Thursday, May 25, 2006
It's kind of odd.
I was blog surfing today among blogs I do not regularly read. I haven't done this for quite some time. I have my 5 or 6 blogs that I read pretty regularly and that's usually it. Today, though, I went looking for something new to read. Anyway, I stumbled upon this blog of a woman discerning a call to religious life in a sisterhood. She has an interesting post about "over toasted" baked goods and how that makes her remember her mother. It is interesting to me to read this, at all times, tonight because I've been remembering my father today because he has now been gone for eleven years. This time of year always makes me remember him and as I grow and mature, it's less sad and traumatic. Instead of thinking of how he passed away, it is now easier for me to remember the life he lived. Even more entertaining to me is the fact that my new nephew looks A LOT like him. Ever since the first time I held that child, I thought that he reminded me of someone. Well, last week, I helped Sis bathe him. When he has a wet head, his hair turns curly. That is what did it. I said, "He looks just like Dad! That's who he reminds me of!" And it seems that it is just the little things that make me look back and remember Dad. I had my RealPlayer opened tonight for the first time in months and I listened to "A Walk in the Black Forest" by Horst Jankowski, which was his favorite song. And it's just nice to be able to look back and not feel completely awful about my childhood and that one experience that usually elicits the "pity looks" and awkward comments of people who find out about that part of my journey of life. I can honestly say that my life is good the way it is. I can't always be looking back and thinking that life would be so much better if... Life is the way it is for a reason. I've come a long way spiritually, emotionally, and physically since I was 12 years old. I'm glad to be the person I am and I am thankful for the person I am becoming. And because of this, I think Dad would be proud of me.