32 times

Today I was talking to YS because I needed to have a break from Greek. We were talking about getting together next weekend to hang out because I'll be home and she's not working. However, we both have plans for Saturday. Hopefully we can do something another day. Who knows. I'm slightly bummed because I'm not sure if I'll be able to go to the annual Labor Day parade in one of the small towns by my town on Monday. It's TRADITION that we go, sit on BiL's best friend's truck, and watch the parade while drinking some lovely adult beverage from a styrofoam cup. (Hey, the kids get their treats when the floats throw candy; we need our treats too!) Opening worship is slated for Monday at 6:30, I think, and if that's the case, I might not have time to see the parade. Yikes. Hopefully something'll work out though.

Anyway, we were talking about Ma today. She's been living in a nursing home for about a month or so. However, that nursing home is trying to give her the boot because she has an agenda to get out of there and go home, even though that's not a possiblity for her or us right now. She gets out and gets in peoples' cars, thinking that it is her car and that she can still drive. So, the administrator has been bugging Sis to find a new place; a place with a locked dementia unit. My feelings about the place she is are mixed right now, but hey, what are ya gonna do?

I've decided that I can't keep being so upset about this situation. I was really sad about the whole situation for a while. I didn't realize it was obvious until a good seminary friend expressed concern. So, I think I've come to a point where I have realized that the situation isn't what I would like, but I can't do anything to change it besides be there for my family. So, I think I've rebounded back to funny/charming Trish fairly well. I've been telling jokes and things in Greek and my class has been laughing quite a bit. I enjoy making people laugh. I think it's one of my spiritual gifts. Everywhere I go, people tell me that they enjoy my sense of humor. My CPE mates told me last semester that they were surprised when I didn't list my sense of humor as one of my stronger gifts. Until then, I hadn't really thought of it as a "spiritual gift." But, I guess it can be. So, lemme use it, eh?

So anyway, you must be wondering why this post is titled, "32 times." Ha. Ma has only slept a few hours total the past few days, and in one evening, she escaped 32 times. They had to PHYSICALLY carry her back in. It's not funny, and yet it is, kinda. Call me a heartless beast, but I mean, really... Laugh or go insane. I know what my choice is. Have a nice day.

Skechers No More

Well, tonight, I decided that my Skechers have finally fallen apart bad enough for me to put them out of commission. I've worn them for about two years or so, and I went skydiving BOTH times in them. I sported my neon orange shoelaces in them, walked, hiked, and lived in those shoes. I'm going to miss them.

Plus, my other tennis shoes have pink on the bottom and orange doesn't go very well with the pink. But, I don't care, because the orange shoelaces are NOT going away. I need COLOR in my life! Ha.

Oh, and I had a weird dream last night. Considering it's been a while since I've shared any dreams with my adoring public, I figured I'd share this one: I was pregnant and I gave birth to a baby. But, it wasn't MY baby. A woman had been pregnant with triplets and she lost two of them and wanted me to carry the 3rd one to term for her. So, I gave birth to this baby and was suddenly transported to the classroom where my section of Greek is held. I turned and decided to go, and I walked past one of my classmates, turned around, and said, "See y'all later! I just had a baby!" or something like that. It was weird. Anyway, that was the dream. I told the class the gist of the dream during class and they laughed hard, which in turn made me laugh. I think we're at the point in class where we're teetering perilously close to the edge of insanity. Ha.

In other news, our 5th Greek vocab test is tomorrow. I think I'm pretty much ready. I want to ace it because I missed one last week. I do think that I have a pretty decent handle on this week's other stuff though. I'm pumped. I want to do well! We're almost done and I don't want to just barely squeak by. Pray for me! (Proseuxete emoi!!) Ha. How apropos, considering we just learned imperatives today. Later.

Spontaneity

This past Friday, I got back to my room after chapel and sat down. I was surprised at just how few people were in chapel Friday. There were probably 10 people, tops. I know that a lot of students go home on the weekends because they're married or have children or whatever, so that's totally understandable. However, I was BORED out of my MIND last weekend (besides Saturday night). So, I sat down, flipped open my phone to look at the time, and said, "If I leave now, I can be home by 8:00. And whaddaya know? I actually packed a bag and left! Without thinking it through or rationalizing it or anything. Now, that is very unusual for me. Usually I think things through for a long time. I just like to think of everything. But, I decided to go home this weekend, and so I did.

I had a really good weekend, for the most part. I loved seeing my nephews and Sis and BiL. I didn't get to see YS, but I will on Labor Day weekend probably. I really love my family, and missing them is one of the only things that really bothers me about being here. But Howard still remembers me and is excited to see me. Sunscreen also looks SO MUCH DIFFERENT! They're both adorable boys. I wish I could see my oldest nephew (he's 4) more often. But, I'm very blessed through my siblings and their children.

Anyway, not that you all were terribly interested in my weekend, but that is really all I had to post about.

Oh, and the 14th was my 1 year anniversary for my first skydive! Yeehaw. Anyway, have a good week.

Today was cool.

And not in the temperature sense.

Which is good, because I was worried slightly there for a bit, what with waking up about 6 times in the night for various reasons.

After Greek, studying, lunch, studying, chapel, and more studying, some of us dorm students were planning on having somewhat of a "Bon Voyage" to our beloved Meet & Greet Coordinator. "Michelle" was the first friend I made here last semester, and she has served wonderfully as one who meets new students and does her best to make sure they get settled in. She is heading off for internship tomorrow, and thus, we decided to have festivities. Two students made a big card that a lot of us signed, and I offered to make margaritas in the lounge for those who wished to come. I bought the pre-made stuff and some ice today, and brought it back here for tonight. Then, at the appointed hour, I took it down, and people started meandering in. It was SO much fun. We didn't get all drunkered up. We just were able to enjoy one another's company, play a little Wii bowling, laugh, and have an all around good time. Tonight was probably the funnest time I've ever had here. I used up all the ice I bought, and most of the margarita stuff, but I'd rather blow that on friends than drink by myself. :) It was fun. I'll probably be regretting it when I get a big fat "F" on my next Greek exam, but, in the words of Julian of Norwich, "All will be well, all shall be well, all manner of all things shall be well." or something like that. Have a good night.

Oh, and this is my 300th post!

Everyone has a secret.

PostSecret is a website that allows people to mail in their secrets on postcards. Some secrets are joy-filled, while others are filled with sorrow. Some are secrets involving others, yet some are very personal and private. The point is that people often find freedom in telling their secret, even if only anonymously on a postcard that is posted to a website by a man they could possibly never even meet. Everyone has a secret. This video shows many secrets, and is in its own way, quite powerful.

The wheels keep on turnin'

First off, let me preface this post by saying that things are going pretty well for the most part. This piece of writing is basically just some thoughts I've been having.

Ma went to live in a nursing home almost three weeks ago. She doesn't like it at all, but we don't think she realizes she's living there. The times I've talked to her, she seems to think she's visiting someone else. I was talking to YS today, and she said that they called Sis the other day to tell her to find someplace else to place Ma because Ma keeps escaping. This place has been restraint free for 70 years, and they don't want to start up again now. So, we're probably going to have to move her farther away, because, to my knowledge, there aren't any locked dementia units near "home."

Because Ma no longer lives at home, and because OB has his own house, no one is left at home. No one. There is no one to come and go, sit on the porch, or get the mail. The last one kinda had me in a funk last week. YS went to the post office and had Ma's mail forwarded to Sis, and had my address changed here to the Mothership. P.O. Box 81 for us is no more. It doesn't seem like a big deal, but it feels like it is. This is the address I memorized when I was a kid, and the address where I received mail (that made me feel important). But, I no longer get any mail there; not by my full choice, but by circumstance. But, I'm not moving home just so I can keep getting mail there. We all must move on, and so I am realizing this further.

I also have been pondering a lot about Clinical Pastoral Education lately. While in CPE, I really "enjoyed" (if that is a word you can use when dealing with illness and death) my time. As I reflect back on my time in CPE, I am continuing to find the exceeding value of those few months, and those people with whom I shared my CPE time. I have taken the training I received out of that place, and have tried to implement it in my family, and in social and other settings. I have been finding myself listening more intently and caring more deeply. This is a good thing. I like listening to people; to their stories, to their struggles, to the mundane, to their joys, and even to their fears. I like trying to speak a word of grace and hope to those who come to me. So, I've been finding myself contemplating taking another unit of CPE next summer. At this point, I'm not sure if I will or not, but I know that I have a place at my previous CPE location. Supa included in his evaluation of me a sentence that read, "I would take Trish as a student again with no reservation." So, it's something I will be considering and discerning these coming months.

I also have been reading about and viewing much of the Churchwide Assembly the last day and a half. As a matter of fact, I have it playing now. I watched the fourth ballot for the election of a new Church secretary. I have read that David Swartling has been elected. If my memory serves me correctly, he is a lawyer. I also watched the gratitude expressed to outgoing Secretary Lowell Almen. Thanks be to God for his many years of service, and for his dry, and yet amusing humor. I read the many pages on www.elca.org/assembly concerning chaplaincy, pastoral counseling, and clinical education. Unfortunately, the number of ELCA leaders engaging in this type of leadership is decreasing in a fairly dramatic way. And while I was reading this, I think I may have felt a tug toward this type of ministry. I'm really, REALLY not sure if this was really a tug, or if maybe it was just me being "nostalgic" or appreciative of my time in CPE. But I do know that I appreciate Supa and the man of faith and grace he is, and I pray and hope that many other people like him join the ranks of those who try to shape learning minds to reach out to people who are living with pain and fear.

And so, as I look back on my short life and the things I've seen and done, I think that perhaps the hardships I have faced and am facing could be seen as gifts for chaplaincy or as a CPE supervisor ministry. Even more of a gift is the fact that God has remained faithful and loving to me, despite my sometimes angry cries and prayers to God, and despite my own unfaithfulness. So as to not put the cart before the horse, I will discern about a second unit of CPE, as multiple units are required to become a chaplain and supervisor. I'm also very early on in my theological education, and I know that I will have time to discern. Don't get me wrong, ordained leadership is still very much where I feel called. The question is merely, "To what type of ordained ministry am I called?"

Life is most assuredly an interesting ride.

Agios Cow, Dude!

I totally just took an IQ test online that said my IQ is 142, which qualifies me as "A UNIVERSAL GENIUS!!!" Yeehaw. If only I could trust the scientific validity of Testriffic.

Congratulations!

My dear, good friend Jacki got married today! It was a really beautiful ceremony. It was held in a little chapel on the campus where she went to college. I think it was extra nice because the whole ceremony just seemed so intimate. I'm all for big weddings, but this one was refreshing in the smaller size. Also, the chapel was just a really neat place for a wedding. Knowing Jacki and how much she appreciated her time at college, I know this was a really good place for her to get married. She and her new husband asked me to read during the wedding, and I was honored to say yes. I walked to the front, looked out, and read what they asked me to read, and it was just really something to not even have to use a microphone. Lest I really start repeating myself, I really enjoyed the day.

Before the wedding, I met up with three of my other friends from high school in a town nearby the college town. We had lunch, walked around a mall, and then went to the wedding. I got there a little early to be in some pictures, and I made some jokes with the photographer, some random people, and some of the people I knew. Then, after the ceremony, we went back to nearby town and had dinner at a nice Italian place. It was a day of fun, joy, and laughter. I'm grateful to have been a part of the ceremony, and to have been included in the day. I'm even more grateful for the friends I got to see today; friends who are easy to just pick up like we've never been apart. We always laugh so much when we're together, and now I can't wait for Labor Day when the bride, my friends, and I get together and share more of each others' lives! I love those people! AND CONGRATULATIONS, JACKI!!!

A thought

I was just reading Dooce.com's archives and something the writer (Heather B. Armstrong) wrote made me think. She was writing about being stung by a bee. I thought it was kinda weird because bees usually die after they sting someone, don't they? Yeah. And the way it sounded, Heather B. Armstrong was not doing anything to provoke the bee because the friend she was with is incredibly allergic to bees and she had her baby strapped to her front with one of those baby holding things.

So the question is, "Why did that bee just sting her for no reason?"

But really, that's not the question at all. My question is, why do sometimes we get angry and do things for no good reason? I know many hotheaded folks, and I myself used to have a very bad temper, so now I find myself wondering, if we were like bees, we might die after we lose our temper. That might make a person think before losing her temper.

When I was doing my Chaplain thing, one of my calls was for a young man who had been hit a few times by another guy. The young man lost consciousness, quit breathing, and lay in the hospital for a couple of days on life support before the family acted on what they believed the young man's wishes were. So, he died. After being hit twice. With an average-Joe's fists.

And the thing that gets me is that if the "perpetrator" had simply stayed in his car and driven away, the young man might (And I stress, "MIGHT" here because the situation is complicated, but I'm not at liberty to discuss that) still be alive. If the bee hadn't decided to sting for something so stupid as a few cruel words, countless lives wouldn't have been so deeply wounded, families might still be intact, and another young man wouldn't be in deep, deep trouble for being hotheaded.

It troubles me when people I love act hotheadedly and threaten action. The police have a saying, "You choose your victim as he is." That means if you jump some stranger who already has a medical condition, and you therefore "cause" death, you're responsible. Some physical conditions are not easily spotted. People look healthy all the time, but we don't know what's going on inside them. Oftentimes THEY don't know. So, why risk it? Why not show a little grace to those who are less gracious, that they might see and learn what unmerited favor is like? Why be that bee who stings for no good reason and loses its life? Why risk so much to gain so little? What-a little ego boost for being able to avenge one's self? It's not worth it. Get a handle on that anger. The better work is among the flowers.

Wee!

I'm really beginning to like it here!

Therapy

After Greek today, my Greek pal "Marty" and I got together for a little bit of ping pong. We played for a few minutes last night, and after class today, I asked her if she'd be willing to play a bit more. After lunch, we met down in the basement where the ping pong table is, and we played. I really enjoy it because it's a good Non-Greek conversation. I've asked her about her life and where she's been, and she's asked about me and where I've been. Marty is a little bit older than I am, and she's had some really interesting life experiences. I'm grateful that she shared some of them with me. One of her life experiences includes a time when she was a P.E. teacher. Among many other things, she taught self-defense.

Self Defense has always been one thing I've been interested in learning. Marty told me that a lot of self-defense is psychological/cognitive. We discussed how we're socialized and how to step back and realize this. It was a very interesting conversation. The methodic back and forth of the ping pong ball also had a calming effect on me. It was almost like a therapy session, even though neither of us spilled our guts fully about what we've done and what our lives are like. But, it was refreshing, to say the least.

When I got back to my room a minute ago, I woke up my computer and started reading an article I had opened prior to going down. As I read it, I realized that people are able, a lot of the time, to get things they need by talking to accessible friends. Sometimes that's not an option though, when we don't want to weigh our friends down, or when we don't want to change the pace or heading or content of our relationship. But, when we are able to find these friends, it is a good thing. Don't get me wrong, the lighthearted friendships are NOT!!! bad things at all. Maybe having friends is like a box of crayons; they're all great, but you wouldn't normally color a cloud green. Anyway, so this article also had a really interesting quote that I thought fit well with the conversation Marty and I had about self defense:

"All violence is unsuffered suffering."*

Out of context it may not make a whole lot of sense, but it is something you can think about. :) Have a nice day.

*-Quote taken from LeadershipJournal.net
The link is: http://www.christianitytoday.com/leaders/newsletter/2007/cln70730.html

I didn't flunk

I didn't flunk my Greek exam. I didn't do as well as I would have liked, though. I need to work harder (if that's even possible). I think I studied more this past week than I studied for my whole undergrad career! ha. Oh well.

I went home this weekend. I preached at a neighboring church. The service went long and I don't feel too good about that. Not that it's my fault. We sang a lot of hymns. Oh well. I myself don't mind going over, but some people from "my" church came because I have a reputation of getting people out early. Then, we ended up staying late. Oh well. I got a lot of good comments on my sermon, so that was good. I'm always amazed that when I go to other churches and shake hands at the end that so many people say, "Thanks for being here this morning. We hope to have you back!" It's nice to know that people think I'm doing a good job. Unless they're patronizing me. But, I'm going to choose to believe they're honest about what they say.

Anyway, I didn't do any Greek this weekend because the Prof. said at the end of class Friday, "Your assignment for this weekend is to NOT do ANY Greek at all." So, I took his advice. I got some much needed sleep. I turn stoopid when I'm lacking sleep, and that was most definitely the case. So, I slept in on Saturday and woke up refreshed. Then, I got back to the Mothership tonight and took a nap. But people kept calling me and interrupting. Ah well. Hopefully I'll be able to sleep tonight.

YS, Ma, and I went to lunch today. The food was good. I left my leftovers in Sis's fridge to give to "Howard" for lunch tomorrow or something. He's such a cute kid! He's trucking all over! Last Sunday we had to coax him to walk, and now he just gets up and does it like, "Yeah, I walk.. How 'bout it?!" When I got home Friday, I peeked around the corner and saw BiL's mom (who is babysitting him until the real babysitter gets back from vacation) and said, "Hi!" And he heard me and came right for me. I love that kid like crazy. I felt bad for leaving today without getting to tell him goodbye and give him lubbins. I don't think I'll be going home for a while.

Ok, well, with that, I think I'm going to go now. I'll talk to y'all later.

Gadzooks!

I think I may have just flunked my first Greek exam. The prof. handed out the test, I looked at it, and the entire singular second declension just flew right out of my head. I'm just hoping and praying to at least get a "C" on it.

On the brighter side, though, I totally aced my vocab quiz yesterday. 100% A+. Yeehaw. Maybe I still have a chance! :) Anyway, we have to go back around 11:00 and see how we did. I'm REALLY looking forward to that! One week down, four and a half to go!

Here or there.

Well, I'm coming along in Greek; not as fast as I'd like, but I'm getting there.

YS called me today. I wasn't in my room to answer it, though. I tried calling back, but she didn't answer, so I called Sis. Mom is going to live in a nursing home on Friday.

I don't know how I'm feeling about this. I think I'm probably blocking it so that I can stay focused on Greek. That may sound callous, but I can't change Ma's situation. OB is taking a job where he'll be travelling all around doing carpentry work at places pretty much all over the country. No one else is able to do what he's been doing. I wish he'd given us more time to get things worked out, but what can we do? Things did work out. Hopefully Ma won't hate us for this.

I gotta go do some studying now. Have a nice day.

It's all Greek to me.

Greek started today. I've been chatting with a few "upperclasspeople" about it. They've given me some valuable insight. But, I'm totally not getting some of this. I think I've got the alphabet down pretty well, but some of the other rules are just above me right now. So, my question is for those who have BTDT, should I be worried if things aren't flying right into my cognition right away?

Oh, and by the way, I only am on the computer because I took a break to write a sermon for Sunday, and because I think I was focusing too hard on it for a little while there. It's been about two hours, so I'm going to get back to my work. Comments, suggestions, and encouragement are strongly welcomed! Later, Gators.

Yo, Adrian!

Hey. I'm back at the Mothership. Got back about an hour ago. Greek starts tomorrow, so we're having an opening worship, light dinner, and orientation time. Should be interesting.

There's no crying in baseball.

The only really hard part about leaving this morning was kissing the boys goodbye. Especially because Howard was being a stinker in church today, so BiL took him out to the fellowship hall. Then, at the end of the service when I was heading back to shake Pastor's hand, he saw me and excitedly yelled for me. I laughed. Pastor and I chatted for a brief second, and then I went to see him. I love that kid. Anyway, after next Sunday when I preach at a neighboring church, I plan to not go home for a while. It's time to really dig into this "living here" thing. Yup. That's the plan.

Chinese Food and Peanut M&Ms

Ok, but definitely NOT together. Ha.

Last night, one of my bestest pals and I hung out. I went to his apartment complex and went up the stairs to walk to his apartment, but as I rounded the corner, I almost knocked this guy over the railing. He apologized, I apologized, and all was good. When I got to my pal's apt, he said I could come in and then he asked, "So, did you see a wiry, nerdy lookin' kid on your way up?" I said, "yeah, why?" and he said, "He's my new roommate!" My pal and this kid are moving ~100 yards from "Dan's" teeny weeny apt to a 2 bedroom one. I'm happy for him.

Anyway, I digress...

"Dan" and I hung out for a little while. "Cole" came back and we all chatted for a bit. I apologized for about knocking him over the railing, and he laughed and accepted my apology. After a bit he had to go. Dan and I went and ate at a Chinese Buffet! I LOVE CHINESE BUFFETS!!!! I was kinda upset because I hadn't gotten to one on my break, and that was one of my goals. So, Dan let me pick where we went, and we both had a hankerin'. So, it was good stuff. After dinner, we went back to his apt. and hung out for a while. I love hanging out wtih Dan. "Dan" is the same friend who went with me to the helicopter ride, our first skydive, hiking, and a variety of other activities. I have a lot of really awesome friends. I'm so thankful for them.

Then I came home and ate a bunch of peanut M&Ms.

Fuddy Duddy

Sorry for being such a stick in the mud lately.

Letting Go

Things change. Sometimes the change can bring positive things for us; sometimes not. Sometimes the changes can even make us angry or regretful. I learned in CPE that change=grief, and I believe this to be true. We also learned that new grief often taps into old grief. I'm learning more and more that this is true, and that the grief doesn't have to be about death. It can be about the loss of a memory or a feeling or any other number of things.

I guess I'm just sad that as years go by, I'm not able to recall voices or smells like I used to. I'm also sad that other people lose their ability to realize the importance of recalling these things. But, it's not like I can rewind and get these things back. I just have to keep trucking on, knowing that it's not the end of the world.

This post seems to be remarkably vague, but I'm just thinking about a lot. Thanks for bearing with me.

I didn't get a college degree for nothin'!

Just a note that I'm thrilled about:

I'm TOTALLY smoking the people tonight on Jeopardy!

It's a big deal to me because one of my life goals was to defeat the computer at SNES Jeopardy. I've been able to do that, but I still like knowing the "questions" in response to the answers they give. Anyway, that's all I have to say.

Love

So, as I was finishing up my last post, I decided to do a little bit of reading of my own blog. As I was doing that, Howard started crying. Sometimes he does that in the middle of the night, but usually he stops fairly quickly. Tonight though, he just kept crying and it was getting worse. I went up there and picked him up out of his crib. Tonight was the first time I've ever done that in the middle of the night. He was so upset, but I don't know why. There is a twin bed in the nursery where he sleeps, but no chair, so I held him and we laid on the bed. I turned on his little radio thing that plays "Joyful, Joyful We Adore Thee" and projects a scene onto the ceiling. He quit crying pretty much as soon as I started holding him, but I could tell he was still upset. He was doing that thing with his breathing where he would breathe in a quick breath because he'd been crying so hard. Anyway, we laid on the bed and he sucked his little thumb and fell back asleep. Then, I put him back in his crib and realized that I needed to come back down here and sign off the Internet. But, I thought, "Man. I love that kid so much that it doesn't even bother me to have to go into his room and hold him for 15 minutes while he calms down in the middle of the night." I love a lot of people, and I love them deeply, but my boys have a special place in my heart. I didn't know I could love that deep. Thanks be to God for the gift of special children in our lives, and for allowing us to be a source of love and comfort for them like God is for us.

Fun

So, after a week of watching the boys, I got to leave the house tonight for something other than my nightly walk. Sis, BiL, Howard, Sunscreen, and I met BiL's sister and her man at the driving range. I'd never been to a driving range before, but it was really fun. We grabbed our golf bags and "bought" buckets of balls, and whacked around for a couple of hours. Not to sound conceited or whatever, but I was totally impressed with 85% of my hits or so. I'm not too good at distance, but I was pretty consistent in where I hit. So, yeehaw. Plus, it was just a lot of fun.

After teeing around for awhile, we went back to BiL's sister's house and ordered food. I ate way too much, but it was the wonderfulness of Mexican food! Yeah. It was really good. I'm only slightly bummed because I hurt the back of my knee while hitting golf balls, and my head hurts, but all is well.

I'm kinda looking forward to heading back to the castle. I miss my room, my computer, and doing things I've not done before. I miss intelligent conversation and the promise of new friendships and becoming better friends with some of the people I've already met. And, I'm also anxious to get back because I thrive on routine. Before the routine is established, I have a tendency to get a bit nervous. But, once I'm into a routine, I'm totally cool with it, and can even roll with the punches. But, I just want to get into learning Greek and meeting people and what not. From what I've heard, Greek is a really great bonding time. I hope so. I would really love to make new friends and cultivate relationships that are akin to the friendships I made during CPE.

And, I'm also totally looking forward to my good friend Jacki's wedding in a few weeks! It seems so strange that my friends are getting married, but I'm SO happy for them! I could not see myself married at this point at all, but we're all different people.

Anyway, I hope your "Friday the 13th" wasn't too bad. It's weird the way certain days can remind you of things. From now on, Friday the 13th will remind me of the man who died at Restaurant last year. I'm not a superstitious person, because as I've said before, "Good and bad things happen everyday," but it's just one of those thorns in my side, I guess.

I'm off for some sleep that will hopefully rid me of this headache. Hasta.

hmm

Ok, not much is going on. But, I tend to feel guilty if I don't update every couple of days or so.

I think I might be getting sick again. My throat feels funny. Boo... At least I was well enough to go skydiving last week. That's the main thing. Oh, speaking of skydiving, I was out for my walk tonight, and I passed a vehicle with a skydiving bumper sticker. I laughed a little and then noticed someone was in the vehicle, with the windows down, so I stopped and had a brief conversation with her. She's not the skydiver; her husband is. Sis is going to scold me for "talking to strangers" again. I'm always talking to strangers and every night as I go out for my walk she says, "Don't talk to strangers." Ok Sis....

I've been watching the children during the day. Howard is starting to walk a little bit. He's almost 15 months old, so it's kind of late. But, hey, he's the firstborn so we'll give him some leeway. Also, today I was sitting on the floor with him and he came up to me, pulled himself up, climbed into my lap, and gave me a big hug! That is so sweet. Then, tonight, I was lying on the couch and he climbed up there and crawled up to my head and gave me a big kiss. I love that kid so much. I love Sunscreen like mad too, but he doesn't do anything except eat, sleep, poop, fart, pee, cry, and occasionally smile. He also wakes up at about 6:30 in the morning, so I'm NOT happy about that... But hey, what are you gonna do?

Um, not much else is happening. Summer Greek starts on the 23rd. I'm slightly nervous, but I think I'll be able to do fine. I picked up French in high school fairly well. Plus, one of my CPE mates said that if you know English well, Greek shouldn't be too bad. I'm an English fanatic, so maybe I'm in luck...

And, with that, I need to be going because Scrubs is going to be on soon. I got hooked on the show this past semester because the CPE house only had about 5 channels, and Scrubs was the only good thing on t.v. it seemed. So, now I watch it whenever I can. :) So, have a good day.

Recap

So today was a pretty good day. Sunscreen was baptized today! YS and I got to be sponsors again. When we were going up to the font, BiL handed the little guy to me and I got to hold him while Pastor seashelled the water onto his head. Some of the water got on my elbow and it was really cold, but Sunscreen didn't cry or anything. He got a face like he might and I whispered, "It's okay, little buddy." to him and he quieted down. I was a smiling fool. Baptisms make me happy.

After church, Sis, BiL, Ma, and I went to the nursing home to visit Grandma. She's doing really well for being 93 years old. She was in "church" when we got there, but they were finishing up. While she was waiting to be ushered out, she saw us waiting and she blew us kisses and waved. My grandma is so darn cute. She is kinda forgetful and she walks with a walker, but I think she's doing remarkably well for her age. I love her a lot.

After we were done visiting Granny, I took Ma home and tried to use OB's comp to upload my skydiving video. It didn't work. Macs confound me, but my computer, nor Sis's computer has DVD capabilities. Hopefully I get something worked out. I did, however, upload some of the stills to my MySpace and Facebook accounts if anyone wanted to look me up on there. I'm so excited to share the stuff that I can hardly contain myself.

Oh, and OB said that Ma rebounded well enough to not have to put her in a home yet. The neurologist said that if she acquired an acute infection, it could mimic a sudden, steep dropoff. So, she was probably sick last week or something. But, she's a little bit better, so that's good. I just hope OB realizes his boundaries before he burns out.

Oh, and for the last few weeks, I have been doing a short bike ride before my walk. I ride it up the street to the end of town and then ride it down the street. Because this town is built on a river, up the street is uphill and down the street is downhill. I get going really fast on the downhill and it's a blast. I just wish I didn't have stop signs because I'd be all about riding like a psycho. But, my bike doesn't have brakes, so I need to be extra careful.

And, Sis goes back to work tomorrow, so I start babysitting the children by myself. I'm worried that I'm going to be exhausted by the time July 22nd rolls around, but I hope that it will be good exhausted. And with that, I need to be going. Have a delightful day.

Technical Difficulties

So, I've been trying to upload my skydiving video to YouTube all day long, but to no avail. So, the question is, does anyone have the know how and time to explain it to me? I haven't been able to figure out all that I need to figure out on my brother's mac computer. So, while Macs are great, they are foreign to me. If all else fails, once I return to the Mothership, I'll at least post pics. Sorry for the delay. I WISH I COULD SHARE THIS STUFF, ALREADY!

Yeehaw, Woo, and other exclamations of excitement!

So, I went skydiving today and I lived! It was totally awesome. I posted about my first skydive back in August of 2006. This time though, I got the video and pictures. So, I'm willing to sacrifice my anonymity so you all can see it if you so desire. But, it's not uploaded onto the net yet, so be patient with me. :) Have a great day!

Tomorrow is the big day!

I'm kinda nervous. I was so excited for the day for the redemption of my second tandem, and now I'm nervous. I think it's because I'm going all alone and thus will have no one to prove anything to. Oh well. I am excited. I know that once I plop outta the plane I'll be laughing and wooing, but all the stuff before that is what has me nervous. I think I was like this the last time, too, though. :) Oh well.

This whole thing makes me think about how none of us is guaranteed even our next heartbeat or breath. So, why should I be worried about things that can kill the body but not kill the soul? Eh? Well, nonetheless, I love you guys! I even appreciate those of you who I don't know in real life. You're so supportive and thoughtful. But, I honestly believe all will be well, all shall be well, and all manner of all things shall be well. But, like I said, we have no guarantees. Human life is fragile. So, all my friends, family, CPE people, Pastor, and congregation! I wub ya! :) See you after I come down!

Hmm

I think I might have tonsilitis. :( No fun.

Hopefully, I'll feel better before Friday.

Why? Because I plan to FINALLY do my 2nd tandem skydive!

That, and my nephew's 4th birthday party is that day! Yeehaw.

I hope I get better soon!!!

Don't worry

I'm not all depressed or anything. To prove it, I'll tell you a short story.

I have been out walking lately. I like to do it for various reasons such as trying to be more intentional about fitness, trying to just squeeze in Trish time to think, and also because with all the things going on, one might have a tendency to slip into a depression, and I've heard that exercise can help ward that off. So, I've been walking most evenings for an hour or two.

On my walks, I stop and smell flowers. Just one of God's great gifts to us. Thanks (especially for the orange ones)!

Weather

So, Wednesday, obviously, was not a good day in the life and times of Trish. It all started when Oldest Brother (OB from here on out) called my cell at 6:11 a.m. to ask me if I could please come home (home home, not Sis and Bil's home) and stay with Ma. He said that she was getting really argumentative and combative and that she kept trying to "go home." Home to Ma is no longer her real home. She doesn't even know where she is. He also said that she put her coat on, grabbed her purse, and was about ready to leave. So, OB grabbed her and took her coat off of her because he'd been trying to reason with her for a good long while. But, since she take about 80 millions types of drugs, including blood thinners, she bruises like crazy. So, Ma got big bruises where OB took a hold of her to take her coat off. Let me get one thing straight here. OB is not abusing Ma. She will bruise if you hug her hard. I'm serious. But, he saw the bruises and freaked out, worrying that he had hurt her. So, he called me the next morning and asked me to come home so that I could sit with her because I "am good at calming her down." So, I rolled outta bed, put some clothes on, and went over. She was okay with me pretty much all morning, but around 3:00 or so, she started losing it. She kept asking me to take her home. She thought home was the next town over, though she's never lived in that town. She also says that that town is named the same thing our town is named, but it's different. And no matter how much I tried to tell her that she was home, she would not believe me. I had to walk with her a couple of blocks because she was walking "home." After OB got back, we had a conversation and he said he can't do this anymore. We decided it's time for Ma to enter a home, for good. Then, when I was getting ready to leave Ma's house to come back to Sis and BiL's house, I said goodbye to her through the bathroom door. She said, "Trisha, wait a minute!" and then came out and asked me if I'd be willing to take her home. She had calmed down a little bit prior to that, so I thought it'd be safe to tell her bye. But, I said, "Ma, you ARE home." She started crying and trying to guilt trip me into taking her home, but what could I do? I gave her a hug and said, "I love you." and she said in her mean/sarcastic/guilt trip voice, "Yeah, I'm sure you do." So, I had to leave then. She can't be reasoned with anymore. She's been like this for pretty much 4 or 5 days.

As much as I complain about OB and his sometimes very self-centered ways, I still love him. Even as much as his soon to be ex-wife can irritate the crap out of me, I still love him. And he's hurting about this. He feels like a failure because he's the oldest child and he can't keep her in the home. But you know what? He's done a great thing with taking care of her. He kept her in her own home for 3 1/2 extra months. And now, she doesn't know where home is, so it's definitely time. I told him all this too, because we respect him for what he did. We never EVER expected him to take care of her like he did, and I'm glad he's realized that he can't do it anymore. I'm also thankful that he doesn't seem to be blaming us for not helping more, or for the breakup of his marriage. His wife is moving to another state on Saturday. On Wednesday, she was over at the house, and she played nice with me. I tried to remember that grace is very important. In my CPE evaluation, Supa said, "Trish is a very grace-centered person." I lose sight of that sometimes, and I'm grateful that I had that in my mind when dealing with her this week. She even apologized for being so hateful the other day. I accepted her apology and I was rational and gracious (I think) the whole day toward her.

But, this whole situation is just so emotionally exhausting. I just feel too young to have to be dealing with my mother's quick cognitive decline. I'm just grateful that it seems we siblings have turned a corner and will be able to work together now. We've been talking to nursing homes and trying to figure out where would be a good place to have her live. The one she was in before is a definite no, and the one in another neighboring town is also a definite no, but there are several really good nursing homes around that specialize in dementia. I'm trying to keep this process kicked up because OB is at the end of his rope, and I want him to know relief. As selfish as it may sound, when I moved to Seminary, I was SO relieved to not have to be the caretaker anymore. So, I understand where OB is coming from, and I empathize.

Wednesday also brought tragedy. Howard's babysitter's son committed suicide in his parents' garage. The sitter and her husband came home and found him. The man was around 30 years old. I can't imagine what they must be feeling. I have seen people die; even people very close to me, but that was their son. And my loved ones didn't kill themselves. I'm just praying that the family is shown grace and love instead of being judged and talked about around town. These people are wonderful. The babysitter even came to the church I preached at last Sunday so she could hear what I had to say. She encouraged me and said I did a great job that day. And I have known her for months and have found her to be a wonderful person. I just feel so bad for her and her husband. If you remember, would you say a prayer for them? You may not know their names, but God does. I may be saying a prayer at his funeral service. Babysitter mentioned it to the family and to the minister, but they've not called me yet. I'd be willing to do whatever I can for them. It's their time of grief, and if they want me to speak a word of grace and peace to them, I just pray that God would give me the words.

This is just a tumultuous time. I know that everyone has problems; even big problems, but right now I just feel really bad. I know that God is with me, and I would never give up my faith because it is when I am with God that I know peace, but I just don't feel good about all this. The words of comfort and solace I find in hymns and Scripture are what I cling to in times like these. That is where I find God most clearly. May you also find peace in the promises of God through Christ today, and in all your struggles. Go in peace.

!!!!!

Alright already!

!!!!!

When is it enough?

*sings Happy Shining People Holding Hands*

Today was rough.

I led worship today

and this is the message that I preached. Oh, and the worship I led was not at "my" church, but at a neighboring church. Pastor let his pastoral friends/colleagues know that I was willing to do supply preaching, and I have had several biters. Today was my first time preaching away from my home church. It was exciting. So, I preached last Sunday at my church and Pastor's "other" church, this week at a neighboring church, and I'm doing next week at yet another church. Woohoo! Anyway, in an effort to become less of a wuss, I'm putting this out here. I'm also trying to remember grace. Just because there is drama and stress in my life, doesn't mean that I should lose sight of grace, both for myself and for other people. So, here's the message:

Church Message 23
June 24, 2007

God is good-all the time. This phrase is very true. Unfortunately, in the midst of all the things in our lives that can go wrong: untimely death, tragedies, divorce, illness, pain, etc, sometimes, we can forget that God is indeed good. This morning’s Gospel lesson features two people who many would see as people who had been slighted by God. After all, they were getting on in years and they had not had any children. Elizabeth was thought of to be unable to have children, and so she and her husband had pretty much given up on the idea of hearing the pitter-patter of little feet running around the house. As we heard at the beginning of today’s Gospel lesson, though, it became time for Elizabeth to give birth. This couple who had thought they would go to their graves without having children, was blessed in a special way. I wonder, if after finding that Elizabeth was pregnant, the neighbors had a good talk amongst themselves about what was going on. This child could have been considered to be long overdue, considering Zechariah and Elizabeth’s ages. What did the neighbors think about the whole situation? Did they think that God pitied the couple? Did they think some sin in their lives had finally been resolved, thus “allowing” God to bless them? Or did they just think, “Good for them!”? I wonder. But, instead of blaming God for their misfortune up until then, and instead of saying, “What’s changed?” Elizabeth and Zechariah rejoiced in the new baby. This couple didn’t seem to really care if the neighbors had been talking about them, but instead, they rejoiced. Thankfully, instead of seeing Zechariah and Elizabeth as weird, the neighbors joined with them in the celebration of the new life that was brought forth. How easy is it sometimes to forget the goodness that we have been given and instead focus on how we’re perceived by others? I imagine that Zechariah and Elizabeth’s enthusiasm for their brand new baby boy was contagious. They showed great gratitude, and the neighbors joined in. Perhaps it was contagious? Perhaps it was leading by example? The point is that the blessing of God in their lives was not overlooked because the couple didn’t downplay their excitement because of how they might be perceived. They saw their blessing, and they gave thanks.
And we come back to the neighbors. I can imagine that many of you are parents. A couple of my siblings have small children, and so I speak only from the experience of being a part of the lives of my nephews. When my brother had his son, and when my sister had her son, I remember how each of them got a lot of advice. Parents who had been there before were offering tips on what worked for them. A great deal of that advice was very helpful to them. However, it became somewhat of a balancing act as they tried to sort through the advice, and all the while try to figure out their own parenting styles in the midst of it. Sometimes that was a hard task because we don’t like to alienate those we trust and love. So, can you imagine how Elizabeth and Zechariah must have felt when the neighbors came to be a part of the circumcision and naming ritual? The neighbors, we are told, pushed for Zechariah to name his child after him. But, in an earlier part of Luke’s Gospel, an angel told Zechariah about his future son, and what that son should be named. But here, all these people came, EXPECTING Zechariah to name the baby after him. They came to give their advice and to offer their opinions. Elizabeth said no when they pushed for the name Zechariah, and then Zechariah said no by fulfilling the angel’s command when he went against the cultural norm and named his son John. This behavior might also have been seen as odd, but these two faithful people realized that they had God with them. They did what God said, and not what the neighbors said.
Thankfully, as these “bizarre” events unfolded, the example put forth by Elizabeth and Zechariah was enough to show the friends and neighbors that God indeed was among them. But, this “God among them” bit struck a bit of fear into their hearts. What would that mean for them? Would they have to look into their own lives to see what was happening if God was among them? If God was among them, did that mean that things would have to change? And the million dollar question that was widely talked about in the region was, “What will this child become?” That question was one that was not easily answered. Even into John’s adult life, people questioned who he was. Some thought he was Elijah, while others thought he was the Messiah. Some thought he was just a weird guy, and some didn’t think of him at all. But, the neighbors at John’s birth wondered, “What will he be?” A common question, I think, when a child is born. I imagine parents often wonder what their children will become. The same could have been true for these parents, considering the unusual circumstances under which John was conceived. An angel told of John’s birth, so what would that mean for the rest of his life? God was with this child, so what would that mean for him? What does it mean for the children of today? God is with the children born today, and especially at their baptism. It means that love will always be a part of their lives. Love is a part of all of our lives as baptized children of God. An angel may have told Zechariah that he would become a father, and that God was with them, but we can know that God is with us, too. This may seem weird to people who do not have faith in their hearts and lives, but we can go forth in our lives knowing the love of God in Christ.
In response to the knowledge of God’s presence in the life of his new baby, Zechariah’s mouth was opened as he spilled forth adoration and praise to the God who made it all possible. This praise was Zechariah’s way of saying thank you to God who came through on God’s promise. God is always faithful, and God is always merciful. God had shown mercy to Elizabeth when she became pregnant, and by making John a messenger and preparer of the way of Jesus. God showed mercy to THE WORLD by coming in Christ in order to grant us forgiveness. Things may start small, but when God is at work, they don’t have to stay small. This is true for our entire lives today. God changes the world with the seeds we sow. By doing even the “little” things for those we meet, such as a smile or a kind word, we can show the love and the mercy we have been so freely given. Perhaps these actions can be our own way of saying “Thank you” to God. When John was named in this morning’s lesson, Zechariah was claiming him as his own. Zechariah claimed this gift from God, and by doing so, I believe he was saying, “Thank you God. I receive and acknowledge that this gift is from You.” In a society where we “get what we earn,” how easy is it to remember that God gives abundantly what we can never earn: unconditional love and mercy? Do we risk being seen by the neighbors as naive people for our love? Do we risk being seen as Christians with all of the stereotypes that surround us? Do we RISK going forth as people who are called, gathered and sent, knowing that Christ calls us to lives of thanksgiving, prayer, and love? I can think of worse things to be known by.
So, the question is, do we go forth as people who have received grace; as people touched by God in our baptism to make Christ known to a broken and hurting world? Do we go forth with the knowledge that Christ is our king and deserves all praise and honor, and yet with the understanding that He seeks relationship with us, as people who are unworthy to untie the thong of his sandals through our own merit? The very same John from today’s Gospel lesson would grow up to become one who preached for people to repent from their sins. He knew he was not the one to forgive these sins, but he knew he had a place in God’s plan that required him to herald the coming Messiah. Christ came as that messiah. He came to offer forgiveness for those who turned from their sin and turned to Him. Jesus came to save us, not only FROM sin, but FOR lives of praise. May we take our words and deeds of love to our neighbors so that they too, may experience this grace. Amen.

5 Things I Dig About Jesus

Mark tagged me, and I am usually a good sport, so here goes...

Here are the rules:

Those tagged will share 5 Things They Dig About Jesus.
Those tagged will tag 5 people.
Those tagged will leave a link to their meme in the comments section of this post so everyone can keep track of what's being posted.

Five Things I Dig About Jesus

1. Jesus did things that were different, and that turned heads.

2. Jesus is relateable because He didn't hold Himself up to be this hugely lofty guy. Nope, Jesus was a worker, a friend, and a teacher, and I believe Jesus tried to do this in a way that He knew we could emulate.

3. Jesus didn't (doesn't) run when situations get hairy. Jesus sticks around for the whole show.

4. Jesus addressed issues of His own time, but that still are important today. My favorite quote of Jesus' is found in Matthew 6:34. It talks about worry.

5. Jesus loves me even when I don't. :) That's pretty cool.

I tag Jacki, Jae, Faith Love and Bandaids, Inheritor of Heaven, and I think everyone else I know has been tagged already! If not, consider yerself tagged.

Nature

Okay, so a while ago, I said I was going to write a post on how nature makes me feel. I've been lax, but here it is, as promised.

My dear good friend and I went to one of the state parks a few weeks ago. It's tradition for us to go hike for a while, and then go to Applebee's for margaritas and lunch or dinner. "Dan" picked me up about 7:00 a.m. the morning we went out, and we drove to the park. We figured out which trails we wanted to hike and we set out. It was a beautiful day. The sky was blue, there was just enough of a breeze, and we were the only ones there when we first arrived. While we were walking, we got to be the ones to break down the spiderwebs the arachnids had sewn during the night across the paths. We took the canyon trails mostly this day, instead of the bluff trails, and we got to see some waterfalls. Granted, they weren't large waterfalls, due to the fact that it hasn't been really wet around here, but they were waterfalls, nonetheless, and beautiful even in their fragility. Dan and I traversed through some shallow pools of water and walked through the falls to get to the other side where we could get a better view. The water was cold because the ground wasn't yet warmed completely from the winter.

Dan and I see so much beauty when we go there. We also have some good conversation and catch up on each others' lives. He even asks me about this ministry stuff that I'm getting into, which means a lot to me because he is unchurched. We talk about our dreams and aspirations, what we've been about and how that has changed us. It's like the simplicity of the woods takes away any and all pretenses we have in conversation with each other. But, Dan and I have been friends for several years, and so maybe the woods have nothing to do with it. The fact is that we connect with each other, and we connect with Creation. I connect in thanksgiving for what we've been privileged to share in, and he connects in his own way, which I will not speculate on, considering it is not my place.

Being out there, walking through forests and canyons, looking out from bluffs onto the river, and seeing everything makes me so amazingly grateful for life. I'm so glad for the pause I experience when I'm there. I don't live in a big city, but my town is still quite different from being separated by forest and river. Walking through the crisp morning air, breathing in the freshness of it all, and feeling the water and leaves all remind me that God is here among us. God created this, and this park has been home to many different people through the years. It reminds me of Communion. During the Supper, we are connected by Christ's body and blood. While sharing in the wonder of nature, we are sharing in God's goodness through the gift of respite and relaxation. Genesis 1:31-God saw everything that he had made, and indeed, it was very good. And there was evening and there was morning, the sixth day. Thanks be to God for all the ways we are connected, and may we always remember our bonds.

Racking my brain...

Wee. Mark tagged me for a meme, and because I'm disgusting from some exercise I just did, I figured I'd stink it up here in the dining room and do it! Here is the 8 random facts theme!

1. Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
2. People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
3.At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
4. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

My Random 8 Facts!

1. I was the "short kid" in school until I was probably 17 years old. I was SO short that I had to sit on two Christmas Edition JC Penney catalogs when I was learning how to drive. Thankfully, I was down to one when I got my license, and soon thereafter, graduated to none! Thanks to the wonder of modern medicine, I grew 16 inches in 4 years.

2. At one point in my life, I wanted to become a doctor. To be specific, I wanted to be an endocrinologist (one who specializes in the diagnosis and treatment of glandular disorders). However, my contempt for math and science led me away from that field.

3. When I was in junior high school, and even a little into high school, friends used to come to me for medical advice because of the previous fact. I correctly "diagnosed" a few medical maladies. I think I could do this because when I was sick from school, I oftentimes would read the medical encyclopedias we had in the foyer of our house. I was a complete dork. (and still am).

4. I hate being told what to do when I'm not asking for advice. I can get somewhat spiteful, which is one of my major flaws, when I believe people are stepping on me. I'm trying to stop this behavior because most of the time, people are just looking out for me.

5. I like working with my hands and getting dirty and sweaty. It's gross, I know, but something is contented within me when I have fixed something, or made something look nice. I will even take risks if I think I have a way out if my plan doesn't work. One example is my plumbing project when I installed the new kitchen faucet at my house a few years ago. I was thrilled when it worked. I also like weedwacking abandoned yards and I find it quite therapeutic.

6. I have never been on a plane to go somewhere (except in the air in order to jump out). When I tell people that I jumped out of the first airplane I was ever in, most people balk some. I laugh. But, one of these days, I'll take a trip requiring a flight.

7. I have an extremely bizarre laugh that makes other people start laughing with me. To go along with this laugh is a bizarre sense of humor. I laugh at weird stuff all the time, and I don't care. Even when I was a kid, I used to have "laugh attacks" and my "special" (I was smart) class had to take time out so I could compose myself. It's cool though.

8. The person I am today is not a thing like I was 6 years ago, and that's totally okay by me. I am glad for the change, even the trying times that have shaped me. Growth and change is a remarkable thing, especially when we can see it in our own lives.

So,I am going to tag Deb, Inheritor, Faith Love & Bandaids, and I need to get more blogging friends! Haha. If you read this and feel inclined to play along, just let me know, and I'll totally be all about reading your post.

Catharsis, or TMI?

Ok, so there is some family drama going on here. My oldest brother's wife keeps saying that she's leaving. She "can't handle" taking care of my mother. She says, "I'm doing this all alone. I need to move" blah blah blah. "Those girls asked me to take care of their mom, and they don't help me at all." Yak yak yak..

Well, let me say one damn thing. Where has she been for the past 3 1/2 years when it was fricking ME doing it all alone? When I saw my other brother and his wife FAR MORE than I saw my oldest brother and his wife. Oldest brother lives 6 blocks away and other brother lives 2 1/2 hours away. Mmmhmm. I guess the part that really irks my bubbles is that she's playing this huge martyr role like "boohoo, no one helps me." Guess what? I already played that game and I didn't moan and groan about it! And I'm STILL doing what I can to help, but I think I've earned a bit of a break. Sorry for valuing my mental health.

And I guess I'm also annoyed and angered that she is just so stupid to us about this. She called me the other day to ask me if I could come over and watch my mom. She called about 15 minutes before she wanted to leave. I couldn't get out of Sis' house, because I was helping her with Howard. (This was when she wasn't able to lift, yet). And I said, "Sorry, I can't come right now. If you want, I can make it in a few hours." And she said, "No." and then hung up on me. I called back to talk to my brother and she answered and was nasty to me. I've never treated her with anything but support and kindness, and I am just not appreciative at all that she's being so mean about it all. It's not our fault that her marriage is breaking up. We NEVER asked her to take care of our mother.

She's just so bitter and martyr-ish and it just drives me nuts. Ma's mental decline is tough for all of us, and she has NOT been doing all this stuff by herself. She's bitter, and I wasn't bitter, but now it's starting to creep in. So, hopefully, this isn't too much information, but I am just so angry.

I don't know if I should calm down some and calmly go talk to her, or if I should just let it slide since "she's leaving" in about two weeks. She's not a very rational person. Other brother's wife says she isn't "evolved" enough to have an adult conversation. Who knows? All I know is that the drama she brings is not appreciated or needed.

It's ALIVE!!

Ok, so I've been kinda flaky on the updating thing for a little while. My bad. I've been busy-blah blah blah. I'm really tired right now, but I went to a wedding this weekend and I'll tell you all about it, because I'm sure you're just dying to know! :) haha.

Oh, and it looks like I'll be skydiving "alone" (meaning w/o my pals) sometime very soon. I'm cool with it though. I'll just be able to pick up and go whenever I want.

Oh, and leading worship... I'll have to tell you of some possibilities. Exciting.

Sleep!!!

Nicknames

To satisfy my good friend's curiosity, this is a blog post about nicknames.

Because I'm cool with letting my vast audience know that my name is Trish, I think it would be fair to let you also know that I'm not down with putting out the names of my three precious nephews. Mainly it's just friends and other church-type folk who visit this page, but alas, this is the Internet. So, I make up nicknames for my little people.

Sis's firstborn son's nickname is Howard because when she was pregnant with him, I laughed because she had one boy name and one girl name picked out. I said, what if it's triplets? You'll give birth and only have the first two named, and you'll be too drugged up to think of a name for number three, so you'll just name him the first thing that comes to mind, which will probably be Howard or something. So, while none of us call him Howard anymore (it was pretty much an in-utero thing), I still call him Howard when I'm blogging. Howard has real nicknames that we call him in person.

Sis's second son is nicknamed many things; I'm just waiting to see if I like "Sunscreen" enough to keep it. I've been calling him Sunscreen because his initials are SPF. So, Sunscreen is one of the nicknames I've come up with. Other potentials include:

Mellow Yellow or Mel for short (He's a mellow kid. He'll wake up and just look around instead of cry).

Squeaker (When he does cry, it comes out in little squeaks)

Speedbump (Howard is rambunctious, so BiL's sister's boyfriend says all he'll really be for a while is a speedbump for Howard to make sweet jumps off of)(P.S. Bonus points if you can name that movie).

Red (He has a hint of red in his hair, and it comes out more when he's wearing red).

So, those are the potential nicknames for now. Maybe one will stick; maybe none will. We'll just have to see. Any thoughts?

Laughter is good for the soul

Yesterday, while I was holding Sunscreen, he laughed.

Only I got to witness it.

It made me laugh.

I am the one person who heard both Howard and Sunscreen's first laughs.

Being an aunt is great.

You should have seen the look on your face!

This morning I didn't go to worship at my normal place of worship. One of my CPE colleagues was being installed as a children and family minister at a church about an hour and a half away. Supa told me about it the other day when he called. I'm SO glad I went. My friend was being installed at both services, and so I went to the later one. I got there and stood around reading all the stuff hanging on the walls and stuff. A few people introduced themselves to me, and I felt welcomed. Someone asked me where I was from and if I was going to start going there for good when I said no because I live far far away. I also told her I was there to see my friend get installed. She then took me down to the fellowship hall where the church was having a "welcome to CPEFriend/happy birthday to the Christian Church" party (considering today was Pentecost Sunday). I went down there and found my friend, but she was talking to a bunch of other people, so I just waited about 4 feet to her side. She was talking to some people and wrapping things up with them when she looked my way. I thought she saw me, but she didn't. Then, another minute later, she looked my way again and her face totally lit up and she let out a very excited yell and gave me a big hug! It was totally worth making the drive just to see that reaction from her. We talked for a minute, and then I said I'd see her after a bit because I was going to go sit down for worship.

I went up to the sanctuary and got a bulletin and was reading through it when I looked up and saw Supa enter the sanctuary. He saw me and got a grin on his face and came over to sit by me. I talked to him for a minute, but he said he was going to go see if he could catch my CPE colleague before worship. He came back after a few minutes and we saw CPEMate come in, too. Worship started not long after that.

Since today was Pentecost Sunday, the pastors had a more interactive service set out. It was really cool because the church had these paper flames strung up by fishing wire above the pews. The kids came up during one of the readings and they made the sound of wind, and we all raised our bulletins and made the flames move by the air movement. Then, when the lesson started talking about how the people were speaking in tongues, different people within the congregation started speaking different languages. One person was even doing American Sign Language. It was totally awesome! They were all doing it at the same time and it was just a really neat way to emphasize the point. During the sermon, the pastor who was preaching asked us to think of something that we feel passionate about in our life, but not personal things like gardening for ourselves or something. Then she said, "Now, turn to someone near you and tell them." Supa and I turned to each other and I said, "I like to make people feel important/valued/loved for the "uninmportant" things, and through doing the simple things. Kind of like the song, "Little is much" when they say, "He changes the world with the seeds we sow." Supa also told me his, which did not surprise me at all. He's a very wonderful person and his passion is evident in the way he lives out his ministry. I really liked the service and everything. And seeing my friend being installed there filled my heart because the church is VERY fortunate to get her, and I know that she will feel blessed by being able to do ministry there. I pray all God's deepest blessings on her. She's great.

After worship, I saw a seminary friend there. It turns out that one of the pastors is her dad! Ha. Small world. I could only talk to my seminary friend for a minute though, because my friend was showing us her office, which is totally sweet. I just can't get over how happy I am for her. YAY!

And here I am, at the end of the day, just totally glad and filled with love and fondness for people who I've only known a short time. And I realize that in my friend's surprise at seeing me there, that I got to do a bit of my passion. She was surprised I made it to the installation because the church she serves is so far away from home for me. But, I wanted to go and show my love and support for her. Just to see her face and receive her warm hug when she turned and finally actually saw me was more than enough reward. I hope she realizes that I'm truly grateful for the person she is, and that I have every confidence in her abilities as a called child of God.

Plans!!

So, Supa called me today to ask me a few questions while he was filling out his review of me for the seminary. We had a short talk, and I found out that one of my CPE mates is going to be installed Sunday at her position as a child and family minister. I think I'm going to make the drive and go. I really like this person, and I think it's great that she's found a place that suits her, and where she can use her gifts. I'm excited!

I'm also thoroughly enjoying my new nephew. He's so darn cute. Howard looks a lot like his daddy, but Sunscreen looks a lot like us. I noticed the first time I ever saw him that he looks a lot like my dad looked, and how my Aunt Joyce looked. It's cute. He's such a pudgy baby! :) Howard crawled over to the cradle today and stood up and was talking to Sunscreen. He wasn't saying real words, because he only knows a couple, but he was doing his little jibber-jabber thing. It was so adorable. I hope that those two become really close brothers. I would love that; probably because my sisters and I are all so close.

Anyway, I'm helping Sis take care of Howard and Sunscreen because she had a C-section and isn't able to lift anything heavier than the baby, and because she's still sore. So, I'm being dutiful Aunt T. I am so blessed!

Yay!

I'm an aunt again! Speedbump was born at 10:14 this morning, weighing in at a hefty 8 pounds, 14 ounces. He measures 19 inches tall, and he has some strawberry blondish hair. I got to hold him a bunch today, and as per usual, I got all teary eyed over him. I've mentioned many times before that I'm not an emotional type person, but babies do it for me. He's so cute! I was holding him and looking at him while his daddy slept on the chair, and his mama tried to take a nap. After about half an hour, Sis said, "You have the same smile on your face now that you had on the last time I peeked at you." I just can't help it. I love the kid. I love all three of my nephews. They're special children. I said many thanks to God for the wonderful gift of life that is shown when babies are born, and I gave many thanks for allowing me to be a small part of that wonder. Again, I say, "Thanks be to GOD!!!"

Church Message 20

Today, I got to lead worship. I preached my 20th message. I think it was received well. I got compliments on it. I went a little too fast today, though. Anyway, other than that, I'm just waiting for time to pass. Sis and BiL are going to the hospital tomorrow so Sis can be induced. I will have a new nephew either tomorrow or the next day. I'm pretty excited.

Oh, this morning, Sis, BiL, Howard, YS and Ma were in church. Howard was laughing when I got up and started the service this morning. It was cute. Then, when everyone was filing past me and shaking hands, my family came out and BiL was holding Howard. BiL shook my hand and he said to Howard, "Do you have a kiss for Aunt T?" And he leaned over and gave me a big kiss. You know, not a real smooch, because babies don't kiss like that. But, it was what he does as a kiss. And then, after I was done shaking hands, I got all my stuff gathered to go to the other church. Before I left, I said goodbye to my family and Howard leaned over and grabbed onto me and gave me a huge hug. He's such a cute kid. I love him so darn much I could puke. :) Well, that's enough gushing for now. I hope you all enjoy the rest of your weekends, and have a marvelous week.

Neurology.

Well... Today, I took Ma to her neurology appointment. It turns out that they don't think she has Alzheimer's. The doctor called it a degenerative brain process, or dementia without further differentiation. She's got hardening of the arteries in her brain, which is closing off blood vessels, thus acting somewhat like strokes. Pretty much, there still isn't much they can do for her. The diagnosis could change. I like her "new" neurologist a lot better than the old one. One time with the old one, I was asking questions and the doctor got up and practically ran down the hall to get away from me. She basically dismissed us. Today, the doctor sat with us, answered me, and even gave personal examples from his own family. It was heartening.

In other news, I'm going to a state park here in Illinois so one of my friends and I can go hiking! I'm excited. I LOVE hiking at the park where we go! It's kind of like tradition for us. We've walked almost every trail at the bigger state park because that's where we go. It's so much fun. We're going on Friday. Yeehaw. And, I'm totally wanting to go skydiving! I can't wait. I dug out my log book that I need to take with me next time I go up there so I can redeem my 2nd jump that I bought last year. I'm SO excited!

And, finally, I got my car fixed to the tune of way more money than I'd hoped to spend. Yikes. But, it's nice to know that when I go to start the car, it will start, and the wheel no longer vibrates when I'm applying the brakes. So, yay for a fully functional car. I just need this sucker to last me for four more years at the very least!!! :) Anyway, that's about it for now. Have a nice day, and hopefully you all find your comfort and rest.

Remind me to blog about how nature makes me feel.

No cohesiveness to this post.

Hello. This post is just going to be things that I've been doing, and things about which I've been thinking. There will be no cohesiveness between the items.

I'm done with my first semester at Seminary. I have no idea what kind of grade I got in history. Hopefully an A or B. I was talking with my advisor earlier this month and she suggested I do "Credit/No Credit" for my classes because there is less pressure that way. I'm usually driven by the grade thing, but I think C/NC could be a nice change, if only for one semester. We'll just have to see how I like it when I use that option next semester.

I'm keeping my room over the summer, but I came "home." And by "home," I mean Sis and BiL's house because I don't want to stay at my own home. Sis is going in to have baby #2 on Monday. I'm very excited. I love babies. I'd sincerely appreciate your prayers to keep her and the little one safe.

Mom isn't doing any better, really. She keeps asking us where Dad is. Dad's been dead for almost 12 years, and I hate to tell her each time about where he is. The look that briefly crosses her face is awful. Dementia sucks.

I've been jonesing to go skydiving again. I have until August 14th, but I plan to go before then because Summer Greek starts July 23. I also want to go before July, because I'll be babysitting Sis's rugrats that month. One of my friends told me she'd go with me, but she got a job, so I'm hoping she's still down with it. I hope to have my next jump videotaped, and if I do, I might try to put it on YouTube. It depends.

Sis and BiL got a new computer (thank the Lord; the old one was awful) and so I've been helping them put things like Adobe and MSN messenger on this one. I really miss my cable Internet connection that I have at Seminary. Dial up is the pits!

My car keeps having problems with it. I had to have the outside passenger tie rod replaced a few weeks ago, the solenoid went bad about a week after the tie rod, and there is something wrong with the brakes. The mechanic (a trustworthy, less expensive guy) replaced the tie rod. BiL whacked the solenoid really good and made it start working again (although that is a short-term fix), and the mechanic is now in possession of my vehicle in order to fix its maladies. I'm bummed.

Life Cereal with Chocolate Oat Clusters is very good.

I'm leading worship at my church and I'm preaching at Pastor's "other" church this Sunday. He's going on a continuing ed trip. I'm excited.

Anyway, that is my life in short paragraphs right now. You all have a nice day, and enjoy the weather.

A *simple* request.

I was wondering if all my fabulous, wonderful, and supportive friends could come live with me in my dorm room? I'd like that a lot! :)

Anyway, my previous post was me being angry with myself because a neighbor/older friend died before I had the chance to go see her. I have realized that I all too often take people for granted. I didn't say hi to Dick the last time I saw him because I thought I'd get to see him again, I didn't make the special trip to see Karen because I thought there would be more time, and so forth and so on. I really need to realize that, as Chris Rice puts it, "I have no guarantee of my next heartbeat." So, as I learn to not put off tomorrow what I can do today, I also challenge you all to say something important to someone you may feel like you've taken for granted lately.

Jacki-thank you for your seemingly endless Internet hugs when I need them! You're the bomb, girlfriend. And I'll say that to yer face, Randy!

!@#$

I really flipping need to stop taking things for fricking granted.

I wasn't expecting to feel like this.

I miss my CPE group a lot more than I thought I was going to. I knew I was going to miss them some because we all became pretty close during our time together. But I really miss them a lot, and we've only been done with CPE for less than a week.

They all mean so much to me. They were good listeners, they cared a lot and asked how I was doing, they opened up to me, they didn't dismiss my ideas or thoughts for any reason, and they never treated me like I was stupid, dispensable, or immature. Sure, they have their faults, but don't we all? They're just a great group of people. Also, my gifts were appreciated within that circle, and that meant a lot to me. I think that I value my time so much with them because we were so incredibly honest from the get-go, and that's not something I'm really used to. Usually, it takes me a while to open up to new people, but they provided me a safe place to talk. While I wasn't as verbose as some of the other ones in my group, I still feel like I got enough talk time in when I needed it. I'm very grateful for the time I did get to spend with them. I just wish CPE wasn't over. :(

All good things must come to an end, but I sincerely hope that we keep in touch over the years. I also hope that when "my" class comes to Seminary for summer Greek, that I'm able to bond with them well. I need some friends. The people I've met here so far have been nice, but they already have their "groups" formed, or so it seems, sometimes. And before this comes into a boohoo pity party, I'm going to go. Bye.

A few more things about CPE

Now that I've gotten the majority of my sorting done, I was looking through my notes and found a few things I'd like to share. These are some of the things I've learned.

1. When I run from pain, I become irrelevant-in regards to the pain of people in the congregation.

2. "Oh the agony of heart until someone finds us out." This is a quote from one of Robert Frost's poems. Supa is fond of quoting Frost, and I really liked this line. It is something to think about.

3. It's okay to have anger. But we might want to make it anger with love and forgiveness (ALF).

4. Change=Grief. All things come to an end in some way or another. Grief is cumulative because new grief taps into old grief.

5. It is okay to be wrong and vulnerable.

6. You are loved, and They are loved.

7. God likes a tree for its tree-ness. God likes me for my me-ness! Go Cursive!
-Supa shared this with me one day during group via a note scribbled on yellow notebook paper. I said near the beginning that I didn't want to be block print, I wanted to be cursive! (In regards to making the ministry I offer be specked with pieces of me).

This is not ALL of what I learned, but a few bulleted "biggies." I got a lot from them. I hope you are able to think about them as well.

Cleaning, cleaning, and more cleaning.

My room is a little more cluttered than I would like it to be, and thus, I am organizing and cleaning it. The largest source of my angst regarding the state of my room are the large stacks of paper that have to deal with CPE stuff. Because CPE is over, I have decided to file all my CPE stuff. As I have sorted the papers, I came across the notes from one of the didactics (lectures, really, that pertain to a specific topic) and have decided to share a brief outline of what that didactic mentioned.

The Five Things We Cannot Change:
1. Everything changes and ends.
2. Things do not always go according to plan.
3. Life is not always fair.
4. Pain is a part of life.
5. People are not loving and loyal all the time.

The "Yes" Responses when confronted with these things:
1. Grieve and let go.
2. Acceptance.
3. We win, we lose, we work for justice.
4. Allow pain that is natural.
5. Speak up and say, "ouch."

I really got a lot out of that didactic, and although this post doesn't even prepare to do it justice, I thought it might trigger some extra thought. Plus, I want to remember these for a while. See ya.

Sunflower Seeds!

I don't know if I've mentioned it before or not, but I have a deep and abiding love for sunflower seeds. That's all I really wanted to say. Later.


Ok, just kidding. Well, today, I'm on campus for my first Friday of the semester. Since CPE is over, I have more time here. So, instead of doing anything productive, I'm listening to songs you can wear pants to, on this, "No pants day." Yup. And I'm procrastinating with the writing of an annotated bibliography and a sermon. I will get it done soon and very soon. Why? Because DINOSAURS ARE SWEET!

It really IS the Mothership!

Yesterday, my CPE group and I had our offical "final" day. We had exit interviews conducted by some of the people on the committee for CPE for my hospital. Then, my group led closing worship in the chapel. All the staff chaplains came, as well as the mother of one of my CPE mates, and the husband of another. It was really nice. Then, we went for lunch at Biaggi's, courtesy of the Spiritual Care department. It was cool. I'd never been to Biaggi's before because BiL says, "I'm not payin' 10 bucks for a plate of spaghetti!" Haha. It was good, but the Italian restaurants in the next town over from my own are just as good, in my opinion. Anyway, the day was really great, although I'm sad that this experience is coming to an end. I say coming to an end because I'm on call tonight because I'm covering for one of my CPE mates who couldn't be here tonight. This is the absolute last day for this unit of CPE. I'm really going to miss everyone. But, I digress.

The day was good, except for the fact that I had a MONSTROUS headache for almost the whole entire day. When I got back to the seminary, I put a cold washcloth over my eyes and my forehead, and I laid down in my bed. I accidentally fell asleep (at 4:30) in the afternoon. I woke up at about 10:00 and figured I had better put my PJs on so I could be more comfortable and less hot. So, I put my jammies on and put the cold washcloth back on my head/eyes. My pajamas during the warm months are my Spongebob shorts and a tshirt. Not 10 minutes later, this ear-piercing sound started going off. I thought, "Is that the fire alarm?" So, I realized I couldn't go outside as I was with my Spongebob short-shorts, so I grabbed some jeans from the dirty pile in the laundry basket under my bed and pulled them on. I also put a jacket on and grabbed my keys and walked out my door. I followed some of my neighbors outside and we stood on the sidewalk. I thought it was a drill, but they said it was not a drill. The R.A. was walking around and my friend, "Michelle," whom I talked about before was walking around, I think making sure everyone was out. I could see her when I was looking up into the windows.

As I looked into the windows, I saw that there was a flashing light going around. It was travelling very fast and it was going throughout the halls and stuff. I thought those lights made the seminary look like a spaceship! I laughed because people call the seminary, "The Mothership." Ha. It really did look like the stereotypical spaceship though, what with all the lights flashing and all. So, the firetrucks came and they checked the place out and turned the alarm off when they found out what happened. One of my neighbors accidentally started burning some stuff in his microwave, causing it to smoke. I hope the guy doesn't feel too embarrassed. I actually had fun out there. I laughed especially hard when someone went in to loan a fan to the man in order to air his room out. When she came back out, she fake coughed this horrid "Hech, hech" type sound. It cracked me up.

Anyway, so after the firemen got everything under control, we all went back inside and I went back to bed until about 8:00 this morning. Man, was I tired! I'm such a lazy bum. But now, I'm sitting here at the CPE house, wondering if I'm going to get any more calls tonight. Who knows? As one of the staff chaplains at the other campus says, "May your night be what it needs to be." Later.

I'm such a time-waster.

If time were a tangible commodity, I would be on every watchdog group list in the nation... NO! THE WORLD! Thanks to a seminary friend's website, I have just spent about the last 3 hours listening to songs that a guy makes up for people. His website is here. This also made me remember another fun song that is available for download. Now, all this time wasting has made me hungry. Time to go downstairs now. Have a good day.

Accident Free for 3 days.

Well, my side finally quit hurting! It's been 3 days, I think. I'm excited. I'm not going to die after all! WEEE! Anyway, I'm here at the CPE house. I'm on call tonight, as I have been 99.9 percent of Thursday nights for the last 3 1/2 months. This is my last Thursday on-call. I am covering the absolute last on call night for this unit next Wednesday. One of my CPE mates asked if I could cover for her, and I said I would gladly oblige. I'm going to miss this place, this experience, and most of all, the people. We've really bonded, I think. We're available to each other, honest, and encouraging. I'm going to miss it.

I hope that when the next class comes in for summer Greek, that I will be able to bond with some of them considering that they will be my actual class, I think. I have met some absolutely wonderful people at the castle, but they're all ahead of me. I won't be that far ahead of those coming in this summer. So, I hope...

And with that, I need to go downstairs and have some wonderful granola goodness. Have a blessed evening.

Still Waiting...

to start puking, that is. My side still hurts, in an off and on manner. Thought I was going to start tossing my cookies last night, but I didn't. It's weird though, my symptoms aren't exactly like classic appendicitis symptoms, so I don't want to go to the E.R. and have them tell me it's gas or something. But it's been one full week of off again, on again side pain. I was at the hospital where I do my CPE on Saturday night because I volunteered to be the person who did 3 on call Saturdays instead of 2, (or 2 1/2) and I was in the trauma bay with someone when it started hurting so bad I had to step out and sit down for a while. The patient was unconscious, and the family wasn't there yet, and the doctors were doing a procedure on the person, but I still hated to leave her. But, the pain became tolerable, and I was able to get back into action. So, I'm unsure about what to do. I'm sure you all are sick of hearing about my inaction on this matter, but hey... It's my blog and I'll blather if I want to. Ok.

In other news, Saturday was a busy day: 2 MI alerts, (heart patients) two traumas, and one SICU patient/family. They were all incredibly different from each other. I was glad that I was hanging out at the hospital instead of the CPE house because I only got paged once through the pager. Since I was in the hospital, I heard the codes overhead and was able to respond. The people were grateful (or so they said). This coming Friday is my last day on the actual floor, although I'm covering the on call night for one of my CPE mates next Wednesday because her mom is here from South America, and is flying back home that day. I can't believe it's coming to an end. Wow.

And that is that. Mom has been out of the hospital and out of the nursing home for a while now. My oldest brother and his wife have decided to take care of her at home in order to stave off nursing home care for as long as possible. Ma gets really depressed when she's kept from home for an extended period of time, although sometimes when she is home, she doesn't realize it... Who knows. I'm tired. See ya.

Six weird things about me...

Hmm, just for fun, I thought I'd consider myself tagged by RuthRe. I don't know if these are truly weird things, but whatever...

1. I wore the same hooded, black, zip-up sweatshirt almost EVERY SINGLE DAY of my undergraduate career. It was my security blanket, really. I still have it and wear it quite frequently, although not everyday. BTW, I DID wash it regularly.

2. I find immense joy in learning new words, and really, in the English language, on the whole. I regularly throw out new words while I am engaged in persiflage, and find it quite amusing. (Although, I try to do it in situations where the humor will be seen by those with whom I am conversing, so they don't feel dumb. I mean really... I don't think many people are dumb at all. I just like using big words.) One of my favorite sentences in the whole world is: Never use a big word when a diminutive one will suffice. The other favorite sentence? The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog. Why, you may ask? Because it contains every letter in the Engligh alphabet.

3. I was about a foot shorter than the "regular" kids in my class in grade/middle school. I was the short kid who got made fun of by the older kids, and was defended fiercely by most of the kids in my own class. Now, I'm the happiest person you'll ever meet to be perfectly average. Modern medicine is wonderful.

4. I was semi-famous for a couple of years because I was the "Now You Know Girl" in my high school media class. Those of us who took media had to put on a newscast to be broadcast on Fridays throughout the school. Weird facts were my thing back then. So, I bought these prop nerd glasses and came up with humorous places to stand while my camerawoman would tape me. She'd turn on the camera and I'd say, "This week's bizarre fact: Did You Know that.... Blah blah blah... NOW YOU KNOW!" And while saying "Now you know," I would contort my face. People were coming up to me on the streets and at Restaurant for YEARS after I graduated. They would say, "Aren't you the 'Now You Know Girl?" And I would say, "Yes, yes I am." And they would ask me to do one for them. Hehe. I miss those days...

5. My oldest brother is twenty-two years older than I am, and I didn't meet him until I was five. I still remember the day because he brought his fiancee home and they brought donuts. If they'd not brought donuts... I probably wouldn't remember the day.

6. I won my school's spelling bee three times, and thus went forth to the county spelling bee. I always got out fairly soon, but it was because I was nervous. One time I was a little bit mad though, because this guy started over and changed his spelling (which you are NOT allowed to do), and he spelled it right the second time. But, when it was my turn, I did the exact same thing and got dinged out. But, hey.. What can ya do? It's not like I'm going to turn into Steve Buschemi's character on Billy Madison or anything. :) Hehe. So, these things aren't THAT weird, but I don't care. See ya.

WebMd is not to be substituted for medical advice.

Alright, so here I sit, unsure as to whether or not I have appendicitis. My lower right tummy has been hurting for two days, and I'm starting to feel a little bit pukey. However, my sinuses are also draining, and that could be contributing to this nausea. That, and I didn't eat a good dinner because I'm too tired to go downstairs and cook something. The pain is less severe today than it was yesterday, leading me to think it's not appendicitis. I was talking to one of the staff chaplains at the hospital today about appendicitis and he was telling me how it felt when he had it. I'm not quite feeling like that, so I think I'm okay. Heck, this pain/nausea could be stress related or due to the fact that I've spent 10 hours in the car in the last 2 days. Who knows? If I start feeling worse, I'll be making a trip to my friendly neighborhood hospital, despite the fact I have no insurance. So, here's hoping (and fervently praying) that it's not appendicitis.

I'm feeling very sad.

I just received news that the man my mom used to date died this evening. They went out for a couple of years, and I really came to love this guy. I posted a good long while back, asking if people ever see other people as parental type figures. Dick was the first and only guy my mom saw after my dad died, and I came to see Dick as a fatherly figure. He was a lot like my own dad, and he was just special to me. I was sad when he and my mom stopped going out, but that didn't make me lose any respect for him. He was still very vibrant, and I think he could see Mom sliding downhill. I'm sure it was hard for him to see her start sliding, and it would have been unfair of us to expect him to stay with her as she continued her cognitive decline. I tried to speak to him every time I saw him, just to reinforce that I still cared for him. I saw him in his car on Sunday, and now I only wish I would have stopped him and said, "Hi." I really loved Dick. I can't believe how sad I am about this.

I guess I'm not that damaged, after all. Because I sobbed when I heard.

Thanks be to God for Dick's life, and for all he was to those around him. He'll be missed.

To and Fro

Well, I came back to Seminary last night after a weekend of being home, yet again. I have been home every weekend for about a month now. To tell you the truth, I'd rather stay here. Granted, I love being at my home church, and being with my family, and being able to see my nephews, and sleep in my own bed, but the back and forth is not helping me settle in. But, I feel like I need to be home because of Ma's surgery and subsequent illness. And now, I'm going home again after CPE tomorrow night because it's Holy Week and things close down up here and all that jazz. And then, April 18 is Howard's 1st birthday. I want to be there to celebrate that with the family, too. But then, I hope to stay here until the semester ends, which is May 11th. I'm leading worship and preaching on the 20th of May, so I'm looking forward to that. I helped lead worship yesterday, which was fun. As I was shaking hands with people as they left, our congregations oldest active member shook my hand and said, "You did a nice job. Oh, but what's that on your sleeve? Ha-April Fool's!" I giggled a little then, but it's crackin' me up now. I don't know... Maybe you had to be there.

Anyway, Ma is still in the hospital. They're trying to find out from where she is bleeding. She received two bags of blood on either Friday or Saturday. She's not sleeping well because when she's out of her element she doesn't. So, she's getting more and more confused again. She had been getting better while she was at the nursing home, but with all that's happening with being hospitalized, having more anesthesia for some minor procedures, and not sleeping, she's sliding back downhill. So, hopefully she'll be able to get out of the hospital soon so she can start getting with it again. Anyway, I hope you all are doing well, and that you're enjoying the promise of spring out there. I can hear the birds chirping right outside my windows. When I look out the window, I'm always surprised to see how green the grass is. Spring is a good time of year.

Oh, and after today, I probably won't be back online until next Tuesday. Sis and Bil's computer desk was moved and it's not by a phone line, and my computer will stay here. So, if you come lookin' for posts, don't think I've fallen off the face of the Earth. Hopefully BiL will use his mad skills and hook up a phone line so they can get the Internet in the dining room where there computer now is... Who knows?

Have a blessed Easter, and don't eat too much chocolate-Send it to me, instead!