Wednesday, March 29, 2006

A post script (Because I'm a dork)

Ok, I just thought I'd let you all see the extent of my dorkiness by posting a lame joke I came up with. A little background: I started working at Restaurant 8 1/2 years ago as the salad girl. That means I filled up the relishes, lettuce, bread basket, and salads (Cole slaw, macaroni, marinated carrots, etc) when they got low. Anyway, so here is the joke:

One day, the relishes were having an argument with the bread basket. The carrots told the bread, "We're more important than you. We offer all sorts of vitamins and are even good for peoples' eyesight!" The bread said, "Who cares? We're more important because grains are the base of the food pyramid!" Then, the cabbage salad said, "Both of you, shut up! You're both important, and you need to listen to me. You know why? Cuz I'm the slaw 'round these parts!"

Get it? hehe. If you didn't get it, try reading the last sentence with a cowboy twang. If you still don't get it, be proud because you are not as dorky as I am! OK. That's it for now. Bye.

Random things I am doing... procrastinate from what I really SHOULD be doing. Ha. I'm bad. Right now, I'm slacking hard-core. I should be writing 2 papers, copying notes for a friend, reading some material for class, going to bed, or otherwise, just being productive. Instead... I'm writing in my blog. See, I don't deserve to live!!! Ha. I'm just kidding. Anyway, my school is stressing me out. After this semester, I have one more to go until my undergraduate studies are finished. However, both sections of the LAST class I need are full. I talked to my advisor and she said they are working on solving that problem, but I'm still slightly nervous about it. I really want to graduate with my friends in December. I'm kind of resigning myself to the fact that I probably won't get to seminary (if they decide to let me go) until August, or May, or whenever it is exactly that the fall semester starts. I imagine a January transfer is not really something that works out well. Plus the fact that I haven't had my psychological evaluations or my Entrance Interview or anything doesn't help. I wish I could have had my Entrance Interview with their entrance decision contingent upon the psychologist determining that I'm stable enough or whatever to go. Why, oh WHY did I have to take a year and a half off after high school? Actually, I know why I took the year and a half off, I just wish now that I hadn't. Hindsight people, hindsight. And with that, I think I'm going to go do one of the many things I said I needed to do. Blessings, dudes.

Friday, March 24, 2006

What to say?

Hi. I wish some of you lurkers would leave me a comment! Feel free. I love comments. It makes me feel important!

Speaking of that though, I've been thinking lately that perhaps I rely on others too much to make me feel important. I'm a beloved child of God, I shouldn't need the approval of others to feel that I have self-worth. I'm right, right?

That last sentence was a joke. Get it? I'm seeing if you agree with me... Yeah... So, I haven't been doing very well this semester at school. I've been doing primarily "B" work. You might think there is nothing wrong with "Bs," but I don't like them. I like "As." I'm trying, but this semester just seems to be really intense with all sorts of readings and papers and stuff due. If the stuff interested me a little more it might help, but alas, many of the classes I am in are simply a part of my schedule because they fit. Ah well.

Tonight at work, I was turning up the heat for some people who were cold. Unfortunately, I also had their dirty salad plates in my hand. I am a clumsy person and I dropped the not completely empty soup bowls onto the salad bar, thus necessitating the need for me to throw away some stuff that got splashed. A whole bunch of people looked at me, too. If you know me, you can thus imagine my face turning bright red. Yeah. So, then, these 2 wonderfully amazing fairly regular customers were there, and the wife made a little joke about it. But, I was kind of hard on myself and I think I inadvertently made her feel bad about poking a little fun at me. When they got up to leave, she gave me a hug. I'm not a big fan of people touching me, but this woman is so nice, and it has just been one of those weeks. Plus, she's a nice older, grandmother-type lady, so that makes me just think of my own dear Granny.

Other than these things, nothing much has been going on. I found out why I haven't heard from the synod shrink! My Initial Interviewer has not submitted her paperwork yet. Woops! Oh well, it's not like me geting mad would do any benefit to the situation. The only thing her delay has got me questioning is if she doesn't think I'd be a good candidate... Or is she simply a procrastinator like so many other people I know (including me)? I don't know. I do know that I really enjoy using the gifts I've been given, and that I am exhilarated and enthusiastic about leading worship and preaching. I get to lead worship/preach on the last Sunday in April. I'm VERY excited about this. It seems like it's been forever since I've led worship. It is also a tentative plan that I get to do two consecutive sundays at the end of July. VERY, VERY excited. Anyway, I have to go put my clothes in the dryer and go to bed. I'm a tired girl. :) Thanks for reading. Before leaving, please say hello!

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

In the spirit of Lent...

I feel very penitent today. So much so, that I think it is important to post about the order of service of Individual Confession and Forgiveness beginning on page 196 of the Lutheran Book of Worship.

"O Lord, open my lips, and my mouth shall declare your praise.
Had you desired it, I would have offered sacrifice,
but you take no delight in burnt offerings.
The sacrifice of God is a troubled spirit;
a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.
Have mercy on me, O God, according to your lovingkindness;
in your great compassion blot out my offenses.
Wash me through and through from my wickedness,
and cleanse me from my sin." (Ps. 51:16-18, 1-2).

From that point onward, a person says a few other very important things about being free in Christ to confess the sins of which she is aware and the sins that trouble her.

I have found myself lately to be sinful in my relationship to someone I say I love. Instead of seeking healing for our damaged relationship, I seek to further myself from her. Instead of helping her, I try to avoid her. I do not love or honor her as my Lord charges me to do, but I merely focus on how I feel about her situation, and do not try to see her life and illness in the manner in which she sees it. I am guilty of being selfish and narrow, unkind and dismissive, and unable to rectify this situation at my own behest.

"For all this I am sorry and I pray for forgiveness. I want to do better." LBW 196.

Penitence. Lent. Forgiveness. This season of the Church year makes me ever more aware of the days of hell that I made my Lord endure because of this sin, and every other sin I've ever committed. It is my prayer that my penitent heart might be pleasing to the One in whose name I strive to serve.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Isn't it supposed to be spring?

Ha. Yesterday was the first day of spring. yay. Well, it's supposed to be yay, but today, we got lots and lots of snow! I saw the weather report yesterday at Mooching Monday that said we were supposed to get 3-6 inches of snow. So, when I got home last night, I set my alarm to wake me up plenty early so I could have a lot of time to get to school. Well, I got up and looked outside. I couldn't see the village hall which is about 2 blocks from my house. So then, I got online and looked at the Illinois Department of Transportation's website which said that the roads I needed to travel on were patchy at best, and ice and snow packed at worst. So, I turned on the early morning news and noticed that basically all of the schools from my old school southward were closed. That's when I decided to call in and tell my professors I wouldn't be making it in today. So, my spring break was extended an extra day. So, this week, I will only have been present one day (because my Monday/Wednesday class got over with at midterm, so now I only have Tuesday/Thursday classes). I hate not going in, and I ruined my perfect attendance, but I REALLY hate driving in inclement weather. And to my credit, this is the first time I've let the weather keep me from class. Ah, the joys of being a commuter student. It's just going to suck having to catch up on the 5 classes I missed today. But, that's enough of that.

There really is nothing new going on with my application to candidacy. My Initial Interview was almost 2 months ago, and the synod psychologist still hasn't contacted me about doing my psychological evaluation. I'm slightly frustrated with this. I think Pastor is too. He emailed the synod and they said the psychologist has not been keeping up real well with this. So, I'm disappointed, because at this point, it is too late to get my psych stuff done in time to get a meeting with the Candidacy Committee in March. The C.C. only meets 3 months out of the year, so now I think I'm going to have to wait until August. I think that's the next month they convene. Ah well. Maybe I'll suggest to them that I call this shrink, considering he's not calling me. I don't know if that's allowed though. Hmm. Maybe if we pester him enough, he'll get on the ball. I don't know. He's probably got a legitimate excuse, what with helping people who are in need of psychologists, but it's still frustrating to be waiting on other people in order for my life to move forward along this path. I am a doer, and so it irks me when things do not get done. This is where I chant, "Patience is a virtue, patience is a virtue!" :) ha. This post has been long enough. Have a nice day.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

A long, tiring, wonderfully magnificent, enlightening....

Day. Yup. Today has been a very interesting day. Actually, it started last night. I got home from work and learned that Pastor had called Ma to ask if I was available to go to the seminary he attended. There was a lecture series that he thought I might be interested in attending. Well, I was sad because I had to say no because duty called at Restaurant. Anyway, after hanging up, I thought, "Trishy, you deserve a day off. You had a Restaurant dream every night last week. It's time to get away." So, I called one of the other waitresses to see if she would switch me Wednesday for Thursday. She didn't answer her cell, however, so I simply left a message. About an hour later, she calls me back to see what I wanted. I asked her if she would switch and she said yes. I was thrilled. But then I had a moral dilemma: Do I risk waking my bosses at 10:22 P.M., (Which Miss Manners would say is breaking etiquette because her rules state you can call UP UNTIL 10:00 p.m., but no later, for most people) or do I risk not being able to go because Pastor was planning to leave at 6:15 in the morning? Well, I thought I'd better call at night that way I could have my plans squared away. So, I called and she was okay with my plans, so I was thrilled. However, by that time, there was NO way I'd call Pastor's house that late because I've driven past the parsonage at 10:30 and there are NEVER lights on that late. So, I thought I'd get up extra early, get ready, swing by his "Other" congregation to make sure he wasn't there, (Pastor has a 2 point parish) and then go to my church, which is the one by which he lives. So, since I've been spending the week at Sister's house, which is 35 minutes away from Church, I had to get up at 4:30 this morning. But, that's not the best part. The best part was that I was so excited that I couldn't fall asleep. So, by the time I fell asleep, it was about 1:00 a.m. Yay. But, I fell asleep finally, and then awoke to nothing in particular. I looked at my cell phone clock and found it to be 4:28 a.m. So, I got up, got ready, drove to Other church, drove to my church, and waited until 6 to call Pastor to make sure he hadn't made plans to meet the other people who were going someplace else. So, at 6:00 a.m. (I'm a BAD girl) I called Pastor. He laughed at me a little and then we got our plans straightened out. I went to Other church and he followed to meet up with the other people who were going. We got into the car and headed on our merry way.

3 hours later: We arrived at Seminary. I was very excited. It'd been about a year and a half since I'd been there. We got there and headed straight in for worship. I had almost forgotten what seminary worship is like. There is an AMAZING array of vocal, musical, and other gifts there. I love being able to stand there and hear all the voices singing so passionately and strong. You know how it is at home churches, where most of the people are afraid to sing loud, and so everyone just kind of murmurs. Haha. Well, that's NOT the way it has ever been when I've been to the Seminary. It's a lot of people singing in a heartfelt way to their God. I was especially taken by the group in the back who sang the Kyrie Eleison, Christe Eleison parts. Ooooh, it was great. Then, during communion, I happened to see someone who's blog I've been reading for a while. I didn't actually think I'd ever meet him in person. Well, finally, by the time we were heading out, I worked up the guts to make myself look like a complete dorkfish, so while Pastor and the others were getting their coats, I walked up to him and told him I'm a huge fan of his blog. Yup. I'm a dork. But, I had to say hi. SO, Hi! Glad to "meet" you in person. Oh, one more thing about people I "know!" I saw a guy who looked familiar, so when he was walking past me, I reached out and said, "Hey, what's your name?" and he told me and I said, "I know you!" And he said something like, "I thought you looked familiar, but from where do I know you?" And I told him that I met him at Discernment weekend, November, 2004!" So, we had a brief conversation. It was interesting to see people I actually had met prior to today. I think it's cool to see that people are actually moving forward on this journey.

But today was a good day overall. The two previous bishops and our current presiding bishop were the speakers. I thought that our current bishop did a pretty good job with his part of the lecture. I didn't realize he had a knack for humor. I really appreciate that. I also appreciated that he didn't go over his time immensely, and was able to edit some of his stuff out. However, I wish he'd been able to talk more. I also wish we'd have been able to stay and hear the questions asked of him. He seemed like an interesting, inclusive type guy, so that was something I was not totally expecting. I should keep abreast of these matters better, but alas, I do not fully know his stance on some things. Overall though, I had a splendid time today. I've had a monster headache since 3:00, but that's okay. I got to go to Lenten worship tonight, which was cool, too. Pastor was the preacher for our ecumenical service tonight and he preached on the discipline of community. It was interesting, considering that was what these bishops were basically talking about today. But, I'm back at Sis's house, typing out this huge laundry list of things I did today, and I'm sure I'm boring you all to tears! If you've made it this far, be proud. My blathering seems to know no bounds, but you must excuse me because I'm very tired now and must be heading to bed. :) Hasta la vista.

P.S. I'm sorry for not posting for over a week. Like I've said before, I'm a BAD girl!

Monday, March 06, 2006

I must be a Weirdo magnet...

It's true. I honestly think I am. There is a regular customer we have at Restaurant who is an older gentleman. He's in his 60s and I'm in my 20s (I'd say the average age of people who come in is about 60. We have lots of older folks come in). And yet, this man hits on me EVERY time he comes in. He comes in every week. And it's not just your usual, "Hey there, cutie" or something innocent like that. This guy invites me to come make out on his couch and the likes. It's very bizarre to have a 60 something year old man asking you to do that. So, he's said other various things along those lines to my boss who is "friends" with him. The guy is nice, and I think he's harmless, but my co-workers told me I should document every time he says something like that. I said, "the guy's weird, but harmless... I think" and one of my co-workers said, "You won't think that when he's waiting for you out in the alley some night." I laughed it off. Really, I think he's harmless. Anyway, today at Restaurant, I had another bizarre encounter with a stranger. I thought it was funny enough to share.

It was about 2:00 and we had absolutely NO customers in there (It snowed today and old folks don't like being out in the snow). Male boss had gone home for a while to take a nap because he wasn't feeling well. That left female boss, female teenage waitress, teenage male host, and me. Boss made us lunch and told Host and me that we could be done since no one was there. Then, the door opened and a young man came in. He asked if he could get something to eat. The sarcastic part of me wanted to say no, we don't serve food here, but I thought better of it. The guy gave me a funny feeling at first. So, we scrambled to activity as he came in and sat at the bar. He ordered a beer and asked for a menu. We gave him both and he asked Boss what the specials were. She told him what they were and he said he would take the chicken. So, Boss went back into the kitchen to make his food. Waitress didn't make him a ticket or anything. I went behind the bar and got a glass of water for him and one for me, since I was technically done. Anyway, the man started talking to me. Being the people-person I am, I conversed back with him. I could tell something was not quite right with this guy because he kept asking me if I thought he was rude in any way when he first came in. I told him that he was not rude at all. We were just waiting around for customers to come in. And he said he felt bad because we were all lounging around and he ruined that for us. I told him that we are a restaurant and it's our business for people to come in and for us to serve them. "We aim to please." He asked me what my name was and I told him. Then I asked him where he was from and what his name was and he told me. He's not from around here. So, as our conversation progressed, I asked him what he was up to today. He said, "Drinking." Waitress then said, "We can tell." This isn't necessarily something I would have said, but Waitress is very honest and blunt at times. Well, "Steve" we'll call him, wasn't very happy about that comment. Drunk people, which he was, often don't do well when people call them on their drunkenness. So he said, "I could get up and leave this establishment right now!" Sensing that this could get ugly or that he could leave before he paid for his stuff, I started talking with him more, steering him away from Waitress. Waitress has been known to tell people off before and I am not a fan of workplace tension between customers and workers. So, we continued talking about random things like where he's from, his daughter, etc. Thankfully, about that time, Male Boss comes back from his nap. I was VERY happy to see him because you never know what a young drunk man could do to 3 ladies who are alone someplace. Granted, I think I could take him out if I needed to (I'm buff, see. Yeah right!) but it's just the fact that I had such a weird feeling about him. So, I sat down on a bar stool a few away from him as he continued speaking through his drunken stupor at me. He wasn't slurring his words, but he was talking really slow and not making too much sense. So, I looked in the kitchen and saw that his food was coming up so I went back there. I brought it out to him because by that time, Waitress had left. I asked him if he needed any ketchup or anything and he said, "Ranch, please." So, I went and got him some ranch. Then he started his meal and I sat back down, and he kept commenting on how he hates to eat in front of other people. But I wasn't watching him. I couldn't even see him because I was sitting in front of him watching T.V. (I was done, what else was I supposed to do?) But then he just got engrossed in the food and was raving about how good the chicken was. After a bit, he finished his meal and I took his plate from him. Then he started talking to me again. He got on the topic of men. He said, "9% of men are nice, but they're gay. Then there's another 1 % of nice guys, but they're taken. So, you have to just find yourself a 'badass' and hang out with him for 6 months and get lots of booty." Male boss then said, "She's already done that." So he said, "You got lots of booty?" and I said, "No, but I hung out with a 'bad' guy for a while." And "Steve" said, "You didn't get no booty? You've NEVER gotten booty, have you?" and I thought, "OH MY Gosh, I can't believe this COMPLETE stranger is talking to me about sex." and I said, "No. No ring, no sex. That's the rules." And he said, "You don't know what you're missing." To which I replied, "It keeps my life uncomplicated." And he said, "How's that working for you?" And I said, "Good. I'm too busy to be engrossed in all that stuff." And he said, "Where's the fulfillment though?" And I said, "I'm plenty fulfilled." To which his reply was, "Full of shit." And I said, "Nah. I have plenty of stuff to keep me busy. Plus, that's just a lot of baggage." And he said, "What do you think about at night before you go to sleep then?" I said, "I don't think, I just sleep." And he said, "I've never met a virgin before!" And I said, "Well, here you have." And he was just flabbergasted. So flabbergasted that he flagged down the 2nd shift waitress and said, "Pardon me for asking, but are you married?" She said, "Yes, I am." He asked her then if she had sex before she was married. She replied that she had and that she had had a child before she was married (Although she did marry the father of her baby). 2nd shift waitress was smart though and just laughed and walked away. Thankfully then though, the conversation shifted to college and the likes. He has a Bachelor's degree in Psychology. He actually knew what Sociology is. But then he just kept talking and talking and I just thought, "Please leave so I can go home without feeling guilty for ditching you." Because the guy had already paid and tipped me before his food even came out. So, I felt like I couldn't just leave before him. But after a while of talking to me and Male boss, he got up, yelled goodbye into the kitchen, and staggered out the door into the snow. (Bonus points if you can tell me the name of the song from which the last clause of that sentence comes). So, I waited about 15 minutes because I didn't know if that guy was still out there or what (he had no car, we looked earlier). Maybe I'm paranoid, but drunk men scare me. They always have. Then I left, saying goodbye to all my coworkers. However, they were the new shift, so they just asked if it was ok to come back out into the bar room now. I told them "Steve" was gone, and they looked relieved. So while it was slightly amusing to entertain a drunk for an hour and a half, I never really felt comfortable with that guy, which is very unusual for me. Usually I like people or can at least be comfortable around them. Very few people in the world cause me to feel uneasy, but he was one of them; even before the sex comments. So, I hope you have been amused by my Restaurant story for the day. Have a good one. Remember, drive smart, drive sober!