Sunday, April 09, 2006

Some questions that have been running through my mind lately...

So, I'm sitting here, wondering, once again, about my future. Everything is so uncertain that I just find myself rather confused. Ok, so, I'm supposed to graduate in December, but at this point, I'm not really sure because they still haven't resolved the problem of opening up a space for me in the LAST required class I need to take for my major (Sociology). Therefore, that has me wondering. I really do not want to go to School for an additional semester because, frankly, I don't particularly care for School. It's too big, too impersonal, and I'm tired of living at home and commuting. So, I'm ready to be out of there. Another thing I've been wondering about is this whole Candidacy thing. I haven't been able to DO anything in the process for over 2 months now. I'm a little frustrated, because as I've said before, I'm a doer. I like hands-on things. I don't like sitting back for all this time and just letting these things go. Yes, I consider myself fairly laid-back, but at this point I find myself thinking, "Come on, come on, what's the hold up? Can't I do SOMETHING to expedite the process?" Really, now. So, I'm slightly worried about getting my psych eval and Entrance Interview done in time to apply for Seminary. And then, I find myself thinking.... Would it be so bad if I didn't transfer in January? Yes, I want to get this ball rolling, but wouldn't transferring mid-year become problematic down the road? I don't know Greek or Hebrew, so I'd be behind there... Would I have to rush rush rush in order to catch up in order to be able to go out on Internship or CPE or whatever? Also, I heard Candidates have to do 3 J-terms in order to graduate. If I transferred to Seminary in a January, I don't rightly think I'd know what to do for it, so that year would be out, another year I'd be at my Internship, so that only leaves 2 Januarys available. What would I do about that? I guess I should be asking my pastor, the assistant to the bishop, or someone else about this, but these are just questions I've been pondering lately. I'm very frustrated with my lack of faith on this issue. It is frustrating. I should (SHOULD being the operative word here) be content in knowing that God cares for me more than the sparrows of the air, but I am finding it difficult right now. What am I supposed to do? Roll with the punches? Start throwing some of my own? Throw in the towel? Ugh. I don't know. I'll leave you now with my departing words taken from one of my favorite "philosophers:" "And that's all I have to say about that."

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