Tomorrow is the day.

Yup. The time has come for my clinical interviewer with the psychologist the synod set me up with. I plan on leaving around 6:30 or maybe a little bit later because I'm not sure what traffic and construction work is going to be like up there. I need to look at the Illinois Department of Transportation webpage to see about usual congestion and what not. I hope it's an easy drive. I've never driven that close to Chicago before, although I've been to Chicago many times. Anyway, I'm kind of nervous about what will happen tomorrow because, as I've said before, I think I'm mentally healthy (For the most part) but you never know what a professional will say about you. Anyway, I'm making the trip by myself because Pastor is busy and most of my friends are working. I know that I will be glad when tomorrow is over because I've been rather nervous about this part of the process ever since I took the battery of psychological tests. I know I over-analyzed, and I probably over-generalized about myself, too. So, hopefully this will not offer a hindrance to my application to Candidacy. We'll just have to see. There's really no use worrying about it all. At times like these, I always try to go to the Scripture that says, "So, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring worries of its own. Today's trouble is enough for today."-Mt. 6:34. Maybe I should print that onto the bag into which I hyperventilate. (that was a joke, I don't usually hyperventilate.) Anyway, I need to go now because I have an early day ahead of me, and some more things to do before I hit the sack. Later.

Woo, it's hot out there!

Wow. I mowed the lawn today and it is HOT!! outside! I had to take a few breaks, although some of them were due to the fact that I'm slightly ill. Anyway, I got the night off work so that I could go to the church to be trained to be on the health team for my congregation as we undertake the process of Natural Church Development. It seems very exciting. I am looking forward to this, so expect to read more about it as time progresses and as we get further into the program! I have to go now! I stink.

Yo Adrienne!

Hi. S'up Skillet!? Ok, enough of that. Do you all want to hear a story? Gather 'round and let me share with you the events of my Friday...

4:00 a.m. went to bed (What can I say? I'm a night owl)
10:00 a.m. woke up (With the help of a cell phone alarm)
10:01 a.m. tried to return the call of the clinical interviewer who tried to call me Thursday. No one answered
10:02 a.m. went back to sleep after setting my real alarm clock for 11:00 a.m. to try calling again
10:55 a.m. answered ringing phone to hear the voice of clinical interviewer. Talked to her for a few minutes when all of a sudden, alarm starts sounding. Thoughts of, "OH CRAP, she's gonna think, 'is that an ALARM CLOCK I hear in the background at 11:00 a.m.? What kind of lazy weirdo am I dealing with!?'" Smack off alarm clock and get appointment set up. Take down directions to get to the place.
11:02 a.m. go downstairs and look up directions to get me to the place where she began her directions
11:03 call my Uncle "Dale" to make sure computer directions are right.
The rest of the day until about 3:00 p.m. was spent pretty much bumming around and semi-freaking out about my impending psychological appointment. Nothing against psychology workers; I've just never been involved with them.
3:45 pm. went to work, was pretty busy, helped train a new waitress, bummed around after work...
10:45 p.m. TOTALLY SMOKED A HUGE RACOON on my way home! I was worried it damaged my car, but I looked and nothing seems to be amiss.
10:46 p.m. made plans to wash car of dead animal entrails in the morning.

So, that was my day in a really boring minute by minute rehash. On a better note, my brother, his wife, and their son are coming up tomorrow. They're staying until Sunday night. I'm thrilled! I don't get to see them nearly as often as I would like to. My little buddy is getting so big, and they say he talks A LOT now. He's 2 1/2. yay, yay, yay! Anyway, happy Memorial Day to you all if I don't post again before then. Drive safely!

It's kind of odd.

I was blog surfing today among blogs I do not regularly read. I haven't done this for quite some time. I have my 5 or 6 blogs that I read pretty regularly and that's usually it. Today, though, I went looking for something new to read. Anyway, I stumbled upon this blog of a woman discerning a call to religious life in a sisterhood. She has an interesting post about "over toasted" baked goods and how that makes her remember her mother. It is interesting to me to read this, at all times, tonight because I've been remembering my father today because he has now been gone for eleven years. This time of year always makes me remember him and as I grow and mature, it's less sad and traumatic. Instead of thinking of how he passed away, it is now easier for me to remember the life he lived. Even more entertaining to me is the fact that my new nephew looks A LOT like him. Ever since the first time I held that child, I thought that he reminded me of someone. Well, last week, I helped Sis bathe him. When he has a wet head, his hair turns curly. That is what did it. I said, "He looks just like Dad! That's who he reminds me of!" And it seems that it is just the little things that make me look back and remember Dad. I had my RealPlayer opened tonight for the first time in months and I listened to "A Walk in the Black Forest" by Horst Jankowski, which was his favorite song. And it's just nice to be able to look back and not feel completely awful about my childhood and that one experience that usually elicits the "pity looks" and awkward comments of people who find out about that part of my journey of life. I can honestly say that my life is good the way it is. I can't always be looking back and thinking that life would be so much better if... Life is the way it is for a reason. I've come a long way spiritually, emotionally, and physically since I was 12 years old. I'm glad to be the person I am and I am thankful for the person I am becoming. And because of this, I think Dad would be proud of me.

I really AM a dork!

Ha. Last night as I was falling asleep, I realized that I wrote "Wednesday" in the previous post! Woops. In my defense, I must say that I was slightly sick and pretty tired last night. I just want this week to hurry up and be done! :) Anyway, I'm just sitting here bummin' around till it's time to go to work. I did a bunch of laundry last night, so I'm caught up with that. I would be outside doing yardwork now, but I don't feel the greatest. It's nothing too awful, but when my nose is running and I have a sore throat, I just don't feel like cutting down huge weeds that have turned into trees in the abandoned neighbor's yard. You know how it goes. Anyway, onto more interesting things. The congregation of which I am a part is going to be doing Natural Church Development. We voted to do this a few council meetings ago. NCD involves a health team which helps spearhead the whole thing. Guess what? I was asked to be a member of the health team. I think my role is going to be less than that of the other members though, because hopefully I will be gone before we finish the program. Anyway, I believe that this health team helps distribute a survey to 30 active members of the congregation. Through these surveys, we find out what our strengths and weaknesses are and work on strengthening our weaknesses. The whole logic behind this is analagous to a barrel. The water in a barrel can only reach the top of the shortest stave in the barrel. So, if we work on getting higher staves, as it were, hopefully we will be able to be more effective in the ministry that is carried out there. Our first training session is Tuesday. I'm looking forward to it, and NOT just because I get that day off work! Ha. Anyway, I need to go now. Have a good day.

A little fun...

Hello all. You may be wondering, what kind of fun is happening on a Wednesday night? Wednesdays suck. But no, Wednesdays do not always suck. Why not? Because of this website where you can download for FREE the original Chiquita banana jingle. It's a lot of fun. I never knew a jingle could be so catchy. My little sister (Who's not so little, by the way; she's 22) was singing the song to my baby nephew and we wanted to know the real words because she didn't know all of them. Well, we stumbled upon the website that has sheet music and the original jingle, which coincidentally is WAY better than the '97 version. At the current moment I am printing out the sheet music so I can entertain! Woot! Ya! I'm a dork, but it's a lot of fun. You should try it sometime. :)

Thinking you have stumbled upon an ordinary blog...

You have instead entered: The Twilight Blog!

I'm just kidding. I've only seen "the twilight zone" about once in my whole life. Anyway, that's not what this post is about anyway. I'm just feeling the need to loosen up.

Last night I had this dream: I was at a church council meeting. It was weird though, because people who are not on the council were there. People whom I have NEVER served with were in there along with Pastor. Well, then Pastor said, "The psychological test results are back. Trish, you didn't make it." I asked, "Why? What did I say that was wrong?" He replied, "One question asked if robbers were good people. You said 'false.'" I said, "Why is that true?" And Pastor answered, "People who go into ministry must realize that some people are better at others at certain things. You didn't catch that, so the psychologist recommended a no for you." Then I looked down at the table and was like, "ok." And Pastor said, "That is another thing. You always look down. Ministers need to have confidence to look the world in the eye, even when things are not going their way." And the people around me, instead of talking about my negative recommendation instead started talking about lawn mowers. That's about the time I woke up. It's a very bizarre dream and I put no stock in it whatsoever, but it's just weird. I also find it funny because one of the questions in one of those personality profiles was something along the lines of, "I believe my dreams are things that should be heeded." I wrote false. My dreams are always just really weird things that generally I can figure out because of things that are going on in my life. So, I think the reason I had this dream was because I've been slightly worried about the results of this test. It's kind of weird though, because that dream helped me realize that they're not going to say no on account of my answer to one question. I imagine they take the whole thing into account. I just hope I came off as a well-adjusted, stable person. Now I'm just waiting to see what they say.

Did you ever notice how difficult waiting is sometimes? We live in an instant gratification society that practically conditions us to want and even expect things RIGHT NOW. As an employee of the food service industry, I see this quite often and am frequently disgusted by peoples' sense of entitlement. However, as I sit here, I realize that I, too, am guilty of wanting things to be resolved RIGHT NOW. I sit here wondering when I will know if I "passed" my psychological evaluations. Now, I consider myself to be pretty stable and level headed. I've made leaps and bounds in my own humble opinion in the past few years. When I was younger, I always felt guilty about things. I've gotten better about that. As a young adult, I had a problem with anxiety. Yes, sometimes I still get nervous (look at this post!) but the fact is that I'm worlds better than I used to be. I honestly believe that there is hope and promise out there, and I want to be one who spreads that hope and that promise. I would really like to do these things in a professional setting. I realize that we are all called to spread the Good News of Jesus in our daily lives, but it is just on my heart, truly and deeply, that I am called to ministry. So, it is in this desire to be a professional that I find myself to be impatient. I want to know RIGHT NOW if the psychologist thinks that I am fit or not. I've said it before, and I'll say it again... I need to have better faith in God's promise that God has a purpose in mind for me. It's just an anxiety-ridden process to wait to see if I've discerned "correctly" thus far. There is always that saying, "Trust that you are exactly where you are supposed to be right now." but sometimes I question that. Anyway, I'm off now, so I'll talk more later.

P.S. sorry that this post seemed to take so many different twists. I was thinking one thing, then I thought another thing, and I felt the need to get both off my chest. :) You are good people for putting up with my twists and turns!

Life is good.

Today was a great day for me. I spent the night at Sis's house last night because it's just nice to get away sometimes. Even though Sis woke me up a few times (inadvertently) in the night to change "Howard" (the diapers and changing table is in "my" room), I still woke up on the right side of the bed. Even when BiL came up and said, "Hey Trish, come down and help me cut up the ham for tonight." I wasn't crabby. I got up, went down, helped chop up 120 pounds of ham, and further did some things. We had cinnamon rolls for breakfast, I got to hold my little buddy. I got to help Sis give him a bath today. Oh my goodness, he has curly hair when it's wet! He's adorable! Well, hanging out at Chez Sis's was not the only thing I did today. One of my best friends graduated college yesterday, and so I went to her graduation party! That was fun. Oh yeah! A "shout out" to all of my newly graduated friends: Jae, Dan, Christina, Sara, and Mark! Yay for you guys! It's something! Well, so after the party, I went to another function: a benefit for a gentleman who has had some bad medical times lately. So, that was good. Everyone was in good spirits, even "Jerry" who is the one who is sick. We didn't stay too late at that though because it was getting too loud for Howard. So, I followed Sis home and then chilled with her tonight. I was holding the baby and he fell asleep on me and that is about the best feeling in the world. :) :) :) Happy. I love that child like crazee!!! But anyway, I have found myself to be kind of a gusher about him, I'm sure that most people out there don't care! Lol. Whatever. Anyway, the events of the day have pushed the "stress" of the past week out of my mind. It's been a wonderful day. I'm very grateful for my friends and family who are so wonderful. And now I have to go put my stuff in the dryer and go to bed! Mother's Day is technically today. Happy Mom's day all you people who have had the blessing and opportunity to lead little ones! Be blessed.

Now I wait...

I took the battery of psychological tests today. Altogether, they took me 5 1/2 hours. I took the MMPI-2, the Strong something or other vocational interests test, a proverbs test, the California Personality Inventory, a fill in the blank test, an adjective checklist, and a "fill in the next logical number/letter" test. After reading the agency's webpage, I'm slightly nervous, but I know that God has God's plan in mind with regards to me and the vocation in which I land. I need to keep in my mind all that God has promised me: Eternal life, love, forgiveness, grace, redemption... I'm just so afraid of being a failure. I don't want to let down the people who have supported me thus far. I don't want to let my pastor down, but most of all, most of the time, I really feel called to ministry and the thought that my perception of this call has been wrong just makes me feel icky. I know it will seem like a long time until I get to see what I have said about myself and if the psychologist thinks I will make a good candidate for ministry. I think my biggest problem will be the fact that I am somewhat indecisive. I think things through A LOT, but once I get them in my mind, I can generally go with the flow. I hope that comes out in the analysis. I don't want them to think I'm a waffler or something. I don't know. I need to go have a chat with you-know-Who now over the events of the day. Please, if you wouldn't mind, say a prayer for me? Thanks.

Dun dun dun duuuunnn!

So, I got word that the synod psychologist sent the MMPI and other testing materials to Pastor. I talked to Pastor this morning and we got my testing set up for Thursday, beginning at 8:00 a.m. I'm kinda psyched, kinda nervous.. But, we'll just have to see all about my psyche! yeah. Anyway, I'm looking forward to actually progressing! This is the most I've gotten to do all at one time so far. I'm just glad I don't have to go to school past Tuesday! Woot! I'll let you know how it goes!

Woah!

Nope, sorry to disappoint you, nothing exciting is going on! So, you might ask, "Why did she title this post, 'woah!'?" I don't know if I got that punctuation right, sorry any English freaks out there... Anyway, I was just thinking about Joey Lawrence, the guy who is pretty much credited with coining that phrase for the t.v. show "Blossom." I don't know WHY I was thinking about him, but I was. Anyway... The semester is almost over. I had two finals yesterday, I sent in a paper today, I have another paper due Monday, a final Monday, and my last final should be Tuesday. That is, of course, if I got a good enough grade on my most recent Psych test. The professor only counts 3 of the possible 4 exam grades, and since it is impossible for me to have gotten an A, I am shooting for a B. If I successfully attained my B with the latest test, I don't have to take the final. Here's hoping. Anyway, I have to go check now. Hopefully, hopefully, hopefully, Dude! Yeah!!!!!!!!!! I DID IT! Wooohoooo! Granted, it's the lowest possible B I could get, but I did it, all the same! That class was hard! I got a B! *Does a happy little dance* I have to go celebrate now! Bye!