All that is left for me to do is wait...

I just got word that my final reference for my application to seminary has completed the form and will be sending it out tomorrow. Since I applied online to the seminary I wish to attend yesterday, I now just have to wait to hear if they will accept me or not. It is my fervent prayer that they will accept me for January, but I'm trying to imagine all possible outcomes. For me, things are less heartbreaking if I have at least imagined all possible scenarios. Tonight I was vaccuuming at work and I tried to imagine how I would feel if they told me "no" or "not yet" and the thought of not getting to go makes me kind of sad. Therefore, I really hope they say "Yes!" Anyway, since the Candidacy Committee didn't give me a big fat "no" I have to believe that the Churchwide discernment has led me thus far for a purpose. :) So anyway, that's pretty much all I have to say tonight. That, and 44 working days left till I quit RESTAURANT!!!!!!!!!!! (I'm slightly excited; can you tell?)

I did it!

Ok, so actually, I did two things! Here they are...

Yesterday, after work, I was sitting around with the boss at the bar. I always sit out there for at least a few minutes with him because we chat a little bit and then I leave. I've been a complete chicken with telling him when I'm leaving, but last night, during a commercial (I wanted to make sure I had his undivided attention) I told him that December 1 would be my last day. I said, "Boss, December One. That is going to be my last day here. It's a Friday." He said, "Ok. We're really going to miss you." And I didn't say anything to that. Then I said, "OK, bye now." Not really, but you're not interested in the other chit chat we had... I'm thrilled. 45 working days left! Yeehaw!

The other thing I did is a little more exciting to me... I submitted my application to Seminary. I did it online because they waive the application fee if you do it online. I snail-mailed by autobiographical essay to them. 3 out of 4 of my references have submitted their forms, and I just sent my other clergy reference the forms today. OH yeah, let me tell you about that...

Remember how I was discouraged because I don't know many pastors and so I had to call someone to ask if he would be my other rostered leader reference? Well, he said he would be, so long as we had a meeting and got to know each other a little better. That was supposed to take place on October 7. But, my pastor had a new suggestion (He suggested the guy in the first place) that I have the Assistant to the Bishop (A to the B from here on out) for Candidacy Affairs be my other reference. So, I called her and she agreed because she already knows me. So, I talked to the other person and told him that I was very grateful for his willingness, but I realized that I did know another pastor. He thought that would be better too, because the A to the B knows me in a more natural way. So, I sent the A to the B for Cand. Affairs the forms today, and I trust she will fill them out and send them off expeditiously.

So, because that was straightened out, I asked Pastor if it would be a good time to apply, and he said yes. So, I came home from school today, ironed my pants for work, and then applied! I'm excited. Hopefully they accept me. I really want to go!

On a completely unrelated note... A little child made my day on Sunday. The kids sang during worship, so Ma and I had to sit a pew back from where we normally sit. The Sunday School kids came in and sat in the first 4 pews while waiting to get up and sing. So, anyway, once they were done, they all went to their parents. Well, one parent who was sitting directly behind me didn't have room for both of her kids in the pew, so she asked the girl to sit in my pew by me. She did. I noticed she was drawing a little something and it looked cool, so I said, "That looks really cool!" and she said, "Thanks." So, I didn't think much else of it. After worship though, as we were all ushered out to shake hands with Pastor, I talked to him for a brief moment about the reference form that I put on his desk. Then I kept going so as to not hold up the line. All of a sudden I heard the little voice say, "I drew this for you!" I looked down and the little girl handed me a picture that she drew on the back of a communion card. It says, "God, Jesses" (meaning Jesus, obviously) and then it has a picture of a cross, and of God (with a beard) and Jesus (with a smile). The words on it said, "God Loves YOU" I thought it was so cool. I said, "Thank you! I really like this!" And I meant it. I have it here on my desk because I think it is special that a little girl is so willing to tell others that God loves them. I drew her a little picture in return that I plan to give her on Sunday. I hope it offers her encouragement, because I just think that it is so cool that she was willing to tell me, whom she had never met or talked to before, that God loves me. Anyway, that's it. See ya.

I was wondering...

As time continues to pass, and as I continue to plan for my post undergraduate studies, I have found myself wondering a few things. Here are some questions I have regarding my (hopefully) acceptance to seminary and life therein:

What kinds of things should I take for my dorm room?

What do students do for money?

How many people at Seminary like chili? (this is a whole other blog post to itself; I just need to write it)

What is CPE like?

If there were a few words of wisdom from people who have "Been there, done that," what are they?

Ok, that is what I've been wondering lately. Anyone care to chime in?

What a cool day!

Today, I went to the seminary I hope to attend at a later date. I've been there before, but I never saw the dorms. Sis, BiL, and Howard wanted to see it, too, so I scheduled a tour and we went. I was SO grateful that they worked something out so we could come today, because usually they don't do tours on Saturdays. It was great, though. We left home at about 7:40 a.m. because we wanted to stop at an infamous restaurant on they way for breakfast. So, we did. It was GREAT. Then, we met up with BiL's sister and BiL to give them a sticky bun from said restaurant. We talked with them for a little bit and then headed toward the seminary. I didn't print out directions because I figured once we got to the city, I'd remember how to get to the seminary. Well, because we met BiL's sister farther in the city than I'd ever driven before, I was a little less confident in my ability to get us to the school. However, I remembered some landmarks and said, "I think we need to turn here. And, there should be a restaurant down here at this fork in the road. We need to stay left." So, BiL was skeptical of my navigatory skills, but then when I was seeing the landmarks, I knew we were on the right track. We got there with no problem.

The tour was cool. I'd seen most of the campus before, except the dorms. Our guide showed us a residence hall room and it was really cool. They're all single occupancies and are a lot like little studio apartments, except they don't have a kitchen. But, there is a residence hall kitchen and residence hall laundry room. It was more than I was expecting. I was pumped! I really am looking forward to going there. I am feeling re-energized and motivated to get in for January. It is such an awesome place, and I'm not even that familiar with it yet...

After the tour, we went to a coffee shop downtown. It was cool. I'm not really a coffee drinker, but I didn't want to be a huge dork and order a glass of water or something, so I got a flavored coffee. We all sat down and talked and stuff, and I had a great time. Like I said before, I am REALLY grateful that this student worker was willing to come in on a SATURDAY!!! to give me and my family a tour. That is just awesome. And she didn't treat us like we were imposing on her free time or anything. She said she has the best job on campus, and it's all good. If this woman is any indicator of the majority of the people on campus, I know it will just be great.

On our way back home after the tour and coffee, we stopped at the same infamous restaurant for dinner. I wasn't very hungry, so I ordered a small meal and finished most of it. It was excellent, just like breakfast was. Howard was a very good boy today. He's 5 months old, but he hardly ever cries at all. He's a smiling fool. :) Anyway, I just thought I'd post on my wonderful experience. Have a good day.

The Shower Story

Well, after I got done bellyaching in my first post yesterday, I had to go get ready for work. I was in the bathroom getting ready and all of a sudden, I heard someone laughing at me. I thought, "Oh great... Someone's laughing at me and the problems I am having. That's fantastic!" So then, I looked up and noticed that I had poked my "Patrick Star" (From Spongebob) shower hangup and it was him laughing! So, I started laughing, too. Patrick makes me laugh. And that made my day better. I was all ready to go into the "I don't get no respect" routine, but it was just Patrick. Oh Patrick, I love you.

An addendum

In response to my last post, I need to say that I am very grateful to the A to the B for being willing to meet with me to be my second rostered reference. I just wanted to make that clear. Because he's a nice guy (from what I know of him) and he is very busy. Despite my general frustration at being held up yet again, I just wanted to let you all know that I am not angry with him. He's cool. I'm just upset at me, really. And I think I'm stressed cuz we have 2 big parties on the books for tomorrow night and it's very stressful because we're not a big restaurant and there are only ever 2 waitresses on Friday nights and that's not enough to deal with 2 big parties and the other people who come in. So, I'm stressing. And Pastor suggested I wait to apply to seminary til I have all the required paperwork, so I guess I'm waiting. Waiting, waiting, waiting. I have to go to work now. Bye. P.S. remind me to tell you about my "shower experience" that I had today. It'll be worth it.

I'm being unreasonable.

Do you ever have the problem where something unexpected happens and you have a completely unreasonable response to it? That happened to me today. I had a good morning, where I really thought, "You know, even though this whole application to candidacy and now candidacy process has been somewhat long and "stop & go" for me, and despite the many questions I have posed to myself regarding my ability and/or readiness to move away and begin theological education, I really believe that ministry is where I am being led." I was feeling really good about it all, and I was even planning on submitting my application to seminary online today after I got done talking with one of the Assistants to the Bishop in order for him to be my second rostered leader reference (Not the A to the B for Candidacy affairs, the other one who is in part responsible for teaching churches to do Natural Church Development. Our church is in the midst of NCD, and that is how I know the A to the B). Anyway, I was expecting to have a talk with him over the phone for maybe 45 minutes to an hour and that would be that. But instead, he suggested I go to the Synod Office to have a 2 hour meeting with him. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not averse to meetings or whatever, but I have been waiting for what seems like FOREVER to apply to seminary. And now, I don't know if I should WAIT until after October 7 to apply, or if I can go ahead and apply now. The application requires that the applicant put down the information for the references, so I'm in a quandary. Our meeting is 2 weeks away! That seems like a long time. A really long time! And what if they don't take me for the Spring Semester and I will have quit my job already and blah blah blah... Anyway, so I'm just way more upset about this than I should be. That is why I feel like I am being unreasonable. I'm also angry with myself because I should have read my e-mail before I called the A to the B because Pastor suggested I use the other A to the B (the one for Candidacy Affairs) because she already knows me. I had thought about her before, but didn't think she was allowed to be a reference for me because she is so involved in the application and candidacy process. Or if I'd known that I needed to have a huge whole long interview, I could have found a more local pastor to help me out. I've met a few of them, and I'm sure one of them would have been willing to act as a reference. But no... See, unreasonable. I'm being unreasonable. It's not the end of the world. Maybe I'm just tired. I don't know. I need to go get ready for work now. Bye.

The end is near!

No, sorry, I'm not prophesying anything here! I'm not the Kentucky Prophesy Guy (Woman, in my case). I have been thinking a lot lately about the future. A million questions have been running through my mind. "Will I be accepted to seminary for January? Will I get in to the extended CPE term? When am I going to quit my job? What do I need to take with me? Am I going to fit in? Will I be able to handle the rigors of theological education? Is this really my calling?" All these questions and some others related to these questions have been running through my mind. But, in my thinking, I at least think I know when I'm leaving Restaurant. I would like my last day to be Friday, December 1st. I plan on graduating on Saturday, December 16, so having two weeks off prior to that will help me get things in order, and will also help me have time to finish up my research. So, as I was driving to school today, I realized that the end is in site for my "career" at Restaurant! I didn't realize it until today that, as much as I like serving the people who I have come to know and love there, I am ready to be gone because of all the drama that is Restaurant. I'm thrilled. I've been there for 9 1/2 years and it is time to move on! So, I'm thrilled. And now, people are standing around waiting for a computer here at school, so I'm going to stop blogging and let someone else have my station. Hasta.

P.S.

I'm excited! I'm going to visit my hopeful future seminary on the 23rd with Sis, BiL, and Howard! I'm getting a tour and then the plan is to go to a coffee shop there and have a question/answer session! I'm pumped!

I was wondering...

You know, I've wondered something (A particular something) at various points throughout my teenage and early adult years that I've never actually put out there verbally or in written form. But, tonight, I just decided that I would ask. Hopefully someone might comment and let me know their thoughts. But, what I've wondered is if kids, teens, and early adults go about their lives and think about people in their lives who act kind of as a surrogate parent. I have thought of several people in my life as kind of a surrogate father, but I was unsure if that was because my own dad died when I was 12, or if this is something that is normal. At various points in my life, I have come to love some men in a fatherly sort of way. Now, what I was wondering is if this is something all/most people do, or if only those of us who do not have a parent think in these ways. I have grown to love some of these men (There have been 3 total, so don't think I'm some psycho who slaps the "fatherly love" emotion on any man who comes into my life who is older than I am) because they actually remind me of my dad, and one I love because he makes me think of the "ideal dad," even though all dads have their faults. Any thoughts? I really am curious. Lay it on me.

Something cool.

As promised, here is the something cool. It is a 3-D picture:

You can click on this to go to the site to make your own! It's really cool! The only bad thing is that it displaced my profile to the bottom of the page. Ah well. Such is the price we pay for art!

Lots o' Stuff

Well... It's Monday. This morning, I was woken up by house-shaking thunder and strobe-light lightning. It was cool though. A little scary, but cool. I woke up and thought, "I'm going to die if a tornado rips my house away because I'm too tired to get up." But, I fell back to sleep for another hour or so, so it was all good. Worship yesterday went fairly well. Even at the church with no musical accompaniment. Although, for one hymn, I said, "We will alternate left side to right side for this hymn." And then I opened the LBW and saw that it was only a one-verse hymn. DUH! haha. So, I said, "Oops, I guess that's a bad idea. How about we read this one all together." The congregation laughed a little, so at least they weren't thinking, "What an idiot!" Otherwise, worship went well. Sis, BiL, and Howard came to our church (not to be confused with the "other" church I did). I almost feel bad for admitting this but, I had to steel myself while reading the Gospel lesson because Howard and I "talk" a lot (keep in mind he's 5 months old) when I'm playing with him. While I was reading the Gospel, he started babbling, I think in response to my voice. I cracked a smile and didn't want to turn into a pile of laughing mush, so I had to block his little voice out. It was cute though. The people in the first few rows may have noticed a smile befall my face as he started his little conversation. I love that child like crazy. Actually, I love BOTH of my nephews like crazy. They're special little people.

In other news, I called the seminary to which I hope to apply today. I called one of the professors who has been in conversation with my pastor. I wanted to hear what he has to say about starting in January. Any seminarians out there want to weigh in on this issue? Do you think it's a good or bad idea to start in January? When did you start, and how long did you take? I'm curious about these things. I also called the seminary to try to set up a visit. Sis and BiL want to go with me to check the place out and perhaps look at the residence hall rooms to see what kinds of stuff I will need to take. They want to go with me to visit sometime this month, so I would really like to get this set up. Unfortunately, no one was in the office there, or in the professor's office. Ah well. Another time, perhaps. Anyway, that's long enough for now. I will post something cool in just a moment that I saw on a friend's blog. It's amusing. See ya.

Music Appreciation Sunday

Hey, guess what!? I get to lead worship/preach today! Pastor is on vacation and so I get to "give church" as some like to say. I'm excited, even if I still am fighting with my draining sinuses. Ah well. Today will be "music appreciation Sunday" at the second church where I am leading worship. Both of the organists are actually members of another area Lutheran church, and they are testing out the new hymnal or something today. So, we will not be able to sing. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, as they say. :) There are still hymns involved in worship, but we will be reading them, perhaps responsively, perhaps by gender, but not singing them. Pastor chose hymns that have a good message but are a bit harder to sing. I don't mind. I can't carry a tune in a bucket anyway. So, now I have to go and make sure I have my ducks in a row. See ya later.

Yuck.

'Sup, people? Man, I should be in BED right now! I'm bad. Oh well, I have a legitimate reason for being up this late. I just got done with my homework. And no, I wasn't procrastinating (well, I was, but not too terribly). I actually was busy and couldn't get to my work. I am leading worship this Sunday and so I had to write my message and get it sent to Pastor. He and his wife are leaving tomorrow to go on vacation. I hate having to drag him away from what he is doing on vacation to read the message I should have had sent to him prior to their departure. So, I wanted to get that done. I did and he gave it the thumbs up. I'm thrilled. So, then, our church council meeting was changed from Monday to tonight (Wednesday, even though it is technically Thursday right now) because of the Labor Day holiday. I had to go to that because I am the secretary. Plus, they talk about me a lot because of the Student Aid fund and what not. I like to be in the know, ya know? So, I got home tonight and had some dinnah and then got (almost) straight to my homework. If I wasn't feeling so crappy, I might have been able to get at it sooner, but I think I have a sinus infection or something. It's making me queasy. :( Thank the Lord for chewable Pepto Bismol (it actually tastes like that old candy "bottlecaps"). And anyway, I've noticed something in several of my recent posts... Sometimes I am a little too negative. I think I'm going to start working on that because negativity is not something I want to let get a foothold in my life. Pastor and I have been talking about my impending application to seminary and I have been feeling weird about that, and kind of down on myself. He talked to the dean of students at the seminary to which I plan to apply and the dean said that starting in January isn't a bad idea. Pastor emailed me and told me about his convo with that man. He gave me a little boost when he said, "Some things/people are worth the extra investment." Now, I didn't think much about that comment until tonight when I stuck around after council to have a brief chat with Pastor. I thought he had meant that some extra time at Seminary wouldn't be a bad thing because it's a cool place. But during our chat, he said, "Did I make myself clear when I emailed you the last time?" And I said, "Yes. Extra time at Seminary wouldn't be bad because it's worth the extra investment." And he said, "I meant that YOU are worth the extra investment." Thanks for the reminder, Pastor. Sometimes I forget. And that is my daily outpouring, poor self-esteem issues and all. Have a nice day.

Wow, I feel special!

Labor Day is kind of a big deal 'round my parts. The town in which I live doesn't really do anything, but neighboring small town (NST) has a bunch of festivities. A carnival comes to town, one of the state's largest Bocce ball tournaments is held in NST, and a big Labor Day parade is pretty much the culmination of the festivities. People from all over the area come to put their horses, tractors, floats, legion members, marching bands, and cool cars in the parade. One year, they even had three parachuters jump in on the parade. Unfortunately, one hit a street light or some wires (I remember seeing the accident, but I don't remember what the guy hit; I was not even a teenager at that time) and was seriously injured. They've not done that since. Anyway, so last Thursday I was the hostess at Restaurant. We have a lovely older couple who comes in on Thursdays whom I truly respect. They are just nice people. You know the sort; they always have kind words and ask about life, school, and all that good stuff, and they truly seem to care. Anyway, the Mr.(Whom we shall call Mr. MooCow, because he farmed in his younger days) asked me if I was going to the Labor Day parade. I said, "Usually I do, so probably." He said, "I'll be in it with my '72 Vet." I told him that would be cool, and I asked him if he would be throwing candy. He said, "I don't know if I'll have candy or not. We'll have to see. You know, I'll pick some up and throw it for the kids." So, I said, "If you see me, throw me some!" I was half-joking because the candy is supposed to be for the kids, but really, who can turn down candy? So fast-forward to the parade today. I sat uptown with my sisters, BiL, "Howard" and some other friends and acquaintences. We watched the parade and laughed as all the kids scrambled for the candy that was being thrown around. I looked and looked for Mr. MooCow, but I wasn't seeing him. The parade neared the end and a bunch of corvettes drove past, but no bright yellow, 1972 corvette showed. So, finally, I stood up and looked down the street and saw it coming. So, I sat back down and when he got closer, I saw him throwing butterscotches, tootsie rolls, and peppermints to the kids. And when he got closer yet, I yelled, "HI Mr. MooCow!" and he was doing the rote parade wave. You know, the one where you just turn in the direction of who said your name and wave. But then, he saw me and got a big smile on his face and waved a real wave before reaching down and throwing me two special Baby Ruth bars! Haha. The kids next to me snatched them up, but that was ok. He had "special" candy for me! I just thought that was so nice. He made my day. He really did. People like that make life so much easier and fun. He made the day of some kid he barely knows by just doing one act of niceness that could be overlooked by so many in our fast-paced world. And for people like Mr. MooCow, I say, "Thanks, God."

158

Today, at bowling, I bowled probably the second best game of my life! I scored a 158! My highest game ever was a 199, which I scored on the last day of league bowling in 2005 (I think). Yeah. So, I'm excited.

In other news, wait, what am I talking about? There is no other news. I'm boring. :) ha. See ya.