Today...

Today was a busy day. You know, being busy can be a good or a bad thing. Today, however, it was, for the most part, a good thing. Today is the day I got to lead worship. Pastor and his wife went on vacation and so he asked if I would lead worship. I was thrilled to say yes. I really enjoy leading worship, and it had been a good long while since I'd had the opportunity. Well, I wrote a message and got all the details all ironed out before Pastor left. He approved my message and all that good stuff, so I was set. So, this morning, I got up, and Ma and I went to church. I led worship, got some really nice feedback, and then headed to the other church that Pastor leads. At that one though, I only have to read the Gospel and deliver the message because one of their congregants does the other parts. It's all good though. They gave me some positive feedback as well. So, church was interesting and more busy for me today. Unfortunately though, then I had to go work at Restaurant. I got sprung into waitress duty because we had a party. Ugh. I really don't like being just shoved into it when it's not planned, but what can ya do? OH well. I was glad to get out of there today though. I came home and took a VERY long nap. :) Hehe. I should have been doing homework, preparing for finals week and what not, but I didn't. I am SO bad! hehe. So, that's what I did today.

Ah yes, I almost forgot to say that things are actually progressing with my application to candidacy! I got some correspondence from the synod psychologist the other day. I had to fill out a "request for monitor" form, and also a "list of references" form. The request for monitor form is a form where I send them information about who will provide the quiet place for me to take the MMPI, and will make sure that I don't get interrupted or anything. Pastor said he would do it, so he got put down on that form. Then, I put some people I work with and serve with down as references, made sure it was okay with them to use them, and then I sent that away. SO, pretty soon, the psychologist will send Pastor the materials for the test and I will get to see all about my psyche. I'm slightly nervous, and yet still more intrigued to see what this test will say about me. I'm just looking forward to seeing some progress made. Anyway, I need to go now. I have another busy day ahead of me tomorrow. Hope you all have a blessed week!

Wow.

This week has been very interesting. I'm just sitting here in amazement, really. Ever since the birth of my little nephew, it seems that I've been much more thankful. He's so wonderful. An innocent, sweet, adorable, new little life is here for us to shape and love and cherish. Tonight I was over at Sis's house and BiL went to his league bowling night. "Howard" (The baby) was sleeping in his bouncy chair on the table because Sis can't bend down right now due to the C-Section she had to deliver him. I could see him at all times from where I was sitting, but I got up every few minutes just to go look at him. Then Sis would come out and look at him. Then, when BiL came home he said, "What are you doing? Just looking at him? Well, stop it, there are people on the front porch who want to look at him too!" (that last part was said in jest, he didn't really expect us to stop looking at him). No one had knocked though, so we were just looking at the little guy. He's just so cute. I love the little guy, and I've only "known" him for 5 days. He's just a wonderful blessing and I'm grateful to God to be given the opportunity to be his aunt.

So, enough emotional blubbering.. Haha. Saturday night I came home from Sis and BiL's house and realized that I'm preaching next Sunday. So, I sat down and wrote a message. I think it's one of the better messages I've ever written, but as soon as I see that Pastor has replied, I will think it is awful. This is before reading his comments though, because he is never anything but constructive and supporting. He's made changes to the message I've prepared before, but always in a positive, non-condemning sort of way. But the fact of the matter is that whenever I see he has replied to something I've written, I get this feeling like he's going to say, "Trish, what's wrong with you? That really could use some work." And this feeling is completely unsubstantiated, because as I've said before, Pastor has never been anything but affirming and encouraging. So, it's just me and my low self-efficacy. But anyway, I'm excited to be leading worship next Sunday, and I hope that God uses me as an instrument of grace and peace. :) And now, with that said, I look down and see that my update is about downloaded. So, I'll be installing this and going to bed. You all have a good day.

P.S. Finals weeks is coming up; pray for me!

Thanks be to God.

I am the proud aunt of a brand new, 7 pound, 14 ounce, 19 inch long, bouncing baby boy! Monday night, I went with Sis and Brother in Law (BiL) to the hospital because she was scheduled to be induced into labor. We thought it was going to be a fairly quick process. When we got there, the nurse took us to the "birthing room" Sis was assigned to. It was nice. There was a couch, a chair, a T.V., DVD/VCR player, furniture, and all kinds of stuff. Sis got settled in and BiL and I sat on the couch. We tried watching a little T.V. but my head was just going a mile a minute. So, the nurse came in and was explaining some things and she asked Sis to change into the robe they provide and all that jazz. So, this is where Nurse tells us that they are giving her one dose of medicine every 4 hours, for 4 doses. That meant 16 hours until they were even planning to give her the more potent stuff! So, after realizing that "howard" would not be born last night, BiL offered to go get some stuff for her to do at Mal-Wart. So, I stayed and BiL went out. It was a lot of fun. Hospitals do not weird me out. I think it's because I had a lot of medical problems that required frequent visits to hospital settings when I was a child. If anything, hospitals bring out my "I'm going to help you" mode. So, the best way I know to help those closest to me is to make them laugh. I had Sis rolling. It was good. So, BiL got back after about an hour, and I stayed for a little while longer. Then, I had to go because I had class today. Looking back, however, I wish I would have skipped class and work because I REALLY wanted to be there for Howard's birth. Lots of people have seen him, and I haven't yet. And now I sound really petty and childish. I really shouldn't because I feel I already have a bond with the little guy. He kicked me in the head when he was still in utero. :) So, Pastor has seen him, younger Sis has seen him, BiL's sister and niece have seen him... But, I'm just grateful that he's healthy (From what I've gathered thus far), and that Sis and BiL finally get to see the little guy that God has knit together in Sis's womb. It's amazing.

So, I got the message that Sis had Howard as I was going in to work today. I was so happy and excited, but at the same time, I was really worked up. My pulse was racing and stuff and I really don't know why. I had to keep moving around for fear I was going to faint. I don't know why at all. I'm not a medical wuss in any sense, really. But, we were swamped tonight at Restaurant so I had to get over it quick. Anyway, I'm going to see Howard tomorrow, at which point I will give him a big, wet, sloppy kiss and say, "this is what you get for kicking Aunt Trishy in the head, buddy!" Hehe. Anyway, I have some stuff to do before I go to bed now. If you said any prayers for the little guy, thank you from the bottom of my heart. Thanks be to God!

An amazing amalgamation of emotions!

Wow. Here I sit, waiting for my sister and brother-in-law to get ready. We're going to the hospital tonight for Sister to have her baby! It's going to be an induced ordeal, so that has kinda taken one element of exciting out of the mix. However, at this point, I'm thinking that a slight reduction in excitement is not a bad thing. This whole day I've been kind of a nervous ball of energy. The mama and daddy to be have managed to chill out, watch t.v. and take naps. I, on the other hand, have been occupying my mind with things all day. Also, my knee has been bouncing up and down for a few hours. At the end of this, my right leg will probably look like Popeye's after he eats a can of spinach, and my left leg will probably look like the weakling leg. Ha. Anyway, if you read this before my next post, please pray for safety for Sis and "Howard." These are exciting times. This whole pregnancy, I have been just amazed that God works these little miracles in people. I have found myself praying for the baby like crazy, and it's just increased over the last several days. I know God loves the little guy, because we are fearfully and wonderfully made, but I just am so anxious to see him in person; to see 10 little toes and 10 little fingers, and all of that. I really love babies. So, if you would please, offer up a few words for him. I can't wait till it happens! See you all later, when I am an aunty to nephew number 2!

On a lighter note...

I think something is living in the ceiling above my computer desk. I'm slightly afraid... :$ Yikes!

Some questions that have been running through my mind lately...

So, I'm sitting here, wondering, once again, about my future. Everything is so uncertain that I just find myself rather confused. Ok, so, I'm supposed to graduate in December, but at this point, I'm not really sure because they still haven't resolved the problem of opening up a space for me in the LAST required class I need to take for my major (Sociology). Therefore, that has me wondering. I really do not want to go to School for an additional semester because, frankly, I don't particularly care for School. It's too big, too impersonal, and I'm tired of living at home and commuting. So, I'm ready to be out of there. Another thing I've been wondering about is this whole Candidacy thing. I haven't been able to DO anything in the process for over 2 months now. I'm a little frustrated, because as I've said before, I'm a doer. I like hands-on things. I don't like sitting back for all this time and just letting these things go. Yes, I consider myself fairly laid-back, but at this point I find myself thinking, "Come on, come on, what's the hold up? Can't I do SOMETHING to expedite the process?" Really, now. So, I'm slightly worried about getting my psych eval and Entrance Interview done in time to apply for Seminary. And then, I find myself thinking.... Would it be so bad if I didn't transfer in January? Yes, I want to get this ball rolling, but wouldn't transferring mid-year become problematic down the road? I don't know Greek or Hebrew, so I'd be behind there... Would I have to rush rush rush in order to catch up in order to be able to go out on Internship or CPE or whatever? Also, I heard Candidates have to do 3 J-terms in order to graduate. If I transferred to Seminary in a January, I don't rightly think I'd know what to do for it, so that year would be out, another year I'd be at my Internship, so that only leaves 2 Januarys available. What would I do about that? I guess I should be asking my pastor, the assistant to the bishop, or someone else about this, but these are just questions I've been pondering lately. I'm very frustrated with my lack of faith on this issue. It is frustrating. I should (SHOULD being the operative word here) be content in knowing that God cares for me more than the sparrows of the air, but I am finding it difficult right now. What am I supposed to do? Roll with the punches? Start throwing some of my own? Throw in the towel? Ugh. I don't know. I'll leave you now with my departing words taken from one of my favorite "philosophers:" "And that's all I have to say about that."

I'm not a good cook.

Wow. I am really, REALLY not a good cook. I don't EVER make anything from scratch that involves more than what a grilled cheese involves. I'm bad at making things, heating things, or even just figuring out what is in food dishes. For example, tonight, I came home from Restaurant and decided to have a chicken pattie. You know the kind, where they're fully cooked, you just have to pan fry, bake, or microwave it to done-ness. Well, I made it, and was eating it on a bun and when I got to the middle, I thought, "Chicken patties are NOT supposed to be cold in the middle." Ha. So, I can't even get something that is designed for kitchen dummies like me right! Man, and I have worked in a restaurant for almost 9 years, go figure.

On another note, I am not inept in all areas of my life. I can and do like to use tools when the situation warrants it. I didn't have to "fix" anything today, but I thought, "It's getting SO nice outside that I need to get my bike ready to go out." If you've been reading the ol' blog a while, you will remember me telling you that I no longer drive a big Jeep Cherokee where I just had to open the hatch and throw one whole and complete bike in the back to air up the tires. Now I drive a little Neon which necessitates me folding down the seats and taking the front tire and brake pad off the bike in order to take it to town to air up. So, I did that. It's been on my "To do" list for about a month now. I'm happy though. If I was not such a procrastinator, I could have gone for a bike ride on Wednesday because it was absolutely gorgeous outside. But, I had a 6-7 page paper due Thursday that I didn't start on until Wednesday around noon... So, the bike ride went to the back burner. On a happy note, I did get the paper done. I just hope I get a decent grade. It is my own procrastination that is leading me to the "B" work I've done this semester. I'm bad. Anyway... I'm kind of just procrastinating right now. Why, you may ask? Well, I got home from work and went into the kitchen to find my absolute FAVORITE kind of ice cream sitting on the counter. The bad part? Mom forgot to put it in the freezer. So, I picked it up and found it to be a completely runny mess. I quickly threw it back in the freezer, hoping that ice cream will retake its former shape. I'm having doubts though. Who knows?

And my last bit of information tonight... I have plans for tomorrow! I'm SO EXCITED! One of my very best friends and I are going to see ICE AGE 2 and perhaps get a bite to eat and probably hang out at Mal-Wart or something. I haven't seen him for a few months, so I'm very excited. He's a blast to hang out with whenever we get together. We used to date, but that didn't work out, so we didn't talk to each other for a while. But now, we're just great friends. So, I'm excited. Anyway, hopefully you all have a good Saturday as well! Bye.

Contemplative

Hey, my first April post, would you look at that! Did I tell you all that my sister and her husband are going to have a baby? He's due April 26. So, that means 22 days and counting, although he will probably arrive before then because she has gestational diabetes and they'll probably want to get him out sooner than his due date. He should be fine, he's already 6 pounds something ounces. We're very excited for "Howard" to get here. Howard is not his real name, but it's a 9 month joke we've had going. Perhaps that story will emerge in another post.

The real reason I wanted to blog was to discuss contemplation. Tonight, at our church council meeting, we did things slightly differently. Pastor sent us a letter last week asking us to think of ways we see God at work in the world and in our lives, and how sometimes we perceive God as silent in areas we wish he wasn't silent. Well, I had some examples all ready in my mind, but when it came to talk, I just wanted to listen to others. So, I did. No one called me out, so I was content to hear what others had to say. It was very interesting. However, after the meeting, Pastor came up to me and said, "Awful quiet tonight, Trish." And I told him I was tired, which is not a lie because I am really tired, but it wasn't the whole truth either. The other part of the truth is that sometimes I like to be quiet and just listen to the wisdom and insights of others. In fact, a great deal of the time I want to be quiet and listen. Unfortunately, I usually end up talking in these situations while my brain screams, "Shut up and listen! You can't learn if your lips are flapping." But sometimes, I go through periods where I am very successful at just being a spectator. I don't know why I didn't just tell him that. I'm sure he'd understand. Pastor is a very compassionate, understanding man. I don't know. Anyway, I learned tonight some interesting things about why some people do not hear God's voice when they wish they could. I cannot always hear God's voice ("hear" here is not literal, I never actually "hear" the voice of God) and I wanted to understand the situations that cause confusion and lack of "hearing" for other people. I learned because I kept quiet. I usually find that when I get into one of these "shut up and listen" modes, I learn a lot more. I don't usually get my own points across when I'm intent on just listening, but really, how important is that, anyway? I don't know how long this will last, or if perhaps I'm wrong when I get like this, but I can't really help it. When the mood strikes, eh? Anyway, that's enough for tonight. I just wanted to say goodnight, and if you're reading this blog, go wish Mark at Stumbling Toward Divinity a happy birthday today. It'll be fun, I promise. :) See ya.