It's true. I honestly think I am. There is a regular customer we have at Restaurant who is an older gentleman. He's in his 60s and I'm in my 20s (I'd say the average age of people who come in is about 60. We have lots of older folks come in). And yet, this man hits on me EVERY time he comes in. He comes in every week. And it's not just your usual, "Hey there, cutie" or something innocent like that. This guy invites me to come make out on his couch and the likes. It's very bizarre to have a 60 something year old man asking you to do that. So, he's said other various things along those lines to my boss who is "friends" with him. The guy is nice, and I think he's harmless, but my co-workers told me I should document every time he says something like that. I said, "the guy's weird, but harmless... I think" and one of my co-workers said, "You won't think that when he's waiting for you out in the alley some night." I laughed it off. Really, I think he's harmless. Anyway, today at Restaurant, I had another bizarre encounter with a stranger. I thought it was funny enough to share.
It was about 2:00 and we had absolutely NO customers in there (It snowed today and old folks don't like being out in the snow). Male boss had gone home for a while to take a nap because he wasn't feeling well. That left female boss, female teenage waitress, teenage male host, and me. Boss made us lunch and told Host and me that we could be done since no one was there. Then, the door opened and a young man came in. He asked if he could get something to eat. The sarcastic part of me wanted to say no, we don't serve food here, but I thought better of it. The guy gave me a funny feeling at first. So, we scrambled to activity as he came in and sat at the bar. He ordered a beer and asked for a menu. We gave him both and he asked Boss what the specials were. She told him what they were and he said he would take the chicken. So, Boss went back into the kitchen to make his food. Waitress didn't make him a ticket or anything. I went behind the bar and got a glass of water for him and one for me, since I was technically done. Anyway, the man started talking to me. Being the people-person I am, I conversed back with him. I could tell something was not quite right with this guy because he kept asking me if I thought he was rude in any way when he first came in. I told him that he was not rude at all. We were just waiting around for customers to come in. And he said he felt bad because we were all lounging around and he ruined that for us. I told him that we are a restaurant and it's our business for people to come in and for us to serve them. "We aim to please." He asked me what my name was and I told him. Then I asked him where he was from and what his name was and he told me. He's not from around here. So, as our conversation progressed, I asked him what he was up to today. He said, "Drinking." Waitress then said, "We can tell." This isn't necessarily something I would have said, but Waitress is very honest and blunt at times. Well, "Steve" we'll call him, wasn't very happy about that comment. Drunk people, which he was, often don't do well when people call them on their drunkenness. So he said, "I could get up and leave this establishment right now!" Sensing that this could get ugly or that he could leave before he paid for his stuff, I started talking with him more, steering him away from Waitress. Waitress has been known to tell people off before and I am not a fan of workplace tension between customers and workers. So, we continued talking about random things like where he's from, his daughter, etc. Thankfully, about that time, Male Boss comes back from his nap. I was VERY happy to see him because you never know what a young drunk man could do to 3 ladies who are alone someplace. Granted, I think I could take him out if I needed to (I'm buff, see. Yeah right!) but it's just the fact that I had such a weird feeling about him. So, I sat down on a bar stool a few away from him as he continued speaking through his drunken stupor at me. He wasn't slurring his words, but he was talking really slow and not making too much sense. So, I looked in the kitchen and saw that his food was coming up so I went back there. I brought it out to him because by that time, Waitress had left. I asked him if he needed any ketchup or anything and he said, "Ranch, please." So, I went and got him some ranch. Then he started his meal and I sat back down, and he kept commenting on how he hates to eat in front of other people. But I wasn't watching him. I couldn't even see him because I was sitting in front of him watching T.V. (I was done, what else was I supposed to do?) But then he just got engrossed in the food and was raving about how good the chicken was. After a bit, he finished his meal and I took his plate from him. Then he started talking to me again. He got on the topic of men. He said, "9% of men are nice, but they're gay. Then there's another 1 % of nice guys, but they're taken. So, you have to just find yourself a 'badass' and hang out with him for 6 months and get lots of booty." Male boss then said, "She's already done that." So he said, "You got lots of booty?" and I said, "No, but I hung out with a 'bad' guy for a while." And "Steve" said, "You didn't get no booty? You've NEVER gotten booty, have you?" and I thought, "OH MY Gosh, I can't believe this COMPLETE stranger is talking to me about sex." and I said, "No. No ring, no sex. That's the rules." And he said, "You don't know what you're missing." To which I replied, "It keeps my life uncomplicated." And he said, "How's that working for you?" And I said, "Good. I'm too busy to be engrossed in all that stuff." And he said, "Where's the fulfillment though?" And I said, "I'm plenty fulfilled." To which his reply was, "Full of shit." And I said, "Nah. I have plenty of stuff to keep me busy. Plus, that's just a lot of baggage." And he said, "What do you think about at night before you go to sleep then?" I said, "I don't think, I just sleep." And he said, "I've never met a virgin before!" And I said, "Well, here you have." And he was just flabbergasted. So flabbergasted that he flagged down the 2nd shift waitress and said, "Pardon me for asking, but are you married?" She said, "Yes, I am." He asked her then if she had sex before she was married. She replied that she had and that she had had a child before she was married (Although she did marry the father of her baby). 2nd shift waitress was smart though and just laughed and walked away. Thankfully then though, the conversation shifted to college and the likes. He has a Bachelor's degree in Psychology. He actually knew what Sociology is. But then he just kept talking and talking and I just thought, "Please leave so I can go home without feeling guilty for ditching you." Because the guy had already paid and tipped me before his food even came out. So, I felt like I couldn't just leave before him. But after a while of talking to me and Male boss, he got up, yelled goodbye into the kitchen, and staggered out the door into the snow. (Bonus points if you can tell me the name of the song from which the last clause of that sentence comes). So, I waited about 15 minutes because I didn't know if that guy was still out there or what (he had no car, we looked earlier). Maybe I'm paranoid, but drunk men scare me. They always have. Then I left, saying goodbye to all my coworkers. However, they were the new shift, so they just asked if it was ok to come back out into the bar room now. I told them "Steve" was gone, and they looked relieved. So while it was slightly amusing to entertain a drunk for an hour and a half, I never really felt comfortable with that guy, which is very unusual for me. Usually I like people or can at least be comfortable around them. Very few people in the world cause me to feel uneasy, but he was one of them; even before the sex comments. So, I hope you have been amused by my Restaurant story for the day. Have a good one. Remember, drive smart, drive sober!
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