Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Channeling Dad

My husband recently "discovered" a trick to save us money.  Instead of buying microwave popcorn, the thing to do, he was told, is to just dump about a 1/4 cup of regular popcorn kernels into a regular brown bag; like a lunch sack for a kid.  You fold over the top of the bag a couple of times, then lay it on its side and microwave it.

Now, I'm a cheapskate.  Always have been, probably always will be.  So, I was generally down with this.

The other day, I was in need of something salty to snack on, and being out of sun seeds, popcorn is OBVIOUSLY the next choice. 

So, I went to the kitchen and did all the steps, and waited for the popcorn to pop.   BUT, it was taking FOR-EV-ER.  Not just a little forever, but like, "Sandlot" FOR-EV-ER!

So, I stopped it, took the bag out, dumped what little had popped into my bowl, and started it again. A couple of seconds later, though, the microwave went off.  I called in to the hubster and said, "I think I blew a fuse!" 

He came in and looked around, then went to the basement.  No fuses blown.  Hmm.

He came back to the kitchen and looked at the microwave and then said, "Holy crap!  This is hot!" 

So, we unplugged the microwave and put it in the dining room, away from flammable substances, and I just had to suck it up and be happy with the minute amount of popcorn that popped.

The next morning, I woke up and I smelled something BURNING!  I freaked out and jumped out of bed to see if the microwave had melted into the dining room table it was sitting on.  Thankfully, the microwave wasn't the culprit.  Hubby burned breakfast.

So, last night, I REALLY wanted some popcorn, but the old microwave was toast (my electrician brother in law told me that it is NOT safe to use a microwave after it shuts off and gets hot).  So, I decided to channel my dad, who was a popcorn FIEND.

I didn't grow up with microwave popcorn.  No.  In our household, we did it the OFW-OLD Fashioned Way.  We put oil in a pan, put popcorn kernels on the bottom, then shook the hell out of the pan until all the kernels popped!  I hadn't done that in YEARS, but I wanted some popcorn!

So I MADE that popcorn.  On the stove.  And it was perfect.  So delicious.  When the popcorn was done popping, I turned off the burner, dumped the corn into a bowl, and then put a pat of butter into the still warm pot to melt.  SO good. 

The only thing that would have made this more "Dad-Like" was if I would have had some bacon grease in which to pop the corn.  But I never much liked that method, and bacon grease popcorn is probably why he's dead now.  So, I just have to think that Dad would be smiling that his daughter, the non-cook one, was kicking it Old School, just like he taught me.

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

First World Problems

Bismarck, ND had a record amount of snowfall on Sunday, April 14, 2013.  They had over 17 inches of snow in less than ONE day.  It was crazy.  So, with the inundation of snow, the roads are not all cleared up, traffic is going slower, and things are generally just a huge mess.  So, of course, I was crabby (Being a pastor does not negate the fact that I get crabby).

I went to one of the hospitals in town to do a visit.  I was in town already for text study; a gathering where rostered leaders in the Church gather together to "talk about what we're going to talk about."  So, I streamlined my Bismarck time to do some visits, too.

The person I wanted to visit was already discharged, which was good news.  So, I went back to my car to go do some nursing home visits.

While I was walking to my car, I saw a guy walking across the parking lot with his cell phone held to his ear.  I thought, "I better watch out for that guy.  He will probably be here before I get reversed out."  So, sure enough, this guy was soon behind my car.  Now, I had ASSUMED he had seen me get into my car, but I think I assumed wrong, because...WHY?  BECAUSE, when  he got to my car, he stopped walking.  He just was standing there, blocking me.  So, I tried to wave at him a little bit, but he wasn't paying attention.

I started my car to get his attention.

I put my car into REVERSE to get his attention.

The guy KEPT STANDING THERE.  Talking on his cell phone.  Seriously.

Finally, the guy moved enough for me to reverse out of my parking spot.  So, I reversed and put my car into DRIVE.

But guess what!?

The guy was in my way again.  Standing there, talking on his cell phone.  LOOKING right at me. Seriously.

I sat there about 15 seconds, and the guy moved again and I could go.

Seriously.  Dude.  Seriously.  Move.

Everyone is a little crabby right now.  We've been enduring about 6 months of winter.  We want spring temperatures.  We want sunshine.  We want travel and exercise to be uninhibited by the snow.  So it just seems to me that random dudes should not be standing behind someone's car when there is a whole parking lot full of empty cars they could stand behind.

Petty, what with the state of affairs, but we're not in the Oppression Olympics.