Oh real quick...

I was thinking the other day about safety. I was thinking that even though I live in podunk, Illinois with relatively little crime, that sometimes I do not feel safe. I don't really know what I feel is threatening me, but sometimes, I just feel like I am in danger. But anyway, I was praying about safety the other night just to tell God that I was feeling unsafe for some odd reason. And then I went to bed with the prayer along the lines of asking God to keep me safe from harm so that I may live another day trying to be of service to Him. So anyway, I fell asleep and got up the next day (at 6:30 a.m. mind you) and I drove to school. I got out of my car and was walking, walking, walking toward the building in which I have class. So, I have to walk past a grade school on my way to my building because there are just a lot of schools by the college. Anyway, I got to the place where I needed to cross the street and all of a sudden, the crossing guard took out her little sign and stopped all the traffic as I went past. She isn't there for us college students. No, she is there for the kids who have to cross the street, even though there is a stop sign where all the traffic must stop. But she is there to ensure the kids' safety. But I thought, after all these months of crossing the street on my own, this woman stops all traffic for me (Granted, some kid was approaching the crosswalk) and I got to have that EXTRA protection of having the crossing guard keep traffic stopped. I looked upward and said, "Is this your idea of a joke?" I smiled, of course, because I think it is funny when God shows His sense of humor. But, I just thought I would let that one into the blogosphere for fun. Ok, the end.

Just some useless blubbering

Hi. I'm really bored right now. I need to type some notes and email them to a classmate, but I'm a super-slacker. But anyway... Thanksgiving was good. I got to see my 2 1/2 year old nephew on Sunday. I think he very well could be the smartest/cutest kid in the entire world! Haha. He's adorable and he's so smart. He remembers the things that make the various people in his life laugh, and then does them when he sees them. An example of this is that my sisters and I laugh a lot when he does his fake gulp thing. So, I went into my house Sunday after church and he saw me from the kitchen and I could see him do his fake gulp. Then, after I got home from work (Bummer, I know, 4 hours away from that cuteness was torture) I was sitting in the living room when he came up to me, grabbed my hands and said, "Get up!" So I got up and he took me out to our piano. He climbed up on the bench, pushed some of the keys, turned to me, and said, "Loud!" So, I played him a little bit of chopsticks which he thought was funny. Then I said, "Listen to this!" and I played him the lowest key and the highest key and said, "That one sounds like a bear! And this one sounds like a little birdie!" And I did a big roar and a chirp chirp in sync with the keys. He thought that was funny, too. And then I played the lowest key and said, "Papa Bear," then the next octave higher and said "Mama Bear," and then the next higher and said, "Baby Bear." And then I said, "Where's Mama Bear?" And he pushed a key that was in the general area of the one I did. And he's only 2 1/2! I thought that was cute so I laughed. But, all good things must come to an end and they left at around 7:30 or so. I love that kid and it was wonderful to see him. I was very thankful that day for family. I try to be thankful every day for family, but sometimes it is difficult when you are a 23 year old female who commutes to college because living at home with Ma is cheaper than trying to go to school, work, and live on your own, but Ma treats you like you're still 12. But, at least she loves me and puts a roof over my head, so, I shouldn't complain. Anyway, that's it for now. I think later I am going to post some thoughts I had about Advent. But not now. Bye!

Thanksgiving Break is a Blessed time of year!

I am sitting here at MY OWN computer typing this blog! I'm very happy because most of the time, I would be asleep right now because I have to wake up really early. But, this whole blessed week is Thanksgiving BREAK! Yeehaw! So, I'm staying up late and just bumming around. It's grand. However, I need to write a few papers that will be due shortly after break ends. Ah, the seemingly never-ending cycle. Ah well. There's no other way to get there, right? I'm just excited that I get to relax a little. So, I'm still waiting to hear from the Church, Oxford Documents, or ANYONE about whether or not I get to be a candidate for ministry. I'm not really scared about it, because I know God is at work in my life, but I just kinda want to know so that I can either go full on into the process or just start thinking of something else to do. I am so confused about my "call" that it's just rather frustrating. I know, discernment is hard work. It is just that sometimes I feel like God wants me to be a pastor for His glory and to show Jesus to the people out there. And then sometimes I think there is NO way that I am worthy enough. I know I've probably said this before. It's just a struggle in my mind. And this waiting, waiting, waiting is not making anything any easier. It has been 2 months, one week, and two days since I authorized the background check. No word... Nothing in my past would really be the hold up in that department. I've never even gotten a real speeding ticket. (I got a city citation once, but that didn't go on my record so I don't count it). But then you know, maybe someone out there has my same name and stuff and they have me confused with the axe-murderer from Fulton County or something. I don't know. I guess my impatience is just showing. I respect the Church and their decision making processes. I just need to work on patience. Good things come to those who wait. Later.

Hmmm

An interesting set of "events" has been occurring in the past week or so. I went to Mooching Monday at my sister and her hubby's house. This Monday, Sis's best childhood friend was here from Florida with her husband. They came to Mooching Monday, too. We all had dinner and were chatting and the likes, and after the plates were cleared away and everyone was just sitting at the table, we started discussing politics. Pretty soon, Best Childhood Friend (BCF) brought up welfare and was making various opinionated statements about it when I told her that the average welfare recipient is a middle aged white woman with about 2 or 3 kids. No one at the table believed this. I told them, yes, because these people who are on welfare are getting the assistance because of various reasons. Often, a husband will leave wife and children by death or divorce, thus leaving them financially less well off. Often because the family may suffer from downsizing. The "feminization of poverty" is a real thing. The truth is, not all people who are on welfare are getting help because they are lazy, system bilking jerks. Brother in law then gave a few examples of how he "knows" a family that lives in Chicago and they drive a BMW but when it is time to pass out the welfare checks they go to Alabama, park their car in the shed, and sit their six kids on the porch in old play clothes. This may be true, but how many people actually do that? A few thousand maybe, but truth be told, "Welfare Queens" generally do not exist. So, they were basically telling me that because I go to a liberal-arts college, my opinions and the research I have read is wrong. So, I just said, "Brother, you don't know everything." And then somehow the conversation shifted to my potential future. BCF and BCF's husband are both involved with law enforcement. BCF is a prison guard and BCF's husband is a cop. So anyway, they mentioned something about prison ministry and I said, "That sounds interesting, and like something I might want to try some day." To which just about everyone at the table basically replied, "That's a bad idea... You're too naive." I told them, "Felons need Jesus, too." To which they then replied, most of them have given up on Jesus. But the point is, they still NEED Jesus. And while I wouldn't go shove it down their throats and get all crazy with it, there is a calling out there for people to preach the Gospel in prisons. Some of these people have never heard about Jesus and his love. Society shuns these people, they feel hopeless, and that is one factor that leads to recidivism. But at this point, I thought of Matthew 25, "Come, you that are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world; for I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you gave me clothing, I was sick and you took care of me, I was in prison and you visited me." Then the people who Jesus was talking to asked him, "Lord when did we do these things for you?" And Jesus replied, "Just as you have done it to the least of these who are members of my family, you have done it also to me." But, I kicked myself because I didn't say this and I KNEW I should have. *kick, kick, kick* So, anyway, I've been thinking about that ALL week because it just bothers me that some people are content to let the government (nothing against the U.S.; I think it's a great place to live) keep going along in a rather mediocre way of feeding people, and keeping people at standards to which this part of the world is celebrated as having. Millions of people in THIS country are starving and I don't think that's ok. Some European countries do such a great job at eradicating poverty that we should be ashamed of ourselves. It really is upsetting that because a few cases here and there are giving a bad name to Welfare (which isn't really called that, anymore anyway) that people think EVERYONE on welfare is bilking the system. And it bothers me that people think felons are a lost cause. And it bothers me, I guess on a selfish, more downscaled note that people think I'm stupid and naive and believe everything I hear. So, I've been thinking about that whole exchange all week. So today I sit here in the lab at school waiting for my other class to convene. But in my waiting time, I try to write the Prayers of the People. (I have been blessed with the opportunity to write the P. of the P. that is used in weekly worship for the last 2 years or so). So, I pulled out my bulletin that has the texts of the week on it. I use this to write appropriate prayers. So, I pulled that out and when I come to the Gospel reading, it is none other that Matthew 25:31-46. And it just seems interesting to me that that would be the lesson for this coming Sunday. And the story doesn't end there. I checked my email after I wrote the prayers and I got an e-issue of Christianity today. I was reading it and the article, "Deep Down From Heaven" by Max Lucado says that God loves us too much too make the world all about us. Because then the salvation of the world would be up to us. God knows we can't do it all, so He gives us our own jobs to do. Lucado likens God to a master mechanic father dealing with a son who can't tell the difference between a fan belt and a spare tire while at the same time dealing with a severely broken car. That father, knowing his son is not mechanically inclined gives that son the job of cleaning spark plugs or putting sawdust over oil spots. God gives us these jobs to do, fully knowing that we could in no way pretend to work at Mr. Goodwrench. He wants us to do what we can with the gifts we have been given. Anyway, I just thought that tied in with everything I've been thinking. Maybe I'll add to this later. I don't know. Have a good day.

While surfing the Internet...

Well, I just got home from work a little while ago. I made myself some of those potato skins with cheese and bacon bits on them for dinner. I love them and do not know what I would do if I actually was forced to learn how to cook. I'd probably starve to death. Ha. But anyway, I was surfing the Internet tonight just looking at various websites in my "favorites" dropdown list. I went to the MyChoice Theological Seminary webpage and saw that they are having their semi-annual "Considering Your Call" conference on Ministry this weekend. I went to this thing last year and it was incredible. It is located in a nice city, the seminary is easy to get to, and the whole experience was just marked indelibly into my mind. I really enjoyed meeting all the people who were "discerning their call" like I am. It really helps you feel less alone. Although, a lot of the people came with spouses, or friends from college or something, and I was all alone. But, I did make friends. I really enjoyed just about every aspect of the whole weekend. As a matter of fact, the only thing I would do differently is ask if I could room alone. My roommate was an amazingly nice woman; I have nothing bad at all to say about her. But, I didn't realize how much I enjoy moments of solitude. Because the people at the seminary planned activities and things, there really wasn't a lot of "free time," per se, so we were always in the midst of others. And that is great because it really helps you see how they focus on building community. However, I really like having personal space sometimes. So, I think it would have been better if I'd have roomed alone. But, I still really, really, really enjoyed my time out there and I wholeheartedly recommend it to anyone who is discerning going into public ministry. Everyone is nice, the campus is wonderful, and I was especially taken by the meditation chapel. The simplicity of it all was just moving. Maybe I'm a weirdo, but that's the place I liked best. That, and the regular chapel. But anyway, this post has been long enough. It brought up some fond memories for me to think about before I fall asleep. Good night and God bless!

Happy Birthday, Martin!

Today, November 10 is a special day, I suppose, in the life of Lutheranism. Today is Martin Luther, the father of the Reformation's birthday! If Luther was still alive, he'd be 522. He was born in 1483. I thought it was noteworthy considering without him, we would not have Lutheranism as we know it. I, for one, am very grateful for the life and ministry of Luther, because without him, we would not be where we are today. But I just now wondered, his birthday was only several days after he posted his theses on the door at Wittenberg, so how must he have spent that particular birthday? Perhaps it was spent running from the Catholic authorities? What a way to celebrate your 34th birthday! Well, happy birthday, Martin Luther! Thank you for your trailblazing ways! The Lutheran Church has come a long way, but we couldn't have started without ya! So, let's just wish Dr. Luther a great big posthumous 522nd birthday. What a day. Blessings.

Oh yeah, it's my birthday, too! Although, Martin was born 499 years before me.

Before I go read...

I thought I'd tell you all a story about Halloween night... I was at Denise's for Mooching Mondays and we were sitting in the kitchen waiting for trick or treaters. So, they would come and we would rush the door to pass out the candy. So, I opened the door to one group of them and one kid was a viking and there was a princess and maybe one of the Incredibles... So, I said to the viking kid, "are you a viking?" And he said, "yes!" and I said, "Did you know that one time, Vikings invaded England because they ran out of beer?!" Then the kid kinda looked at me, got his candy and ran away. Denise, John, and Janet then proceeded to laugh at me uncontrollably and prohibit me from answering the door anymore. They also told me to stop scaring the kids. haha. So, i just thought that was funny. Maybe just to me? Who knows.

Math Anxiety

Here I sit with 6, count them 6 weeks left until this semester is over. Two weeks are left until Thanksgiving Break, then a week of Thanksgiving break, then two more weeks of actual school, and then finally, finals week. I was doing pretty well with everything until today. We are learning all about these crazy concepts in Statistics. Chi squared equals this and that, blah blah blah. They might as well be speaking in Greek.. OH wait! They do! ha. Chi, sigma, delta, and all those things are Greek! No wonder I don't understand! Anyway, I was pulling a strong B up until now. I have a test next Thursday and I'm fairly certain I'm not going to do well on it. You see, when I went to jr. college, I had to take a class designed to help people with what they call, "math anxiety." If you don't think you're going to do well, they say, that is half the problem. Think positively. So, I must think that I am going to do well (I have to study too, you know)... So. It just made me think about John 14:1. "Let not your hearts be troubled..." And also Matthew 6:34, "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." So, here I sit worrying about a test in one week that I should not be worrying about. I can hope to do well on it, but why worry? Will a big fat "F" make Jesus love me any less? Nooo... Or he'd have dropped me long ago. I just need to remember the larger scope of things and not focus on what has no eternal consequence. But anyway. That's it for now. I think I'm going to go read a book for class. Have a blessed day.

My first blogaire...

Well, I have no tests today and I don't feel like reading any books, so I thought I'd go blogsurfing. I occasionally see blog questionaire things and what not, but I usually read them and move on. Today, however, I thought since I really have nothing better to do, I would do one. So, here goes:

Copy, paste, answer, add one of your own:

Have you ever...
1. smoked a cigar - No, because when I was a little girl I had one puff of a cigarette my dad told me to breathe in real deep. Kept me away from smokes forever.
2. crashed a friend's car - no
3. stolen a car - no
4. been in love - puppy love, yes. Real, deep, I could marry you love, no.
5. been dumped - Of course.
6. dumped someone - Yes, although I'd rather be the dumpee than the dumper.
7. taken shots of alcohol - yes, but only a few because I'm a lightweight!
8. been fired – Ha. One time one of my bosses and I got into a fight and I said, "I QUIT!" and she said, "You don't have to quit, you're fired!" But then my other boss said, you're not leaving. So, since I'm still there, I've never been fired.
9. been in a fist fight - No.
10. snuck out of a/your house - Yes, because I was a worrywart who didn't believe my parents trusted me, and therefore I would sneak out in order to do things that really did not warrant sneaking out.
11. had feelings for someone who didn't have them back - Hasn't everyone?
12. been arrested - No. Although two of my siblings have. Ha.
13. made out with a stranger - No. I'm a prude.
14. gone on a blind date - Yes. Blind dates suck.
15. lied to a friend - yes
16. had a crush on a teacher - Ohhhh yeah! The student teacher for P.E. when I was a freshwoman. Oh and also one of the history teachers who I did not have, but who I thought was hot anyway.
18. seen someone die - Yep. Tried to do CPR; it didn't work.
19. been on a plane - No, although it is one of my life goals to get my pilot's license.
20. thrown up in a bar - No. I've only puked from alcohol consumption one time. That was in my room at about 2:30 a.m. after some strawberry daquiris with extra rum added.
21. eaten insects/grubs/worms/larvae - Probably in my sleep.
22. miss someone right now - You might be able to say that.
23. laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by - yes
24. made a snow angel - yes
25. played dress up - yes
26. cheated while playing a game - yes
27. been lonely - yes
28. fallen asleep at work/school - All the time! In high school, I woke up in study hall one day to find that everyone was gone because it was 3:15. And then when I tried to stand up and walk out, I dropped all my stuff because my arms had fallen asleep. Only the supervisor was left though, so I didn't feel TOO stupid.
29. used a fake id - no
30. felt an earthquake - yes! Just a wee little one about a year and a half ago. Right there in smalltown, Illinois where I live! I thought someone had hit my house with their car again, but I was too tired to get up and look so I finished falling asleep. Next morning I found out it as an earthquake.
31. touched a snake - I really hate snakes.
32. run a red light - Yesterday on accident. I was following a semi truck and I couldn't see the light, but it had just changed to green so I wasn't expecting it to turn red already.
33. had detention - No. I even only had my name on the board once.
34. been in a car accident - not anything huge, just some spinouts, some ditches, stuff like that.
35. hated the way you look - yes
37. been lost - yes
38. been to the opposite side of the country - No. I've been to Canada though!
39. felt like dying - Not really. Just you know, when you're sick and you're like, just kill me so I can stop puking!
40. cried yourself to sleep - maybe a few times.
41. played cops and robbers - not really.
42. sung karaoke - No, I can't carry a tune in a bucket.
43. done something you told yourself you wouldn't - yes. ugh. I disgust myself soemtimes.
44. laughed till some kind of beverage came out of your nose - yes, all over my pancakes. What a bummer.
45. caught a snowflake on your tongue - No. Acid snow!
46. kissed in the rain - no
47. sang in the shower - All the time, even though I'm a bad singer.
48. made love in a park - Does public indecency mean nothing to you!
49. had a dream that you married someone - No.
50. glued your hand to something - yup. I was fixing something with superglue, no less, and I glued my fingers to the paper that was protecting the table.
51. got your tongue stuck to a flag pole - no.
52. worn the opposite sex's clothes - I don't really recall.
53. Been a cheerleader – No. I really am not into the cheerleader scene.
54. sat on a roof top - yes
55. talked on the phone all night - No way.
56. ever too scared to watch scary movies alone – No. I like scary movies.
57. played chicken fight - nope..
58. been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on - Not pushed, per se... But when I was little, my sister and I were playing catch in the yard and she kept throwing the ball farther and farther to my right and by the time I realized what she was trying to do, I was in the pool soaking wet.
59. been told you're hot by a complete stranger - hot no.. Cute, yes.
60. broken a bone - Mmm. I was born with a broken collarbone. Does that count?
61. had a 3-some? - Ewww.
62. dipped snuff? - Gross.
63. lived overseas - Never have.
64. Ever passed out/fainted? - Sure, 5 times. It's weird.
65. blown bubbles in the wintertime - no.
66. slept in your car? - only while driving. ;) j/k.
67. given money to a stranger? - yes
68. forgot your birthday? - no
69. forgot your best friend's birthday? - yes
70. been in the presence of the Pope or the President? - One time the first George Bush was at my grade school, but I wasn't there because it wasn't during school hours.
71. failed a test? - yeah. When I was in high school I was very apathetic about grades and a lot of things.
72. failed a class? - Sure. But my mom doesn't know because they had computer glitches that term so it showed up as a C on my report card. They did give me a corrected copy, but I "misplaced" it. I'm bad.
73. accurately predicted a future event? - I've had feelings about stuff, but never full on predicted it.
74. slept overnight in a hospital without being a patient? - no.
75. realized a dream? - Well, I "realized" two dreams (meaning goals) in one day, actually. I wanted to beat the computer on the SNES JEOPARDY game, and did that, and then later I went to the bowling alley and saw a phone booth. SO, I had always wanted to be inside a real phone booth, so I walked across the street and stood in it for a minute. Two dreams of mine in one day. Wooohoo.
76. changed the clock at work so you could get out sooner?- No, but I've witnessed someone else doing that!

So, that's me in 76 questions! yay!

Cat tillar

Happy Halloween. Yesterday, my mom, older sister (Denise), and I went to visit my brother, his wife, and their son. My nephew is 2 and a half, and quite possibly the cutest kid on the planet. I didn't have to work again, because I waitressed on Saturday night. So, we decided to take the hour and a half car trip down there to visit for the day. It was really fun. The little guy is hilarious and a huge ham! He modeled his Halloween costume for us. It's a bright green caterpillar costume with antennae and everything! And when we asked him what he was, he said, "Cat tillar," because he is just a wee one and misses the middle part of the word and doesn't say the 'p.' All in all, it was a pretty fun day. Oh yeah! And on the way back, we stopped and got Krispy Kremes! Yeah, baby! Anyway. So tonight is mooching Monday, so I plan to go to Denise's, pass out candy, and have a real meal. The only reason I like Mondays is because I get a real, home-cooked, hot, not-out-of-a-box meal. It's wonderful. :) Anyway, I guess that's all I have to say right now. I have to go study for a test I have in 3 1/2 hours. :) Yay for procrastinating!

I don't know what the deal is.

Today, I sit here wondering about my future. I don't really know why, but I'm feeling kind of stressed about it. Way back when I first started discerning my call to ministry, I felt kind of intimidated about all the things I'd have to learn, all the things I'd have to endure, and all the things I'd have to discover about myself in order to get to ministry. But, as time has progressed and I've gotten the opportunity to utilize some of my gifts and think about what the future holds, I've become less intimidated. However, after reading another blog, I have begun to feel intimidated again. I don't know why, and that is frustrating to me. Mark's Blog (the one I've been reading) says a lot of great things for him. The faculty has said great things about him and everything. But I guess I'm just afraid that in the future, if I ever get to seminary, they might not say great things about me. What if I'm just mediocre? What if I've been bad at this whole discernment process thus far? What if I'm going in a direction that God does NOT want me to go? That is what I fear the most, I suppose: Going in a direction God would rather I not go. It just seems that lately, I have not been a "good enough" person to be pursuing this vocation. I know that pastors are not perfect, but they're supposed to be examples of godly living to the community with patience, humility, gentleness, and a plethora of other spiritual gifts. For the most part, I'm pretty patient and all that good stuff, but I still struggle with one relationship in my life. That relationship makes me feel like an awful person because I just have come to the end of my rope. I don't know what to do about my future. I only know that I must trust God to lead me where He wants me to go, believing in His power and ability to sustain me through wherever this road I am on takes me. Please forgive my venting. I feel better now. Peace.

Blah blah blah.

It is getting colder outside. This morning I was walking to class and I could see my breath. Yikes. Ah well. This is what I get for living in Illinois. We have seasons that change. Anyway. I have devised a way to get off work on Good Friday so I can go to church! I'm excited. Everyone at ISU has to take the University Writing Exam in order to graduate. We're supposed to take it while we have between 45 and 75 credit hours, but since I am a super-slacker, I didn't register for it. So, they offer this exam every single Friday throughout the semester from 4:00 till about 5:00 or something like that. So, since I figured I'd have to take a Friday off anyway for it, I figured I should at least make it a Friday that would be worthwhile. So, Good Friday it was. I'm excited. I really hate missing Lenten services. Like Pastor said one time, "Missing out on Wednesday Lenten services and then going to Easter morning worship is like coming in at the end of a movie where you've missed all the struggles and joys and everything that makes the end all that much more meaningful." BUT! Next year is the LAST TIME THAT I WILL EVER HAVE TO MISS LENTEN SERVICES!!!!!! Yay! So, that's what is on my mind today. Oh, and I think I am going to go blog surfing to see if I can make friends. Bye.

Phew...

I'm happy. You know why? Because I am all signed up for next semester. I didn't get into that FCS class, but that's ok. I decided on another psych class instead. I'm just happy I found 6 classes that fit my schedule that would also take care of the requirements I needed to fulfill. So, I'm excited. Oh! and an extra bonus-5 of the 6 classes are Tuesday/Thursday classes, and my one Monday/Wednesday class is only for the first 8 weeks. That means I'm going to have Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays off from school! I'm going to be able to save so much money and time! Yeehaw! (Money because I won't be driving 100 miles a day, and time because I won't be in the car forever). So, I'm excited. Anyway. So, I've had myself a glass of wine a few minutes ago and because I'm a major lightweight, I'm feeling it. I need to go to bed now. Goodnight.

I really hate scheduling...

Is it me, or does scheduling completely suck!? I hate it more than is really logical. Right now I am in the process of registering for next semester's classes. I want to take 16 credit hours because one of the classes I'm taking is only 8 weeks long. I also want to take that many because I want to take a summer class next summer so I can have a really light last semester (I heard Soc. 300 can be a killer). So, I'm trying to sign up for these classes, but some of them are closed already. That in itself is something I don't really understand because I'm going to be a senior, and the class I wanted to take that I'm not able to is in my major. So, I wanted to take this FCS class because it sounded cool, but I haven't met the requirements. Therefore, I must go visit the advisor to beg her to please let me into the freakin' class. Ugh. I wish they'd just say, "Trish, you take these 6 classes and you'll be all good." Really, that's what I want. But no... I have to be an adult, ok and now I have realized I'm being a whiner. Sorry. But I feel better now that I have that off my chest. If that chick won't let me into the class, I'll just have to choose something else, I guess. Anyway. I only need to pick out one more class. So, it'll be fine. Really. I need to go now. It's past my bedtime. zzzZZZzzz

Procrastinate? Me? No.....

As usual, I'm sitting here in the lab at school in between classes. But what I should be doing is studying for a test I have at 12:35. But, I'm too excited because I got a B+ on my STATS TEST!!!!!!!! I suck at math and I got a B+! I'm so excited. I was only one point away from an A, but that's ok because I am so happy! I took a General Elementary Stats class at jr. college and scraped by with a C by the skin of my teeth. (You have to have a C or better for community college credit to transfer). So, Here I am, having achieved a B on both my stats tests thus far. It is just very exciting for me. But anyway, I should be studying because this upcoming test is in a class I'm not doing exceptionaly well in. I got a B- on the first test and that is kinda bad for me. Stratification is an extremely interesting subject, but I just can't get into it with the method this teacher uses. But I'm making excuses. Sometimes I think I need to remember that good grades do not mean as much as I'd like to think. Sometimes I think that to be respected and loved I need to have a 4.0 GPA. And then I think of that song that says, "Money won't complete me; fame won't complete me. I am complete in You" (meaning God). And it helps me recall that God would love me even if I flunked out of college and became a prostitute on the street. Why, you may ask? Because God so loved the WORLD (not just A students, not just well to do affluent people, not just regular church goers...) God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son so that whoever believed in Him would not perish but have everlasting life. (Gotta love John 3:16). But anyway, I still try to do the best with the gifts and opportunities with which I have been blessed, so I'm going to stop blogging and go study. Blessings!

Something I need to remember sometimes...

Your Fortune Is

It's ok to let a fool kiss you, but don't let a kiss fool you.

The Wacky Fortune Cookie Generator

Contrary to popular opinion, I do date sometimes. Although usually not people I should. But, anyway... It helps me remember why I don't like dating.

Praise the Lord!

Today is midterm, at long last! Praise the Lord for bringing me thus far! Yay!

So, anyway, today is officially midterm. On Monday when we come back here, the semester will officially be half over. I had an advisement appointment with my academic adviser the other day and I'm a little scared about next semester. I'm having a difficult time finding classes that fit my schedule. I don't really want to give up work, you know, cuz you have to have money to get here, but I really really REALLY want to be done with ISU by December '06. I know, I know... We make plans, God laughs, but this is something I'm really working toward. I guess if worse comes to worse, I will just have to make a schedule where I won't be able to work Tuesdays and Thursdays. wow, I'm awful at typing today. I burned my fingers yesterday on the coffee machine at work and I think I damaged 'em! AHHH! Anyway. I just wanted to let all of posterity know that it is midterm. Oh, and I still don't know if I passed my background check yet. Because I'm a big ol' felon. (I'm kidding, I'm not. Although I'm allowed to joke because I have lots of contact with felons and I am not kidding around because I think I'm "better" than they are.) Anyway. I'm off to nurse my burnt hands. Bye.

(note from the author: please forgive my overuse of ellipses '...' and exclamation points. I'm easily excited and amused. Oh yeah, and sorry about misspellings, too.)

Woo Doggies, I have archives!

Hey now.. I have real archives that actually have posts in them. I'm excited about that. You would not believe it. So, I didn't get anything done this weekend that I wanted to get done. Well, except I bought some new clothes. I rarely go shopping, so I guess that's something to be proud of. I'm kind of bored and stuff right now. I wish it wasn't getting colder. I wish this semester was over. I wish I was accepted into the whole candidacy process already. I wish a lot of things, but wishing is not getting these things done. Day by day, I must proceed. There was a "social gathering" at Pastor's other church today for a boy who died in a car accident a while ago. (Pastor has 2 churches because we live in a rural type area). Anyway, the young man died not a couple days ago Friday, but like, LAST week Friday. They waited till Pastor got back from vacation because they wanted him to do the services. So, instead of a visitation, they had a social gathering. I really feel for those people. It really sucks when someone dies all unexpectedly and stuff. A bunch of people I went to high school with have died and I'm only 22. So, I have been in a situation like the one the friends of this young man are in now. I really feel for them. :( I just can hope that they can get to a place where they are not angry or bitter anymore, but I fully realize it may take a while. Trust me, I know it can and often does take a while. But anyway. I have to go now. I'm going to hit the hay early tonight. Hasta.

Almost midterm!!!!!!

Hi everybody! It is almost midterm here at ISU! Yeah. I'm so excited about that (in case you couldn't tell by the blatant overuse of exclamation points in the title of this post!). So anyway. Midterm is actually next week. I'm not 100% on what day it is though. I think Friday, but I could be wrong. That means that in less than 3 months I will be a senior. I can't believe it. Where has this year gone? I'm excited about my future, even though there is still a lot up in the air. Gotta love discernment, right? But, since next week is midterm, I guess a lot of my time this weekend will be spent studying/reading/not having any fun because I need to catch up on that which I have procrastinated doing thus far. Haha. I'm making lots of typos today and am catching them, but it makes me laugh because some of them are just silly. A few seconds ago I typed procrastinateded. Hehe. I'm such a dork, but I think everyone should try it sometimes. I think I'm going to go do something a little more productive now though. Blessings!

Dundundundun!

So today is a day to procrastinate! But then again, isn't every day? Ha. Well, I missed my 8:00 a.m. class on monday because I woke up not feeling good at all. I figured that I'd better just stay home and get some sleep to see if I'd feel up to going to my 1:00. I did. And it was nice to sleep in for a change. But, I'm still not feeling 100%, but what can you do? Anyway. Next week is midterm!!! I can't believe it! It's exciting because this year has just flown by for the most part! I'm so excited. Oh yeah! More fairly exciting news, (To me, anyway) my background check is partially done. They sent out the forms to my current boss, so I can only imagine that they've sent them out to my other "references" as well. If they all got to those in a timely fashion, I would imagine that Oxford is hard at work making sure I'm not some sicko or something. Basically, I think, that is the point of the background checks. They don't want to let someone into the ministry who is going to hurt children or abuse the position of pastor. I can completely, COMPLETELY understand that because you gotta uphold the integrity of the Church. While pastors are not perfect, they are expected to be examples to the community. So... I'm not really certain as to when I have to do the next steps.. The synod (my guess) probably will tell me after the background check is complete. Then the next step (again, not sure) is the psychological evaluation by proxy, which means I have to take a psych test, but Pastor can give it to me. Then, I have to go to see the church chosen psychiatrist to discuss the results of the test. I'm not too worried about that, but it still seems kind of intimidating that he is going to be analyzing my mind and reporting the results to people. Ah well. All in the learning process, eh? Basically, that is the update for now. It's been kind of long-winded, but like I've said before, it's for posterity! Haha. Bye.