Telos!

I finished my Greek final today around 7:00 p.m.! It took about 5 hours or so, but I got it done. I'm fairly confident about it. I know that I didn't ace it, but I'm not worried about failing. I'm so happy that it's over! It was a good experience, but it was just so tough. I had a hard time writing out the last sentence in translation because I knew it was about to be DUN!!! I'm excited. Tomorrow at 11:45 we have to go see how we did. I'm excited.

Tonight, I was hanging with some friends down in one of their rooms. We played Guitar Hero and I was totally impressed that I was passing the songs! I mean, my pals are rockstars, but I am a little coordinationally challenged. It's all in good fun though. I also told them to keep it hush hush that I am a fan of Poison. I figure future congregants might be a little weirded out if they knew I like big hair 80s bands. Ha.

After hanging out in that room, I was looking for another friend, but she wasn't in her room. I decided to go check if there was anyone left in the room some of us were taking our test in. On my way, I found my other pal. She was in the formal lounge with some other Greek students. They invited me in and we all had a beer and some chips and had some good laughs. The people here are SO MUCH DANG FUN! This is so exciting. Anyway, I need to be going now. It's been a good/long/tiring/fun day, and I need to be getting to sleep. You all have a wonderful day.

Molita!

When I was at junior college, I took an introduction to psychology class with a really neat guy. He used to pass around a sheet of paper for us to write our names on and that was what he used for attendance. But, the thing is, the only times he looked at the paper was on test days. So, I gleaned that he was a funny type, and thus, I would write my name as Trishalita or Trishmolita or Trishalitalicious or Trishypants or some such thing. I found it amusing, and I figured it wouldn't be such a bad thing so long as he could get that it was me.

Anyway, after the first test, he and I were talking one day before class started. He said, "Someone wrote something mean after your name on the attendance paper." I said, "What'd they write?" And he said, "Something like, 'Trishmolita' or something." I replied, "I wrote that!" He asked me if that was really my name and I told him that Trisha is my real name, but I was just goofing around. I figured he might get a kick out of it, too.

So, fast forward to the next test day. I wrote another weird something after my name. Then, the next time we met for class, he approached me again and said, "Someone wrote something mean after your name again." I told him that it was me doing the writing, and that it was for fun. So, this pattern went on til about the last few weeks, when he started getting the joke. He started calling me funny little things like, "Trishyroo" and whatever. I found it endearing. He was slightly bizarre, but really, a very funny and charming man.

Anyway, so I was so amused by that semester's antics with the professor that I told Sis and BiL about it. They were also amused, and have since started calling me Trishmolita on occasion. Also, if you call my cell phone and get my voice mail, it says, "Trishmolita is not available...." The other day, a seminary friend called my phone while we were in class so that I could have her number since I gave her mine. Anyway, she hung up and she said, "Who's Trishmolita?" I told her the psychology story, and she was amused (I think).

Tonight, some of us went out to HyVee to get some ice cream. HyVee has individual serving things of ice cream. Since I'm not really into ice cream all that much, I thought that was great. But anyway, all day and night, the same seminary friend has been calling me "MOLITA!" And I REALLY like that nickname! It's so different! I told her to spread it around. Now it's my job to come up with a nickname that sticks with her. It may be slightly tough, but I think I'm up to the challenge.

Anyway, tonight was really awesome. I know I said it a while ago, but I'm REALLY starting to like it here. :) yay!

32 times

Today I was talking to YS because I needed to have a break from Greek. We were talking about getting together next weekend to hang out because I'll be home and she's not working. However, we both have plans for Saturday. Hopefully we can do something another day. Who knows. I'm slightly bummed because I'm not sure if I'll be able to go to the annual Labor Day parade in one of the small towns by my town on Monday. It's TRADITION that we go, sit on BiL's best friend's truck, and watch the parade while drinking some lovely adult beverage from a styrofoam cup. (Hey, the kids get their treats when the floats throw candy; we need our treats too!) Opening worship is slated for Monday at 6:30, I think, and if that's the case, I might not have time to see the parade. Yikes. Hopefully something'll work out though.

Anyway, we were talking about Ma today. She's been living in a nursing home for about a month or so. However, that nursing home is trying to give her the boot because she has an agenda to get out of there and go home, even though that's not a possiblity for her or us right now. She gets out and gets in peoples' cars, thinking that it is her car and that she can still drive. So, the administrator has been bugging Sis to find a new place; a place with a locked dementia unit. My feelings about the place she is are mixed right now, but hey, what are ya gonna do?

I've decided that I can't keep being so upset about this situation. I was really sad about the whole situation for a while. I didn't realize it was obvious until a good seminary friend expressed concern. So, I think I've come to a point where I have realized that the situation isn't what I would like, but I can't do anything to change it besides be there for my family. So, I think I've rebounded back to funny/charming Trish fairly well. I've been telling jokes and things in Greek and my class has been laughing quite a bit. I enjoy making people laugh. I think it's one of my spiritual gifts. Everywhere I go, people tell me that they enjoy my sense of humor. My CPE mates told me last semester that they were surprised when I didn't list my sense of humor as one of my stronger gifts. Until then, I hadn't really thought of it as a "spiritual gift." But, I guess it can be. So, lemme use it, eh?

So anyway, you must be wondering why this post is titled, "32 times." Ha. Ma has only slept a few hours total the past few days, and in one evening, she escaped 32 times. They had to PHYSICALLY carry her back in. It's not funny, and yet it is, kinda. Call me a heartless beast, but I mean, really... Laugh or go insane. I know what my choice is. Have a nice day.

Skechers No More

Well, tonight, I decided that my Skechers have finally fallen apart bad enough for me to put them out of commission. I've worn them for about two years or so, and I went skydiving BOTH times in them. I sported my neon orange shoelaces in them, walked, hiked, and lived in those shoes. I'm going to miss them.

Plus, my other tennis shoes have pink on the bottom and orange doesn't go very well with the pink. But, I don't care, because the orange shoelaces are NOT going away. I need COLOR in my life! Ha.

Oh, and I had a weird dream last night. Considering it's been a while since I've shared any dreams with my adoring public, I figured I'd share this one: I was pregnant and I gave birth to a baby. But, it wasn't MY baby. A woman had been pregnant with triplets and she lost two of them and wanted me to carry the 3rd one to term for her. So, I gave birth to this baby and was suddenly transported to the classroom where my section of Greek is held. I turned and decided to go, and I walked past one of my classmates, turned around, and said, "See y'all later! I just had a baby!" or something like that. It was weird. Anyway, that was the dream. I told the class the gist of the dream during class and they laughed hard, which in turn made me laugh. I think we're at the point in class where we're teetering perilously close to the edge of insanity. Ha.

In other news, our 5th Greek vocab test is tomorrow. I think I'm pretty much ready. I want to ace it because I missed one last week. I do think that I have a pretty decent handle on this week's other stuff though. I'm pumped. I want to do well! We're almost done and I don't want to just barely squeak by. Pray for me! (Proseuxete emoi!!) Ha. How apropos, considering we just learned imperatives today. Later.

Spontaneity

This past Friday, I got back to my room after chapel and sat down. I was surprised at just how few people were in chapel Friday. There were probably 10 people, tops. I know that a lot of students go home on the weekends because they're married or have children or whatever, so that's totally understandable. However, I was BORED out of my MIND last weekend (besides Saturday night). So, I sat down, flipped open my phone to look at the time, and said, "If I leave now, I can be home by 8:00. And whaddaya know? I actually packed a bag and left! Without thinking it through or rationalizing it or anything. Now, that is very unusual for me. Usually I think things through for a long time. I just like to think of everything. But, I decided to go home this weekend, and so I did.

I had a really good weekend, for the most part. I loved seeing my nephews and Sis and BiL. I didn't get to see YS, but I will on Labor Day weekend probably. I really love my family, and missing them is one of the only things that really bothers me about being here. But Howard still remembers me and is excited to see me. Sunscreen also looks SO MUCH DIFFERENT! They're both adorable boys. I wish I could see my oldest nephew (he's 4) more often. But, I'm very blessed through my siblings and their children.

Anyway, not that you all were terribly interested in my weekend, but that is really all I had to post about.

Oh, and the 14th was my 1 year anniversary for my first skydive! Yeehaw. Anyway, have a good week.

Today was cool.

And not in the temperature sense.

Which is good, because I was worried slightly there for a bit, what with waking up about 6 times in the night for various reasons.

After Greek, studying, lunch, studying, chapel, and more studying, some of us dorm students were planning on having somewhat of a "Bon Voyage" to our beloved Meet & Greet Coordinator. "Michelle" was the first friend I made here last semester, and she has served wonderfully as one who meets new students and does her best to make sure they get settled in. She is heading off for internship tomorrow, and thus, we decided to have festivities. Two students made a big card that a lot of us signed, and I offered to make margaritas in the lounge for those who wished to come. I bought the pre-made stuff and some ice today, and brought it back here for tonight. Then, at the appointed hour, I took it down, and people started meandering in. It was SO much fun. We didn't get all drunkered up. We just were able to enjoy one another's company, play a little Wii bowling, laugh, and have an all around good time. Tonight was probably the funnest time I've ever had here. I used up all the ice I bought, and most of the margarita stuff, but I'd rather blow that on friends than drink by myself. :) It was fun. I'll probably be regretting it when I get a big fat "F" on my next Greek exam, but, in the words of Julian of Norwich, "All will be well, all shall be well, all manner of all things shall be well." or something like that. Have a good night.

Oh, and this is my 300th post!

Everyone has a secret.

PostSecret is a website that allows people to mail in their secrets on postcards. Some secrets are joy-filled, while others are filled with sorrow. Some are secrets involving others, yet some are very personal and private. The point is that people often find freedom in telling their secret, even if only anonymously on a postcard that is posted to a website by a man they could possibly never even meet. Everyone has a secret. This video shows many secrets, and is in its own way, quite powerful.

The wheels keep on turnin'

First off, let me preface this post by saying that things are going pretty well for the most part. This piece of writing is basically just some thoughts I've been having.

Ma went to live in a nursing home almost three weeks ago. She doesn't like it at all, but we don't think she realizes she's living there. The times I've talked to her, she seems to think she's visiting someone else. I was talking to YS today, and she said that they called Sis the other day to tell her to find someplace else to place Ma because Ma keeps escaping. This place has been restraint free for 70 years, and they don't want to start up again now. So, we're probably going to have to move her farther away, because, to my knowledge, there aren't any locked dementia units near "home."

Because Ma no longer lives at home, and because OB has his own house, no one is left at home. No one. There is no one to come and go, sit on the porch, or get the mail. The last one kinda had me in a funk last week. YS went to the post office and had Ma's mail forwarded to Sis, and had my address changed here to the Mothership. P.O. Box 81 for us is no more. It doesn't seem like a big deal, but it feels like it is. This is the address I memorized when I was a kid, and the address where I received mail (that made me feel important). But, I no longer get any mail there; not by my full choice, but by circumstance. But, I'm not moving home just so I can keep getting mail there. We all must move on, and so I am realizing this further.

I also have been pondering a lot about Clinical Pastoral Education lately. While in CPE, I really "enjoyed" (if that is a word you can use when dealing with illness and death) my time. As I reflect back on my time in CPE, I am continuing to find the exceeding value of those few months, and those people with whom I shared my CPE time. I have taken the training I received out of that place, and have tried to implement it in my family, and in social and other settings. I have been finding myself listening more intently and caring more deeply. This is a good thing. I like listening to people; to their stories, to their struggles, to the mundane, to their joys, and even to their fears. I like trying to speak a word of grace and hope to those who come to me. So, I've been finding myself contemplating taking another unit of CPE next summer. At this point, I'm not sure if I will or not, but I know that I have a place at my previous CPE location. Supa included in his evaluation of me a sentence that read, "I would take Trish as a student again with no reservation." So, it's something I will be considering and discerning these coming months.

I also have been reading about and viewing much of the Churchwide Assembly the last day and a half. As a matter of fact, I have it playing now. I watched the fourth ballot for the election of a new Church secretary. I have read that David Swartling has been elected. If my memory serves me correctly, he is a lawyer. I also watched the gratitude expressed to outgoing Secretary Lowell Almen. Thanks be to God for his many years of service, and for his dry, and yet amusing humor. I read the many pages on www.elca.org/assembly concerning chaplaincy, pastoral counseling, and clinical education. Unfortunately, the number of ELCA leaders engaging in this type of leadership is decreasing in a fairly dramatic way. And while I was reading this, I think I may have felt a tug toward this type of ministry. I'm really, REALLY not sure if this was really a tug, or if maybe it was just me being "nostalgic" or appreciative of my time in CPE. But I do know that I appreciate Supa and the man of faith and grace he is, and I pray and hope that many other people like him join the ranks of those who try to shape learning minds to reach out to people who are living with pain and fear.

And so, as I look back on my short life and the things I've seen and done, I think that perhaps the hardships I have faced and am facing could be seen as gifts for chaplaincy or as a CPE supervisor ministry. Even more of a gift is the fact that God has remained faithful and loving to me, despite my sometimes angry cries and prayers to God, and despite my own unfaithfulness. So as to not put the cart before the horse, I will discern about a second unit of CPE, as multiple units are required to become a chaplain and supervisor. I'm also very early on in my theological education, and I know that I will have time to discern. Don't get me wrong, ordained leadership is still very much where I feel called. The question is merely, "To what type of ordained ministry am I called?"

Life is most assuredly an interesting ride.

Agios Cow, Dude!

I totally just took an IQ test online that said my IQ is 142, which qualifies me as "A UNIVERSAL GENIUS!!!" Yeehaw. If only I could trust the scientific validity of Testriffic.

Congratulations!

My dear, good friend Jacki got married today! It was a really beautiful ceremony. It was held in a little chapel on the campus where she went to college. I think it was extra nice because the whole ceremony just seemed so intimate. I'm all for big weddings, but this one was refreshing in the smaller size. Also, the chapel was just a really neat place for a wedding. Knowing Jacki and how much she appreciated her time at college, I know this was a really good place for her to get married. She and her new husband asked me to read during the wedding, and I was honored to say yes. I walked to the front, looked out, and read what they asked me to read, and it was just really something to not even have to use a microphone. Lest I really start repeating myself, I really enjoyed the day.

Before the wedding, I met up with three of my other friends from high school in a town nearby the college town. We had lunch, walked around a mall, and then went to the wedding. I got there a little early to be in some pictures, and I made some jokes with the photographer, some random people, and some of the people I knew. Then, after the ceremony, we went back to nearby town and had dinner at a nice Italian place. It was a day of fun, joy, and laughter. I'm grateful to have been a part of the ceremony, and to have been included in the day. I'm even more grateful for the friends I got to see today; friends who are easy to just pick up like we've never been apart. We always laugh so much when we're together, and now I can't wait for Labor Day when the bride, my friends, and I get together and share more of each others' lives! I love those people! AND CONGRATULATIONS, JACKI!!!

A thought

I was just reading Dooce.com's archives and something the writer (Heather B. Armstrong) wrote made me think. She was writing about being stung by a bee. I thought it was kinda weird because bees usually die after they sting someone, don't they? Yeah. And the way it sounded, Heather B. Armstrong was not doing anything to provoke the bee because the friend she was with is incredibly allergic to bees and she had her baby strapped to her front with one of those baby holding things.

So the question is, "Why did that bee just sting her for no reason?"

But really, that's not the question at all. My question is, why do sometimes we get angry and do things for no good reason? I know many hotheaded folks, and I myself used to have a very bad temper, so now I find myself wondering, if we were like bees, we might die after we lose our temper. That might make a person think before losing her temper.

When I was doing my Chaplain thing, one of my calls was for a young man who had been hit a few times by another guy. The young man lost consciousness, quit breathing, and lay in the hospital for a couple of days on life support before the family acted on what they believed the young man's wishes were. So, he died. After being hit twice. With an average-Joe's fists.

And the thing that gets me is that if the "perpetrator" had simply stayed in his car and driven away, the young man might (And I stress, "MIGHT" here because the situation is complicated, but I'm not at liberty to discuss that) still be alive. If the bee hadn't decided to sting for something so stupid as a few cruel words, countless lives wouldn't have been so deeply wounded, families might still be intact, and another young man wouldn't be in deep, deep trouble for being hotheaded.

It troubles me when people I love act hotheadedly and threaten action. The police have a saying, "You choose your victim as he is." That means if you jump some stranger who already has a medical condition, and you therefore "cause" death, you're responsible. Some physical conditions are not easily spotted. People look healthy all the time, but we don't know what's going on inside them. Oftentimes THEY don't know. So, why risk it? Why not show a little grace to those who are less gracious, that they might see and learn what unmerited favor is like? Why be that bee who stings for no good reason and loses its life? Why risk so much to gain so little? What-a little ego boost for being able to avenge one's self? It's not worth it. Get a handle on that anger. The better work is among the flowers.

Wee!

I'm really beginning to like it here!

Therapy

After Greek today, my Greek pal "Marty" and I got together for a little bit of ping pong. We played for a few minutes last night, and after class today, I asked her if she'd be willing to play a bit more. After lunch, we met down in the basement where the ping pong table is, and we played. I really enjoy it because it's a good Non-Greek conversation. I've asked her about her life and where she's been, and she's asked about me and where I've been. Marty is a little bit older than I am, and she's had some really interesting life experiences. I'm grateful that she shared some of them with me. One of her life experiences includes a time when she was a P.E. teacher. Among many other things, she taught self-defense.

Self Defense has always been one thing I've been interested in learning. Marty told me that a lot of self-defense is psychological/cognitive. We discussed how we're socialized and how to step back and realize this. It was a very interesting conversation. The methodic back and forth of the ping pong ball also had a calming effect on me. It was almost like a therapy session, even though neither of us spilled our guts fully about what we've done and what our lives are like. But, it was refreshing, to say the least.

When I got back to my room a minute ago, I woke up my computer and started reading an article I had opened prior to going down. As I read it, I realized that people are able, a lot of the time, to get things they need by talking to accessible friends. Sometimes that's not an option though, when we don't want to weigh our friends down, or when we don't want to change the pace or heading or content of our relationship. But, when we are able to find these friends, it is a good thing. Don't get me wrong, the lighthearted friendships are NOT!!! bad things at all. Maybe having friends is like a box of crayons; they're all great, but you wouldn't normally color a cloud green. Anyway, so this article also had a really interesting quote that I thought fit well with the conversation Marty and I had about self defense:

"All violence is unsuffered suffering."*

Out of context it may not make a whole lot of sense, but it is something you can think about. :) Have a nice day.

*-Quote taken from LeadershipJournal.net
The link is: http://www.christianitytoday.com/leaders/newsletter/2007/cln70730.html