Monday, May 12, 2008

I don't care about a Title right now.

Saturday night, Sis called me around 10:30 or so. Ma was going down the hall at the home to say goodnight to some lady she calls, "Grandma," when she turned, lost her balance, fell, and broke her hip. They took her to the hospital and Sis and YS called me from the Emergency Department. Thankfully, she didn't break the whole ball of her hip; just the piece that curves around. That meant that she didn't need a whole hip replacement.

So, when Sis called, I was on MSN talking with a seminary friend. I told her what happened after I hung up because I was conflicted on whether or not I should go home, considering this week is Finals Week. Friend asked me what my gut feeling about it was, and I said I wanted to go. It's good to have people help you sort through these sorts of things when your mind is going around in circles and it's hard to tell which way is up. So, I decided to go, and so I realized I would need to email my extended family and some of Ma's old friends to let them know this happened. I also thought it best to email the profs I have on Monday in case something were to go wrong, that way they would know why I was absent. I also txt messaged a friend here at the Castle. I was going to tell her I was going home and would not be riding to church the next day. She called and came right up, which was helpful. When she got here, I was pretty much babbling like an idiot, trying to compose the email to the profs. So, Friend typed it for me. She also helped me pack, making sure I didn't forget anything important.

Then, I headed out. Packing Friend texted me on the way, and so did another friend who was with Packing Friend when I told her what was up. The drive from Seminary to "home" is about 3 hours or so. It downpoured the WHOLE WAY HOME! I thought I was going to die a couple of times. But, I didn't, thankfully. I made it "home," and Sis got back from being with Ma at the hospital about ten minutes after I got there. Ma was actually talking in non-words that night. But then, Sis and I made plans about Sunday's surgery; what time to leave and what not. So, we went to sleep. I was able to go to church because Ma's surgery wasn't scheduled until at least 11:00 or so. So, I went to church, and I'm glad. Since it was Mother's Day, I figured Pastor and his wife and sons would have something planned, so I didn't expect to see him at the hospital. However, I needed some sort of Pastoral Care. I got it at "sharing the peace" time. Pastor came up to me and put his hand on my arm in the "hey, I'm with you" way. I'm not big on being touched, and I think he knows that in some way (body language), but I appreciated it on Sunday. I am, however, working on this "personal space" thing. I'm very grateful for the hugs and shoulder pats I've gotten today.

Sis, YS, YSB, and I then went to the hospital after church. Mom was sleeping because they had given her some morphine. She woke up for a few minutes and I tried to make a joke about how if she wanted us all to come home for Mother's Day, all she had to do was ask. She just kind of stared at me. No laugh or anything. That was really disappointing because my mom used to have a really good sense of humor. I think I'm funnier than she is, but I also believe that her influence helped shape my sense of humor. My older brother (the one who is cool) and his wife met us at the hospital a little while later. Mom was so out of it, so we just stayed in the lounge about 15 feet from her room. Then, they came and took Ma for surgery. Sis and I rode down the elevator with her to say goodbye, although we were kind of confused about what was happening. I was disappointed that the rest of the family didn't get to wish her well.

The surgery took about an hour and a half or two hours. When all was said and done, the doctor came out to talk to us. He told us that she would be able to bear weight on it today, even because they only had to replace the piece of bone she broke. He also asked about her dementia. I got to be the mouthpiece of the family because I am good at keeping those sorts of dates and timeframes in my head. When Mom first became unable to recall this sort of thing and Sis had to do it, they had me write down all of her diagnosis and surgery dates.

So, we got to go back up to the Med-Surg floor after about an hour to see her. She was totally out of it. She was wearing an oxygen mask. She has problems with her blood pressure after surgery, and I think they probably gave her the oxygen to help that, too. She slept the rest of the day. We stayed in the lounge until about 6:30 that night, but then decided to go because the nurse said she'd probably sleep the rest of the day and into tomorrow. While we had been waiting, I went in to check on her once to see if she was asleep and I just looked at her. She's so small and frail. She looks just like her mom did when she was in the throes of Alzheimer's, except my mom still has dark brown hair, with very minimal gray. She's too young to have to be dealing with this stuff.

Pretty much, we're waiting to see how bad the anesthesia and the stress on her body messed her up. She'd been getting worse before the fall, and so I'm not confident that things will be good for her. It's so disconcerting.

But, instead of staying to be with my family, I came back to the castle early this morning so I could take a final and what not. I am conflicted. But, I'm here now, so I might as well make the most out of it. I would appreciate so much if you would (continue to) keep Ma in your prayers. I so much want her to have some peace. Alright, so I need to go have some lunch. Bye.


T said...

Just wanted you to know you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers! I know how hard this is for you. Know I am always here if you want to chat!

Jacki said...

i love you!! if you need anything, call me! i'm not so far away that i won't come to give you a real hug! *HUG* I'm also going home this friday afternoon and if you wanted to go home, i'd be more than happy to swing through and grab you up :) i could deliver you to your sister's house and bring you back to Iowa with me on Sunday if you want to spare your car the mileage...just let me know!