Saturday, June 16, 2007

Catharsis, or TMI?

Ok, so there is some family drama going on here. My oldest brother's wife keeps saying that she's leaving. She "can't handle" taking care of my mother. She says, "I'm doing this all alone. I need to move" blah blah blah. "Those girls asked me to take care of their mom, and they don't help me at all." Yak yak yak..

Well, let me say one damn thing. Where has she been for the past 3 1/2 years when it was fricking ME doing it all alone? When I saw my other brother and his wife FAR MORE than I saw my oldest brother and his wife. Oldest brother lives 6 blocks away and other brother lives 2 1/2 hours away. Mmmhmm. I guess the part that really irks my bubbles is that she's playing this huge martyr role like "boohoo, no one helps me." Guess what? I already played that game and I didn't moan and groan about it! And I'm STILL doing what I can to help, but I think I've earned a bit of a break. Sorry for valuing my mental health.

And I guess I'm also annoyed and angered that she is just so stupid to us about this. She called me the other day to ask me if I could come over and watch my mom. She called about 15 minutes before she wanted to leave. I couldn't get out of Sis' house, because I was helping her with Howard. (This was when she wasn't able to lift, yet). And I said, "Sorry, I can't come right now. If you want, I can make it in a few hours." And she said, "No." and then hung up on me. I called back to talk to my brother and she answered and was nasty to me. I've never treated her with anything but support and kindness, and I am just not appreciative at all that she's being so mean about it all. It's not our fault that her marriage is breaking up. We NEVER asked her to take care of our mother.

She's just so bitter and martyr-ish and it just drives me nuts. Ma's mental decline is tough for all of us, and she has NOT been doing all this stuff by herself. She's bitter, and I wasn't bitter, but now it's starting to creep in. So, hopefully, this isn't too much information, but I am just so angry.

I don't know if I should calm down some and calmly go talk to her, or if I should just let it slide since "she's leaving" in about two weeks. She's not a very rational person. Other brother's wife says she isn't "evolved" enough to have an adult conversation. Who knows? All I know is that the drama she brings is not appreciated or needed.


Jae said...

You did it because she's your mama. Your mom isn't your sister in law's mom and therefore she doesn't have the connection or the commitment you have/had. Granted, she should have known that marriage wasn't always going to be roses but this is a huge strain on a marriage. I'm not qualifying or justifying, especially this is when her husband needs her the most.

Just postulating...

Jacki said...

just wanted to leave a *hug* and say sorry i haven't been around the time i get home from staring at the computer for 9 hours a day i don't feel like sitting down to mine either...anywho, best of luck to dealing with your family and your mom. i'm not in the exact same position but there is starting to be lots of tension around home with dealing with my gramma :( so more *hugs* and i'll talk to you soon!