Tuesday, March 20, 2007

I am really frustrated. I am really sad. I wish I had the capability of crying, but for some odd reason, I can't do it. I try to WILL myself to cry, hoping that it would make me able to feel like I'm releasing some of the emotions inside of me, but the tears won't come. And in fact, I don't really know for sure why I'm writing all this. Maybe it's because this IS a way for me to release my emotions. I don't know. I just know that my mother is 67 freaking years old, and she's going to live in a nursing home. And it really drives home #3 in the 5 things you can't change: Life isn't always fair.
Boo.

3 comments:

Tara Ulrich said...

Wow....Im sorry to hear that. I dont know if Ive told you this but it is something I need to tell you now because I think it will help. As I think you already know, my mom is manic/bipolar and has been living in a nursing home/group home for the last three or so years. I had a hard time too. There were times I wanted to cry too and couldnt. I eventually got to a point though where I could cry. Just know I am thinking of you and if you ever want to talk, Im here. (((Trish))) And you are right sometimes life isnt fair.

Anonymous said...

It is a very hard time. I am sure you are going through a grieving time. Keep sharing.

A friend of mine wrote a book called Suddenly Your World Falls Apart. It will be my next read, my wife said it was very good as did our pastor. I don't think grief only comes through physical death of a loved one but also through death (change) in our relationships and circumstances too.

Unknown said...

trish i'm only just getting caught up on your blog (darned work anyway) and i just wanted to send you some more *hugs* i know it's not much, but just know that i am thinking of you and praying for you and your family. i love you!