Last night, I had not one, but TWO crazy dreams. Well, actually they were more nightmare like than dream like. It's been a while since I've had dreams I really remember, but these two fit that bill.
The first dream had me at my congregation. I had failed to prepare a sermon, but had talked with a seminary mate about their sermon from the previous week. The topic was about sin, and I got a good idea from either Shannon or James, I can't remember which. So, in the dream/nightmare, I was reading the Gospel lesson, and then I took 8 bouncy balls (you know the kind-you put the quarter in the machine and turn the lever til the ball comes out) and bounced them into the congregation. I said something like, "Think of sin like this...The balls are sin. Even if they don't hit you, you still duck." Then, I started talking a little more, and I was looking at the bulletin insert. When I looked up, EVERYONE was gone except for three young girls. The funny thing is, only one of them actually goes to my church. It was strange, and one of those dreams that is just unpleasant. I have always had "inadequacy dreams," even when I worked food service. I used to have a recurring dream where I was SUPER DUPER late for work at Restaurant, and my boss always sent me home. So, I'm hoping this isn't going to be a recurring dream!
My second dream was actually WAY worse.
I had a nightmare then. I don't remember the WHOLE thing, but here is what I do remember:
There was some kind of HUGE earthquake. It wasn't just limited to a city or state. The way that I was "thinking" in the dream was that this was a world-wide earthquake that seriously changed things...This was like an APOCALYPTIC earthquake. It knocked out roads and phone wires and cell towers and everything. I couldn't call my sisters and brothers and I had no way of finding out if they were still alive.
When the earthquake happened, I was up at one of the Bible camps, and we were having to help the campers stay safe, and get someplace where we could get them food and water and safety. I saw a seminary friend while we were up there and I said, "Is everyone in your family okay?" She got a sad look on her face and said everyone was fine except her dad, who died. I was so sad for my friend, and I think if I'd have woken up right then, I might have been crying, but instead, I kept dreaming.
Next, I saw a United Airlines sign, but the earthquake had broken it. But, either I was able to fly out, or my sisters were able to fly in. Suddenly, I was back at my childhood home, standing out in the yard. I was trying to find my sisters, but I couldn't move. So, I just started yelling my younger sister's name. She called out, "I'm here!" So, she came over to me and I said, "I'm so happy you're alive! Is everyone else okay?" She said everyone was fine except for Oldest Brother. His wife had wanted him to go under the stairs to pray during the earthquake, and they fell on top of him and killed him. Then, we were in my old living room, sitting on my mom's old couch, and the treasurer from my congregation was sitting there. Then, the dream ended, I think.
Dreams are weird. I have mentioned before that I've ALWAYS had very vivid dreams. Usually they're just weird, and not scary. But this second dream was very scary and I didn't like it.
I don't feel particularly stressed right now, and I like my call (and I think they like me), so I don't really know what brought these dreams on. The subconscious is a very weird thing. Anyway, here's hoping tonight's dreams are better.
Showing posts with label Dreams. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dreams. Show all posts
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Thursday, December 09, 2010
Dream
Ever since I have been a small child, I've always had very vivid dreams. I remember a dream that I had from the time I was around 4 or 5 because it was so vivid, even. Often, I consider it a gift to have such an active subconscious, but sometimes I am troubled by what my brain brings up. But, on the whole, I appreciate the visions of sugarplums that dance through my head.
I think that because of my long history of vivid dreams, and the fact that I remember many of them has helped me become fairly good at decoding what they are saying. Often, I think back to what was on my mind before I went to sleep, and can then figure things out.
I had a dream yesterday that was very odd. I finished my annotated bibliography for a class, took the book back to the library, and sat down at my desk to send it off to the professors. However, I was quickly sidetracked by a horrible bout of nausea (figures, right?). So, I went to lie down on my bed. Soon enough, I was asleep and dreaming this:
I was down in this big basement like room because I was following a bear. It was like I was going into a water level in Super Mario Bros, though it wasn't cartoon-like. It was dark, and I think I had come down a pipe. I jumped off the little platform and into the water. The water didn't really make me feel cold or anything; it was simply something in the dream. As I swam along, I found myself soon enough at this really gross little house that was on stilts to keep it out of the water. It looked all black and mildewy and everything. As the house came into my sight, I also saw the bear I had been following. It was also swimming, but just as I got it in my sight, it pulled this big hose that had a plug on it. I realized it was draining all the water out of the big room, so I went right back to the platform to try to get out, but too much water was already gone. I couldn't get back up onto the platform. Soon, all the water was gone and the bear was backing me against a wall. I was very scared as it continued to back me up until my back was against the wall. But, as I backed into the wall, I looked down and saw a bunch of really long 2x4s right there. As I looked down at them, it didn't register in my brain to pick one up. The bear was snarling at me, and at this point I picked up one of the 2x4s and started swinging it at the beast. Even though the bear was very close to me, I still missed. But, the bear started backing away anyway and then it turned into a less scary thing; a man. It was at this point that I woke up, gasping for breath because I was so scared.
As I lie there in my bed, I thought, "What a strange dream. I wonder what it means." Then, out of the blue, the meaning hit me. The bear was dementia and the big room was grief. The dementia pulled the plug and made me stuck in grief even though I tried to get out of it. When the dementia started coming after me, I didn't know what to do about it and I felt trapped. I saw tools to help and eventually picked one up and used it to help me. I missed because dementia is such a huge opponent, but I felt empowered. When I felt empowered, the bear (dementia) turned into the man (something more manageable). I was fighting it back because I needed to before it ate me up. I kept missing the bear but it kept backing away.
And that's the meaning that came and whacked me upside the head. I have found myself wondering what the water is, but I don't think it had much to do with the dream. I wasn't cold because of it, nor was I drowning in it. It was just something that was. Often, I see water as a symbol for chaos in dreams, but that doesn't fit in this one because the chaos seems to increase with dementia because a person can feel so helpless. I also do not quite know what the gross house was about. Other than maybe the house is symbolic of the brain. The fact that it was covered in mildew (akin to plaques afflicting those with Alzheimer's, or like the blocking of blood vessels due to vascular dementia), and that it was far too small for the bear to live in makes me think that the house is symbolic of the brain. I don't know. Those two things didn't "come to me" the way the rest of the meaning did.
Anyway, I just wanted to share that dream because of the odd circumstances around it. I very rarely wake up gasping for air, but I was really afraid in this dream, and I was also really putting forth an effort to hit the bear with the 2x4. Crazy, I know. But, also an interesting look into my subconscious.
I think that because of my long history of vivid dreams, and the fact that I remember many of them has helped me become fairly good at decoding what they are saying. Often, I think back to what was on my mind before I went to sleep, and can then figure things out.
I had a dream yesterday that was very odd. I finished my annotated bibliography for a class, took the book back to the library, and sat down at my desk to send it off to the professors. However, I was quickly sidetracked by a horrible bout of nausea (figures, right?). So, I went to lie down on my bed. Soon enough, I was asleep and dreaming this:
I was down in this big basement like room because I was following a bear. It was like I was going into a water level in Super Mario Bros, though it wasn't cartoon-like. It was dark, and I think I had come down a pipe. I jumped off the little platform and into the water. The water didn't really make me feel cold or anything; it was simply something in the dream. As I swam along, I found myself soon enough at this really gross little house that was on stilts to keep it out of the water. It looked all black and mildewy and everything. As the house came into my sight, I also saw the bear I had been following. It was also swimming, but just as I got it in my sight, it pulled this big hose that had a plug on it. I realized it was draining all the water out of the big room, so I went right back to the platform to try to get out, but too much water was already gone. I couldn't get back up onto the platform. Soon, all the water was gone and the bear was backing me against a wall. I was very scared as it continued to back me up until my back was against the wall. But, as I backed into the wall, I looked down and saw a bunch of really long 2x4s right there. As I looked down at them, it didn't register in my brain to pick one up. The bear was snarling at me, and at this point I picked up one of the 2x4s and started swinging it at the beast. Even though the bear was very close to me, I still missed. But, the bear started backing away anyway and then it turned into a less scary thing; a man. It was at this point that I woke up, gasping for breath because I was so scared.
As I lie there in my bed, I thought, "What a strange dream. I wonder what it means." Then, out of the blue, the meaning hit me. The bear was dementia and the big room was grief. The dementia pulled the plug and made me stuck in grief even though I tried to get out of it. When the dementia started coming after me, I didn't know what to do about it and I felt trapped. I saw tools to help and eventually picked one up and used it to help me. I missed because dementia is such a huge opponent, but I felt empowered. When I felt empowered, the bear (dementia) turned into the man (something more manageable). I was fighting it back because I needed to before it ate me up. I kept missing the bear but it kept backing away.
And that's the meaning that came and whacked me upside the head. I have found myself wondering what the water is, but I don't think it had much to do with the dream. I wasn't cold because of it, nor was I drowning in it. It was just something that was. Often, I see water as a symbol for chaos in dreams, but that doesn't fit in this one because the chaos seems to increase with dementia because a person can feel so helpless. I also do not quite know what the gross house was about. Other than maybe the house is symbolic of the brain. The fact that it was covered in mildew (akin to plaques afflicting those with Alzheimer's, or like the blocking of blood vessels due to vascular dementia), and that it was far too small for the bear to live in makes me think that the house is symbolic of the brain. I don't know. Those two things didn't "come to me" the way the rest of the meaning did.
Anyway, I just wanted to share that dream because of the odd circumstances around it. I very rarely wake up gasping for air, but I was really afraid in this dream, and I was also really putting forth an effort to hit the bear with the 2x4. Crazy, I know. But, also an interesting look into my subconscious.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
I sure hope this isn't a premonition...
Today, I took a bit of a nap. I had gone to classes this morning, and also worked out when a panel from Illinois could come for me and another young woman from Illinois to interview us for Endorsement. It took a wee bit of work to schedule all of this stuff, but I got it done. After I got that figured out, I went to check out this youth center where I will be doing my "field work" for a class. When I got home I laid down on my bed. I really wasn't all that tired, but I felt a bit off, and thus decided to rest. Soon enough, I was asleep, and having a crazy dream.
I dreamt that it was the day of the Endorsement Interviews. The way it works is that one person from each synod (or state, as in my case) is the lead coordinator and works to find a day and time when all the people they are grouped with can have the interviews. The leader can delegate tasks, so long as a room for interviewing is reserved, the panel, student, and faculty advisor are there, lunch is straightened out, and for those who come from a long way to get accommodations. So, I'd been slightly stressed about getting all this done because there are some things going on in my synod that are going to make the assistant to the bishop for candidacy affairs unavailable for a while. I wanted to get things hammered out before she left, so that she didn't have to be worried about it while she is away. Needless to say, I've had Endorsement on the brain. Anyway, so back to the dream...
I dreamt that instead of having these interviews on all separate days, every single synod was doing their interviews on the SAME day. Seminary set up big old rooms for dinner and what not about it. Well, on this day, my fellow Illinoisan and I forgot to meet our panel at the front desk. When we remembered and got there, he was like, "Finally!" and he rolled his eyes. So, he was saying snarky things to us about how incompetent we were and what not. And so, we were trying to be apologetic and polite, and so we took him to the dinner. There were ice sculptures set up and big long tables of food that people were sitting at. Our "panel" (which consisted in the dream of just this one guy), was not impressed. He had to wait for his meal, during which time, he continued to degrade us. So, after the meal (which I don't remember eating in the dream), there was some sort of presentation. He was not amused, and in fact, did not like at all. All of a sudden, it was like an hour or two had passed, and I loked around and saw that one ice sculpture was severely melted, and another one was basically destroyed. Just the base of it was there with a bunch of water in the ice "walls" that remained. Not many people were in the room anymore, and I looked around to see our "panel" destroying the ice sculptures. I knew that they wouldn't have degraded so quickly. He pretty much told us we were incompetent failures, and that he shouldn't have wasted his time.
At this point, I jerked awake and was like, "Dude... What the heck!"
I've been having some weird dreams lately that have been causing me to jerk awake. It's weird, and slightly amusing because when I wake up, I know that my subconscious has just blown things way out of proportion. I'm fairly confident that my Endorsement Interview (the next step in Candidacy for me and my classmates) will go well. My academic work has gone pretty well, I think I'm growing in this whole, "Trying to talk in class" thing, and I think I'm becoming more confident with my particular gifts and abilities. Dreams are bizarre things, I reckon. That, and I have lots o' stuff going on (obviously).
Anyway, I just thought I'd tell y'all of my crazy dreaming again. Have a delightful day.
I dreamt that it was the day of the Endorsement Interviews. The way it works is that one person from each synod (or state, as in my case) is the lead coordinator and works to find a day and time when all the people they are grouped with can have the interviews. The leader can delegate tasks, so long as a room for interviewing is reserved, the panel, student, and faculty advisor are there, lunch is straightened out, and for those who come from a long way to get accommodations. So, I'd been slightly stressed about getting all this done because there are some things going on in my synod that are going to make the assistant to the bishop for candidacy affairs unavailable for a while. I wanted to get things hammered out before she left, so that she didn't have to be worried about it while she is away. Needless to say, I've had Endorsement on the brain. Anyway, so back to the dream...
I dreamt that instead of having these interviews on all separate days, every single synod was doing their interviews on the SAME day. Seminary set up big old rooms for dinner and what not about it. Well, on this day, my fellow Illinoisan and I forgot to meet our panel at the front desk. When we remembered and got there, he was like, "Finally!" and he rolled his eyes. So, he was saying snarky things to us about how incompetent we were and what not. And so, we were trying to be apologetic and polite, and so we took him to the dinner. There were ice sculptures set up and big long tables of food that people were sitting at. Our "panel" (which consisted in the dream of just this one guy), was not impressed. He had to wait for his meal, during which time, he continued to degrade us. So, after the meal (which I don't remember eating in the dream), there was some sort of presentation. He was not amused, and in fact, did not like at all. All of a sudden, it was like an hour or two had passed, and I loked around and saw that one ice sculpture was severely melted, and another one was basically destroyed. Just the base of it was there with a bunch of water in the ice "walls" that remained. Not many people were in the room anymore, and I looked around to see our "panel" destroying the ice sculptures. I knew that they wouldn't have degraded so quickly. He pretty much told us we were incompetent failures, and that he shouldn't have wasted his time.
At this point, I jerked awake and was like, "Dude... What the heck!"
I've been having some weird dreams lately that have been causing me to jerk awake. It's weird, and slightly amusing because when I wake up, I know that my subconscious has just blown things way out of proportion. I'm fairly confident that my Endorsement Interview (the next step in Candidacy for me and my classmates) will go well. My academic work has gone pretty well, I think I'm growing in this whole, "Trying to talk in class" thing, and I think I'm becoming more confident with my particular gifts and abilities. Dreams are bizarre things, I reckon. That, and I have lots o' stuff going on (obviously).
Anyway, I just thought I'd tell y'all of my crazy dreaming again. Have a delightful day.
Saturday, August 23, 2008
I called YS
So, I called YS this afternoon to tell her about the dream (see post below). It turns out she IS really angry... Just not at me. YS is a pharmacy technician, and is VERY good at her job. Mama did a good job at instilling within all of us a good work ethic. YS is very capable and understands things that are lost on some people. Anyway, she works in the pharm. department of a hospital, and has for about a year or so. The only thing is, these two ladies were giving her all sorts of flak because she was assigned to the robot when they got it right around the time she started working. These ladies were not assigned to the robot because it is newer technology and they have proven to be a bit difficult to instruct because they apparently can't handle constructive criticism. So, YS knows all about this robot and is very efficient at it. But, the ladies were offended and have taken it out on her. So, YS got fed up with her attempts at being nice to ladies who would have none of it, and would talk smack about her, or ignore her completely, so she was going to quit and go back to her job as senior pharmacy tech at WalGreens. However, the hospital stepped in (despite the fact that YS is not a "tattle-tale." She didn't say these ladies were the problem until after much prodding by the boss) and they all had a meeting and gave her a substantial raise, and so now she is working both jobs.
Needless to say, she's stretched a little thin, in my book. YS is a wonderful, wonderful person, but she's not so good at realizing the need for self-care. In my opinion, she is becoming frazzled. Thankfully those two ladies are being nicer to her. The unfortunate thing is that there is a young man who works there, but "works" is used loosely. From what YS has said, he pretty much just scoots around in an office chair all day, asks YS to do his work, and draws chicken people on pretty much any piece of paper he can find. Strange, yes... So, YS is really fed up with his laziness, and says she wants to punch him in his face every time she sees him, which to me is slightly funny because she's not a violent person. But anyway, when she told me all this, she had prefaced it with, "You had that dream about me because I AM mad! Just not at you!"
I thought it was interesting that I would have a "YS is really angry" dream when she is in fact very angry. I've not talked to her in about a week and a half, and she'd not told me about this chicken people drawing guy. Dreams are weird. And with that, I'm going to go have dinner with some friends! Have a wonderful evening.
Needless to say, she's stretched a little thin, in my book. YS is a wonderful, wonderful person, but she's not so good at realizing the need for self-care. In my opinion, she is becoming frazzled. Thankfully those two ladies are being nicer to her. The unfortunate thing is that there is a young man who works there, but "works" is used loosely. From what YS has said, he pretty much just scoots around in an office chair all day, asks YS to do his work, and draws chicken people on pretty much any piece of paper he can find. Strange, yes... So, YS is really fed up with his laziness, and says she wants to punch him in his face every time she sees him, which to me is slightly funny because she's not a violent person. But anyway, when she told me all this, she had prefaced it with, "You had that dream about me because I AM mad! Just not at you!"
I thought it was interesting that I would have a "YS is really angry" dream when she is in fact very angry. I've not talked to her in about a week and a half, and she'd not told me about this chicken people drawing guy. Dreams are weird. And with that, I'm going to go have dinner with some friends! Have a wonderful evening.
Crazy Dream
Last night, I had a bizarre dream. Since I enjoy posting the weird ones, I bring you, "Catfight!"
I was back at my home in Illinois and YS and Ma were there, too. YS and I were being animous toward each other though, especially as we started to go outside to get into the "family" car in the driveway, which was like my old Jeep Cherokee (not Grand Cherokee, just Cherokee). I hurried up and ran to the driver's side so I could drive, but YS was screaming at me because she wanted to drive. I said, "Tough." So, I got behind the wheel and she got in the back seat to pout. Then, Ma (with all her faculties) came out and sat in the passenger's seat. I could tell YS was really mad, but for some reason, I didn't care. So, we set out, and all of a sudden, we were at a restaurant. YS, Ma, and I got a seat, but then, YS started getting snarky with me, and so she tackled me in the middle of this restaurant. We were rolling around on the floor screaming at each other and hitting each other and everything.
Then I woke up, probably out of shock because YS and I haven't fought in years, and there is nothing on my mind to be angry with her about. The other thing is that YS is not a fighter. She can't handle the tension. She will most times, try to smooth things over, or bury her own feelings so as to not "make waves." When we were younger, we used to argue a lot, but that's because I was always doing the "big sister" thing and trying to protect her from herself. I realize in hindsight that I should have let her be more independent so maybe she wouldn't have made so many mistakes (considering I think that my trying to control her made her rebel against anything I said). I'm glad that I have backed off of her. I don't harp on her like I did when we were teenagers, and I'm glad that she's doing relatively well for herself. We are good friends, I think, my younger sister and me. All three of us girls are pretty close, so I'm very thankful for that.
Anyway, it was just an interesting dream, what with the time warp back to a time when some things were better and some things were worse. But, I guess it helps me see that nostalgia has a time and place, but I live in the present. Hmm.. Have a lovely day.
I was back at my home in Illinois and YS and Ma were there, too. YS and I were being animous toward each other though, especially as we started to go outside to get into the "family" car in the driveway, which was like my old Jeep Cherokee (not Grand Cherokee, just Cherokee). I hurried up and ran to the driver's side so I could drive, but YS was screaming at me because she wanted to drive. I said, "Tough." So, I got behind the wheel and she got in the back seat to pout. Then, Ma (with all her faculties) came out and sat in the passenger's seat. I could tell YS was really mad, but for some reason, I didn't care. So, we set out, and all of a sudden, we were at a restaurant. YS, Ma, and I got a seat, but then, YS started getting snarky with me, and so she tackled me in the middle of this restaurant. We were rolling around on the floor screaming at each other and hitting each other and everything.
Then I woke up, probably out of shock because YS and I haven't fought in years, and there is nothing on my mind to be angry with her about. The other thing is that YS is not a fighter. She can't handle the tension. She will most times, try to smooth things over, or bury her own feelings so as to not "make waves." When we were younger, we used to argue a lot, but that's because I was always doing the "big sister" thing and trying to protect her from herself. I realize in hindsight that I should have let her be more independent so maybe she wouldn't have made so many mistakes (considering I think that my trying to control her made her rebel against anything I said). I'm glad that I have backed off of her. I don't harp on her like I did when we were teenagers, and I'm glad that she's doing relatively well for herself. We are good friends, I think, my younger sister and me. All three of us girls are pretty close, so I'm very thankful for that.
Anyway, it was just an interesting dream, what with the time warp back to a time when some things were better and some things were worse. But, I guess it helps me see that nostalgia has a time and place, but I live in the present. Hmm.. Have a lovely day.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Just when I thought I was done thinking about them..
Last night, I had a Restaurant dream. Or should I say nightmare. Oy veh. I don't know why I dreamt about them last night, but I did. Maybe it's because I've worked for money recently, and so my subconscious got hung back up at Restaurant. Here's the dream:
I was back there to work for a Friday night. However, my co-waitress was one who quit A LONG time ago due to the bosses ticking her off. Anyway, she was waiting tables with me because on Friday nights, there are two wait staff people on.
When I got to Restaurant, we were putting the salad bar together. That means that you go up to the walk-in cooler and scoop salads like marinated carrots, potato salad, cole salad, three bean salad, etc into these rectangle pans and then put them on the ice that fills the salad bar bottom. It's the waitresses job to do this. So, I was scooping out a pan of marinated carrots when the other waitress stopped helping me. So, I finished putting the salads into pans and then finally went out to the dining room where customers were already filling the place up! All of a sudden, the hostess was there, which was weird because wait staff gets there a good hour before everyone else in order to put the place together. But, the hostess was there, and it was weird because she also hasn't worked there for a really, really long time. She quit maybe 8 or 9 years ago.
So, I looked at the piece of paper that tells each waitress which tables are theirs. I had a bunch of tables, one being the "big" table toward the other end of the restaurant. It seats about 8 or 9 people. I also had "R4" which is bizarre, because Restaurant doesn't have an "R4" table. R3 is the last R table, and that's the 9 seater.
So, I went off to wait on the first tables I had because the big table was later down the list. But, I realized I had no idea what table R4 was. So, I had to turn around and ask the hostess which table it was. She told me that it was out in the bar room, where people generally WAIT to be seated. So, on my way out there, the people at my big table waved at me like, "Get your butt over here! We're ready to order!"
But, I had to go in order. So, I went to R4 and it was a 2 top that were regulars when I really was a waitress there. It was an old man and his son in law. They ordered their food and I forgot to ask the old man what he wanted to drink, so I went back and asked, but the son in law who only wanted water to drink was replaced by this woman who said, "I didn't want water! I wanted apple sauce!" So, I went to the kitchen right away, again forgetting to ask the old man what he wanted to drink. I told the female boss, who is also the main cook that I needed some apple sauce for this woman to drink. The boss was like, "WHAATTT! We don't serve apple sauce to drink!" But then, she started looking all around for it like she was going to accomodate this woman's request. And she TOOK FOREVER to look for it. She even put her hand in the tortellini that sit in the cooler, waiting to be heated for orders. All the while I'm thinking, "Hurry up! I have tables piling up on me out there!" So finally, the boss says, "We don't have any."
So, I went back into the dining room to get some decaf coffee made because the old man always drank decaf coffee. I figured that this way, at least one person wouldn't have to wait FOREVER to get their drink or be told we didn't have what they wanted. However, as I got to the coffee maker, I saw that it was broken. The other host who does still work there came out carrying this other coffeemaker and said, "I need to hook this up. The old one is broken."
Then, I went over to the table and said, "I never asked you what you wanted to drink." The old man said, "Water's fine with me." That made me think, "Dammit! I wasted more time!" So, I had more and more tables piling up on me, and the big table was back there being impatient. When I really worked at Restaurant, I hated waiting on that table because it was time consuming and I sucked at carrying lots of plates at once, considering Restaurant doesn't use big serving trays.
The dream didn't go on for much longer than that. But the basic gist of it was that I was super behind and couldn't catch up, and the female boss was being psychotic at me and taking forever and not being efficient, but was blaming that on me. So, I actually woke up, almost hyperventilating. It was not pleasant.
I guess maybe my brain is still processing out the experiences and baggage that I have from having worked there for so long and being treated like I was sometimes (although, many of the waitresses, hosts, salad bar keepers, bussers, and dishwashers were treated poorly, too, at times). It's actually kind of odd, because as I sit here thinking about the dream and about the reality that was Restaurant, my heart is racing a little. Crazy. Oy veh. Anyway, that is my dream, proudly brought to you by my imagination/subconscious, the letter "T," and my brand new laptop that got here Monday. Yeehaw. Have a great day.
I was back there to work for a Friday night. However, my co-waitress was one who quit A LONG time ago due to the bosses ticking her off. Anyway, she was waiting tables with me because on Friday nights, there are two wait staff people on.
When I got to Restaurant, we were putting the salad bar together. That means that you go up to the walk-in cooler and scoop salads like marinated carrots, potato salad, cole salad, three bean salad, etc into these rectangle pans and then put them on the ice that fills the salad bar bottom. It's the waitresses job to do this. So, I was scooping out a pan of marinated carrots when the other waitress stopped helping me. So, I finished putting the salads into pans and then finally went out to the dining room where customers were already filling the place up! All of a sudden, the hostess was there, which was weird because wait staff gets there a good hour before everyone else in order to put the place together. But, the hostess was there, and it was weird because she also hasn't worked there for a really, really long time. She quit maybe 8 or 9 years ago.
So, I looked at the piece of paper that tells each waitress which tables are theirs. I had a bunch of tables, one being the "big" table toward the other end of the restaurant. It seats about 8 or 9 people. I also had "R4" which is bizarre, because Restaurant doesn't have an "R4" table. R3 is the last R table, and that's the 9 seater.
So, I went off to wait on the first tables I had because the big table was later down the list. But, I realized I had no idea what table R4 was. So, I had to turn around and ask the hostess which table it was. She told me that it was out in the bar room, where people generally WAIT to be seated. So, on my way out there, the people at my big table waved at me like, "Get your butt over here! We're ready to order!"
But, I had to go in order. So, I went to R4 and it was a 2 top that were regulars when I really was a waitress there. It was an old man and his son in law. They ordered their food and I forgot to ask the old man what he wanted to drink, so I went back and asked, but the son in law who only wanted water to drink was replaced by this woman who said, "I didn't want water! I wanted apple sauce!" So, I went to the kitchen right away, again forgetting to ask the old man what he wanted to drink. I told the female boss, who is also the main cook that I needed some apple sauce for this woman to drink. The boss was like, "WHAATTT! We don't serve apple sauce to drink!" But then, she started looking all around for it like she was going to accomodate this woman's request. And she TOOK FOREVER to look for it. She even put her hand in the tortellini that sit in the cooler, waiting to be heated for orders. All the while I'm thinking, "Hurry up! I have tables piling up on me out there!" So finally, the boss says, "We don't have any."
So, I went back into the dining room to get some decaf coffee made because the old man always drank decaf coffee. I figured that this way, at least one person wouldn't have to wait FOREVER to get their drink or be told we didn't have what they wanted. However, as I got to the coffee maker, I saw that it was broken. The other host who does still work there came out carrying this other coffeemaker and said, "I need to hook this up. The old one is broken."
Then, I went over to the table and said, "I never asked you what you wanted to drink." The old man said, "Water's fine with me." That made me think, "Dammit! I wasted more time!" So, I had more and more tables piling up on me, and the big table was back there being impatient. When I really worked at Restaurant, I hated waiting on that table because it was time consuming and I sucked at carrying lots of plates at once, considering Restaurant doesn't use big serving trays.
The dream didn't go on for much longer than that. But the basic gist of it was that I was super behind and couldn't catch up, and the female boss was being psychotic at me and taking forever and not being efficient, but was blaming that on me. So, I actually woke up, almost hyperventilating. It was not pleasant.
I guess maybe my brain is still processing out the experiences and baggage that I have from having worked there for so long and being treated like I was sometimes (although, many of the waitresses, hosts, salad bar keepers, bussers, and dishwashers were treated poorly, too, at times). It's actually kind of odd, because as I sit here thinking about the dream and about the reality that was Restaurant, my heart is racing a little. Crazy. Oy veh. Anyway, that is my dream, proudly brought to you by my imagination/subconscious, the letter "T," and my brand new laptop that got here Monday. Yeehaw. Have a great day.
Monday, June 02, 2008
More Weird Dreams
Alright, last night/this morning, I had another really weird dream.
The dream was that the world was doomed, and "they" needed me to save it. But, the only way to save the world was for me to ride on the outside of this INCREDIBLY slowly moving old train with huge bicycle chains from some unknown place to Decatur, Illinois. But the thing is, I had to start at a specific time, and then be in Decatur in about and hour and a half. In all reality, that would be impossible because I got the idea that the starting place was from Seminary or at least home. But, I did it, and the world was saved. But as soon as I got done saving the world by riding on the slow train, I was taken to some church where they were having the funeral for one of my friends (who has been dead for almost 10 years). It was like her death was new. Her family asked me and a guy in my class at Seminary to do some readings for the funeral. Her family is and always has been friends with my family, so I could see why they'd ask me in the dream, but they probably have no idea who my friend is. But, we both agreed. Everyone was all crying and stuff, and my dead friend's grandma was at the funeral too, but she's been dead for probably about 8 years or so. So, it came time for me to go up to the lectern to read, and I just stood there while my Seminary friend read. Every couple of words, we would say the word together, but in the dream, I got the idea that this was how it was supposed to be. Then I woke up.
I don't really know what to think about all this dreaming. The chain thing could be because J and I went to a museum near a body of water that is near to us and we got to board a dredging ship. While walking around near the boats/ships and body of water, we saw a HUGE chain that looked like a bicycle chain on steroids. So, I don't know where the train came in, but that could be where I got the chain. And the dream about the funeral could be because some friends and I went to a park with flowers and memorial gardens and stuff yesterday and there are big granite benches with sayings on them. That makes me think of cemeteries because my dad's tombstone is a bench that has his name, my mom's name, and a child's name they lost on the top and dates of birth (and death for those who are dead). There is some other "life" information on the tombstone, too. So, I'm thinking that garden made me think of funerals. However, I haven't dreamt about my dead friend in a couple of years. So, it was just kind of weird. I don't know. I was at the cemetery recently (What with Memorial Day and all) and I drove past my friend's grave, so maybe that was stuck in my brain.
I don't know why I wasn't reading the whole reading at the funeral in my dream though. My friend who was reading while I stood up there is a nice guy. He's only ticked me off once, and it wasn't a big thing. I'm wondering if my mind is saying, "Stop letting people put words in your mouth/speak for you when you have your own things to say." I don't know.
Anyway, the dream really wasn't upsetting. It just has my noggin going is all. Interesting stuff... Ha. I need to go though. Peace out, y'all.
The dream was that the world was doomed, and "they" needed me to save it. But, the only way to save the world was for me to ride on the outside of this INCREDIBLY slowly moving old train with huge bicycle chains from some unknown place to Decatur, Illinois. But the thing is, I had to start at a specific time, and then be in Decatur in about and hour and a half. In all reality, that would be impossible because I got the idea that the starting place was from Seminary or at least home. But, I did it, and the world was saved. But as soon as I got done saving the world by riding on the slow train, I was taken to some church where they were having the funeral for one of my friends (who has been dead for almost 10 years). It was like her death was new. Her family asked me and a guy in my class at Seminary to do some readings for the funeral. Her family is and always has been friends with my family, so I could see why they'd ask me in the dream, but they probably have no idea who my friend is. But, we both agreed. Everyone was all crying and stuff, and my dead friend's grandma was at the funeral too, but she's been dead for probably about 8 years or so. So, it came time for me to go up to the lectern to read, and I just stood there while my Seminary friend read. Every couple of words, we would say the word together, but in the dream, I got the idea that this was how it was supposed to be. Then I woke up.
I don't really know what to think about all this dreaming. The chain thing could be because J and I went to a museum near a body of water that is near to us and we got to board a dredging ship. While walking around near the boats/ships and body of water, we saw a HUGE chain that looked like a bicycle chain on steroids. So, I don't know where the train came in, but that could be where I got the chain. And the dream about the funeral could be because some friends and I went to a park with flowers and memorial gardens and stuff yesterday and there are big granite benches with sayings on them. That makes me think of cemeteries because my dad's tombstone is a bench that has his name, my mom's name, and a child's name they lost on the top and dates of birth (and death for those who are dead). There is some other "life" information on the tombstone, too. So, I'm thinking that garden made me think of funerals. However, I haven't dreamt about my dead friend in a couple of years. So, it was just kind of weird. I don't know. I was at the cemetery recently (What with Memorial Day and all) and I drove past my friend's grave, so maybe that was stuck in my brain.
I don't know why I wasn't reading the whole reading at the funeral in my dream though. My friend who was reading while I stood up there is a nice guy. He's only ticked me off once, and it wasn't a big thing. I'm wondering if my mind is saying, "Stop letting people put words in your mouth/speak for you when you have your own things to say." I don't know.
Anyway, the dream really wasn't upsetting. It just has my noggin going is all. Interesting stuff... Ha. I need to go though. Peace out, y'all.
Friday, May 30, 2008
This is what I get after watching Stand-Ups on T.V. late at night...
So, I was watching some stand up comics on t.v. last night right before I went to bed. Well, I was watching them, and the news because a whole bunch of severe weather was rolling across the area last night. And it looked like it was heading for us, so I wanted to be aware of the situation. I even put some socks on so if the sirens went off, I wouldn't have to spend time doing that before heading to the basement. It's important to be ready because I live on the top floor. I wanted socks in the really off chance the building crumpled around me and I would have had to walk around. Who wants to do that barefoot? Not I. Anyway, I digress...
So, I was watching some comics on t.v. and none of them were all that funny, but I wanted to laugh anyway, so I gave them the opportunity to make me laugh. I did laugh, but none of them had me rolling. Oh well. Anyway, one of them talked about Canada and the Canadian Mounted Police for just a snippet. He made some joke about how they don't support/help the U.S. in the war in Iraq, and how people say, "Oh, put away the tanks; they've brought their horses!"
I watched one more comic, and then I went to sleep because the storm was dying down. Then, I had this crazy dream that Canada attacked the United States. We had no idea they were going to do it, but they did. They caught us totally offguard. And they were all around where I was and they were making my life miserable, it seemed, by tracking me down! I was at the mall, and these Canadian Mounties were trying to find me. So, there was this old lady grandma who was with them (she was Canadian), and I went up to her when she was alone and I took her hand and started singing "Kumbaya." She wasn't a fan of the war like I wasn't a fan of the war. So anyway, I went away and hid behind this wall and the Mounties came and found her again. Then, they went someplace else and I went to find the grandma lady again. I found her and went up to her again, but it was a trick! The Mounties closed in on me and I looked at the grandma and we started singing "Kumbaya" again, but they weren't having any of it. All of a sudden, I was in a forest with a guy who just graduated seminary. We were assigned to chop down a really thick tree with manual tools (no chain saws for us!). So, he was chopping at the tree really high, which I thought was weird because you're supposed to chop close to the bottom. He had one of those bigger bow saws and I had a hatchet. Since he was cutting parallel to the ground, and because I didn't have a ladder or anything, I really had to reach to chop in the same places he was sawing. And then I woke up.
The dream was incredibly bizarre, but I totally see why I had it. My late night t.v. viewing put the Canadian Mounted Police idea into my head, and I also did some yard work at Sis and BiL's when I was there early this week. So, all that was ruminating around a bit. And since I'd not posted on a dream in a while, I thought I would share. I hope you were at least mildly entertained.
So, I was watching some comics on t.v. and none of them were all that funny, but I wanted to laugh anyway, so I gave them the opportunity to make me laugh. I did laugh, but none of them had me rolling. Oh well. Anyway, one of them talked about Canada and the Canadian Mounted Police for just a snippet. He made some joke about how they don't support/help the U.S. in the war in Iraq, and how people say, "Oh, put away the tanks; they've brought their horses!"
I watched one more comic, and then I went to sleep because the storm was dying down. Then, I had this crazy dream that Canada attacked the United States. We had no idea they were going to do it, but they did. They caught us totally offguard. And they were all around where I was and they were making my life miserable, it seemed, by tracking me down! I was at the mall, and these Canadian Mounties were trying to find me. So, there was this old lady grandma who was with them (she was Canadian), and I went up to her when she was alone and I took her hand and started singing "Kumbaya." She wasn't a fan of the war like I wasn't a fan of the war. So anyway, I went away and hid behind this wall and the Mounties came and found her again. Then, they went someplace else and I went to find the grandma lady again. I found her and went up to her again, but it was a trick! The Mounties closed in on me and I looked at the grandma and we started singing "Kumbaya" again, but they weren't having any of it. All of a sudden, I was in a forest with a guy who just graduated seminary. We were assigned to chop down a really thick tree with manual tools (no chain saws for us!). So, he was chopping at the tree really high, which I thought was weird because you're supposed to chop close to the bottom. He had one of those bigger bow saws and I had a hatchet. Since he was cutting parallel to the ground, and because I didn't have a ladder or anything, I really had to reach to chop in the same places he was sawing. And then I woke up.
The dream was incredibly bizarre, but I totally see why I had it. My late night t.v. viewing put the Canadian Mounted Police idea into my head, and I also did some yard work at Sis and BiL's when I was there early this week. So, all that was ruminating around a bit. And since I'd not posted on a dream in a while, I thought I would share. I hope you were at least mildly entertained.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
My Subconscious.
I have been dreaming a lot in the past couple of days. Yesterday, I took an afternoon nap, and this is the dream I had:
These two boys who were walking to school. One says to the other, "So you told your Mom that your brother put your PB Sandwiches in boiling water, huh?" and the other kid said, "Yes I did. But, he didn't really do that, and so with a little call to the Post Office, I get to have them for lunch. Now watch this!" And then they were going back to his house and the garage door started opening, but a HUGE paper sack (like the kind restaurant french fries come in) broke through the garage door, and there were a bunch of smaller paper sacks and huge foil wrapped baked potatoes there too. The boys stood there all open-mouthed as the big sack started to wiggle. The boys were saying, "Favorite foods!" in horror because they realized that they were in deep trouble for opening the garage door, thus causing it to break, for lying, and for not being at school. So then, the wiggling sack broke open with the brother popping out saying, "Favorite foods, candy, and teenage girls; all ready to see you be a nerd!" Then, a friend knocked and woke me up. Weird, I know. ha.
Then, last night, I had a dream with one of my seminarymates whom we shall call "Jim." I was at my childhood home, sitting on our OLD OLD couch on the front porch (the couch has been gone for several years). Jim came inside my house and was talking to me about this book that he wrote. He was going to give me an autographed copy, but he had to go talk to one of our professors first. While he was there, my Mom was there, also. She was talking to me about going to see Christmas lights. She said, "I think I'm going to go look at Christmas lights." I told her, "But it's light outside. You won't be able to see them." And really, I was just trying to get her to not go because I knew she was not supposed to drive. So, she just kept saying, "I know, but I want to go see them." And I kept saying, "But it's light outside. You won't be able to. How about we wait til tonight and I will go with you?" And she said okay, and I took her car keys and put them on my own keychain. About that time, I woke up.
That dream was weird, but not in the "Twilight Zone" sense because the exchange between my mom and I was relatively true to life. When I still lived at home with her, I tried to tactfully get her to see some reason so she would not go do certain things. Then, after I left and the sibs took away her car keys for safety reasons, they would try to reason with her. And the dream was just bizarre, and somewhat disturbing. But, I don't know why it's disturbing. Maybe just because I hate dementia SO DAMNED MUCH that I could puke, and it ticks me off that it's invading my dreams now. I don't know. I've had Ma on my mind for a while now because she's not doing well, but we have no "official" word on diagnosis of something possibly/probably new. It's just a troubling thing to watch someone who cared for me so much, and who I love dearly, spiral down into complete and utter confusion, what is probably much like a dream all the time. Not quite understanding everything, but unable to make heads or tails of it. Oy.
These two boys who were walking to school. One says to the other, "So you told your Mom that your brother put your PB Sandwiches in boiling water, huh?" and the other kid said, "Yes I did. But, he didn't really do that, and so with a little call to the Post Office, I get to have them for lunch. Now watch this!" And then they were going back to his house and the garage door started opening, but a HUGE paper sack (like the kind restaurant french fries come in) broke through the garage door, and there were a bunch of smaller paper sacks and huge foil wrapped baked potatoes there too. The boys stood there all open-mouthed as the big sack started to wiggle. The boys were saying, "Favorite foods!" in horror because they realized that they were in deep trouble for opening the garage door, thus causing it to break, for lying, and for not being at school. So then, the wiggling sack broke open with the brother popping out saying, "Favorite foods, candy, and teenage girls; all ready to see you be a nerd!" Then, a friend knocked and woke me up. Weird, I know. ha.
Then, last night, I had a dream with one of my seminarymates whom we shall call "Jim." I was at my childhood home, sitting on our OLD OLD couch on the front porch (the couch has been gone for several years). Jim came inside my house and was talking to me about this book that he wrote. He was going to give me an autographed copy, but he had to go talk to one of our professors first. While he was there, my Mom was there, also. She was talking to me about going to see Christmas lights. She said, "I think I'm going to go look at Christmas lights." I told her, "But it's light outside. You won't be able to see them." And really, I was just trying to get her to not go because I knew she was not supposed to drive. So, she just kept saying, "I know, but I want to go see them." And I kept saying, "But it's light outside. You won't be able to. How about we wait til tonight and I will go with you?" And she said okay, and I took her car keys and put them on my own keychain. About that time, I woke up.
That dream was weird, but not in the "Twilight Zone" sense because the exchange between my mom and I was relatively true to life. When I still lived at home with her, I tried to tactfully get her to see some reason so she would not go do certain things. Then, after I left and the sibs took away her car keys for safety reasons, they would try to reason with her. And the dream was just bizarre, and somewhat disturbing. But, I don't know why it's disturbing. Maybe just because I hate dementia SO DAMNED MUCH that I could puke, and it ticks me off that it's invading my dreams now. I don't know. I've had Ma on my mind for a while now because she's not doing well, but we have no "official" word on diagnosis of something possibly/probably new. It's just a troubling thing to watch someone who cared for me so much, and who I love dearly, spiral down into complete and utter confusion, what is probably much like a dream all the time. Not quite understanding everything, but unable to make heads or tails of it. Oy.
Monday, November 26, 2007
Back from...Vacation?
Well, I got back from "home" last night around 6:30 or so. I carted all my stuff up to my room last night, checked my email and facebook, and laid down to have some "quiet time." However, I fell promptly asleep! That was around 8:00 p.m. I woke up at 8:30 because I was snoring. That was weird, because I'm not a snorer, but I was last night. So, I got up, put my pjs on, did a quick run thru of bedtime procedure, and laid back down. I slept til 8:00 this morning, and even then, I took about a half hour nap after chapel (I didn't have discussion group at that time, so I was free). I was so tired. While I was "home," I didn't sleep that well, and last week was fairly overwhelming anyway. I had about 4 Seminary dreams, with the most recent one last night. It involved a test done on a steeple on sight at the seminary (We don't have a steeple) and a classmate with a SEVERELY bloody nose. It was gross, but kinda funny at the same time.
Last Wednesday, I was at my home church for Thanksgiving Eve worship. After it was over, I was chatting with Pastor and his wife for a little while, ironing out details for Sunday because they were going to be gone and I was set to lead worship. So, after we were done chatting, I went out, got in Neno, and turned the key, but it wouldn't start. I thought, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?" Last time my car broke down, it was at the coke shop in the same town. I had to call Pastor that day to see if he could come help me. Well, Wednesday was no different. He tried jump starting my car, but that wasn't the problem. He drove me about 12 miles to a place where Sis could pick me up. I felt bad because it wasn't a nice night outside and everytime my car breaks, he ends up having to help me. Oy veh.
Anyway, Sis came and got me, and I felt bad for dragging her out of the house on a cold, rainy evening. So, after we got home, we talked a while and did some minor prep for Thanksgiving. But, she was tired and went to bed. I, on the other hand, wanting to make up for dragging Sis away, stayed up and cleaned the house like a mad woman.
The next day was Thanksgiving, so I couldn't call my mechanic (a real nice guy I actually TRUST with my car. He is very reasonable and an all around great dude). So, I enjoyed Thanksgiving with Sis, BiL, and BiL's family. None of my family members were there (My other sibs had other things to do, and the nursing home people suggest not taking loved ones home because there are often issues in getting them back to the home). I love BiL's family; I just missed celebrating with my own. Oh well. It was better than the years I got left at home all alone on Thanksgiving and Christmas.
So, the next day was Friday. I called the mechanic early and got his wife. He called later and said he'd go have a gander. BiL let me borrow his van to take my car keys to the mechanic, and so I also went and visited Grandma! She lives at a nursing home in ChurchTown. Granny is 94 years old, is very forgetful, but she is still Grandma. She throws out one-liners all the time and she's just wonderful. I love her so much. She was happy to see me and I was so glad I got to see her. After I had visited for a while, I left. The mechanic called and said we needed to get my car from ChurchTown to MechanicTown (about 15 miles away). So, I had to have it towed. Thankfully, there is a towing place in ChurchTown that is incredibly reasonable. Plus, I think I have some sort of towing insurance, so I'll be turning that in. Mechanic said the problem was the fuel pump. When I drove a Jeep, I had to have that part replaced once and it cost me 19 dollars. This time, including the part, labor, and towing, it cost me about 600 dollars. Yikes. Oh well.
When Sunday rolled around, I had my car back, so thankfully I had no troubles getting to Church and Pastor's "other" church so I could lead worship/preach. For some reason, I was having difficulties with the text for Sunday, and was not at all happy with what I sent Pastor. He replied with some suggestions and comments earlier in the week. It was funny because we chatted a little bit about it on Wednesday and he said he was hoping he didn't sound too critical. I told him that he wasn't, and that I knew what I sent him was less than stellar, so that made him feel better. He seemed kind of surprised that I could tell it was not a good message, but he also seemed grateful because he was afraid that I thought this was "the best one yet!" I said that definitely was NOT the case, and so I reworked it that same day, and he said the revision was much more my style. The last time I preached on Christ the King Sunday was much easier to do though. That was the message I posted here on my blog. "Humpty Dumpty..." Remember?
Anyway... Sunday went pretty well, except when I got into the car after the first service so I could go to the other church, I saw that I had a voicemail. It was Oldest Brother telling me that Grandma was in the hospital and she might die. I called him back and asked what hospital she was in, and made plans to go there when I was done with leading worship. When I got there, she was looking good. I talked with her aide and she said Grandma was doing quite well and was throwing out little one liner jokes and being Grandma. That's the neat thing; even though Grandma is incredibily forgetful and doesn't always know who we are, she is still herself. And really, I think she's better mentally than Ma. It's weird. I don't think Grandma is going to die anytime soon. Although I'm very grateful that she was at the hospital because she had a cardiac episode where her BP was something like 200/100. If she hadn't been there, it could've been lights out. I'm trying to be realistic, considering Granny is 94 years old, but she looks really good, and so I'm going to be optimistic.
Anyway, that was my week/weekend in a nutshell. I had a good time with the nephews and just being at home, but I'm glad to be back at the Castle. I wish I would have had time to see Mom, but the place she is at is far away and with all that happened, I just couldn't make it over there. YS went on Thanksgiving, so that was good. I will get to see her hopefully sooner than later, but life happens. Anyway, I'm going to do some work and go to bed. I'm still so tired. Have a good day.
Last Wednesday, I was at my home church for Thanksgiving Eve worship. After it was over, I was chatting with Pastor and his wife for a little while, ironing out details for Sunday because they were going to be gone and I was set to lead worship. So, after we were done chatting, I went out, got in Neno, and turned the key, but it wouldn't start. I thought, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?" Last time my car broke down, it was at the coke shop in the same town. I had to call Pastor that day to see if he could come help me. Well, Wednesday was no different. He tried jump starting my car, but that wasn't the problem. He drove me about 12 miles to a place where Sis could pick me up. I felt bad because it wasn't a nice night outside and everytime my car breaks, he ends up having to help me. Oy veh.
Anyway, Sis came and got me, and I felt bad for dragging her out of the house on a cold, rainy evening. So, after we got home, we talked a while and did some minor prep for Thanksgiving. But, she was tired and went to bed. I, on the other hand, wanting to make up for dragging Sis away, stayed up and cleaned the house like a mad woman.
The next day was Thanksgiving, so I couldn't call my mechanic (a real nice guy I actually TRUST with my car. He is very reasonable and an all around great dude). So, I enjoyed Thanksgiving with Sis, BiL, and BiL's family. None of my family members were there (My other sibs had other things to do, and the nursing home people suggest not taking loved ones home because there are often issues in getting them back to the home). I love BiL's family; I just missed celebrating with my own. Oh well. It was better than the years I got left at home all alone on Thanksgiving and Christmas.
So, the next day was Friday. I called the mechanic early and got his wife. He called later and said he'd go have a gander. BiL let me borrow his van to take my car keys to the mechanic, and so I also went and visited Grandma! She lives at a nursing home in ChurchTown. Granny is 94 years old, is very forgetful, but she is still Grandma. She throws out one-liners all the time and she's just wonderful. I love her so much. She was happy to see me and I was so glad I got to see her. After I had visited for a while, I left. The mechanic called and said we needed to get my car from ChurchTown to MechanicTown (about 15 miles away). So, I had to have it towed. Thankfully, there is a towing place in ChurchTown that is incredibly reasonable. Plus, I think I have some sort of towing insurance, so I'll be turning that in. Mechanic said the problem was the fuel pump. When I drove a Jeep, I had to have that part replaced once and it cost me 19 dollars. This time, including the part, labor, and towing, it cost me about 600 dollars. Yikes. Oh well.
When Sunday rolled around, I had my car back, so thankfully I had no troubles getting to Church and Pastor's "other" church so I could lead worship/preach. For some reason, I was having difficulties with the text for Sunday, and was not at all happy with what I sent Pastor. He replied with some suggestions and comments earlier in the week. It was funny because we chatted a little bit about it on Wednesday and he said he was hoping he didn't sound too critical. I told him that he wasn't, and that I knew what I sent him was less than stellar, so that made him feel better. He seemed kind of surprised that I could tell it was not a good message, but he also seemed grateful because he was afraid that I thought this was "the best one yet!" I said that definitely was NOT the case, and so I reworked it that same day, and he said the revision was much more my style. The last time I preached on Christ the King Sunday was much easier to do though. That was the message I posted here on my blog. "Humpty Dumpty..." Remember?
Anyway... Sunday went pretty well, except when I got into the car after the first service so I could go to the other church, I saw that I had a voicemail. It was Oldest Brother telling me that Grandma was in the hospital and she might die. I called him back and asked what hospital she was in, and made plans to go there when I was done with leading worship. When I got there, she was looking good. I talked with her aide and she said Grandma was doing quite well and was throwing out little one liner jokes and being Grandma. That's the neat thing; even though Grandma is incredibily forgetful and doesn't always know who we are, she is still herself. And really, I think she's better mentally than Ma. It's weird. I don't think Grandma is going to die anytime soon. Although I'm very grateful that she was at the hospital because she had a cardiac episode where her BP was something like 200/100. If she hadn't been there, it could've been lights out. I'm trying to be realistic, considering Granny is 94 years old, but she looks really good, and so I'm going to be optimistic.
Anyway, that was my week/weekend in a nutshell. I had a good time with the nephews and just being at home, but I'm glad to be back at the Castle. I wish I would have had time to see Mom, but the place she is at is far away and with all that happened, I just couldn't make it over there. YS went on Thanksgiving, so that was good. I will get to see her hopefully sooner than later, but life happens. Anyway, I'm going to do some work and go to bed. I'm still so tired. Have a good day.
Friday, November 23, 2007
A Crazy Dream!
I had a crazy dream last night, probably because I went to bed at 4:00 a.m. When I mess with my schedule like that, weird things are bound to happen! Ha. I'm posting the dream because it was about the Mothership!
A couple of my friends from the Castle and I were stealing change from the vending machines. But, then my pastor came to my room and he was going through all my stuff and he said, "Where did all this change come from?" And I said, "I have no idea what you're talking about!" So, he left and suddenly my friends and I were in my childhood home's living room. ST, AZ, LT, and some other people who didn't LOOK like my seminary pals, but really were, were there. I said, "If we get caught, we're going to be expelled!" The friends were like, "We're not going to get caught so long as you keep your mouth shut!" So then, we went across the street to a place that had changed signs/ownership about 3 times in the course of the dream. When we went in, it had a "cubs" sign on it. And then I woke up. It was bizarre.
I just had a thought... The other night, I went to Thanksgiving Eve worship on Wednesday, and after it, I was talking with Pastor. We were ironing out some of the details for Sunday because he's gone and I'm leading worship. Anyway, so then, I went out to my car to go back to Sis and BiL's house, but the car would not start. Pastor tried jump starting my vehicle, but that was not the problem. So, I called Sis and she said she'd come get me. Pastor took me partway so Sis wouldn't have to come ALL the way to Church town. So, Pastor and I were talking and then Sis came. So, I probably just had him in my mind because of that.
The whole issue of the coins is what is interesting to me. It was all change. At first, I thought that perhaps I was dreaming about change because I was watching the Law and Order marathon last night and some guy was stealing quarters out of the newspaper boxes. But, the whole fact that THE CHANGE was coupled with some of my NEW friends and I being transported suddenly to my OLD house, has me thinking maybe otherwise. Who knows, maybe I'm overanalyzing it and I really did just have the dream because I was watching L&O until 4 a.m. It just was something I thought was worth noting.
Oh, and in case you're wondering, my car's issue is a bad fuel pump. Bummer. My mechanic is going to try to have it back up and running by Sunday so I can go back to the Mothership. I need to find my towing voucher from my insurance so it won't be so expensive. Ugh. At least every time my car has broken down in the past few months, it's done it near "home!" I would feel lots worse about it if it happened at SeminaryTown. And seeing as I'm up there more often than not, it's kind of interesting that it's only ever broken down near "home." Cool.
And one last point of interest that I'm sure no one really cares about but me! BiL said he was going to make MY FAVORITE MEAL tonight! I'm super excited! Roast (medium rare done in the oven), mashed taters, and dark gravy! Oh, and asparagus. yay! I've had a hankering for about two months! Ha. Later, y'all.
A couple of my friends from the Castle and I were stealing change from the vending machines. But, then my pastor came to my room and he was going through all my stuff and he said, "Where did all this change come from?" And I said, "I have no idea what you're talking about!" So, he left and suddenly my friends and I were in my childhood home's living room. ST, AZ, LT, and some other people who didn't LOOK like my seminary pals, but really were, were there. I said, "If we get caught, we're going to be expelled!" The friends were like, "We're not going to get caught so long as you keep your mouth shut!" So then, we went across the street to a place that had changed signs/ownership about 3 times in the course of the dream. When we went in, it had a "cubs" sign on it. And then I woke up. It was bizarre.
I just had a thought... The other night, I went to Thanksgiving Eve worship on Wednesday, and after it, I was talking with Pastor. We were ironing out some of the details for Sunday because he's gone and I'm leading worship. Anyway, so then, I went out to my car to go back to Sis and BiL's house, but the car would not start. Pastor tried jump starting my vehicle, but that was not the problem. So, I called Sis and she said she'd come get me. Pastor took me partway so Sis wouldn't have to come ALL the way to Church town. So, Pastor and I were talking and then Sis came. So, I probably just had him in my mind because of that.
The whole issue of the coins is what is interesting to me. It was all change. At first, I thought that perhaps I was dreaming about change because I was watching the Law and Order marathon last night and some guy was stealing quarters out of the newspaper boxes. But, the whole fact that THE CHANGE was coupled with some of my NEW friends and I being transported suddenly to my OLD house, has me thinking maybe otherwise. Who knows, maybe I'm overanalyzing it and I really did just have the dream because I was watching L&O until 4 a.m. It just was something I thought was worth noting.
Oh, and in case you're wondering, my car's issue is a bad fuel pump. Bummer. My mechanic is going to try to have it back up and running by Sunday so I can go back to the Mothership. I need to find my towing voucher from my insurance so it won't be so expensive. Ugh. At least every time my car has broken down in the past few months, it's done it near "home!" I would feel lots worse about it if it happened at SeminaryTown. And seeing as I'm up there more often than not, it's kind of interesting that it's only ever broken down near "home." Cool.
And one last point of interest that I'm sure no one really cares about but me! BiL said he was going to make MY FAVORITE MEAL tonight! I'm super excited! Roast (medium rare done in the oven), mashed taters, and dark gravy! Oh, and asparagus. yay! I've had a hankering for about two months! Ha. Later, y'all.
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Randomness (as if there is much of anything else!)
Hola. Happy Sunday.
Today I am thinking about "church homes." When I was a little girl, my sisters and I didn't go to church, per se. We did, however, go across the street to the Christian Church and do Sunday School. It was a time where we sang kid hymns and had fun. Then, we would all go to our classrooms and have a lesson or something. It was fun. Then, Mom decided when I was 13, that it was time to return to her Lutheran roots. She had been confirmed in the Lutheran Church in the next town over. I think a lot of things prompted her return to the Church. Our father, her husband of 38 years, had died the year previous. She had had a heart attack herself, 6 months after he died, and I was diagnosed with some endocrine things. The way she broached the subject with us, though, was by saying, "I've heard there is a new pastor over at LutheranChurch, and from what I hear, he's really good. We're going to start going." That was about the week before Lent started in 1996. YS and I kind of looked at each other and were like, "Is she serious?"
We liked the ease of the Christian Church, and were not thrilled about going to some new place that we'd only been about two or three times in our life.
That first Wednesday in Lent rolled around, and we went to the service. I honestly don't remember much at all about it, except that it was different from what I was used to, and that Ma made us put dresses on. (I HATE WEARING DRESSES!).
After we got home from that Lenten service, Ma said, "We're going to go on Sunday, too." YS and I were thinking, "Are you kidding me?" But, we started going. And every Saturday night we would ask Ma, "Do we have to go to church in the morning?" And every Saturday night, Ma would say, "Yes. We're going to church in the morning." This went on for probably about six months until she said, "Yes, we're going to church in the morning. Stop asking." So, whatever. The pastor was really nice to us. We just missed our friends and messing around at Sunday School.
I don't really know at what point I actually started LIKING church. I remember once when Ma was away on a weekend and I wanted to go, even though she wasn't there to make us. YS didn't though, so I think she won out. However, I have been to church by myself many times henceforth.
And here I am, at a Lutheran seminary, preparing to become a leader of the Church myself. It's kind of bizarre, this twist in my life that has helped lead me here. YS still doesn't like church, but she is a baptized and confirmed member. Sis also was baptized and confirmed as an adult because she saw YS and I doing it. And she has since had her own children baptized. That makes me thrilled, to say the least.
So, back to "church homes." My home church has been a place of tremendous growth and support for me. The nurturing they have shown is amazing, and I am incredibly thankful for their feedback and caring. So, when I came here, one of the most difficult things has been finding a place to worship that feels "right." The places here in town that I have been to are nice, but for me, there is just something missing. I had a dream one night that I found a place, and I immediately KNEW it was right. Well, a bunch of friends and I went out of town a few weeks ago to worship at a place. When we got out of there and piled back into the car, we all were babbling with excitement because this was "right" for all of us! It's so exciting. We didn't go last week because there was Sunday worship on campus, but this week, I went back and took another friend because the pals I went with last time have already gone for Thanksgiving. I still really liked it. The people are warm and inviting, and they actually WELCOMED AND SPOKE with us! It was so AWESOME!
I'm a little excited; can you tell?! I just hope that when the snow starts a-flyin' that we will continue to be able to go there. It's a great congregation with a new pastor (A recent graduate of the mothership). They still use the LBW (nothing against the ELW, I just have a special fondness for the old green hymnal).
So, even though my church home will always be my church home, it's nice to have a place that fits while I'm here; a place that feels authentic and warm, almost like a fleece blanket. While I'm sure that many people are fed and are happy with the churches in town, I am so thankful for another place where I feel a part of the family again. It's nice. Thanks be to God!
Today I am thinking about "church homes." When I was a little girl, my sisters and I didn't go to church, per se. We did, however, go across the street to the Christian Church and do Sunday School. It was a time where we sang kid hymns and had fun. Then, we would all go to our classrooms and have a lesson or something. It was fun. Then, Mom decided when I was 13, that it was time to return to her Lutheran roots. She had been confirmed in the Lutheran Church in the next town over. I think a lot of things prompted her return to the Church. Our father, her husband of 38 years, had died the year previous. She had had a heart attack herself, 6 months after he died, and I was diagnosed with some endocrine things. The way she broached the subject with us, though, was by saying, "I've heard there is a new pastor over at LutheranChurch, and from what I hear, he's really good. We're going to start going." That was about the week before Lent started in 1996. YS and I kind of looked at each other and were like, "Is she serious?"
We liked the ease of the Christian Church, and were not thrilled about going to some new place that we'd only been about two or three times in our life.
That first Wednesday in Lent rolled around, and we went to the service. I honestly don't remember much at all about it, except that it was different from what I was used to, and that Ma made us put dresses on. (I HATE WEARING DRESSES!).
After we got home from that Lenten service, Ma said, "We're going to go on Sunday, too." YS and I were thinking, "Are you kidding me?" But, we started going. And every Saturday night we would ask Ma, "Do we have to go to church in the morning?" And every Saturday night, Ma would say, "Yes. We're going to church in the morning." This went on for probably about six months until she said, "Yes, we're going to church in the morning. Stop asking." So, whatever. The pastor was really nice to us. We just missed our friends and messing around at Sunday School.
I don't really know at what point I actually started LIKING church. I remember once when Ma was away on a weekend and I wanted to go, even though she wasn't there to make us. YS didn't though, so I think she won out. However, I have been to church by myself many times henceforth.
And here I am, at a Lutheran seminary, preparing to become a leader of the Church myself. It's kind of bizarre, this twist in my life that has helped lead me here. YS still doesn't like church, but she is a baptized and confirmed member. Sis also was baptized and confirmed as an adult because she saw YS and I doing it. And she has since had her own children baptized. That makes me thrilled, to say the least.
So, back to "church homes." My home church has been a place of tremendous growth and support for me. The nurturing they have shown is amazing, and I am incredibly thankful for their feedback and caring. So, when I came here, one of the most difficult things has been finding a place to worship that feels "right." The places here in town that I have been to are nice, but for me, there is just something missing. I had a dream one night that I found a place, and I immediately KNEW it was right. Well, a bunch of friends and I went out of town a few weeks ago to worship at a place. When we got out of there and piled back into the car, we all were babbling with excitement because this was "right" for all of us! It's so exciting. We didn't go last week because there was Sunday worship on campus, but this week, I went back and took another friend because the pals I went with last time have already gone for Thanksgiving. I still really liked it. The people are warm and inviting, and they actually WELCOMED AND SPOKE with us! It was so AWESOME!
I'm a little excited; can you tell?! I just hope that when the snow starts a-flyin' that we will continue to be able to go there. It's a great congregation with a new pastor (A recent graduate of the mothership). They still use the LBW (nothing against the ELW, I just have a special fondness for the old green hymnal).
So, even though my church home will always be my church home, it's nice to have a place that fits while I'm here; a place that feels authentic and warm, almost like a fleece blanket. While I'm sure that many people are fed and are happy with the churches in town, I am so thankful for another place where I feel a part of the family again. It's nice. Thanks be to God!
Monday, November 05, 2007
A Weird Dream
I haven't written about any dreams I've had lately. I am not feeling very well today, and so I took a nap this afternoon after my classes were over. It seems I always have weird dreams when I am ill, and today was no exception. Here's the dream:
In the dream, I was not me. I don't even know if "my person" was in the dream. My older brother, the younger (My cool brother) was in the dream and so was "his wife." Although, Bro didn't look like himself, and Bro's wife didn't look like herself. Anyway, we were all having some crisis or something and Bro's wife took him to the desert (in the dream, we were native american or something) and showed him these poles with signs nailed to them. Bro said, "What's the point of this? I'm from Indiana (not true, except some relatives on my dad's side live in Indiana). She said, "Look at the signs! These are people from Grant, Indiana! These ARE your people. You are not alone! There is history here." And Bro was all like, "Wow. You are So right. I have relatives that were out here before me and I'm connected."
And then, their son was being babysat by me and Sis, but Sis was no where around and I was being very irresponsible because I had drawn a bath for him, or maybe Sis drew the bath, but no one was with him, because we were watching Bro and his wife at the poles, although they couldn't see us because we weren't really in bodily presence. Anyway, so we get to their son who is sitting in a very fully bathtub all by himself (He is 4). And he was just sitting there, acting very well. And my grandma was there too. She was kind of watching him, and she was able to remember and she was acting like the matriarch of the family. (BTW, she'll be 94 on Wednesday! Happy Birthday Gram!) and there was a patch of vegetables growing nearby, but they weren't attached to any plants. Instead, they were vegetables like what is in tater tot hot dish (what was served for lunch today; I didn't eat it. I don't like all those vegetables mixin' with my taters). And Bro and his wife came back and we set up camp in the desert there, and watched their son sitting in the very full bathtub. And then I woke up.
It was very bizarre and had a very native-american-y feel to it. Maybe it's because Oldest Brother's wife is a native american (she has lived on a reservation, even). She "left" for a while and I thought they were going to get divorced, but YS called yesterday to say that she is coming back. So, no divorce.
Anyway, so that was my dream, and a little bit of background info on why I may have had a little bit of the slant that was in there. Hasta, yo.
In the dream, I was not me. I don't even know if "my person" was in the dream. My older brother, the younger (My cool brother) was in the dream and so was "his wife." Although, Bro didn't look like himself, and Bro's wife didn't look like herself. Anyway, we were all having some crisis or something and Bro's wife took him to the desert (in the dream, we were native american or something) and showed him these poles with signs nailed to them. Bro said, "What's the point of this? I'm from Indiana (not true, except some relatives on my dad's side live in Indiana). She said, "Look at the signs! These are people from Grant, Indiana! These ARE your people. You are not alone! There is history here." And Bro was all like, "Wow. You are So right. I have relatives that were out here before me and I'm connected."
And then, their son was being babysat by me and Sis, but Sis was no where around and I was being very irresponsible because I had drawn a bath for him, or maybe Sis drew the bath, but no one was with him, because we were watching Bro and his wife at the poles, although they couldn't see us because we weren't really in bodily presence. Anyway, so we get to their son who is sitting in a very fully bathtub all by himself (He is 4). And he was just sitting there, acting very well. And my grandma was there too. She was kind of watching him, and she was able to remember and she was acting like the matriarch of the family. (BTW, she'll be 94 on Wednesday! Happy Birthday Gram!) and there was a patch of vegetables growing nearby, but they weren't attached to any plants. Instead, they were vegetables like what is in tater tot hot dish (what was served for lunch today; I didn't eat it. I don't like all those vegetables mixin' with my taters). And Bro and his wife came back and we set up camp in the desert there, and watched their son sitting in the very full bathtub. And then I woke up.
It was very bizarre and had a very native-american-y feel to it. Maybe it's because Oldest Brother's wife is a native american (she has lived on a reservation, even). She "left" for a while and I thought they were going to get divorced, but YS called yesterday to say that she is coming back. So, no divorce.
Anyway, so that was my dream, and a little bit of background info on why I may have had a little bit of the slant that was in there. Hasta, yo.
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Skechers No More
Well, tonight, I decided that my Skechers have finally fallen apart bad enough for me to put them out of commission. I've worn them for about two years or so, and I went skydiving BOTH times in them. I sported my neon orange shoelaces in them, walked, hiked, and lived in those shoes. I'm going to miss them.
Plus, my other tennis shoes have pink on the bottom and orange doesn't go very well with the pink. But, I don't care, because the orange shoelaces are NOT going away. I need COLOR in my life! Ha.
Oh, and I had a weird dream last night. Considering it's been a while since I've shared any dreams with my adoring public, I figured I'd share this one: I was pregnant and I gave birth to a baby. But, it wasn't MY baby. A woman had been pregnant with triplets and she lost two of them and wanted me to carry the 3rd one to term for her. So, I gave birth to this baby and was suddenly transported to the classroom where my section of Greek is held. I turned and decided to go, and I walked past one of my classmates, turned around, and said, "See y'all later! I just had a baby!" or something like that. It was weird. Anyway, that was the dream. I told the class the gist of the dream during class and they laughed hard, which in turn made me laugh. I think we're at the point in class where we're teetering perilously close to the edge of insanity. Ha.
In other news, our 5th Greek vocab test is tomorrow. I think I'm pretty much ready. I want to ace it because I missed one last week. I do think that I have a pretty decent handle on this week's other stuff though. I'm pumped. I want to do well! We're almost done and I don't want to just barely squeak by. Pray for me! (Proseuxete emoi!!) Ha. How apropos, considering we just learned imperatives today. Later.
Plus, my other tennis shoes have pink on the bottom and orange doesn't go very well with the pink. But, I don't care, because the orange shoelaces are NOT going away. I need COLOR in my life! Ha.
Oh, and I had a weird dream last night. Considering it's been a while since I've shared any dreams with my adoring public, I figured I'd share this one: I was pregnant and I gave birth to a baby. But, it wasn't MY baby. A woman had been pregnant with triplets and she lost two of them and wanted me to carry the 3rd one to term for her. So, I gave birth to this baby and was suddenly transported to the classroom where my section of Greek is held. I turned and decided to go, and I walked past one of my classmates, turned around, and said, "See y'all later! I just had a baby!" or something like that. It was weird. Anyway, that was the dream. I told the class the gist of the dream during class and they laughed hard, which in turn made me laugh. I think we're at the point in class where we're teetering perilously close to the edge of insanity. Ha.
In other news, our 5th Greek vocab test is tomorrow. I think I'm pretty much ready. I want to ace it because I missed one last week. I do think that I have a pretty decent handle on this week's other stuff though. I'm pumped. I want to do well! We're almost done and I don't want to just barely squeak by. Pray for me! (Proseuxete emoi!!) Ha. How apropos, considering we just learned imperatives today. Later.
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Dreams, again...
I confess; I have bizarre dreams quite frequently. I blogged about some dreams I was having a semester or so ago, and now I'm going to blog about my most recent dream. Let me preface this by saying that I've not been sleeping well lately; in part, I believe, due to all that has been going on, what with that man dying at Restaurant, and Ma being diagnosed with bladder cancer. So, when I'm not sleeping well, I tend to have lots of weird dreams. Sometimes they're good; sometimes they're not so good. So, this is the dream I had last night:
I was at the seminary of my choice, because in the dream, I was accepted. I went and the semester was fairly new. I was going around trying to make friends, but no one thought I was cool enough. People were actually snubbing me. I went walking with the young lady who gave me, Sis, BiL, and Howard our tour recently, and even she didn't like me. So, finally, T over at Praying on the Prairie came. She thought I was cool, and so we started throwing things in the kitchen. Then, some other people started to like me because she liked me and thought I was worth hanging out with. So, then I woke up, slightly freaked out.
I think I've had "No one likes me at Seminary" dreams before, but the details are fuzzy. And the weird thing is, I know that this is not what it will be like. Usually people like me and have a good time hanging out with me. I'm kind of a funny/goofy/open-minded woman. I am fairly outgoing and gregarious, and I am fairly decent at carrying on a conversation, as well. So, I know that people are not going to hate me. I don't know what the deal is. It's the subconscious. What can ya do?
I was at the seminary of my choice, because in the dream, I was accepted. I went and the semester was fairly new. I was going around trying to make friends, but no one thought I was cool enough. People were actually snubbing me. I went walking with the young lady who gave me, Sis, BiL, and Howard our tour recently, and even she didn't like me. So, finally, T over at Praying on the Prairie came. She thought I was cool, and so we started throwing things in the kitchen. Then, some other people started to like me because she liked me and thought I was worth hanging out with. So, then I woke up, slightly freaked out.
I think I've had "No one likes me at Seminary" dreams before, but the details are fuzzy. And the weird thing is, I know that this is not what it will be like. Usually people like me and have a good time hanging out with me. I'm kind of a funny/goofy/open-minded woman. I am fairly outgoing and gregarious, and I am fairly decent at carrying on a conversation, as well. So, I know that people are not going to hate me. I don't know what the deal is. It's the subconscious. What can ya do?
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
Thinking you have stumbled upon an ordinary blog...
You have instead entered: The Twilight Blog!
I'm just kidding. I've only seen "the twilight zone" about once in my whole life. Anyway, that's not what this post is about anyway. I'm just feeling the need to loosen up.
Last night I had this dream: I was at a church council meeting. It was weird though, because people who are not on the council were there. People whom I have NEVER served with were in there along with Pastor. Well, then Pastor said, "The psychological test results are back. Trish, you didn't make it." I asked, "Why? What did I say that was wrong?" He replied, "One question asked if robbers were good people. You said 'false.'" I said, "Why is that true?" And Pastor answered, "People who go into ministry must realize that some people are better at others at certain things. You didn't catch that, so the psychologist recommended a no for you." Then I looked down at the table and was like, "ok." And Pastor said, "That is another thing. You always look down. Ministers need to have confidence to look the world in the eye, even when things are not going their way." And the people around me, instead of talking about my negative recommendation instead started talking about lawn mowers. That's about the time I woke up. It's a very bizarre dream and I put no stock in it whatsoever, but it's just weird. I also find it funny because one of the questions in one of those personality profiles was something along the lines of, "I believe my dreams are things that should be heeded." I wrote false. My dreams are always just really weird things that generally I can figure out because of things that are going on in my life. So, I think the reason I had this dream was because I've been slightly worried about the results of this test. It's kind of weird though, because that dream helped me realize that they're not going to say no on account of my answer to one question. I imagine they take the whole thing into account. I just hope I came off as a well-adjusted, stable person. Now I'm just waiting to see what they say.
Did you ever notice how difficult waiting is sometimes? We live in an instant gratification society that practically conditions us to want and even expect things RIGHT NOW. As an employee of the food service industry, I see this quite often and am frequently disgusted by peoples' sense of entitlement. However, as I sit here, I realize that I, too, am guilty of wanting things to be resolved RIGHT NOW. I sit here wondering when I will know if I "passed" my psychological evaluations. Now, I consider myself to be pretty stable and level headed. I've made leaps and bounds in my own humble opinion in the past few years. When I was younger, I always felt guilty about things. I've gotten better about that. As a young adult, I had a problem with anxiety. Yes, sometimes I still get nervous (look at this post!) but the fact is that I'm worlds better than I used to be. I honestly believe that there is hope and promise out there, and I want to be one who spreads that hope and that promise. I would really like to do these things in a professional setting. I realize that we are all called to spread the Good News of Jesus in our daily lives, but it is just on my heart, truly and deeply, that I am called to ministry. So, it is in this desire to be a professional that I find myself to be impatient. I want to know RIGHT NOW if the psychologist thinks that I am fit or not. I've said it before, and I'll say it again... I need to have better faith in God's promise that God has a purpose in mind for me. It's just an anxiety-ridden process to wait to see if I've discerned "correctly" thus far. There is always that saying, "Trust that you are exactly where you are supposed to be right now." but sometimes I question that. Anyway, I'm off now, so I'll talk more later.
P.S. sorry that this post seemed to take so many different twists. I was thinking one thing, then I thought another thing, and I felt the need to get both off my chest. :) You are good people for putting up with my twists and turns!
I'm just kidding. I've only seen "the twilight zone" about once in my whole life. Anyway, that's not what this post is about anyway. I'm just feeling the need to loosen up.
Last night I had this dream: I was at a church council meeting. It was weird though, because people who are not on the council were there. People whom I have NEVER served with were in there along with Pastor. Well, then Pastor said, "The psychological test results are back. Trish, you didn't make it." I asked, "Why? What did I say that was wrong?" He replied, "One question asked if robbers were good people. You said 'false.'" I said, "Why is that true?" And Pastor answered, "People who go into ministry must realize that some people are better at others at certain things. You didn't catch that, so the psychologist recommended a no for you." Then I looked down at the table and was like, "ok." And Pastor said, "That is another thing. You always look down. Ministers need to have confidence to look the world in the eye, even when things are not going their way." And the people around me, instead of talking about my negative recommendation instead started talking about lawn mowers. That's about the time I woke up. It's a very bizarre dream and I put no stock in it whatsoever, but it's just weird. I also find it funny because one of the questions in one of those personality profiles was something along the lines of, "I believe my dreams are things that should be heeded." I wrote false. My dreams are always just really weird things that generally I can figure out because of things that are going on in my life. So, I think the reason I had this dream was because I've been slightly worried about the results of this test. It's kind of weird though, because that dream helped me realize that they're not going to say no on account of my answer to one question. I imagine they take the whole thing into account. I just hope I came off as a well-adjusted, stable person. Now I'm just waiting to see what they say.
Did you ever notice how difficult waiting is sometimes? We live in an instant gratification society that practically conditions us to want and even expect things RIGHT NOW. As an employee of the food service industry, I see this quite often and am frequently disgusted by peoples' sense of entitlement. However, as I sit here, I realize that I, too, am guilty of wanting things to be resolved RIGHT NOW. I sit here wondering when I will know if I "passed" my psychological evaluations. Now, I consider myself to be pretty stable and level headed. I've made leaps and bounds in my own humble opinion in the past few years. When I was younger, I always felt guilty about things. I've gotten better about that. As a young adult, I had a problem with anxiety. Yes, sometimes I still get nervous (look at this post!) but the fact is that I'm worlds better than I used to be. I honestly believe that there is hope and promise out there, and I want to be one who spreads that hope and that promise. I would really like to do these things in a professional setting. I realize that we are all called to spread the Good News of Jesus in our daily lives, but it is just on my heart, truly and deeply, that I am called to ministry. So, it is in this desire to be a professional that I find myself to be impatient. I want to know RIGHT NOW if the psychologist thinks that I am fit or not. I've said it before, and I'll say it again... I need to have better faith in God's promise that God has a purpose in mind for me. It's just an anxiety-ridden process to wait to see if I've discerned "correctly" thus far. There is always that saying, "Trust that you are exactly where you are supposed to be right now." but sometimes I question that. Anyway, I'm off now, so I'll talk more later.
P.S. sorry that this post seemed to take so many different twists. I was thinking one thing, then I thought another thing, and I felt the need to get both off my chest. :) You are good people for putting up with my twists and turns!
Saturday, January 28, 2006
Dreams...
A very interesting thing has been going on inside my brain lately at night. I've been having some bizarre dreams. I have always been one to have bizarre dreams, but I just thought I would share some of them with you now. But before I do, I would like to say that I am one who has recurring dreams. I had one of my recurring dreams last night (I had several dreams last night), but to tell you the truth, I can never remember it until I have it. But anyway, if there are any psychologists or dream analysts out there, feel free to comment.
Weird recent dream #1: I had this dream late last semester. I was in Las Vegas and some crazy man was chasing me with the intent of hurting me. I turned away from this man and started running when I thought, "I need to face this guy so he will go away." So, I turned around and my stats professor was there. I thought that the crazy guy just transformed himself into my professor to throw me off so he could get close enough to hurt me. So, I walked up to him on the streets of Vegas, mind you, and pulled out this knife and stabbed him a few times in the side. As I did this, he said, "Trish, stop that. Now I can't wear this shirt anymore!" That is when I turned around and ran away. But suddenly, I was running up stairs. Not just any stairs though, but the stairs that are in my big brother's (BB) house. The stairs were just like BB's: dark, cluttered, angled and all. I got to the top and went to the room to the left. But the room turned out to be my back porch. So, I was on my back porch looking out at my dog (she's an outside dog), and there was a wolf in the backyard looking at me and telepathically daring me to come out and protect Doggie. At this point, I'm scared that this wolf is going to hurt my poor dog, so I went and grabbed my "rifle" bb gun and opened the door to shoot this wolf. The BB gun couldn't really hurt anything too bad; especially not a wolf. So my shooting it just made it angry. So that caused it to run at my dog. Then I went out and started beating this wolf with the stock of the gun to get it to stop hurting my dog. That is about the time I woke up. My favorite part of the dream: "Trish, stop that. Now I can't wear this shirt anymore!"
Weird Recent Dream #2: I had this dream last night. I wasn't an actual participant in this dream; it was like I was watching a movie. I dreamed that this married couple were not happy with each other so they started having affairs. The woman really liked the person she was having an affair with while the same was true for her husband. Anyway, they found out about the affairs. But the weird thing is, they were having the affair with the SAME PERSON! It was a man, by the way. So, this married couple, not wanting to get divorced, moves the man with whom they are having an affair into their home into the guestroom. The guestroom had a little twin bed that the man slept in. So, when one of the two married people "wanted" him, they would come get him and take him to their big bed. And the married couple was completely happy about this arrangement. About that time, I woke up. It was very bizarre. My favorite part of the dream: Waking up and thinking, "What kind of psycho am I?"
And truly, I think that is all the weirdness I am up to posting right now. Feel free to comment if you'd like.
Weird recent dream #1: I had this dream late last semester. I was in Las Vegas and some crazy man was chasing me with the intent of hurting me. I turned away from this man and started running when I thought, "I need to face this guy so he will go away." So, I turned around and my stats professor was there. I thought that the crazy guy just transformed himself into my professor to throw me off so he could get close enough to hurt me. So, I walked up to him on the streets of Vegas, mind you, and pulled out this knife and stabbed him a few times in the side. As I did this, he said, "Trish, stop that. Now I can't wear this shirt anymore!" That is when I turned around and ran away. But suddenly, I was running up stairs. Not just any stairs though, but the stairs that are in my big brother's (BB) house. The stairs were just like BB's: dark, cluttered, angled and all. I got to the top and went to the room to the left. But the room turned out to be my back porch. So, I was on my back porch looking out at my dog (she's an outside dog), and there was a wolf in the backyard looking at me and telepathically daring me to come out and protect Doggie. At this point, I'm scared that this wolf is going to hurt my poor dog, so I went and grabbed my "rifle" bb gun and opened the door to shoot this wolf. The BB gun couldn't really hurt anything too bad; especially not a wolf. So my shooting it just made it angry. So that caused it to run at my dog. Then I went out and started beating this wolf with the stock of the gun to get it to stop hurting my dog. That is about the time I woke up. My favorite part of the dream: "Trish, stop that. Now I can't wear this shirt anymore!"
Weird Recent Dream #2: I had this dream last night. I wasn't an actual participant in this dream; it was like I was watching a movie. I dreamed that this married couple were not happy with each other so they started having affairs. The woman really liked the person she was having an affair with while the same was true for her husband. Anyway, they found out about the affairs. But the weird thing is, they were having the affair with the SAME PERSON! It was a man, by the way. So, this married couple, not wanting to get divorced, moves the man with whom they are having an affair into their home into the guestroom. The guestroom had a little twin bed that the man slept in. So, when one of the two married people "wanted" him, they would come get him and take him to their big bed. And the married couple was completely happy about this arrangement. About that time, I woke up. It was very bizarre. My favorite part of the dream: Waking up and thinking, "What kind of psycho am I?"
And truly, I think that is all the weirdness I am up to posting right now. Feel free to comment if you'd like.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)