tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-84043652024-03-19T06:09:22.231-05:00What is going on here?Just your friendly neighborhood rambler. Woo hoo!Trishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06294097445410074924noreply@blogger.comBlogger517125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8404365.post-42978435323512128472014-04-02T21:23:00.007-05:002014-04-02T21:23:58.544-05:00FrozenIf you have not watched the movie, "Frozen" you shouldn't read this blog post because it has spoilers in it. Fair warning. <br />
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I watched the movie, "Frozen" a couple of weeks ago, and I think it might be my new favorite Disney picture (after The Jungle Book, which I think has the best music).<br />
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"Frozen" has so much stuff in it, that it would be hard not to like. But I like it for more than its "feel good" parts. I like it, even though it almost made me cry.<br />
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I love the beginning part of the movie (after the ice scene) because it shows Anna and Elsa being two very-close, loving, playful sisters. "The sky is awake, so IIII'M awake."<br />
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The thing about "Frozen" is that it has a little bit of everything in it. The "Conceal, don't feel" bit rang home a little bit for me. I read an article where someone was lambasting the parents for being abusive in their reaction to Elsa after what she did on accident. The article said that they were abusive in that they separated Elsa from her sister. But I took it more as a guilt thing. Elsa didn't want to hurt her little sister anymore, so she separated herself away. I don't know.<br />
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Anyway, the thing that keeps making me think about this is the scene where the king and queen said their goodbyes to the kids and said, "See you in two weeks," and then it cuts to showing them on their ship in the huge waves, and then the ship is gone. <br />
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This isn't the first time Disney has touched upon parental death. But, as far as I know, this is the first time BOTH parents have died at the same time. And then Anna is at Elsa's door, with her black head scarf on, talking about how it's just them now. Gets me every time, even when I'm just listening to the soundtrack. It's just a movie, but being an orphan is a reality for lots of people in our world.<br />
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I wonder how kids deal with that part. When I was a kid and Mufasa died, I got really sad. I saw that movie for the first time not long after my own dad had died and I linked myself to Simba. <br />
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It was probably a good idea to have one of the next scenes be a mixture of happiness and anxiety. It doesn't totally push all those heavy emotions away, but it also helps draw viewers (at least me) out of the total sadness of the parents' deaths. <br />
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Although this is an abrupt ending, I think that's all I'm going to say about the movie right now. I liked it. I liked that it dealt with heavy topics. And I'll probably talk more about this movie later.Trishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06294097445410074924noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8404365.post-88988381150716654112014-03-26T23:51:00.002-05:002014-03-26T23:51:26.994-05:00Do justice, love kindness, walk humblyMy Facebook news feed has been driving me bonkers the last couple days. I keep seeing all these articles that are making me shake my head in utter disbelief.<br />
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First, I saw the article about the little girl who was suspended for shaving her head in solidarity with a friend who lost her hair due to chemo.<br />
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THEN, I saw an article about a little girl who was kicked out of her "Christian" school for "being too much of a tomboy." The article said that the school told her that she was confusing people, and that she would grow up to be immoral because of her short hair and tomboy ways.<br />
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THEN, there's been the hullabaloo about the World Vision debacle. First, they decided to hire gay and lesbian people in committed relationships. Next, there was a HUGE outcry from people who said that WV folks must not read the Bible. Then, a friend posted a "Thank you" on WV's FB page for them being inclusive, and the comments his post got were sickening. People were attacking him because he doesn't believe like they do. People revoked their sponsorships of children, and jumped ship. But then, WV caved and reversed their new policy.<br />
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So, that brings us to "Do justice, love kindness, and walk humbly with your God." It's part of Micah 6:8. It's a pretty well-known verse (even overused, really). But here's the thing...It's BIBLICAL. It's true. And doing these things, I think, is pretty much the polar opposite of suspending/kicking little girls out of school for the HAIRSTYLE CHOICES. I think walking with God also has a lot to do with people fighting poverty and starvation. If GLBTQ people want to work against poverty and hunger, LET THEM. <br />
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A couple of months ago, I looked up "Justice" on the Oremus Bible Browser. There are over 100 instances of the word "justice" in the Old and New Testaments. And guess what? Most of them have to do with doing justice for the poor, widowed, orphan, alien, and outcast. <br />
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The people who have the ability to do justice are generally the people with power. But, instead of doing justice, there are so many people out there who are trying to shove their particular brand of Christianity down the throats of the rest of us. <br />
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I'm a Christian woman. But I also have really short hair, I preach pretty much every Sunday. I was a tomboy growing up. My husband and I make decisions together. And I believe in the full inclusion of gay and lesbian people. These folks have been marginalized and told that God does not love them for too long. <br />
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So, Micah 6:8 (and MANY other verses throughout Scripture) tell us to do justice, love kindness, and walk humbly with your God. <br />
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Notice this doesn't say that the LORD requires you to be absolutely right about everything, or to stop feeding starving people, or whatever. This idea of "needing to be right," I think, is counter-cultural to the Gospel. The Pharisees and Sadducees of the day thought they were right, and then Jesus came and totally flipped their ideas of who God was for, totally upside down.<br />
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I know that Scripture is a complicated, nuanced thing. I really do believe it is God-inspired. But I also believe the Holy Spirit inspires within US the ability to follow Jesus. And I wish more people would get the message to stop being so caught up in who and what they think is wrong, and get MORE caught up in serving and loving their neighbors. ALL of their neighbors. Not just the ones they agree with.<br />
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And now I feel like a huge hypocrite because I'm so angry at the right. Trishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06294097445410074924noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8404365.post-72121008207825470762014-03-24T22:41:00.001-05:002014-03-24T22:41:12.521-05:00Hope"Therefore, since we are justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have obtained access to this grace in which we stand; and we<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null"><sup class="fnote"></sup></a> boast in our hope of sharing the glory of God. And not only that, but we also boast in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, <sup class="ww"></sup>and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not disappoint us, because God’s
love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit that has
been given to us." Romans 5:1-5<br />
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So lately, I've been thinking a lot about hope. Hope seems almost like this "out there" thing for a lot of us. What does it actually MEAN to have hope? Can the hope of which Paul was speaking spread to all our lives or "just" our faith life?<br />
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Honestly, hope is something I wrestle with. I TRY to be hopeful, and for some things, I AM very hopeful. I AM hopeful that God walks with us in all our situations. I AM hopeful that I am a forgiven child of God.<br />
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But sometimes, life throws things at people, where hope DOES seem to disappoint. You get ramped up and hopeful about something and then BAM! It falls through.<br />
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So, what do we do when hope disappoints us?<br />
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I don't really know the answer to that question. What I DO know is that God's love is poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, regardless of where we fall on the hope spectrum. And I pray for endurance for when hope falls away.<br />
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So, does HOPE ever disappoint you?<br />
What do you do when it does?<br />Trishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06294097445410074924noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8404365.post-18801948851056843432013-07-22T20:04:00.005-05:002013-07-22T20:04:38.892-05:00ABCs of Me!<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: 'PT Sans Narrow'; font-size: 18px; line-height: 1.4;">Thanks to Sarah from <a href="http://www.everydayholy.blogspot.com/">The Everyday Holy</a></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: 'PT Sans Narrow'; font-size: 18px; line-height: 1.4;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: 'PT Sans Narrow'; font-size: 18px; line-height: 1.4;">for tagging me in the ABC’s of Me, a popular blogging Q&A that’s going around right now. </span><br />
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<b>A. Attached or single?</b> Attached for a little over 4 years.<br />
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<b>B. Best Friend?</b> I have a few. You all rock.<br />
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<b>C. Cake or Pie?</b> Probably pie. Apple, French Silk, raspberry...But if you only have cake, I definitely won't turn it down! Ha.<br />
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<b>D. Day of the Week?</b> Thursday, probably. It's my dedicated day off. It's fun having a day off in the middle of the week, too.<br />
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<b>E. Essential Item?</b> Chap stick. I can't leave home without it.</div>
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<b>F. Favorite Color?</b> Orange!<br />
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<b>G. Gummy Bears or Gummy Worms?</b> Bears-the white kind!<br />
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<b>H. Hometown?</b> Rutland, Illinois</div>
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<b>I. Favorite Indulgence?</b> I really like most chocolate, or else really chewy candy.<br />
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<b>J. January or July?</b> July. I really don't like winter.<br />
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<b>K. Kids?</b> Hey! I was one of them, once!<br />
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<b>L. Life isn’t complete without?</b> Laughing with people you love on a regular basis.<br />
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<b>M. Marriage Date?</b> May 30, 2009</div>
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<b>N. Number of brothers/sisters.</b> 2 older brothers, 1 older sister, one younger sister.<br />
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<b>O. Oranges or apples?</b> Apples - but NOT those dark red ones. I think they are an abomination unto the Lord.<br />
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<b>P. Phobias?</b> Rats, bats, mice, and snakes.<br />
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<strong>Q. Favorite quote?</strong> Romans 8:26-Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we ought, but that very Spirit intercedes with sighs too deep for words.<br /><br />
<b>R. Reason to smile? </b>A goofy joke, lubbins from my nephews, the first really nice day after a bunch of crappy ones...Non-burnt popcorn, kids at church drawing me pictures so I can hang them up on my office wall...<br />
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<b>S. Season of Choice?</b> Summer.<br />
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<b>T. Tag 3 People:</b></div>
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1. Ummm</div>
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2. I don't interact enough with other bloggers</div>
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3. To tag 3 people. Sorry I SUCK!<br /> </div>
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<strong>U. Unknown fact about me? </strong>None of your business!<br />
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<b>V. Favorite vegetable?</b> This is a tough one. I like most vegetables, so I'll just go with the ones I have in my fridge right now (Thanks to a congregant who KNOWS I love fresh veggies, these are garden fresh). I have kohlrabi and sugar snap peas in there right now. Yum!<br />
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<strong>W. Worst habit? I can be a bit judgmental</strong><br />
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<b>X. X-Ray or Ultrasound?</b> Ultrasound, I suppose, though I'm not a big fan.<br />
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<strong>Y. Your favorite food?</strong> mashed potatoes (the REAL kind) with dark brown gravy.<br />
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<strong>Z. Zodiac Sign?</strong> Scorpio, not that I put any stock in that astrology stuff.<br />
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<strong><span style="font-size: small;">Thanks for following along! I’d love to hear from you as well! Tell me one unknown fact about you in the comments below! :0)</span></strong></div>
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Trishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06294097445410074924noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8404365.post-60743973702674692372013-04-17T21:01:00.000-05:002013-04-17T21:01:27.913-05:00Channeling DadMy husband recently "discovered" a trick to save us money. Instead of buying microwave popcorn, the thing to do, he was told, is to just dump about a 1/4 cup of regular popcorn kernels into a regular brown bag; like a lunch sack for a kid. You fold over the top of the bag a couple of times, then lay it on its side and microwave it.<br />
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Now, I'm a cheapskate. Always have been, probably always will be. So, I was generally down with this.<br />
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The other day, I was in need of something salty to snack on, and being out of sun seeds, popcorn is OBVIOUSLY the next choice. <br />
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So, I went to the kitchen and did all the steps, and waited for the popcorn to pop. BUT, it was taking FOR-EV-ER. Not just a little forever, but like, "Sandlot" FOR-EV-ER!<br />
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So, I stopped it, took the bag out, dumped what little had popped into my bowl, and started it again. A couple of seconds later, though, the microwave went off. I called in to the hubster and said, "I think I blew a fuse!" <br />
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He came in and looked around, then went to the basement. No fuses blown. Hmm.<br />
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He came back to the kitchen and looked at the microwave and then said, "Holy crap! This is hot!" <br />
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So, we unplugged the microwave and put it in the dining room, away from flammable substances, and I just had to suck it up and be happy with the minute amount of popcorn that popped.<br />
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The next morning, I woke up and I smelled something BURNING! I freaked out and jumped out of bed to see if the microwave had melted into the dining room table it was sitting on. Thankfully, the microwave wasn't the culprit. Hubby burned breakfast.<br /><br />So, last night, I REALLY wanted some popcorn, but the old microwave was toast (my electrician brother in law told me that it is NOT safe to use a microwave after it shuts off and gets hot). So, I decided to channel my dad, who was a popcorn FIEND.<br />
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I didn't grow up with microwave popcorn. No. In our household, we did it the OFW-OLD Fashioned Way. We put oil in a pan, put popcorn kernels on the bottom, then shook the hell out of the pan until all the kernels popped! I hadn't done that in YEARS, but I wanted some popcorn!<br />
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So I MADE that popcorn. On the stove. And it was perfect. So delicious. When the popcorn was done popping, I turned off the burner, dumped the corn into a bowl, and then put a pat of butter into the still warm pot to melt. SO good. <br /><br />The only thing that would have made this more "Dad-Like" was if I would have had some bacon grease in which to pop the corn. But I never much liked that method, and bacon grease popcorn is probably why he's dead now. So, I just have to think that Dad would be smiling that his daughter, the non-cook one, was kicking it Old School, just like he taught me.Trishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06294097445410074924noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8404365.post-20590247175477208362013-04-16T22:39:00.002-05:002013-04-16T22:40:40.217-05:00First World ProblemsBismarck, ND had a record amount of snowfall on Sunday, April 14, 2013. They had over 17 inches of snow in less than ONE day. It was crazy. So, with the inundation of snow, the roads are not all cleared up, traffic is going slower, and things are generally just a huge mess. So, of course, I was crabby (Being a pastor does not negate the fact that I get crabby).<br />
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I went to one of the hospitals in town to do a visit. I was in town already for text study; a gathering where rostered leaders in the Church gather together to "talk about what we're going to talk about." So, I streamlined my Bismarck time to do some visits, too.<br />
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The person I wanted to visit was already discharged, which was good news. So, I went back to my car to go do some nursing home visits.<br />
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While I was walking to my car, I saw a guy walking across the parking lot with his cell phone held to his ear. I thought, "I better watch out for that guy. He will probably be here before I get reversed out." So, sure enough, this guy was soon behind my car. Now, I had ASSUMED he had seen me get into my car, but I think I assumed wrong, because...WHY? BECAUSE, when he got to my car, he stopped walking. He just was standing there, blocking me. So, I tried to wave at him a little bit, but he wasn't paying attention.<br />
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I started my car to get his attention.<br />
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I put my car into REVERSE to get his attention.<br />
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The guy KEPT STANDING THERE. Talking on his cell phone. Seriously.<br />
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Finally, the guy moved enough for me to reverse out of my parking spot. So, I reversed and put my car into DRIVE.<br />
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But guess what!?<br />
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The guy was in my way again. Standing there, talking on his cell phone. LOOKING right at me. Seriously.<br />
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I sat there about 15 seconds, and the guy moved again and I could go.<br />
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Seriously. Dude. Seriously. Move.<br />
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Everyone is a little crabby right now. We've been enduring about 6 months of winter. We want spring temperatures. We want sunshine. We want travel and exercise to be uninhibited by the snow. So it just seems to me that random dudes should not be standing behind someone's car when there is a whole parking lot full of empty cars they could stand behind.<br />
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Petty, what with the state of affairs, but we're not in the Oppression Olympics. Trishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06294097445410074924noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8404365.post-13908422414856043952012-07-14T01:36:00.001-05:002012-07-14T01:36:37.134-05:00DeathNo one has died near me recently. That's not necessarily what this post is about.<br />
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But, I'm coming more and more to realize that I think about death A LOT. I find myself wondering if this is a natural thing, what with this "line of work" and all, or if I'm half a bubble off or something.<br />
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I've been around lots of death in my lifetime; people I knew and people I didn't. I have seen it come quickly, and I've seen it lurk in the corners for a long time before actually happening. I have seen old people die "well," and I've seen young people succumb to freak accidents. <br />
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So...I think about death. Now, no one freak out...I'm not planning my own or anything. I like living and all that jazz. I don't live in fear of death. Death is just something that I ponder.<br />
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My cousin, Brian, is very sick with cancer. He's not old. I am not sure how old he is, but I don't think he's more than 40. The surgeons and doctors have said that surgery is not an option anymore. Brian has to decide if he wants to take chemotherapy to slow the progression or not. From what I hear, he's handling his illness with humor and grace. I don't know what's going on in his mind right now, as HE faces death. I don't know what's going on in his siblings' minds as they face the fact that their brother is dying. I don't know how his mom and dad are handling this turn of events. <br />
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I just find myself wondering if THEY are thinking about death.<br />
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For better or worse, we live in a largely death-avoidant culture. We don't want to think in these "morbid" ways, but instead live without thinking about how we will meet our "end."<br />
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Now, I'm not a "pie in the sky" theologian. BUT, considering I AM a theologian, a pastor, and a teacher, I can't help but think about how embracing death helps us embrace life. You know that old saying, "You don't know what you've got til it's gone." Well, similarly, I think we sometimes miss what life is about when we don't realize that someday life, as we know it, will be over. But, when this life is done, I don't think that's our end.<br />
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In seminary, we had a big discussion on "When you're dead, you're dead." I had never heard that before I went to seminary, and it was a bit of a shock when I heard of it. But, after much thinking, I think that's the way I go too...When you're dead, you're dead. However, I also believe Jesus' words very much, "I am with you ALWAYS, even to the end of the age." Not just OUR age, but THE age. And I think that because of this promise, we don't have to fear death. We are never alone. Neither life nor death or things present or past or future, or any of that STUFF can separate us from the love of God. And if we're never separated from the love of God, that means that we're never alone, never forgotten, and never without hope. So, I think that when we're dead, we're dead, but God is still with us. There is no place Christ has not been, and so Christ is with us everywhere, even in death. There is still hope. For Brian, for me, and for all. So maybe it's not so much "Death" I think about...Maybe it's hope.Trishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06294097445410074924noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8404365.post-88762734046842009922012-06-28T00:21:00.000-05:002012-06-28T00:21:08.467-05:00Just a Little Theory I HaveToday, I read an article written by a man whose mother has pretty severe dementia. He was talking about long term care insurance, about the HUGE medical expense the aging population is facing, and about how Boomers (Baby Boomers) are seeing this in huge numbers. This is not new information for me.<br />
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The first wave of Boomers turned 65 last year. 65 is typically the age when people start having "dementia" on their list of worries. The younger Boomers are also often a part of the "Sandwich Generation," where they are taking care of their own young children and their aging parents at the same time. <br />
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So, since 65 is the age doctors start "looking" for signs of cognitive decline, it stands to reason that there WILL be a significant increase in Alzheimer's Disease, Vascular Dementia, and other dementias in the near future. There are over 5 million people with Alzheimer's right now, and that number is set to almost triple by 2050. That's A LOT of people. And, it's A LOT of people who will have SEEN what dementia does to a person. <br />
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I am often heard saying that the unknown is the hardest part (of virtually anything stressful in life). But, I think, in the case of dementia, KNOWING what is to come might be worse. These Boomers will have seen the physical, social, and financial effects dementia has on people, and they're not going to like facing it themselves (duh).<br />
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So, here's where my theory comes in...<br />
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I think that with the aging population, especially the aging of HUGE WAVES of people (Boomers), our country is going to start debating physician assisted suicide, HOTLY. I think that with the impending epidemic on our hands, we're going to see a significant increase in suicides of people who do not want to go where their parents went. And I think that various socializing institutions (schools, media, churches), along with politics will struggle mightily. We're already seeing it a little (Accusations of President Obama's healthcare reform instituting "death panels"). <br />
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So, the question becomes, "If this happens, what are we going to do about it?" As a pastor, I wonder what our theological response will be. Maybe that's a blog post for another day. But, today, I find myself wondering about this theory. We'll have to wait and see, and pray for a cure so that this epidemic doesn't happen!Trishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06294097445410074924noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8404365.post-6011710881078017222012-06-19T01:55:00.000-05:002012-06-19T01:58:32.968-05:00Crazy dreams...Last night, I had not one, but TWO crazy dreams. Well, actually they were more nightmare like than dream like. It's been a while since I've had dreams I really remember, but these two fit that bill.<br />
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The first dream had me at my congregation. I had failed to prepare a sermon, but had talked with a seminary mate about their sermon from the previous week. The topic was about sin, and I got a good idea from either Shannon or James, I can't remember which. So, in the dream/nightmare, I was reading the Gospel lesson, and then I took 8 bouncy balls (you know the kind-you put the quarter in the machine and turn the lever til the ball comes out) and bounced them into the congregation. I said something like, "Think of sin like this...The balls are sin. Even if they don't hit you, you still duck." Then, I started talking a little more, and I was looking at the bulletin insert. When I looked up, EVERYONE was gone except for three young girls. The funny thing is, only one of them actually goes to my church. It was strange, and one of those dreams that is just unpleasant. I have always had "inadequacy dreams," even when I worked food service. I used to have a recurring dream where I was SUPER DUPER late for work at Restaurant, and my boss always sent me home. So, I'm hoping this isn't going to be a recurring dream!<br />
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My second dream was actually WAY worse.
I had a nightmare then. I don't remember the WHOLE thing, but here is what I do remember:<br />
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There was some kind of HUGE earthquake. It wasn't just limited to a city or state. The way that I was "thinking" in the dream was that this was a world-wide earthquake that seriously changed things...This was like an APOCALYPTIC earthquake. It knocked out roads and phone wires and cell towers and everything. I couldn't call my sisters and brothers and I had no way of finding out if they were still alive.<br />
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When the earthquake happened, I was up at one of the Bible camps, and we were having to help the campers stay safe, and get someplace where we could get them food and water and safety. I saw a seminary friend while we were up there and I said, "Is everyone in your family okay?" She got a sad look on her face and said everyone was fine except her dad, who died. I was so sad for my friend, and I think if I'd have woken up right then, I might have been crying, but instead, I kept dreaming.<br />
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Next, I saw a United Airlines sign, but the earthquake had broken it. But, either I was able to fly out, or my sisters were able to fly in. Suddenly, I was back at my childhood home, standing out in the yard. I was trying to find my sisters, but I couldn't move. So, I just started yelling my younger sister's name. She called out, "I'm here!" So, she came over to me and I said, "I'm so happy you're alive! Is everyone else okay?" She said everyone was fine except for Oldest Brother. His wife had wanted him to go under the stairs to pray during the earthquake, and they fell on top of him and killed him. Then, we were in my old living room, sitting on my mom's old couch, and the treasurer from my congregation was sitting there. Then, the dream ended, I think.<br />
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Dreams are weird. I have mentioned before that I've ALWAYS had very vivid dreams. Usually they're just weird, and not scary. But this second dream was very scary and I didn't like it.
I don't feel particularly stressed right now, and I like my call (and I think they like me), so I don't really know what brought these dreams on. The subconscious is a very weird thing. Anyway, here's hoping tonight's dreams are better.Trishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06294097445410074924noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8404365.post-82935132497441267782012-06-14T16:22:00.000-05:002012-06-14T16:31:49.909-05:00InsanityWell, I've decided to try to kick up my physical fitness regimen. I used to really like walking around SeminaryTown with some good friends. I like hiking and bike riding and playing on my Wii Fit Plus. BUT, now that I'm in North Dakota, it's a little LESS fun walking around (though I still walk most places I go when I'm in the town where my church is). I don't have a functioning bicycle anymore (much to my chagrin), and Wii Fit Plus, while fun, is not that great a workout when you're trying to lose weight and tone up. Oh, and pretty much everything around here is flat, so there aren't a whole lot of hiking opportunities (this probably makes me the most sad because I LOVE hiking).<br />
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So, I was up late one night (big surprise) and was watching some t.v. infomercials. The one that came on was about a fitness DVD set called "Insanity." The people on t.v. said that the program comes with the DVDS, nutrition guide, and calendar that tells you which workout to do on which day. The infomercial showed all these people with fantastic results and lots of pounds lost and amazing six pack abs. I was a little skeptical, but it got me thinking.<br />
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A little while later, I saw another infomercial for Insanity. The guy who leads the work out is named Shaun T. My husband has Shaun T's "Hip Hop Abs" DVD workout. I tried doing that once, but since it is dance based, and because I am the most clumsy person you will EVER meet, I didn't like it. But, seeing the infomercial again just got me thinking EVEN MORE about it. So, I Facebooked Older Brother the Younger because he recently became a licensed fitness instructor. I asked him what he thought about these DVD workouts. He told me that they work really great if people don't get too discouraged or frustrated or injured. You have to STICK WITH THE WORKOUT, and because they're so intense, a lot of people drop it after a week or so.<br />
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THEN, I was on Facebook and two of my friends were talking about working out. I butted in on their conversation and asked if they were doing Insanity. They said they were, so I asked how it was working for them. They both said that it was going really well, even though they can't do it every day like you're supposed to, due to work or school related things. That finally clinched it for me; that there were actual people I ACTUALLY knew who had good things to say about the program. I decided to order the program, but off of Amazon, because I'm cheap.<br />
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I bought the DVD workout. It didn't come with the calendar or the nutrition guide, but I was able to download the calendar for free off the Internet, and I already have a pretty good grasp on nutrition. I was doing really well, but then I injured my leg a little and had to take a break for a couple weeks. Then, I got back into it, but was not doing it every day. But, that wasn't working for me because I need to make things a consistent habit. I just got done working out about an hour ago, after not having done it for three days, and WOW could I tell. So, I'm going to restart.<br />
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But, I HAVE noticed some physical changes. I feel really good (even though WHILE doing the workout I feel like I'm going to DIE). I'm not losing weight, per se, but the way that I look is changing. My cardiovascular health, I think, is improving, and I have more energy. I'm excited. I'm also looking forward to EVENTUALLY getting to month 2 (you do the same several workouts through month one, then in month 2, it ratchets up a bit. From what I've read, a lot of people see more drastic change in month 2). But, for now, it's basically back to Day 1. Here's hoping I can do this whole thing!<br />
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Anyway, if you're bored with your workouts and you want to sweat, sweat, SWEAT, I would recommend Insanity. I like cardio workouts, but self-directed ones are too boring for me. This is definitely NOT boring. It's a challenge, every SINGLE TIME. But, I like it!
Also, those who have followed my blog might be happy to know that I waited until AFTER I got the results of the Echocardiogram to buy Insanity. I wasn't going to risk it. Oh yeah, and I recently decided to start seeing an endocrinologist again (it had been about...10 years since I last saw one and every general practitioner I've seen since has suggested I go back to see one. I decided to finally follow their advice). During our time together, I mentioned the echo and the results and she said that could be because I am under-medicated with my thyroid meds. So, she bumped me up a little, and that is also helping me feel better. Good to know!
That's what is on my mind right now, anyway. This was a really long post. A lot of times, I don't like reading long posts, so if you've stuck with this one til now, good for you! Have a great day.Trishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06294097445410074924noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8404365.post-32525833185331439402012-04-10T16:51:00.002-05:002012-04-10T16:59:31.968-05:00I don't plan on dyin' anytime soon.The results of the echocardiogram are in: Slight tricuspid and mitral valve insufficiency. Not enough to cause a whole lot of problems. Otherwise, the heart looks really good. The doc is thinking the chest weirdness was maybe something muscular or anxiety related (though I don't consider myself to be an anxious person. Maybe I am, and instead of manifesting outwardly, it goes inward. Who knows?) I'm supposed to monitor it and if I don't feel better, come back in for some more testing. No more action is needed at this point, and my activities are not restricted. I can get back to working out!<br /><br />Hallelujah!<br /><br />This is good news. I've been a little nervous about it, but not too much since the Echo tech didn't run screaming from the room, and because they didn't call me right away. I'm glad it doesn't seem to be anything serious. If you were praying or thinking of me, thank you.<br /><br />I hope you all are having a fantastic Easter. He is risen, indeed! ALLELUIA!Trishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06294097445410074924noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8404365.post-39658288300146669372012-03-29T22:43:00.002-05:002012-03-29T23:15:13.934-05:00Adventures in HypochondriaWell, friends. Today has been an interesting day. It all started last week...<br /><br />I woke up with the flu or something on Friday morning; body aches, headache, chills, sore throat, and nausea. I'm pretty sure I had a fever, but not having a thermometer, I don't know. I took it easy Friday and Saturday, and thought that would be that.<br /><br />So...Saturday night, I was lying in bed, when all of a sudden, my chest started to feel funny. It didn't hurt. It wasn't even really uncomfortable. It just felt...funny.<br /><br />A couple more days went by, and the chest weirdness continued, and also spread to my back. So, with my family history of heart disease, I decided to call the doctor and get an appointment. I felt a little silly, what with not even being thirty years old, but I thought, "rather silly than dead." <br /><br />I thought I would go in, talk with the doctor for a few minutes, and hear her say that I pulled a muscle or something. When I got there, I was talking with the doctor and I told her I felt silly for coming in, and she told me that it's not silly. That's one of the great things about my doctor: she doesn't treat me like a hypochondriac, even when I feel like one. It's not like I think I have every illness and problem out there. I don't think that at all. But, it seems like I've had a bunch of problems this past year or so.<br /><br />So, she listened to my heart and asked me some general questions and all that good stuff. Then, she suggested that we have an EKG. I thought that I'd be heading over to the hospital, but she pulled out a hospital gown from the exam table and told me we'd be doing that in the office. So, she left and the nurse came in and did the EKG. When we were done, she told me to wait and the doc would be back in to talk about what she saw. <br /><br />I waited. And then, she came back in, and I could tell by the look on her face that all wasn't well.<br /><br />She sat down and said, "The EKG was abnormal. Basically, the line went down in places where the line should have gone up. I am ordering a Troponin blood test to see if you are having a heart attack, or if there is other acute damage happening right now. Sheri will be in to take you to the lab." I asked her what I needed to do after the blood test, and she said, "Come right back here. I'm not letting you leave my office until I see those results!" (She tried to keep it all light. She wasn't being an alarmist or anything, even if my writing makes it seem that way). She then told me that it might be a little while until the results came in, but that I needed to wait.<br /><br />So, Sheri took me to the lab (Just a short walk down the hall. The doctors' offices are connected to a rehab hospital, and they share a lab). I got my blood drawn, and then I went back to the exam room and...waited...<br /><br />I waited, watched out the window as the ambulance service came and took one of the rehab patients to the main hospital for a procedure (my congregant!), and waited some more. About half an hour later or so, the doctor came in and told me the good news that I DIDN'T have a heart attack or other acute damage, but that she would like me to have an echo-cardiogram next week so she can see the mechanics of how my heart is working so she can see what we're dealing with.<br /><br />So, echo-cardiogram is scheduled for Wednesday at the main hospital. I'm hoping that this ends up being something stupid, but if you would like to offer some prayers, I'd appreciate it. I'm a little nervous about it; not overwhelmingly so, but enough. Doc said that if I feel worse before then that I should go to the hospital. Thankfully, for the most part, things are staying the same. Just weird feeling. <br /><br />I guess I am glad that I was willing to look silly. The doctor asked me again about my family history; about when my parents started having heart problems. Since my dad had his first heart attack when he was 44, I think that sealed the deal for her to pursue this more. Plus, my total cholesterol isn't that great. She said since my HDL (good) cholesterol is great though, that she feels pretty okay about where I am at. Plus, I exercise, try to consume a lot of fiber, and try to avoid cholesterol, trans, and saturated fat.<br /><br />The point, I suppose, aside from asking for your prayers, is to say that if you're having bizarre symptoms, RISK LOOKING SILLY. Now, this echo could come out benign, and if it does, I'll be happy, but it won't change that I'm grateful that I finally sucked it up and got an appointment. Our health is important. YOUR health is important. Be well, Friends.Trishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06294097445410074924noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8404365.post-68143142216222033702012-02-02T02:24:00.005-06:002012-02-02T02:47:34.684-06:00Hard doesn't mean bad.Here I am, about six months into this whole "being a pastor" thing. It's pretty amazing most days, for sure. I'm called 3/4 time at BLC, but I still keep really busy. <br /><br />Some of the things I do as the pastor are that I develop confirmation lessons and then teach them; I write prayers and sermons; I visit people in the hospital and pray with them before and after surgery, and during illness; I attend council meetings and talk about what's been going on; I go to text study with other area religious leaders so we can "talk about what we're going to talk about;" I go to my youths' sports and musical events; I visit people in their homes or occasionally at the cafe or at their place of work; I visit people in nursing homes; and I lead worship at one of the memory care communities in Bismarck. <br /><br />I am amazed at the ways people have let me into their lives, and I give thanks for community in Christ.<br /><br />When I was in seminary, we talked about our "FOOI," which means,"Family of origin issues." We ALL have them, which isn't necessarily a BAD thing, but it IS important to be able to be aware of them and how they affect the ways we minister. Obviously, one of my FOOIs is that both my parents are dead. My dad has been dead since 1995, and while I still grieve his loss, it's a little less poignant by now. However, my mother has only been gone for not quite two years. She was sick for a LONG time with dementia, which was very hard to see. <br /><br />So, what's the deal? Where are you going with this, Trish? <br /><br />Well, here's the thing-I'm finding it to be difficult work to minister among the cognitively disabled people. At the memory care community, I give thanks that "my" person always knows me, but I also grieve that some of the other people I see repeatedly don't remember. They have no clue who I am, other than I am a pastor (they know because I wear my clerical shirt when I lead worship there). AND, it's hard to see their cognitive decline, too. I really like these people, see, and I don't like that I "know" what's coming for them, and I don't like that it's ACTUALLY happening (and isn't an abstract "someday" thing). Every time I leave there, I am sad. BUT, I also leave with gratitude that I can minister to them. These people are so amazing. They sing the song I pick with exuberance. When I say, "The Lord be with you" they reply, "And also with you!" When I start, "Our Father," they chime RIGHT in. When I move around the table to administer Holy Communion to them, they stick out their tongues so I can place the wine-soaked wafer in their mouths. And then they say "Thank you." Now, I know "Thank you" isn't a "proper liturgical response" but I can't help but be humbled that they think they have to thank ME for administering what Christ freely gives for them. I'm humbled that they let me come and preach and preside in their midst, and I'm humbled that they are so warm to me when I stick around to visit after worship. <br /><br />So, when I leave, I pray a lot for them. And I find myself saying a lot of, "God bless these beloved people. God bless 'em!" It's hard work, ministering in a memory care community, but hard doesn't mean bad. The wounds I still nurse in reference to my mother are still pretty fresh, but I think she would be glad to know that I can go because of these two things: The Holy Spirit's work within me, and my love for her. <br /><br />It's weird; you don't expect a horrible, dreadful, no-good, rotten, memory-stealing disease to have ANY good come out of it. Don't get me wrong, I would STILL punch dementia in the face if it were a person, but dealing with dementia up close and personal has helped shape me into someone who really cares about these beloved ones who are afflicted with dementing illnesses. I can listen to the man who says the same sentence over and over. I can nod at the person who speaks non-words. And I hardly flinch when the F-bomb drops out of a sweet old lady's mouth like she's saying "chicken pot pie." It's hard work, but it's not bad work.Trishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06294097445410074924noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8404365.post-11234249306047154292012-01-19T03:03:00.002-06:002012-01-19T03:16:42.494-06:00This is me...Updating my blog...Hello, Dear Readers (if there are any of you left!!!). <br /><br />Something has been on my mind a lot lately, due to various circumstances in the lives of some of my friends (the joy of keeping track of people due to Facebook and other social media!). This thing on my mind is, "What happens to people when they die?"<br /><br />I hear a lot of the sentiment that when someone we love dies, they become our "guardian angel." My intent here is not to be a gigantic jerk-wagon, but instead to look at this idea a little bit.<br /><br />I do not believe that people die and become an angel who looks after their loved ones. Why? For several reasons. One of the reasons I don't think this is what happens is because angels are a horse of an altogether different color. We are HUMANS. Angels are ANGELS. In some places in the Bible, angels are described as having multiple sets of wings, though at other places, they are described as being human-looking. I don't know exactly what angels look like because to my knowledge, I've never seen one. The point is, though, that there IS a difference between humans and angels. They have a similar purpose, I think, and that is to give glory to God, but I think they do it in different ways. Anyway, that's a whole other post.<br /><br />The main reason I think that we do not become angels when we die is because that would insinuate that human beings aren't "good enough" in God's eyes. Sure, we're not good enough in our own right, but because of CHRIST, we are made holy in God's sight. Jesus came to live among us as "Emmanuel," as "God with us." That means that God came as a human being in Jesus the Christ. That means that "regular old humans;" humans like you and me, are redeemable and worthy to God. God makes regular, sinful human beings into beloved children because of Jesus, who came, not as an angel, but as a human. And Jesus REMAINS as a human today. When he ascended into heaven, he remained human. Today, Jesus sits at the right hand of God as a HUMAN. This is an AMAZING thing. This is a humbling thing. This is a loving thing.<br /><br />I don't mean to be a jerk and dash all the thoughts about "Grandpa being my guardian angel" or anything of the like. What I DO mean to say to you is that Christ is FOR you, even and especially as a human. You don't need to become "extra holy" by becoming an angel when you die. Christ redeems all things, including what we are as flesh and blood.<br /><br />I figure that the people I've been thinking about when I wrote this won't be reading this blog post. But, I still wanted to think about this subject a little more, and get it out there. What do you think?Trishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06294097445410074924noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8404365.post-82365339297175951632011-10-14T21:49:00.002-05:002011-10-14T22:08:34.206-05:00Remembering the Beginning of the EndOn this date in 2006 was what I call, "The Beginning of the End." <br /><br />I remember because October 13, 2006 was a Friday and a man died at Restaurant.<br /><br />Anyway, so October 14th was a Saturday. I was at Sis's house and was sleeping in "my" room when I woke to hear sirens going down the street a few blocks away. I absent-mindedly thought, "I hope that is no one I know." Just then Sis burst into my room saying, "Get up! We have to go to the hospital!" I thought, "OH CRAP! Did BiL electrocute himself!?" (He's an electrician).<br /><br />Anyway, Sis said that Mom's friend called from the Emergency Department to tell us that she had taken Mom there. Mom had blood in her urine (a symptom called "hematuria). Mom's Friend drove her to the hospital where they performed some tests and then referred her to a urologist.<br /><br />Fast forward to the urology appointment a few weeks later. Mom was diagnosed with bladder cancer. It ended up being Grade (not stage) 4. Grade speaks to how fast and aggressive a cancer is while Stage speaks to how advanced it is. So, she had a weird Grade 4, probably stage 2 or 3 bladder cancer. The doctor took a scope and burned the tumors off at first. That's how he staged and graded it. The next course he tried was intravesical chemotherapy, which is different from systemic chemotherapy. Systemic is what you're probably thinking of where a person gets an IV for a while and then usually they feel sick and often lose their hair. Intravesical chemo is such that the doctor inserts a syringe into the person's bladder, puts the chemo in the bladder, and then it sloshes around for at least 20 minutes before it is eliminated. After the four treatments were done, a follow up appointment was scheduled.<br /><br />Just after her chemo ended, I moved to Seminary. I had taken care of her in the best way that I could while I could, and felt called to a new venture. The chemo treatments hadn't been TOO hard on her...They certainly seemed easier than when she'd had breast cancer and had endured systemic chemotherapy. I had driven her to all her bladder appointments and had handed the baton to my siblings. <br /><br />I probably hadn't been at Seminary for more than a week or so when YS called and said that Mom had more hematuria. I suggested she call the urologist to see what he thought. So, they went back, he burned off more tumors with the scope thing, and it was decided that "Big Surgery" was the only way to get rid of the cancer. So, we convinced Mom to have the surgery, and so it was scheduled.<br /><br />She had her surgery on March 21st. The procedure is called a radical cystectomy, in which the surgeon did a complete hysterectomy and bladder removal. At that time, the doctor guided her ureter to a stoma on the outside of her body. That's how people without bladders eliminate waste...The ureter goes to the stoma which then empties into a bag that is attached to a person's side. The adhesive gets changed about once a week or so, and a person empties the bag as often as it starts to fill.<br /><br />But the thing is...Mom had dementia even then. And when she woke up, she was never the same. Looking back, and having talked with some professionals, it seems like she may have had a stroke while under anesthesia. Post-Surgery Mom was drastically changed from Pre-Surgery Mom. <br /><br />So, that's a long post to basically share a short sentiment-Dates are important for those who grieve. It's been a year and a half since Mom died, and yet I still grieve. I think about her every day, and especially on days like today that hold significance for me and for our family. This date marks "The Beginning of the End" for Mom's earthly pilgrimage. It marks the "jumping in point" for really having to face dementia head on. I'm still learning from this, but also still grieving. I hope that in another five years, I'll have more time and more peace with it all. Peace to you wherever you are in your own grief journeys.Trishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06294097445410074924noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8404365.post-62372072818123860562011-08-28T22:44:00.002-05:002011-08-28T22:54:34.616-05:00ThankfulI recently got a haircut. I really love when "haircut day" rolls around, which is usually about every 4-5 weeks, since I wear my hair short. The time before this haircut, I tried a different style, but I couldn't style it the way the cosmetician did, and so gave up on trying that one. So, this haircut was a smidge overdue.
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<br />The thing was, I am really cheap. I wanted to wait at least a month to get my new haircut. Then I ended up waiting a little bit longer because I had a doctor's appointment.
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<br />What? Why should that matter?
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<br />I have been having headaches every morning on the top left of my head. They're not horrible, but they're bothersome, especially considering they've been going on for 2 months. So, I finally went to the doctor. After listening to me describe the headaches, the doctor wanted me to have an MRI to make sure it wasn't a brain tumor. This was the second time in about 9 months that the words "brain tumor" have been spoken to me, so I was a little nervous about it all. And, still cheap.
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<br />Cheap, because I didn't want to get a haircut BEFORE the MRI in case I DID have a brain tumor and would need surgery. After all, they would have just shaved my head anyway. Why spend twenty bucks if the hospital would just shave my head in a few days, anyway?
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<br />So, last Tuesday, I had my MRI. I have had MRIs before, so I knew what to expect. I just tried to chill out in the tube, and then waited anxiously for the results. Finally, on Thursday, the doctor's office called and said it was clear. What a relief! How thankful am I that these persistent, nagging headaches are not something malevolent growing inside my brain.
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<br />So, the day I got my results, I got a haircut. Even though it seems that I'm thankful for the simple thing of getting a new haircut, I think it's something more profound; a gratitude that I could GET a haircut and not have to worry about getting my head shaved. It's a gratitude that I am still pretty healthy, even though I have no answers as to why I have these headaches. But, it's not a tumor. And so, I am thankful-for health and for haircuts.Trishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06294097445410074924noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8404365.post-84213441265137423522011-08-07T00:02:00.002-05:002011-08-07T00:26:51.819-05:00RealizationI was just reading some older posts and realized I missed some more stuff...<br /><br />First off: The awesome family related news I alluded to in February...YS got ENGAGED on Valentine's Day! She and her man decided to get married on April 30th at the Flamingo Hotel in Las Vegas! All my siblings except for OB went. It was SO awesome, and I'm very glad that they took the leap. YS's husband is a very awesome guy, and I am excited that he's officially my brother in law. He treats her well, and they seem genuinely happy together.<br /><br />The other big thing: I broke my wrist in March. Some friends and I went roller skating in SeminaryTown, and within 15 minutes, I had fallen. A roller rink employee was right there when I went down and she said, "Are you ok?" I was afraid of getting into trouble, (odd, I know) and so I just said, "Yeah, I'm fine!" Then I got up and started skating around again, thinking that I had just bumped it a bit. But then, the roller rink announcer said that there were no shoes or coats or sweatshirts allowed in the skate-putting-on-area, and so my friends and I all went to move our stuff to the cubby holes. I sat down and my wrist was still really hurting, and I felt like I was going to pass out. I mentioned that I was really in pain and one of my friends asked if I could move it. I could, though it was sore. So, as I got more and more light-headed, they told me to lie down. I asked, "Do they have free water here?" (I have a penchant for asking stupid water-related questions), and then one of my friends came back with a bottle. Another employee came over with a bag of ice, and looked at my wrist a little. Then, my friends said, "It's time to take Molita to the hospital!" So, we got up and were walking out when the guy who took our money came up and said, "You hardly got to skate, so here is your money back." So, we took our money, loaded into the car, and made the drive across town...<br /><br />AND BOY, WHAT A DRIVE! Every bump hurt like you would not believe. It didn't really, REALLY start hurting until we got into the car, but man...Yikes. I was saying words that are not befitting for a seminary student to say. Oh, and I was laughing hysterically because I am not very good at crying. So, there I was, laughing and swearing profusely, amusing all my friends on the trip.<br /><br />When we got to the Emergency Room, I was still laughing, and when I went to the window, I told them my name and that I fell down and hurt my arm. I took a seat by all my friends and we waited. When we got to the hospital, I stopped swearing, but I was still laughing and saying fake swear words (Fudgesicles, shoot, frick, and the like) because there were little ears around. Finally they called my name and my friend Sarah walked with me back there. I was having a hard time breathing well because it hurt so bad and the lady told me I needed to breathe better or my face would get numb. So, they got me a wheelchair to sit in because every time I moved, my wrist would hurt more. Sarah pushed me back to the waiting room after the receptionist took some of my info. Then, some dude came and Sarah took me back to talk insurance. At that point, I was mentally cursing whomever chose to put square tiles down in the hallways because each groove caused me serious pain.<br /><br />When I was done giving insurance information to that guy, Sarah pushed me back out to the waiting room to wait with Meganne and Matt. Some other guy was waiting for his wife, too, and I think he was thoroughly amused by me. All the laughing, I think, was odd for people to see. While we were waiting, one of the seminary employees came out of the ER with stitches in her face. She'd been at a hockey game and had gotten smashed in the head with a puck! So, we are ER buddies now. <br /><br />Finally, they called me to come back. And so, Matt, Meganne, Sarah, and I went back to a room. Matt and Sarah were classmates of mine, and Meganne is a music therapist, so I said they were my "Spiritual Care Team." We waited and waited and waited, and Sarah took photos of me on her phone and uploaded them to FaceBook. Before long, people were commenting and the like. Another couple of friends saw the pictures and Sarah's status update and asked if we needed anything. So, about half an hour later, they showed up, Matt went and got them out of the waiting room, and they brought bottles of water, some cookies, and a never-been-chewed doggie toy to replace the decimated water bottle I'd been squeezing for the pain. It.was.EPIC!<br /><br />By that time, I'd had X-rays, and the nurse practitioner (I guess broken bones don't require a doctor) had talked to me. Medical people who were around would occasionally glance in to see what all the laughter was for, and I think that my laughing made them under appreciate the immense pain I was in (really, you wouldn't think a broken wrist would hurt that bad, but it DOES. It REALLY does)! Finally, about ten minutes before it was time to go, they came in and gave me a splint, and asked if I wanted something for the pain. I said, "YES!" The nurse asked if I wanted a pill or a shot. Meganne chimed in and said, "She wants a shot! It'll work faster and she's in A LOT of pain." It was funny, but Meganne does know about these things since she was a music therapist for Hospice (We even started to write a song about my pain and the experience of it all...She says it helps). So, the nurse came in and I got a lovely pain killing shot, and then was discharged with instructions to go to the bone doctor later that week for a cast. Matt and Meganne and Sarah and I went directly to the WalGreens and got my Vicodin, and when we got back to Seminary, Sarah put me to bed. <br /><br />Having a broken wrist is not pleasant, but the experience was helped by friends who helped me when I couldn't do things for myself. I am very blessed to have such considerate people in my life. I had people to take me to the bone doctor since I wasn't allowed to drive my own drugged-up self (Thanks, Jealaine and Sarah!). I had people to do my dishes so I didn't have to stack them up for a month. I had a neighbor who would open things I couldn't, and another friend who bought me some bath supplies that would help me be able to bathe more easily.<br /><br />But, I think one of the other highlights of having an awesome orange cast, was the fact that I got so many awesome people to sign it! The day I got it on, my new bishop was at the seminary to meet me and the other WND assignee and his family. So, in addition to many friends who signed it, Bishop Mark Narum also signed my cast. And then, the president of the seminary and his wife ALSO signed it (He's an ex bishop and his wife is just freaking amazing anyway). AND THEN!!!! Because the president was new, he had to be inaugurated in early April. And WHO does the inauguration of a new seminary president? THE CHURCHWIDE BISHOP!!! So, when that day rolled around, I walked up to Bishop Hanson and I lifted up my arm and I said, "Will you sign my cast?" He said, "Sure!" And I handed him my Sharpie and he signed it right in the palm, where I had conveniently left him a space. It was so funny and awesome for me. I mean, how many people can say that Bishop Mark Hanson has signed their cast? I almost wish I'd saved the thing when they took it off...Almost.<br /><br />So, that is what has been happening in my life. I hope things have been good for you all, and that none of you have broken any bones lately. And if you have, my sincere sympathies are with you.Trishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06294097445410074924noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8404365.post-37416473082205758502011-08-06T23:43:00.002-05:002011-08-06T23:55:29.499-05:00Wayyyyy too long...Sincerely, my apologies for not updating with any sort of regularity. I have thought often about the need for updating, but simply have not gotten around to it. <br /><br />Much has happened in the months since my last post. I graduated from seminary in May with my Master of Divinity degree. I had interviews with two different parishes and because both issued me a call, I had to discern to which one I was called. The Holy Spirit absolutely led me on the decision, and I am happy and excited about where I find myself.<br /><br />I was ordained at my home church in Illinois on July 30th. My old pastor came back to be the preacher at the service. I thought it was a great sermon, and I am SO glad he was willing and able to be there for such an important day. Two ladies from my new congregation made the trip from North Dakota to Illinois to be present with me on my ordination day. I thought THAT was so awesome! That's a really long drive. I also had several family friends there, old friends from grade school and high school, and of course, many fantastic and supportive people from my home parish. I experienced a lot of love and affirmation that day, and I give thanks to God for their presence in my life and in the world.<br /><br />I start my new call tomorrow morning. I'm so excited that I get to start on a communion Sunday. This is a humbling calling, and it is my hope and prayer that I be a good pastor for these people and their community. They seem so amazing, and I hope that we have a good time together.<br /><br />Something really neat about my new congregation (one of many, many things that makes them flippin' sweet) is that when we were interviewing, they told me that they were the only church left in the town. This being the case, they said they wanted their pastor to be a "COMMUNITY PASTOR." They wanted to make sure the pastor would not sit holed up in the office all day every day, but instead to get to know not just the members of the church, but also of the village. I thought that was incredibly mission minded, and amazing.<br /><br />Anyway, I already feel very welcomed at the congregation, even with my limited exposure to them. J and I went to the Finn Hall Annual Steak Fry tonight, and that was a good time. It's a very Finnish area, and they take pride in that. The church has deep Finnish roots, so this old German is going to have to learn about the Finns. One thing I learned is that the Finns can be very "sisu," which means, "stubborn or determined." Ha ha. Thanks to the congregation council president for telling me that one.<br /><br />Seriously though, I am considering myself very blessed by all of this. I am excited, and a little scared (as I always am with anything new), and I hope that I am a good pastor. I hope I don't make any huge mistakes, and that I can be an effective and engaging preacher and teacher. I have many hopes, worries, and ideas, and I am hopeful that the Christ who walks on water will beckon me also onto the surface, and will catch me when I begin to sink.Trishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06294097445410074924noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8404365.post-56757084976011938582011-02-23T23:26:00.002-06:002011-02-23T23:42:01.005-06:00Movin' on UpWell, hmm.<br /><br />Today was a big day for senior seminarians in the ELCA. Most of us got our regional assignments today on a piece of paper in an envelope in our mailboxes (that's how we did it at our seminary, anyway). I already know my region and synod because J is a rostered leader and bishops don't like to give up their rostered leaders. It's been kind of nice to not have to worry about where I'm going, but again, I find that I ventured away from "the norm" on this one. I didn't have to worry about doing CPE in between junior and middler year because I did an extended unit my first semester here. I didn't have to worry about being flung to some state about which I knew nothing for internship because I was married (though there was anxiety regarding the question of whether or not I'd actually get to live with my new husband). And now, I know where I'm going for first call because J is a pastor. I find it slightly odd that each step along the way, I've had a slightly different experience from a lot of others. Oh well. The majority of my classmates are waiting to see what synod they'll be assigned to. Bishops can start calling on March 3rd for most of us, though one region is earlier, and one is later. Please continue to pray about this.<br /><br />I'm looking forward to first call. I like North Dakota well enough. The people are great, the scenery has its own unique beauty, and the winters are...interesting. The ONLY thing I really dislike about North Dakota is that it is 800 miles away from my family. I have always been very close to my sisters, and I think we all three are grieving that I will not be around much for the next (at least) three years (probably). Yet, the call of God to serve the Church is not always full of sunshine and roses. Certainly, I don't think I am DOOMED because I won't be near my sisters (and brothers and nephews), but I have realized even more fully these past 11 months HOW VERY IMPORTANT family is. I will miss my sisters, but I have hope that someday J and I will move back to be closer to them. I don't need to be ridiculously close, but 13 1/2 hours is a bit excessive.<br /><br />Anyway, I keep reminding myself that we get vacations. We have phones and webcams and some of us keep in touch via Facebook. And, I am married and love my husband and want to live with him. And, it's also kind of fun and interesting in its own way that I am the only one in my family who is flung far and wide. <br /><br />I know that many of my classmates are having similar reactions to their own assignments; a mix of grief and excitement and wondering what is next. I know that some of us are happier than others, and I know that many of us are in different places regarding accepting the changes coming our way. But most importantly, I know and deeply trust that God is present through all of this. The Holy Spirit has called and continues to call us to be messengers of the Good News of Jesus Christ. I know it because I see it and live it every day as I live in community with my amazingly talented and thoughtful classmates, and as I live in community with the wider church and the world. <br /><br />Please continue to pray for all seminarians, their families, and the places to which we will be called. God hears our prayers.Trishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06294097445410074924noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8404365.post-14454214816831376722011-02-20T00:13:00.002-06:002011-02-20T00:19:36.109-06:00SenioritisI just wanted to put it in writing that I'm really not into this semester. Ha.<br /><br />I am SO ready to be done with school that I am having a really hard time focusing on classwork. Although, all of us are required to do Spiritual Practices 2, which is a class that focuses on our nutrition, spiritual, and exercise lives. I'm digging this because I'm working on losing some weight and so when I'm down in the Re-Formation room (haha, get it?), or when I'm playing on my Wii Fit Plus, I don't feel guilty because I'm "doing homework." Anyway, we shouldn't feel guilty for taking care of ourselves, anyway. I'm also trying to be a bit more intentional about devotional practices, too. But my "devotion time" is usually involves music (specifically hymns), and being musical isn't something I like doing when there is a chance other people might here me. So, I don't always engage myself. Anyway.<br /><br />Also, there is really good news on the ol' family front... I'm excited, and will tell you later when I am given the go-ahead. And for the record, no-I am not having a baby. <br /><br />Anyway, that's about it for now. Peace out.Trishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06294097445410074924noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8404365.post-10590067242290678142011-02-08T22:51:00.003-06:002011-02-08T23:19:48.017-06:00The light at the end of the tunnel...Well, here I sit, at my desk in my dorm room, realizing that this is the last semester I will ever "get" to live in a dorm. I have, for the most part, enjoyed my dorm dwelling days, though I do find it frustrating sometimes. Such is life.<br /><br />I realized the other day that I haven't posted on here in a very long time. I think I only had something like fourteen posts in 2010. Woops. My bad; I had other stuff going on.<br /><br />Since my last post, some things have happened. My hard drive had massive failure in mid-December. I was not able to recover anything from it. However, I did find several of my assignments from last semester still hanging around in my "sent items" folder from school. Victory #1. Also, I found my flash drive and realized that I had EVERY SINGLE FILE from my internship on there. When I was finishing internship, I took my flash drive to my office, put all my office files on there to move them to my laptop, and then never deleted them from the flash. Awesome. Victory #2! Really, there's nothing too horrible that I lost... I did lose three year's worth of Prayers of Intercession, all of my college files, and many of my seminary files. I lost a lot of pictures, music, and a letter I wrote to my mom when she was sick, but that I never gave her. I'm grateful for Facebook because many of my pictures are in albums on my FB page. Since then, I had a new hard drive put in my computer, and have that all squared away. Now I just need to wait for external hard drives to be on sale (or for my husband to let me put my stuff on his), and backup my files.<br /><br />During the month of January, J and I took an 11-day vacation. We had Christmas with his family in Minnesota, went to Illinois for my approval interview (the last official step with the Candidacy Committee), had Christmas with my family, went back to Minnesota to see J's grandma, then headed home. Good news-I was approved for ordained ministry in the ELCA. I'm pleased about this affirmation, and am pleased that they see the call that I have for this ministry. It is good to be "done" with that.<br /><br />During January, I also worked diligently on my January Interim (J-term) project. I worked it out with my advisor and school for me to do an independent study. I worked hard, read a lot, thought a lot, and wrote a lot. The final project ended up being 23 pages (including 2 pages of resource information in an annotated bibliography style). The title is, "With Sighs Too Deep: A Pastoral Resource Regarding Dementia." The project was my effort at creating a biblical, theological, and pastoral resource for people to use. My advisor told me that she wanted me to also make it personal, because that would bring it alive for people. So, I wrote and wrote and wrote, trying to integrate the Bible, theology, pastoral care, and my own experience with dementia together in a cohesive, engaging, and helpful way. I was slightly worried when I handed it in when I came back to school because I'd never done an independent study before, and I wasn't sure that what I did was exactly what my advisor was expecting.<br /><br />I found the paper in my campus mailbox the first week of class. I was on my way to a "clergy tax seminar" on campus. When I got there, I opened the binder (I wanted it to look professional!), and flipped through the pages looking for comments and the like. I like comments because they give me a better idea of what works vs. just seeing a letter or the wonderful words, "CR." Anyway, there weren't too many comments, but when I got to the last page of text (before the resources), I saw that she had written at the bottom of the page. Apparently, I did a good job because the comments she gave me were really humbling. She even mentioned that she would like to see me find a way to distribute my work to a larger audience. She and I are exploring a possibility or two, and in the meantime, I have offered it to people who indicate an interest. I hope that it is helpful in some fashion or another for all who read it. I am passionate about the subject of dementia and of helping people to know God's comforting, redeeming, and loving presence in the midst of such catastrophic forgetting. I'm also excited that it was so well received by my advisor/grader and that she is helping me find a way to distribute it more widely.<br /><br />Apart from these things, school is back in session. Four years has really flown by. When I was an underclasswoman, all the seniors used to say, "Seminary time really flies!" I always thought, "Yeah right!" But as I sit here in MY last semester, I can't help but agree. It's amazing. I'm excited to serve the Church professionally, and I am excited at what might happen in the future. I realized the other day that people must already see me as "pastor-like." I knew this was the case for SOME people, such as those who I served while on internship, but the realization has deepened. I have been asked many theological and practical church questions in the past few weeks, and I have been involved in several pastoral care and theological conversations with people from back home, as well. About half the time, the people have prefaced the question or conversation with, "I've been thinking about xyz, and I thought, 'Who better to talk/ask than Trisha!'" It's slightly daunting, but even more exciting at the same time. I enjoy it, and am continuing to live into the knowledge that God gifts people for ministry in many ways; one of which is by gifting the Church with teachers and leaders who help shape us.<br /><br />Anyway, that is what has been going on in my life lately. I hope you and yours are well.Trishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06294097445410074924noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8404365.post-38489923509429876562010-12-09T16:50:00.006-06:002010-12-09T17:18:56.525-06:00DreamEver since I have been a small child, I've always had very vivid dreams. I remember a dream that I had from the time I was around 4 or 5 because it was so vivid, even. Often, I consider it a gift to have such an active subconscious, but sometimes I am troubled by what my brain brings up. But, on the whole, I appreciate the visions of sugarplums that dance through my head. <br /><br />I think that because of my long history of vivid dreams, and the fact that I remember many of them has helped me become fairly good at decoding what they are saying. Often, I think back to what was on my mind before I went to sleep, and can then figure things out.<br /><br />I had a dream yesterday that was very odd. I finished my annotated bibliography for a class, took the book back to the library, and sat down at my desk to send it off to the professors. However, I was quickly sidetracked by a horrible bout of nausea (figures, right?). So, I went to lie down on my bed. Soon enough, I was asleep and dreaming this:<br /><br />I was down in this big basement like room because I was following a bear. It was like I was going into a water level in Super Mario Bros, though it wasn't cartoon-like. It was dark, and I think I had come down a pipe. I jumped off the little platform and into the water. The water didn't really make me feel cold or anything; it was simply something in the dream. As I swam along, I found myself soon enough at this really gross little house that was on stilts to keep it out of the water. It looked all black and mildewy and everything. As the house came into my sight, I also saw the bear I had been following. It was also swimming, but just as I got it in my sight, it pulled this big hose that had a plug on it. I realized it was draining all the water out of the big room, so I went right back to the platform to try to get out, but too much water was already gone. I couldn't get back up onto the platform. Soon, all the water was gone and the bear was backing me against a wall. I was very scared as it continued to back me up until my back was against the wall. But, as I backed into the wall, I looked down and saw a bunch of really long 2x4s right there. As I looked down at them, it didn't register in my brain to pick one up. The bear was snarling at me, and at this point I picked up one of the 2x4s and started swinging it at the beast. Even though the bear was very close to me, I still missed. But, the bear started backing away anyway and then it turned into a less scary thing; a man. It was at this point that I woke up, gasping for breath because I was so scared. <br /><br />As I lie there in my bed, I thought, "What a strange dream. I wonder what it means." Then, out of the blue, the meaning hit me. The bear was dementia and the big room was grief. The dementia pulled the plug and made me stuck in grief even though I tried to get out of it. When the dementia started coming after me, I didn't know what to do about it and I felt trapped. I saw tools to help and eventually picked one up and used it to help me. I missed because dementia is such a huge opponent, but I felt empowered. When I felt empowered, the bear (dementia) turned into the man (something more manageable). I was fighting it back because I needed to before it ate me up. I kept missing the bear but it kept backing away. <br /><br />And that's the meaning that came and whacked me upside the head. I have found myself wondering what the water is, but I don't think it had much to do with the dream. I wasn't cold because of it, nor was I drowning in it. It was just something that was. Often, I see water as a symbol for chaos in dreams, but that doesn't fit in this one because the chaos seems to increase with dementia because a person can feel so helpless. I also do not quite know what the gross house was about. Other than maybe the house is symbolic of the brain. The fact that it was covered in mildew (akin to plaques afflicting those with Alzheimer's, or like the blocking of blood vessels due to vascular dementia), and that it was far too small for the bear to live in makes me think that the house is symbolic of the brain. I don't know. Those two things didn't "come to me" the way the rest of the meaning did.<br /><br />Anyway, I just wanted to share that dream because of the odd circumstances around it. I very rarely wake up gasping for air, but I was really afraid in this dream, and I was also really putting forth an effort to hit the bear with the 2x4. Crazy, I know. But, also an interesting look into my subconscious.Trishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06294097445410074924noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8404365.post-17866616436192257542010-11-29T11:25:00.004-06:002010-11-29T11:46:56.555-06:00'Tis the Season...Well, folks, here we are at the end of November. It's hard to believe this year is almost over already. Yesterday was the first Sunday in Advent. Three more Sundays of Advent, and then we find ourselves at Christmas. <br /><br />This is also the season of "end of the semester crunch." That sounds like a cereal tagline. "Stressy-O's-they've got that great end of the semester crunch." Haha.<br /><br />Anyway...In chapel today, our senior preacher talked about the hustle and bustle of the "Christmas Season," meaning how secular culture hijacks the month of December to hawk their wares and get out of the red. He talked of how Christ's birth means more than that. These words were a good reminder.<br /><br />I find it hard to believe all that has happened since last Christmas. I am a person who often measures time by looking at significant events that have occurred. I remember when X happened because it happened near when Y happened, or on the anniversary of Z, or whatever. Since last Christmas, the hubster and I went on the "Tour de Sushi" vacation, Hub and I celebrated our first married Christmas and Valentine's Day, I made the trip back to Illinois twice to be with my sick and dying mother and then for her death and funeral. I chanted in front of 400 people during Easter morning worship as the intern pastor, among other duties I held as an intern until my experience was over on May 30th. Housewifing for a couple of months held my time, as well as another vacation, skydiving, bringing two of my three nephews to stay with us in ND for a week, and then moving back to school the same weekend as a good high school friend got married. My first semester of senior year is quickly drawing to a close, but not before my first birthday as an orphan, and the dawn of "the Holidays" with this same reality for me and my siblings and countless other people in the world who have experienced the death of loved ones this year.<br /><br />With all of these truths, with all the joys and sorrows that have come this year, the importance of Christ's presence with and for this world is a great truth to remember. The love of God in Christ Jesus is not something that takes away the hurt and grief of no longer having mom and dad, grandma and grandpa, and other loved ones, but this presence IS a reminder that through it all, we are not forsaken. We are not forgotten. The ones we have lost are not forsaken or forgotten. I take comfort in Jesus words in Matthew 28:20, "And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age."<br /><br />The world DOES change. Things happen that we wish wouldn't. Pain and happiness mingle together; poignantly at such a time in the year when so much time and energy is spent on "family." And so, with the new reality for me that has only come through my orphanhood, I am learning to embrace "the Holidays," not with a fake, plastered on smile, but with authenticity, with a renewed sensitivity to others, and with the assurance of my Lord and my God: "I am with you always," to love, to forgive, and to offer life where once there was death.Trishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06294097445410074924noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8404365.post-9209067700438249682010-11-01T20:12:00.003-05:002010-11-01T20:22:24.484-05:00For All the SaintsToday is All Saints Day; a day in the Church where we remember the saints triumphant (those who have died in Christ) and the saints militant (those who are still living). <br /><br />In chapel this morning, the leaders read off all the names that were given to them of people related to the community who have died since last year's All Saints celebration. What struck me was how MANY names were read off. I personally knew of several of the people, and some that weren't mentioned. But there were a lot of names brought forth to remember this day. What a reminder of the faith around us and how we all live in the ripples. <br /><br />I am grateful this day for the example of faith that has been shown to me through many saints. This year, obviously, All Saints Day has taken a slightly different bent, and yet I remember my mom at the same time that many people remember parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents, and friends. <br /><br />This community is one that has experienced loss this year. We have grieved the loss of a friend and classmate, the loss of parents (I'm not the only one by far), the loss of loved ones. And yet we still gather to worship, to embrace one another in friendship, and to serve the God who has called us in our baptism to be in this place for a time. We prepare to be sent out in service to the God who calls us to be salt for the earth. <br /><br />We do so because God has given us people to love and to serve for Christ's sake in the power of the Holy Spirit. For those who have gone before, rest in peace in the love and mercy of Almighty God.Trishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06294097445410074924noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8404365.post-15954418488051022442010-10-19T00:02:00.002-05:002010-10-19T00:10:33.234-05:00Time heals all wounds?Well, friends, it has been a while. Dreadfully sorry.<br /><br />Anyway, the thing I've been thinking about lately is the saying, "Time heals all wounds."<br /><br />I call the BS card on this one.<br /><br />Time does not "heal" all wounds. I don't think "time" itself helps, even. What I DO think is that as we REFLECT on the situations in our past, we learn from them. We begin to integrate our new "changed" self into a self that has meaning. Depending upon your situation, the amount of reflection and time varies. <br /><br />It has been seven months and one day since my mom died. I just keep thinking, "Why don't I feel better about this yet?" Sure, some days are better than others, but when it comes down to it, when I'm sitting in my room all alone, I can get pretty sad. And so I reflect. And I think a part of why I don't "feel better" about it "yet," is that I'm still going through that first year. There are lots of things that enter my mind that are new. For instance, October 14th was a hard day because that was the anniversary of the day Mom's bladder cancer basically invaded into our lives. And the surgery to fix that was what caused her cognition to seriously deteriorate. Another example of "new" things that calls for reflection and grief is something others might find silly. I am a tactile person. I like to touch things. I often run my hand along the wall as I am walking. As I was walking down the hall to my room the other day, all of a sudden, a vision from my past flashed in my mind. It was of me walking up the stairs with my hand on one wall and Mom holding my other hand. The memory was one of fondness, but tinged with pain as I no longer have Mom to hold my hand, and I can no longer walk up and down those stairs.<br /><br />And still, I reflect. I grieve. I pray for and think of others who grieve. I've said it before, but I'll say it again: Grief work is hard work. And not work that time itself can do.Trishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06294097445410074924noreply@blogger.com1