. Sometimes I forget. And that is my daily outpouring, poor self-esteem issues and all. Have a nice day.

158

Today, at bowling, I bowled probably the second best game of my life! I scored a 158! My highest game ever was a 199, which I scored on the last day of league bowling in 2005 (I think). Yeah. So, I'm excited.

In other news, wait, what am I talking about? There is no other news. I'm boring. :) ha. See ya.

I'm weak.

What? I am weak. In more ways than one. This semester, I am taking Bowling as a class. It is a one credit hour course that I decided to take because I am also taking a history class and the capstone class for my major. I used to bowl in a league (although I have never been very good). Well, for class, we haven't been having "lecture" yet, so we have just been practicing bowling and showing our stuff. I am so out of practice that my legs are killing me! I like biking, hiking, skydiving, walking, and all sorts of sports, and here I am all stiff and sore from BOWLING. Haha. I'm such a dork.

You know though, as I wrote the first paragraph, I realized that I AM weak in more ways than one. I'm weak when it comes to breaking my tendency to procrastinate. This is something I have tried to overcome many times in the past, yet to no avail. I'm so apathetic about getting most things done in a timely fashion. Don't get me wrong, I always get things done ON TIME, but often as a mad dash to the finish. *Sigh* what's a girl to do?

As I think about my inability to overcome my procrastination habit, I also find myself thinking about this coming Sunday's Gospel lesson. The people are grumbling about how what Jesus is talking about is too hard to understand. His commands are "hard words" to follow. What does he mean we have to eat his flesh and drink his blood? What does he mean that he is from the Father? Isn't he Mary and Joseph's son? Isn't he just a down home boy? Is he off his rocker?" Hard words. So many times, when we hear messages that are difficult to understand, we tune out. The words are too long, the ideas are too foreign, or the concepts are just too abstract, and so we just kind of check out. Many of the people Jesus was talking to didn't really understand what the big deal was, or they didn't think they could do it, so they just decided to forget about it. But Jesus stated quite clearly that it is imperative to take his body and blood in order to have eternal life. Those who decided to stick with Jesus through the Father's beckoning them will reap the rewards that Jesus promises. Those who follow the "hard words" will not lose their reward. May we find the strength to follow the tasks we find to be difficult as we live in service to our Lord; even if it involves overcoming procrastination.

A bad sign...

Well, here I sit at 11:30 at night, blogging. I am nearing the end of my first week back in the groove of school. I'm a bad, bad girl. I only have 3 classes this semester, but I am already procrastinating. I really, really, REALLY should be reading some stuff for my Soc. 300 class, but I'm not. I think I'll do it this weekend. I really need to get out of this procrastination habit. It's not good. I want to stay on top of things this semester and not wait to do what I should do now. And I haven't written the prayers of the people for Sunday yet, and I'm really tired, and I need to do some other stuff too. Ugh. When I got the results of my psychological profile from the 5 1/2 hours of testing I endured, they said that I might want to consider sitting down with a professional and talking about my tendency to procrastinate, among a few other things. Maybe I should, but I don't want to do it now. Maybe later... :) I'm going to bed now. I'm bad.

A little bit of encouragement...

Hi. Things are looking up. I went to work tonight and my boss was apparently over whatever she was mad about on Sunday. I'm glad. It's much easier to work when people are not harping on each other. Then, when I got home from work, I checked my email to find a message from my pastor saying that he had some conversations with some congregants. One of these congregants apparently TRACKED him down to tell him that I did a "great job" leading worship on Sunday. Two other people said that they really liked church on Sunday and that I did a really good job. I was pleasantly surprised. If I wasn't such a wuss, I'd post my sermon. But, I AM a wuss with a capital W. :) Hehe. Maybe one of these days I'll put one up.

School started Monday. I have bowling on M/W/F, and American Diversity and Senior Experience on T/R. Senior Experience is the capstone class for Sociology majors, and it involves doing your own research experiment. I was and still am slightly worried about it. I thought I was gonna hurl during the first meeting of the class today. I tried really hard to get into a certain section with a teacher I really like, and it was successful. But then, he got a grant and so they brought in someone absolutely new to teach the class. So, I don't get the prof I tried so desperately to get, and I'm just slightly worried. I know I shouldn't be. I'm perfectly capable of doing the work; it just makes me a li'l bit nervous. Whatever. Anyway, I need to go. I'm really tired.

Dude...

Today has been quite a day. I got to lead worship at both of my pastor's churches this morning. I got A LOT of positive feedback on my message. I was happy about that. Sometimes I get done preaching or I'm halfway through and I think, "These people are NOT paying attention. My sermon must be very substandard." But today, I was getting laughs, people were engaged, I didn't see anybody with that glassed over look, AND people said it was an attention getter from the get go. I'm glad though. I like to keep the people engaged. And, the wireless mic at my church functioned perfectly! Nothing involved in the sound system worked at the other church, but that's ok because they don't really need it anyway. One of the people at Church 2 said that he could hear me perfectly, even without a mic. So, I was happy. That church is substantially smaller than my church, so maybe that's why they could hear.

After worship, I had to go to work. It sucked. My boss was being slightly neurotic and mean today, and she was harping after me and just being mean. I was sad about that. I know I should not let her get to me like she does, but she just really can be cruel sometimes. Hopefully she's better by Tuesday so I don't have to get it all over again. I don't think I'll be able to stand continuing to work there if she's going to make my (hopefully) last few months miserable.

I was going to mow the lawn today, but this cold is sticking with me and I didn't feel like it. I had to go get my mower from my brother's house because his step-son had borrowed it. Well, on my walk home with it, I was just thinking about how tired I was and how much I did NOT want to mow today. And just my luck, a neighbor's nephew who is in town came over and asked if he could do it for a couple of bucks. Can we say Divine Providence!? Haha.

And finally, today is my last day of summer vacation. School starts tomorrow. I have one class and I just *know* it will be grueling. It is bowling, after all. I think I will throw the first few games so I can improve a lot. I used to be a league bowler (Although I was never very good) but I don't want to risk graduating on account of very little improvement in the game. I think it'd be cool if they offered skydiving in college. I'd be all over that! :) I am really tired, so I think I'm going to hit the hay early now. Have a blessed week, and don't let "the man" (or "the woman") get you down. Hasta.