Weird...

A "year" is coming to a close for me very quickly. Tomorrow is November 30th (duh, I know) and thus, after tomorrow, I will have been unemployed for one full year. You haven't heard any Restaurant stories lately because, well, I haven't been there to gain any new ones. I've stopped in from time to time, but haven't had any funny, uncomfortable, or heartening stories from there for quite some time.

This past Sunday, I stopped in for one quick minute after leading worship at Pastor's "other" church. Restaurant and OC are in the same town. I couldn't help but thinking about how last year at this time, Female Boss was not being nice to me at all. But, I needed to stop, if you get my drift. Lol. Anyway, I was only in there for maybe 10 minutes, tops because I said hey to some people before heading off. It's still weird going in there and realizing I will NEVER work there ever again; especially considering that place was a big part of my life for 9 1/2 years. There are new faces doing the work, and there have been a few changes for the ones I still know. Unfortunately, Female Boss is still the same. One of my best friends in the world is the 78 year old cook who still cranks out awesome food on Thursdays, Fridays, and Saturdays there, and she sent me a birthday card that said, among other things, "Work is still the same. :(" I feel so bad for her. My friend shouldn't be treated the way she is treated, and dangit, I love the woman and want her to be happy.

I digress...

What is weird is that I am sitting here at my desk, after a morning of class, small group, and chapel, and yet, I am smelling the unmistakable smell of chicken grease. That's one of the "little things" I have enjoyed about not working at Restaurant; the not smelling like chicken grease all the time. Even though other people weren't able to smell the grease after work, I could, and it drove me up the wall. So now, it's just kind of bizarre to me that as I near this "milestone," I am smelling the smelly smell of something that smells smelly: My nemesis, chicken grease. I haven't been around grease for a good long while, and we had hot dogs for lunch today, so I couldn't have gotten it from the cafeteria. Maybe it's my brain playing tricks on me. It's not like I'm longing to go back to work there, anyway. It's just odd, I guess, and something I felt like posting. Have a good day.

Some mild procrastination...

Here I sit at 1:48 in the afternoon, blogging. What I SHOULD be doing is writing a history paper to hand in for tomorrow so I can go play with my friends tonight, but I'm putting it off a bit. I am fairly certain that he is giving some of us an extension because he didn't get our previous papers back til this week. Anyway, I should still get on that.

After kind of a stressful past week or so, I'm chillin' out again. I think Grandma is doing better, and so my brother's words are not looming over me anymore. She might even be going back to the home today or so. Exciting.

I have been very goofy all day. It's that whole "internal reset" thing, I think. I was making jokes and giggling all day. In Exegetical Readings in the New Testament, one of my classmates said, "Trish has a contagious giggle." It was a proud, proud moment.

Anyway, the semester's end is fast approaching. It is really hard to believe. Time flies when you're having fun. I hope you all are having fun, too. Later.

Back from...Vacation?

Well, I got back from "home" last night around 6:30 or so. I carted all my stuff up to my room last night, checked my email and facebook, and laid down to have some "quiet time." However, I fell promptly asleep! That was around 8:00 p.m. I woke up at 8:30 because I was snoring. That was weird, because I'm not a snorer, but I was last night. So, I got up, put my pjs on, did a quick run thru of bedtime procedure, and laid back down. I slept til 8:00 this morning, and even then, I took about a half hour nap after chapel (I didn't have discussion group at that time, so I was free). I was so tired. While I was "home," I didn't sleep that well, and last week was fairly overwhelming anyway. I had about 4 Seminary dreams, with the most recent one last night. It involved a test done on a steeple on sight at the seminary (We don't have a steeple) and a classmate with a SEVERELY bloody nose. It was gross, but kinda funny at the same time.

Last Wednesday, I was at my home church for Thanksgiving Eve worship. After it was over, I was chatting with Pastor and his wife for a little while, ironing out details for Sunday because they were going to be gone and I was set to lead worship. So, after we were done chatting, I went out, got in Neno, and turned the key, but it wouldn't start. I thought, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?" Last time my car broke down, it was at the coke shop in the same town. I had to call Pastor that day to see if he could come help me. Well, Wednesday was no different. He tried jump starting my car, but that wasn't the problem. He drove me about 12 miles to a place where Sis could pick me up. I felt bad because it wasn't a nice night outside and everytime my car breaks, he ends up having to help me. Oy veh.

Anyway, Sis came and got me, and I felt bad for dragging her out of the house on a cold, rainy evening. So, after we got home, we talked a while and did some minor prep for Thanksgiving. But, she was tired and went to bed. I, on the other hand, wanting to make up for dragging Sis away, stayed up and cleaned the house like a mad woman.

The next day was Thanksgiving, so I couldn't call my mechanic (a real nice guy I actually TRUST with my car. He is very reasonable and an all around great dude). So, I enjoyed Thanksgiving with Sis, BiL, and BiL's family. None of my family members were there (My other sibs had other things to do, and the nursing home people suggest not taking loved ones home because there are often issues in getting them back to the home). I love BiL's family; I just missed celebrating with my own. Oh well. It was better than the years I got left at home all alone on Thanksgiving and Christmas.

So, the next day was Friday. I called the mechanic early and got his wife. He called later and said he'd go have a gander. BiL let me borrow his van to take my car keys to the mechanic, and so I also went and visited Grandma! She lives at a nursing home in ChurchTown. Granny is 94 years old, is very forgetful, but she is still Grandma. She throws out one-liners all the time and she's just wonderful. I love her so much. She was happy to see me and I was so glad I got to see her. After I had visited for a while, I left. The mechanic called and said we needed to get my car from ChurchTown to MechanicTown (about 15 miles away). So, I had to have it towed. Thankfully, there is a towing place in ChurchTown that is incredibly reasonable. Plus, I think I have some sort of towing insurance, so I'll be turning that in. Mechanic said the problem was the fuel pump. When I drove a Jeep, I had to have that part replaced once and it cost me 19 dollars. This time, including the part, labor, and towing, it cost me about 600 dollars. Yikes. Oh well.

When Sunday rolled around, I had my car back, so thankfully I had no troubles getting to Church and Pastor's "other" church so I could lead worship/preach. For some reason, I was having difficulties with the text for Sunday, and was not at all happy with what I sent Pastor. He replied with some suggestions and comments earlier in the week. It was funny because we chatted a little bit about it on Wednesday and he said he was hoping he didn't sound too critical. I told him that he wasn't, and that I knew what I sent him was less than stellar, so that made him feel better. He seemed kind of surprised that I could tell it was not a good message, but he also seemed grateful because he was afraid that I thought this was "the best one yet!" I said that definitely was NOT the case, and so I reworked it that same day, and he said the revision was much more my style. The last time I preached on Christ the King Sunday was much easier to do though. That was the message I posted here on my blog. "Humpty Dumpty..." Remember?

Anyway... Sunday went pretty well, except when I got into the car after the first service so I could go to the other church, I saw that I had a voicemail. It was Oldest Brother telling me that Grandma was in the hospital and she might die. I called him back and asked what hospital she was in, and made plans to go there when I was done with leading worship. When I got there, she was looking good. I talked with her aide and she said Grandma was doing quite well and was throwing out little one liner jokes and being Grandma. That's the neat thing; even though Grandma is incredibily forgetful and doesn't always know who we are, she is still herself. And really, I think she's better mentally than Ma. It's weird. I don't think Grandma is going to die anytime soon. Although I'm very grateful that she was at the hospital because she had a cardiac episode where her BP was something like 200/100. If she hadn't been there, it could've been lights out. I'm trying to be realistic, considering Granny is 94 years old, but she looks really good, and so I'm going to be optimistic.

Anyway, that was my week/weekend in a nutshell. I had a good time with the nephews and just being at home, but I'm glad to be back at the Castle. I wish I would have had time to see Mom, but the place she is at is far away and with all that happened, I just couldn't make it over there. YS went on Thanksgiving, so that was good. I will get to see her hopefully sooner than later, but life happens. Anyway, I'm going to do some work and go to bed. I'm still so tired. Have a good day.

A Crazy Dream!

I had a crazy dream last night, probably because I went to bed at 4:00 a.m. When I mess with my schedule like that, weird things are bound to happen! Ha. I'm posting the dream because it was about the Mothership!

A couple of my friends from the Castle and I were stealing change from the vending machines. But, then my pastor came to my room and he was going through all my stuff and he said, "Where did all this change come from?" And I said, "I have no idea what you're talking about!" So, he left and suddenly my friends and I were in my childhood home's living room. ST, AZ, LT, and some other people who didn't LOOK like my seminary pals, but really were, were there. I said, "If we get caught, we're going to be expelled!" The friends were like, "We're not going to get caught so long as you keep your mouth shut!" So then, we went across the street to a place that had changed signs/ownership about 3 times in the course of the dream. When we went in, it had a "cubs" sign on it. And then I woke up. It was bizarre.

I just had a thought... The other night, I went to Thanksgiving Eve worship on Wednesday, and after it, I was talking with Pastor. We were ironing out some of the details for Sunday because he's gone and I'm leading worship. Anyway, so then, I went out to my car to go back to Sis and BiL's house, but the car would not start. Pastor tried jump starting my vehicle, but that was not the problem. So, I called Sis and she said she'd come get me. Pastor took me partway so Sis wouldn't have to come ALL the way to Church town. So, Pastor and I were talking and then Sis came. So, I probably just had him in my mind because of that.

The whole issue of the coins is what is interesting to me. It was all change. At first, I thought that perhaps I was dreaming about change because I was watching the Law and Order marathon last night and some guy was stealing quarters out of the newspaper boxes. But, the whole fact that THE CHANGE was coupled with some of my NEW friends and I being transported suddenly to my OLD house, has me thinking maybe otherwise. Who knows, maybe I'm overanalyzing it and I really did just have the dream because I was watching L&O until 4 a.m. It just was something I thought was worth noting.

Oh, and in case you're wondering, my car's issue is a bad fuel pump. Bummer. My mechanic is going to try to have it back up and running by Sunday so I can go back to the Mothership. I need to find my towing voucher from my insurance so it won't be so expensive. Ugh. At least every time my car has broken down in the past few months, it's done it near "home!" I would feel lots worse about it if it happened at SeminaryTown. And seeing as I'm up there more often than not, it's kind of interesting that it's only ever broken down near "home." Cool.

And one last point of interest that I'm sure no one really cares about but me! BiL said he was going to make MY FAVORITE MEAL tonight! I'm super excited! Roast (medium rare done in the oven), mashed taters, and dark gravy! Oh, and asparagus. yay! I've had a hankering for about two months! Ha. Later, y'all.

Thanksgiving

Well, Thanksgiving is over. I'm really thankful for a lot, but unfortunately, I've not been intentional thus far about thinking on and reflecting about what it is I am grateful for. Despite all the things that I wish were not a part of life in general, and my life in particular, I have a good life.

I have four siblings whom I love, even if I don't "like" all four of them sometimes. Two of my sibs have beautiful, talented, smart, and loving children who I feel blessed to have them call me Aunt. I am grateful for the twenty or so years I had with my mother before she began the slide into dementia, and really, I was about 23 or so by the time it really started affecting her badly. I'm also grateful for having known, at some point in my life, the wonderful reality of having two loving parents who did a lot to protect and care for me.

People in my life have also been a huge source of blessing. The many friends and acquaintances I have made are just phenomenal. I have friends I have known for twenty years, and friends I have known for three months, and everything in between. Their companionship on this road through life has meant so much to me that I am awestruck by the fact that people are willing to be open enough to be my friend, and who allow me to be who I am with them. Friendship can be a give and take, and it's just amazing how much my friends give me. Thanks y'all. I wub ya!

I also feel blessed to have had the educational opportunities I have had. I am a college graduate, and am now being educated at the graduate level to hopefully do something I am discerning I am called to do. Not everyone has the time or resources to do these things, and I am grateful for the gift of frugality, and for the help I've been given to help me get to the place I am.

Adventures are a fairly regular piece of my life. I have had the exhilarating, awesome, breath-taking experience of jumping out of a perfectly good airplane, not once, but TWICE, AND have lived to tell about it. I am easily amused and can have fun doing a wide range of activities.

And, last for this post, but certainly not least, I am incredibly grateful for the local church of which I am a member, and for the Church as a whole. While I may not like all the views of some church bodies, and even some people of "my" church, I still appreciate the fact that they are beloved children of God, and thus, we are all united into the family of faith. I am grateful that my home church has been such a nurturing and supportive environment, and I'm grateful that the ELCA has practices and policies in place that allow me to use my gifts to serve Jesus by serving people, publicly and privately. I am blessed.

There is much else for which I am grateful, but this post is getting long. I feel like I'm giving an Oscar speech or something. Ha. I hope that you all have had opportunity to reflect on those things for which you are thankful, and that you find that these things are gifts we are blessed to have from God. Have a great day.

Thanksgiving Break

Well... Today was the last day of classes for the week because we are now on Thanksgiving break. I did a bunch of work before today, which is nice, because my week can be a little more relaxed now. I did actually bring some work "home" with me, and I intend to do it, but I'm cool with whatever happens.

I am a horrid, horrid person. I have been so darn tired lately that I have been skipping chapel a bit lately. And, I skipped a class today, too. Maybe after relaxing this week, I'll be back on my "A" game.

I met with a senior the other evening to plan for our day of chapel leading. Our day is going to be Thursday, December 6th. I think I'm pretty much ready. I found some information on the commemoration of Nicholas, Bishop of Myra that I can read on that day, and I have the Prayer of the Day figured out, and I have already written the Prayers of the People. So, it's pretty much a, "show up for the other planning meeting, practice a time or two, and then show up on our day" thing. I'm fairly excited. Not nervous right now, so hopefully that stays true.

I'm leading worship this Sunday. I wasn't real happy with the sermon I sent off to Pastor for approval, and so I wasn't surprised when he gave me some suggestions. So, I'll be reworking it later. It's cool though, I can take constructive criticism. Yup.

Anyway, I got "home" tonight and Sunscreen was eating some baby food. He gave me big smiles when I came in. That kid is SO flippin' adorable. And then Howard came around the corner and was running in circles because that is what he does when he's excited. He gave me a big hug and a pat on the back and he said, "Awww." That's what he does when he hugs: hug, pat, Aww. These kids are so awesome, and I'm so thankful for them.

And, that's pretty much all I wanted to say right now. I'm just chilling here at Sis and BiL's house. Sis is making dinner for BiL's family this year, and I'm included in on it. My family won't be coming. So, it's kinda sad that YS and YSB won't be here, and that Older Brother the Younger and his wife and son aren't coming either, but such is life and the changes it brings. I have tentative plans to visit Ma and Grandma in their respective nursing homes, and hopefully I can get someone to come with me. We'll just have to see. I hope you all have a safe and happy Thanksgiving. Remember, don't drive when you're about ready to go into a Turkey Coma. It's not safe. :) Later.

Randomness (as if there is much of anything else!)

Hola. Happy Sunday.

Today I am thinking about "church homes." When I was a little girl, my sisters and I didn't go to church, per se. We did, however, go across the street to the Christian Church and do Sunday School. It was a time where we sang kid hymns and had fun. Then, we would all go to our classrooms and have a lesson or something. It was fun. Then, Mom decided when I was 13, that it was time to return to her Lutheran roots. She had been confirmed in the Lutheran Church in the next town over. I think a lot of things prompted her return to the Church. Our father, her husband of 38 years, had died the year previous. She had had a heart attack herself, 6 months after he died, and I was diagnosed with some endocrine things. The way she broached the subject with us, though, was by saying, "I've heard there is a new pastor over at LutheranChurch, and from what I hear, he's really good. We're going to start going." That was about the week before Lent started in 1996. YS and I kind of looked at each other and were like, "Is she serious?"

We liked the ease of the Christian Church, and were not thrilled about going to some new place that we'd only been about two or three times in our life.

That first Wednesday in Lent rolled around, and we went to the service. I honestly don't remember much at all about it, except that it was different from what I was used to, and that Ma made us put dresses on. (I HATE WEARING DRESSES!).

After we got home from that Lenten service, Ma said, "We're going to go on Sunday, too." YS and I were thinking, "Are you kidding me?" But, we started going. And every Saturday night we would ask Ma, "Do we have to go to church in the morning?" And every Saturday night, Ma would say, "Yes. We're going to church in the morning." This went on for probably about six months until she said, "Yes, we're going to church in the morning. Stop asking." So, whatever. The pastor was really nice to us. We just missed our friends and messing around at Sunday School.

I don't really know at what point I actually started LIKING church. I remember once when Ma was away on a weekend and I wanted to go, even though she wasn't there to make us. YS didn't though, so I think she won out. However, I have been to church by myself many times henceforth.

And here I am, at a Lutheran seminary, preparing to become a leader of the Church myself. It's kind of bizarre, this twist in my life that has helped lead me here. YS still doesn't like church, but she is a baptized and confirmed member. Sis also was baptized and confirmed as an adult because she saw YS and I doing it. And she has since had her own children baptized. That makes me thrilled, to say the least.

So, back to "church homes." My home church has been a place of tremendous growth and support for me. The nurturing they have shown is amazing, and I am incredibly thankful for their feedback and caring. So, when I came here, one of the most difficult things has been finding a place to worship that feels "right." The places here in town that I have been to are nice, but for me, there is just something missing. I had a dream one night that I found a place, and I immediately KNEW it was right. Well, a bunch of friends and I went out of town a few weeks ago to worship at a place. When we got out of there and piled back into the car, we all were babbling with excitement because this was "right" for all of us! It's so exciting. We didn't go last week because there was Sunday worship on campus, but this week, I went back and took another friend because the pals I went with last time have already gone for Thanksgiving. I still really liked it. The people are warm and inviting, and they actually WELCOMED AND SPOKE with us! It was so AWESOME!

I'm a little excited; can you tell?! I just hope that when the snow starts a-flyin' that we will continue to be able to go there. It's a great congregation with a new pastor (A recent graduate of the mothership). They still use the LBW (nothing against the ELW, I just have a special fondness for the old green hymnal).

So, even though my church home will always be my church home, it's nice to have a place that fits while I'm here; a place that feels authentic and warm, almost like a fleece blanket. While I'm sure that many people are fed and are happy with the churches in town, I am so thankful for another place where I feel a part of the family again. It's nice. Thanks be to God!

I'm popular tonight.

I must be a popular woman. I was sitting at my desk tonight and my room phone rang. It was a middler with whom I have had a conversation or two. She is from my synod, and she said that the Assistant to the Bishop for Candidacy Affairs is going to be here tomorrow. Furthermore, the A to the B wants to take us to dinner, what with us being members of her synod and all. The plan was for the A to the B to take Middler, me, and the international student our synod is "sponsoring." Cool beans, yo.

Anyway, a few minutes after the phone call, I heard a knock at my door. It was a friend from down the hall. She came in and we talked for a while when the phone rang again! It was International Student saying she wouldn't be able to go tomorrow night because she is working. Bummer.

So, I got off the phone and was talking more with my pal, when ANOTHER knock to my door came. It was my good friend; the one who has taken multiple units of CPE. I have her ice cream in my room because I have a freezer. So, she came in and all three of us had a chat for a while. Then, CPE friend left and my other friend and I chatted a while longer.

So, I got multiple visitors and phone calls tonight. I'm in high demand! Ha. Anyway, I was sidetracked from my Greek paper for a while, but that's totally okay. I needed the break! Ha.

In other news, I rearranged my room! I have zero artistic vision when it comes to arranging rooms, so my friend AO came up with the plan and I did much of the work (AO got a call that she had to take, and I figured I could keep working). I was able to move my stuff because I have a system where I take broken down pop or cereal boxes and put them under the heavy stuff. The slick colored side of the boxes lets even really heavy furniture slide easily across the carpet. I moved my full bookshelf, refrigerator, and futon. Yay! It's how I've been moving furniture by myself for years. Try it sometime; I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.

And with that, I need to go do a few more things and maybe do a little more Greek work tonight. Have a wonderful evening.

Today has been AWESOME!

I am so blessed, it's ridiculous. Wow. Today was my 25th birthday, and it was the BEST birthday I have had in probably at least 9 years. Usually, something bad happens to me on my birthday, but this year, it was ALL good! Wow.

It all started on Friday night. My good friend AO and I were planning a pre-birthday bash in her room. I bought margarita stuff and we invited a bunch of people. Several people came and I made margaritas in my Magic Bullet and it was good fun.

This morning, Sis called me to wish me a happy birthday. We talked for a little while, and I got to talk to Howard for a second, although he just listened to me babbling. It was fun.

A good friend from seminary Facebooked me the other day, and so she took me to lunch. We went to a Chinese place here in town. It was good food and good company. I had a good time with her.

When I got back, I was talking to a good childhood friend online when Older Brother the younger called to wish me a happy birthday. Then I talked with my childhood friend some more. While we were talking, someone knocked on my door and it was two good friends. My friends AO and SH were at the door and SH gave me a fun piece of paper that has a picture of our statue of Martin Luther and a picture of me and it says, "November 10, 2007, Celebrating the Birth of Legends!" And! She gave me a cake type thing. I had told her the previous day all about how when I was a kid, my parents would let the birthday person pick out the dinner and all the family would come over and we'd have dinner and cake and open presents. I told SH what kind of cake Ma used to make, and she found something that is VERY similar. It was so touching that she would go out and find something like that. Thanks a lot, homegirl. You ARE the bomb! AO gave me a birthday card that, when opened, "sings" the tune to Law and Order because we watch SVU every Tuesday night.

Later, I went down to AO's room and we watched "Elf" with Will Ferrell. It was SO funny. I was scream laughing at it because it was so amusing.

I went back to my room for a little while, and then we went down to the Refectory because this is prospective student weekend and we have a coffeehouse where talented students/faculty/family members can get up and do acts. The people here are SO amazingly talented that it's just astounding. There were musical things and funny things, and poems. Awesome. Another good friend, ST was co-MCing the event and when we were about to break for intermission, she said something along the lines of, "Today is my friend Trishmolita's birthday, so I need your help to sing to her! Trishmolita, stand up outta your chair and stand up on it! And 'Jennifer's' birthday is soon, too, so she needs to get up on her chair as well!" So, we got up on our chairs and the WHOLE refectory (faculty, students, staff, and prospective students) sang "Jennifer" and me a rousing rendition of "happy Birthday!" I turned 13 shades of red, but it was fun. Thanks ST! You are AWESOME!

So, the coffeehouse was amazing, even after I was about to explode little pieces of Trish all over the walls. My Summer Greek professor came up to me and wished me a happy birthday. He's a fun guy. Hehe. After that was over, we did Holden Evening Prayer in the chapel. AO and I got a giggling about one of the kids sitting in front of us and we almost had to leave the chapel. Thank goodness we were able to not bust out laughing. After chapel, we were all sharing the peace and a bunch of friends and fellow students were wishing me happy birthday, and a few prospective students did, and then the president of this fine institution wished me a happy birthday. Then, AO and I invited a bunch of people up to her room for some more birthday celebrations. Several people were up and it was good fun.

Then, when I got back to my room, YS had called me and she sang "Happy Birthday" to me on my voicemail. It was cool. So, 3 of my 4 siblings called me to wish me a happy birthday. My friends remembered my birthday and really made it SUCH a special day for me. I got several birthday cards from one of my aunts, from my adoptive family (Sis's neighbors), from Howard and Sunscreen's babysitter, from the friend who took me to lunch, from AO, and I got the "Legends" thing from SH. ST orchestrated the singing, and SO MANY PEOPLE wished me a happy birthday. And about 13 or so people Facebooked happy birthday messages to me. I don't think I've ever felt this special in my whole life. I'm so thankful for the many blessings in my life. This is great community and I'm so thankful. Thanks be to my many great and wonderful friends, and thanks be to God.

A request

I'm curious about who is reading my blog. So, I have a challenge for you! (Don't worry, it's not hard!) Leave me a comment! I promise, it'll be fun. I'm curious because I have some pals here who occasionally read the ol' blog, but today, I had a visitor from town, who uses our internet service provider, and it wasn't the two friends because we were all in class together at that time. I feel like I'm playing "Clue" right now... It couldn't have been Ms. Plum because she was in the kitchen... Hehe. Whatever. Anyway, I'm out, yo.

Vascular Instability

Here at the Castle, we have announcements and fellowship time after chapel. It's pretty cool. From 9:30 a.m. to 10:30 a.m., there are no classes, but everyone can go to chapel and then sit around and chill. Once a week, the announcer asks if anyone has had a birthday or will be having a birthday this week. Today, I was outed by one of my friends because my birthday is coming up. So, one of the professors and I went up to where the announcement "podium" is, and the whole group of people sang happy birthday to us, AND we got to wear party hats, which are also dunce caps because today is dunce day or something. The whole time they were singing, I could feel my face getting redder and redder. It was funny, but then another professor came up and took a picture of us, including my bright red face. It was all in good fun though. The announcer said to me later, "Thanks for being a good sport." Ha.

I'm a blusher, no doubt. I blush ALL the time. I always joke and say, "I'm about ready to explode little pieces of Trish all over the walls!" Hehe. But, anyway, it was fun, and hey, your birthday only comes around once a year, so why not risk a little bit of embarrassment?

Oh! And I have been laughing my head off for a while. For one of my classes, we have to write short papers for our small groups. But, my small group leader has us post them online. The weeks we don't have to post about the readings, we are supposed to comment on those who did have to post. We read "Shadow of the Galilean" and I didn't have to post this week. But, I realized I hadn't commented on anyone's post for this week, and small group was today. So, I got online and posted a reply to one of my classmates who liked how the book isn't written in an "omniscient voice." I also liked that fact. I'm going to put what I wrote, because I think it's hilarious. Here it is:

"I enjoyed reading your post, Friend'sName. I, too, liked the narrative style this book employed. The fact that it was not written from "an omniscient voice" was important because, later Theissen talked about how people today "see" Jesus. We have never personally seen Jesus in the flesh; we simply learn about him and gather up information. Also, according to the beliefs of many people, faith is given as a gift, or as a response to the love of Christ. I, for one was captivated in seeing how people IN Jesus' day might have been thinking about him and his mission and ministry. It's kind of like when you're watching a scary movie and the killer is right behind someone and you scream at the T.V. "LOOK BEHIND YOU!" But if the event were happening in real life, and you were the person in the scene, you'd probably have NO idea to look behind you. Similarly, this book portrayed Jesus, not from a panoramic view, but in a manner that shows that people had no idea what exactly this Jesus guy was all about. No one was there to yell, "LOOK BEHIND YOU!" They had to figure it out for themselves."

I am such a dork. When I was writing that last night, I stopped and read it after I was done and busted out laughing. But, I decided to go ahead and post it anyway. Comedic relief.

And, I was talking to a friend on MSN messenger last night and I was making myself laugh even more about other things. Sometimes, I just need to laugh so much that I find humor in the stupidest things. It's fun. Anyway, have a good day, and a happy dunce day! BTW, dunces were thought to help funnel information into the brains of people better; thus the reason they were worn by the "bad" kid. Ha.

A Weird Dream

I haven't written about any dreams I've had lately. I am not feeling very well today, and so I took a nap this afternoon after my classes were over. It seems I always have weird dreams when I am ill, and today was no exception. Here's the dream:

In the dream, I was not me. I don't even know if "my person" was in the dream. My older brother, the younger (My cool brother) was in the dream and so was "his wife." Although, Bro didn't look like himself, and Bro's wife didn't look like herself. Anyway, we were all having some crisis or something and Bro's wife took him to the desert (in the dream, we were native american or something) and showed him these poles with signs nailed to them. Bro said, "What's the point of this? I'm from Indiana (not true, except some relatives on my dad's side live in Indiana). She said, "Look at the signs! These are people from Grant, Indiana! These ARE your people. You are not alone! There is history here." And Bro was all like, "Wow. You are So right. I have relatives that were out here before me and I'm connected."

And then, their son was being babysat by me and Sis, but Sis was no where around and I was being very irresponsible because I had drawn a bath for him, or maybe Sis drew the bath, but no one was with him, because we were watching Bro and his wife at the poles, although they couldn't see us because we weren't really in bodily presence. Anyway, so we get to their son who is sitting in a very fully bathtub all by himself (He is 4). And he was just sitting there, acting very well. And my grandma was there too. She was kind of watching him, and she was able to remember and she was acting like the matriarch of the family. (BTW, she'll be 94 on Wednesday! Happy Birthday Gram!) and there was a patch of vegetables growing nearby, but they weren't attached to any plants. Instead, they were vegetables like what is in tater tot hot dish (what was served for lunch today; I didn't eat it. I don't like all those vegetables mixin' with my taters). And Bro and his wife came back and we set up camp in the desert there, and watched their son sitting in the very full bathtub. And then I woke up.

It was very bizarre and had a very native-american-y feel to it. Maybe it's because Oldest Brother's wife is a native american (she has lived on a reservation, even). She "left" for a while and I thought they were going to get divorced, but YS called yesterday to say that she is coming back. So, no divorce.

Anyway, so that was my dream, and a little bit of background info on why I may have had a little bit of the slant that was in there. Hasta, yo.

Tomorrow is All Saint's Day.

I know I just posted an obnoxiously happy post, but now I'm going to do a little bit of reflecting.

Tomorrow is All Saint's Day; a day in which the Church celebrates the lives of the saints triumphant. I believe All Saint's Day is a good day. However, it invites reflection. This past year, a few people I loved dearly died. There was Dick in April, as well as "Dorothy," and there was Karen in May. Other people I knew died this year, but those three were the saddest for me. The other people have exceeding worth as well; I don't want to understate their worth. But sometimes in life, we bond with people more cohesively or quickly.

Like "Dorothy." I only knew her for about a month or two, tops. But there was just something special about her. I met her when she was a patient where I did CPE. She reminded me of Ma. They were so similar that I think I projected some things on to her. But she liked me, and I liked her, and when she died, the family was very gracious to me in letting me know when the services were and where. I still speak with her sister sometimes. "Dorothy" is just one example of how we are graced with wonderful people, even if only for a short time.

Karen died in May. She was a good friend of Ma's. Karen used to ask me to come help her get decorations out of her attic. It was tiresome work, but I enjoyed helping her. Doing physical things to help people makes me happy. Plus, the ladder into the attic was somewhat precarious, so I was glad to go up there instead of her. She also had me house and dog sit sometimes, and I enjoyed that. Being trusted, even as a young adult meant a lot to me. Karen also was so proud and supportive of me in my discernment to ministry. She even came to hear me preach one Sunday, despite the fact she was devoutly Catholic. I felt bad for not getting to see her like I said I would (car troubles occurred the weekend I was home and planned to visit), but I am confident she would be gracious to me about that.

And Dick died in April. Dick was such an awesome guy. He was the man Ma dated for a few years. I met him at church one Sunday because his daughters started attending my church after their mother died. I was the lay leader and one of his daughters came up to me and said, "You did a nice job reading, Trisha!" And Dick walked by like a schoolboy, almost because Ma was standing by me. It was cute. Finally, he asked her out, and they spent a few years together. Dick didn't just "put up" with me; he was a strong supporter of me, but he treated me like an adult. He helped me figure things out around the house, and he was always willing to help me. Dick was just a special, special man. I wasn't resentful toward him when he stopped coming around, because I believe it was too hurtful for him to see my mom's decline. He was fantastic to his wife when she was ill, and it would have been selfish of us to expect him to do the same for Ma. His death, despite the fact he had moved on, was so incredibly painful. Dick had been like a dad to me, and I really loved that man. But, I'm confident in God's mercy toward him, and toward the other two as well.

This post really doesn't need to be posted public, but I am so grateful for their lives, that I figured I would share a bit about them on this All Saint's Eve. And so I say, "For all the Saints who now rest from their labors-Thanks be to God!"

Happy Halloween!

Today is Halloween! AND I'M NOT AT WORK!!!!!

This is one of the only times in the past SEVERAL years where I have not had to work on Halloween. I'm thrilled. And what's better is that Seminary has invited the children on campus to come trick-or-treating, EVEN to the dorm rooms! We all received paper pumpkins in our mailboxes to put on our doors if we have goodies for the children. You had BETTER believe I posted mine up. I really like seeing the fun that the kids have dressing up. Heck, I like seeing the fun that the parents have. Some of them have even dressed up along with their kids. It's fun.

My first trick-or-treater was a 2 1/2 year old daughter of a classmate. She and Mama were both ladybugs. It was adorable.

I hear some more coming as I type this. I think I'm more excited than the kids!

Today is ALSO REFORMATION DAY! Yeehaw! It's an all around good day. So, Happy Reforming and Happy Eating Lots of Candy! Wee!

History Test #1 is done!

Today, we had our Foundations of the Church midterm evaluation. This test has been a great source of stress and anxiety for most of the students, including me. When I was an undergraduate, I did not have to study hardly at all. I would glance over my notes the night before a test and most likely, get an A on the test.

That is NOT the case with seminary church history! I studied and studied, oh, and then I studied some more. I read and crammed so much information in my head this weekend that I am feeling a little zapped. We had the test today, and I didn't do really well, but I'm fairly confident that I will at least get credit. I really HOPE I passed. The test was only 25 questions, with two of those being essay questions. I think I answered them adequately enough to pass. We'll just have to see. Hopefully, they will be graded by Thursday.

Anyway, after the test today, I had some lunch, and a good laugh to do the whole "internal reset" thing. And then I realized I needed to go pick something up at a store. I asked a friend if she wanted to ride along, and she said she'd be willing to go with me.

When I walked to her room to let her know I was ready to go, she asked if we could go to a local Adult Beverage shop so she could take in her empty cans and bottles to recycle and get store credit. (Shout out to another good seminary pal for telling me about that program, so I could in turn tell this friend about it). So, we went down to my car and she put her bag of recyclables in there. However, the bag tipped over and all the bottles and cans came out. So, when we got to the store, we had to pick the things up and put them back in the bag. As we were doing that, a seminary professor pulled up. This Adult Beverage Store is NOT in a place where it could be confused where he was going. I was slightly embarrassed, but realized, "Hey, we're all adults here." He said, "Funny seeing you all here!" It was funny. I thought blogworthy, at least.

That is what happened today. It's been a good day for the most part. My main concern is the history test. On the way out of the building at Seminary where the chapel is, I saw the History professor (before class) and said, "Is there grace on Tuesdays?" And he shot back really quickly, "No!" Haha. I don't know if I should be laughing and crying... Yikes..

I'm off to do some more work now. Have a good day.

Anniversary!

Today, October 26, 2007, is the 10 year anniversary of my baptism! My younger sister and I were baptized on Reformation Sunday, but it was done "privately." If I'd known then what I know now, I would have totally done it in front of the congregation. Ah well, can't change the past. Anyway, I'm going to call YS to remind her. Too bad we can't have candles here at the Mothership, or I'd be burning my baptismal candle to commemorate. Have a good day.

Just chillin'

Today has been a pretty good day.

I woke up pretty refreshed this morning. I got to bed AND TO SLEEP before midnight last night, and so I got about 8 1/2 hours of sleep. It was GLORIOUS! Yeehaw. This morning, my first class was pretty interesting. I don't know if it's because I'd already done the reading and because I was well-rested, or what. It was nice, though.

Chapel was cool, too. I really like Wednesdays because we do a global setting. I really REALLY like the Gospel acclamation hymn. It's happy and bouncy. Also, one of the new faculty members was "on" for this week. It was funny because on Monday, he read the lesson very animatedly, and it's like he was telling a story. Because the lessons for Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday were from the same story, I was captivated. I almost slept in on Tuesday, but I thought, "No! I need to find out what happens!" Then, today, Dr. F. finished that story. It was really neat the way he did it. He's a good preacher. He also seems very approachable, and so I've decided to be less intimidated by him.

The teachers here intimidate the crap out of me! I know they shouldn't, but I am very intimidated by about 99% of them. My psych profile says I have "a mild distrust of authority," and so I'm thinking maybe that's my issue. Who knows? I realize I shouldn't feel this way, and so I'm making an intentional effort to not be intimidated by these people.

The rest of the classes went pretty well today. In my Exegetical Class, the teacher and I had a kind of "bonding" moment. I have a bizarre sense of humor and if something is even remotely funny, or if the person is trying, I generally at least give a little smirk. Dr. L. was making these little jokes and I giggled a little at the first one, and then he made another one a minute or two later and I got a smile on my face. He looked my way and said, "I know I can always look at Trish because she gets it." Haha. Too bad I can't get the subject matter! Ooh, snap!

Tonight, we had "Seminarians Gone Wild" night out. Some pals and I went to Applebee's. Last time we went, we got this thing on our receipts where if we called and took the survey, each receipt could get 3 dollars off their next purchase. No one else wanted to do it, so I took their receipts and did them all. I gave them back to the people who gave them to me, but with the validation codes. Except the guy friend who went with me. He didn't want his back. It was fun.

And to burn off all the calories, the gals and I went for a walk this evening. It was wonderful. I haven't been on a walk in too long. I enjoy walking, and too soon, it's going to be perilous with snow and ice and I won't be ABLE to go. I'm glad I got to go tonight. It was fun.

And now, I need to quit blogging so I can go study more for my history test on Tuesday. I'm proud of myself; I'm doing a lot of the reading, and I'm writing answers out already. I want to do well! Pray for me!

Overall, a good weekend

This weekend was pretty busy. I went home to preach at a church that is in a neighboring town to my home church. I led worship/preached there this summer, and the pastor asked me back. That's the main reason I went home. But, my weekend started long before this morning.

I said a short grace at the meal at my cousin's wedding reception a few weekends ago in the suburbs of Chicago. I was honored to be asked by my aunt and uncle. They are fantastic people, and I was glad to be of service. My aunt and uncle had wanted to get a hotel room for me and pay for my car expenses for getting there, but I told them that wasn't necessary because I was planning on going to the wedding anyway, and I was leading worship on Sunday, so I couldn't stay overnight. So, this past week, they emailed me telling their plans to come to SeminaryTown for some R&R after having spent much of the last year planning/organizing for the wedding, and my aunt made the wedding dress and bridesmaid dress. (She's VERY talented). Anyway, they were going to stay in a quaint little town about 20 miles away, but they couldn't because everyplace was booked or way too expensive. So, anyway, I digress. They ended up staying in SeminaryTown. They emailed and asked if they could take me to dinner on Friday. I laughed a little because I had heard they were coming my way, and I was going to invite them to a concert the seminary was having on Friday, but they emailed me first. So, we made plans to go eat and then come see the concert.

When they got here Friday, we didn't know where to eat, so we talked with some friends who were around, but nothing was really sticking out. Aunt and Uncle are kinda fancy people, and the only places around here I've been haven't been very fancy. But, Aunt remembered a place in nearby Quaint town that is good. So, we went there. We made it back in time for the concert, which was PHENOMENAL! Oh MY GOSH, was it great! There are good singers, and there are great singers. These people were GREAT singers. I myself cannot carry a tune in a bucket with a mule helping me, but I appreciate those who can sing because Ma was a fantabulous singer. She has sung at numerous weddings, funerals, community celebrations and dedications, has won community wide karaoke contests, and has done a gazillion solos at church. When she sang, boy, people listened. The soprano of the group reminded me of Ma, and it was rather nice to hear.

After the concert, the relatives left, and some pals and I went to the winery. I had a good time. I like being sociable.

Saturday morning, I woke up super early so I could get ready and go home (About 3 hours from the seminary is where my "home" is). Sis and BiL's neighbors who are moving (next week) invited us to go with them to the Wildlife Prairie Park in Peoria. So, I went and we took the boys and it was a good time. I love parks and this was a nice outing.

Then Sunday, I led two worship services at neighboring church. Things went well, except I made a bunch of mistakes in the first service. But, to my credit, they were not all my fault. There were several errors in the worship bulletin and I rolled with the punches as best I could. I got good comments, and I hope that the people were able to hear a good word today.

YS (Younger Sister) came to the late service today, which was nice because she doesn't come to church very often. But, she came today and it was good to see a smiling, familiar face out there. I love YS dearly. She's a wonderful sister and a great friend. After worship, we went to visit Ma. She knew who we were today, before we could say anything. I was a little afraid at first because she just looked at us like we were random people. But, that could be because she was walking around without her glasses on. She said someone "stole" them right away from her. I went to the nurse's station and they had a bunch of glasses there. I saw a pair that looked like hers, so I took them to her, and they were hers. A nurse came and wrote Ma's last name on the inside of the earpiece so that there would be no question next time.

Ma was still pretty quiet, but she talked a wee bit more this time. She also looked less like Grandma looked. The doctor came and looked at her the other day, and he thinks she has arthritis in her back and hip. IT sucks because she's in a lot of pain all the time. Yikes. They are going to try some things to get her feeling better. I hope it works.

While we were sitting in Ma's room, a lady came in and sat on the bed next to me. Because the place Ma is happens to be a locked dementia unit, that gives you an idea that all the people there are fairly bad off. This lady launched into this story about how she was SO mad at her husband because he didn't wait to eat dinner til we were there. I talked with her a while and went along with her story. I figured her husband was probably dead and she was living in the past. I said a couple of things about how I hoped she could forgive him, and how we had eaten before we got there, so everything would be alright. And near the end of our conversation she said, "I feel better now. You helped me think through these things better. I can see how our lines could have gotten crossed. Jack probably thought he was doing it the way I wanted. Thank you, dear." Our conversation probably lasted about 15-20 minutes. Ma and YS just sat there looking at me like, "What are you talking about, Trish?" Because I didn't want to dismiss her as whatever, because if the woman were cognizant of what was going on, she'd probably feel bad for "interrupting" and then being angry at her probably dead husband for nothing. Then an aid came and took her back to her room. YS told me later in the car that she was totally impressed with my mad skills at calming the lady down and helping her be less angry at her probably dead husband. Because this lady was MAD. CPE skills in real life, folks. Learn 'em, love 'em, live 'em. :) Ha.

Anyway, so then YS and I went to my childhood home (which is not the same as "home") and we cleaned out the freezer and took the trash to the curb for pickup. We also did some home repair and YS took some of her things to her house. Then, I got a massage! (YS was going to school to become a massage therapist). It felt awesome, but I need to make sure to drink plenty of fluid so I don't have a "healing crisis" tomorrow. After the massage, YS took me on my first 4-wheeler ride around town. That was fun.

I stayed "home" a little longer than I'd planned today. I chased my nephew around and we played for a while. He was getting crabby cuz Sis wouldn't let him play in the bathroom, because he wanted a bath. Sis and BiL do league bowling on Sunday nights, and BiL's niece comes and watches the boys. But, she doesn't have enough hands to watch Sunscreen AND give Howard a bath. So, I gave him a bath and we played and had a lot of fun. The only thing is, it is REALLY hard to get him out of the tub because he loves it so much. And, he's been doing this screaming thing lately, where he'll get mad and just start screaming at whomever is making him angry. So, there was an instance yesterday and one today where after he started screaming, I got down at his level and let out a semi-loud yell. He did not like it either time, but I thought it was funny. I'm mean like that.

When it was time for me to go, I gave Sunscreen a hug and a kiss bye-bye, and then I gave Howard a hug and a kiss goodbye, but he started crying because he knew I was leaving. I felt really bad and I had to turn around and leave the house even though he was bawling his eyes out. Then I felt AWFUL because I had to go back in because I left my tennis shoes in there. He was still crying when I went back in, so I picked him up and held him, and he dive bombed my face with a big, wet baby kiss. I went and sat down with him for a minute on the couch and he got down and pulled me toward the floor to play with his toys with him. I did that for a little while, and then slipped out without him seeing. I had told him bye-bye a million times, but I still feel bad for going without saying goodbye the last time. But, it probably kept him from crying again. I love those boys (and my first born nephew, too!) so much I could puke. They are such special little people. I am anxious to see what they will be like when they get older. But, I am happy with them being wee ones right now.

Anyway, this has been a really long, rambling post, that probably means nothing to any of you, but whatever. I enjoyed my weekend for the most part. I am loved.

Patterns

I've noticed a pattern in my blogging life. I tend to blog far more frequently when things are going well and I'm feeling happy and self-affirmed. But, when I'm less happy, I tend to blog less, which makes me feel almost kind of guilty.

I was talking with my advisor today because she likes to see her advisees at least once a month. We talked a bit about how seminary is going, and then we got onto the subject of my mom. She has an idea of what's going on because she was my advisor last semester when things really started going downhill with her. As we talked, she told me that she hopes I don't feel guilty for being here and not in Illinois with my family, and that I don't feel guilty for feeling sad about the situation. Pretty much, she said she hopes I'm not feeling guilty about any of this. She also said, "I hope you are able to talk with some of your friends about this stuff." I do sometimes, but then I feel like I'm being a huge bummer and dampening everyone's day. And, how do I feel about that...? Guilty. I don't want to be THAT friend that has to always be upset about something and have people all feeling sorry for me all the time.

With that said though, I do need to talk about the crap sometimes. This is an unbelievably hard time right now for me, as I'm confident it is for my siblings, my mom's siblings, and really, anyone who has ever loved my mom. This is probably the hardest thing I've ever had to go through, although I'm not 100% sure, because really, how do you qualify/quantify grief, because grief is cumulative?

I guess blogging is a good outlet for me. It's a way that I can think through some of my feelings, and in a small way, let people in on what's going on, since I'm not always good at letting people know what's up.

I was going to do some reflection on other types of patterns, but I'm tired and I think I might be getting sick, so I don't want to right now.

But, before I go, a really quick story about the end of the meeting with my advisor: We stood up and she wanted to give me a hug. But, I am NOT AT ALL a touchy-feely type person. Several seminary pals have seen my "You're-Invading-My-Personal-Bubble" posture before. But, I hate shutting people down, so she gave me a hug and then she said, "I made you blush!" And then I left and she was laughing. But, it's okay. If I hadn't been so weirded out, I would have been laughing too. Even though I'm still slightly weirded out, I can chuckle a bit. I'm a dork, and that's okay.

Lutheran Guilt

I haven't blogged in a week. My Lutheran guilt is coming out. I beg your forgiveness.

Not much has been going on. We had R&R days (That's Reading and Research; NOT rest and relaxation) on Monday and Tuesday. I tried to do some catching up. For the most part, I am caught up. Except in history. Because I'm a slacker.

I'm not going home this weekend, and I'm happy about this. I love my sisters and their significant others and the children, but I feel guilty when I don't go visit Ma, and I feel craptastic when I do. It's easier to stay here and focus on school and things. I guess I'm a little selfish that way.

Anyway, it's gotten cool outside, and it's definitely sweatshirt weather. Some of us went down to the another friend's apartment last night for "seminarian night out" and we had pizza delivered and we watched "EVAN ALMIGHTY." On the walk back, I was freezing. I'm a wuss.

I have decided that I care too much about some things. Sometimes that is good, and sometimes not so good. This week, it's not so good. I'm talking about the guy who died last year at Restaurant. It will be one year later this week. I didn't even know the guy. Why is it still bothering me?

Don't answer that. I have some insight about it already.

I need to go read some history now so that I will not be buried in the books all weekend long. I have Spiritual Practices small group later today, so I'll be going now. Have a delightful day.