Sunday, January 29, 2006

Why?

The other night at Restaurant, one of my Wednesday night regulars came in. This man comes in always by himself and always at the very beginning of the night. He arrives, sits at the same table 99% of the time, orders the same thing, and then talks to me. Over the years he has been coming there, we've come to be what I consider friends. He's an older gentleman, having just turned 60. Sometimes he says weird things to me or hugs me, which I'm not really comfortable with, but since we're friends, I just shrug it off. Anyway, this man is a hard-core Catholic. We occasionally talk religion, though we don't get into it too deeply because Restaurant is not the time nor the place to get into theological debates. But, I digress. So, on Wednesday he came in and asked me how my semester has been going. I tell him that it's pretty good; I have 3 really neat classes (so far), one semi-cool class, and one really, really, REALLY boring class. I then said I am excited because I am now a senior. Then he asks me, "Does School have job placement services?" To which I reply, "I hope I don't need them. I would like to continue with my education." Then he asks me where I want to go and I told him the town it is in. He asks me what school this town is it that I want to go to and I told him. He says, "To be a minister?" And, me, not having told him of my vocational hopes, get a little red in the face for being found out. I told him that I hope that is what I will eventually get to do. And our conversation progressed with him kind of accusing me of not wanting to confide in him and I said, "I just wasn't sure how you'd feel about it." And he said that he will be my friend regardless, even though he disagrees. So, I was a little disappointed that he was not happy for me. He's a Catholic, yes, but many of my Catholic acquaintances are happy for me. Why can't he be? And the main question is, "Why am I so disappointed in the fact he is not happy for me?" It shouldn't matter. I believe that God has gifted me in certain areas and I believe that it is for His service. And I have thankfully been granted with a desire to learn. In my discernment thus far, I believe that He has led me to this juncture in my life. I look forward and hope that public ministry is something that lies ahead for me. Many people in many different denominations around the world wholeheartedly endorse and call women pastors. I read an article once that said 9 out of 10 Catholic scholars approve of female ordination. I guess it just hurts because people like for their friends to be with them and support them in the decisions they make; especially the big ones that are not just "Fly by the seat of your pants" decisions. I guess it is wrong of me to expect all of my friends to be happy for me in this. I should be happy that he still wants to be my friend because some people would say, "You don't believe like I do, therefore we cannot be friends." I guess this has opened my eyes a little more to the naive hopes and feelings I have. I need to develop a thicker skin because I'm sure that his will not be the last "negative" comments I will hear about this matter. It is just my prayer that God would be glorified in my life and have His will be done, despite what certain other people might say. Thank you for reading.

1 comment:

Jae said...

Blah to him. I think what you're doing is incredibly brave all around. Shame on him for not being encouraging, even if he doesn't agree. I think that's purely sour grapes on his part.

I think you're doing something pretty gutsy and awesome.

Cheers to you!